Holworthy Hall

“ Don't be so tight with your brilliant stunts."
"A few years ago, the mystery scheme used to work," mused Dillingham. "I wonder if these microbes would fall for it? Run a photograph of a man in the papers—the first fifty people who stop him on the street and call him by some funny name get a free ticket. It might stir up interest."
"That isn't bad," admitted McHenry. "Well, then, we might as well get in with both feet. We'll offer prizes for the best criticisms of the shows. Come in, see the show for half a dollar, and have a chance to make twenty-five by writing a criticism." ”

“ Well, I'll tell you just what I'll do with you. I'll take a salary of twenty-five—just enough to live on. I'll gamble the whole way with you."
"The salary isn't important——"
"You bet it is! And I know what you were thinking; you were thinking that I'd probably draw down a couple of hundred a week, whether the company makes any money or not. Weren't you?"
Dillingham flushed.
"The point," interposed McHenry, "isn't whether this particular scheme is any good; it's whether we want to get mixed up in any theatrical scheme. Ordinarily, Mr. Westervelt, we like to know what we're getting into." ”

“ It looked to "Pepper" McHenry that this was the hundredth time
SEATED at the window of their new office on Fifth Avenue, both officers of the Cambridge Company were so deeply absorbed in contemplation of the traffic that at first they paid no attention to the stenographer, who was trying to announce a client.
"Fives full of fours!" said Dillingham, noting the license number of an expensive automobile. "That's another for me!"
"You wait a while. The bus is mine. Four sevens! It's 71777!"
"Only limousines count, Pepper," his partner reminded him. "A bus isn't a limousine!" ”

“ H. Payson Westervelt hitched still nearer, and tapped McHenry over the lungs.
"You put up five thousand in cash," he said, "and we'll split! Five thousand would carry us nearly three weeks if we didn't take in a cent. If we play to a third of the house, we'll make four hundred a week, two hundred apiece, and that would give you forty per cent for a ten weeks' investment, which is at the rate of two hundred per cent a year. But we'll do better than that. We ought to clear nine or ten thousand apiece, easy! Why, think what other producers have done! ”

“ The stage hands shifted scenery with sober precision; the, mayor cut McHenry on the street and went to the movies; the leading lady found herself the pet of feminine society; and Westervelt consumed in two months more vichy and seltzer than the majority of men ever see in action.
This last was the only outcome which seemed to Dillingham unbelievable. From personal experience he knew that Pepper was capable of selling almost anything, tangible or intangible; but from what he knew of Westervelt, he couldn't comprehend how even Pepper could have tamed him overnight. ”

“ I'll try to tame this Westervelt person, and you take charge of the leading lady——"
"A lot of good that'll do! Don't you get it? We haven't a theater, Pep, and we haven't any scenery, and we haven't anybody to handle it!"
"Well, even if we had we couldn't give a show without the actors," said Pepper. "You can melt the heart of the lady, can't you?" ”

“ It's a real bargain. Now two women can get together and——"
"Had you thought," asked Dillingham sardonically, "that there wouldn't be any way of proving whether their names were really Smith or Jones?"
"I hope they aren't—the worse liars they are, the better they'll please me. A couple waltzes up to the box office, claims to be one Smith and one Jones; the Jones buys a ticket, and the Smith gets one right next to it for nothing. Then next week we'll let the Joneses in free with the Smiths buying tickets." ”

“ There won't be any sore-heads, and we'll have the whole town coming every day—to see their own friends, and then to see how much better they are than the other people's friends."
"We're picking up right along—I don't know that we'll need anything as drastic as that."
"We need every new twist we can think up." ”

“ Wednesday matinée we'll sell the fifty-cent seats for thirty-nine cents! Thursday we'll sell the first ten rows in the orchestra for fifty-three cents, marked down from seventy-five! We've got to get the women coming—it's the women that pay the rent bill!"
"All this depends on Westervelt——"
"No "
"Why, of course it does! If he has another one of those special professional public appearances, we'll be queered for good!"
"Mr. H. Payson Westervelt," said Pepper, "will be one of the modelest young men in Middleburgh for the next ten weeks—nine weeks and four days, to be exact. ”

“ We can't be highbrowish about it. The scheme's to get the crowd in any way, but get it in. I've been scouting around the shops—this is a great place for bargains. Everything you see on Main Street is a bargain sale, or some cut-price arrangement. Well, we'll meet the competition."
"Yes—seats for nineteen cents, marked down from a quarter," scoffed Dillingham.
"Worse than that—much worse. I think we'll give a free seat any day this week to any person named Smith." ”

“ They played on Monday to nearly two hundred dollars. Westervelt said it was because McHenry hadn't advertised properly; and the leading lady said it was because Westervelt was a poor actor; and Dillingham said it was because the girls of Middleburgh were jealous of the leading lady's looks; and McHenry said it was because they'd chosen a poor play; and the papers said that it was a great triumph, and that every one received a tremendous ovation, and that seats were selling six weeks in advance. ”

“ McHenry squeezed the juice of the last lemon into a glass.
"It's been worth sixty-five hundred apiece," he said finally. "Besides, it's up to us to be strictly moral. In fact, moraler than that." He poured the vichy on the lemon juice. "You know what we are, don't you?"
"Promoters?" guessed his partner.
"Good Lord, no!" said McHenry. "Angels!" ”

“ At half past eleven he decided to have a special program, with much advertising at ruinous rates; and at quarter of twelve he had hired four solicitors and set them to work.
The solicitors were hardly out of the door before he remembered that there was a street drop in the second act; so he hired another solicitor and sent him out to get advertising for signs on the stage buildings and on a hastily conceived billboard. At one-twenty-five he settled on refreshments and began telephoning, for bids for the concession ”