Leo Tolstoy

“ After dinner, Mamma took her seat in a large arm-chair in the salon, and cut open the leaves of any newly-arrived books; we read aloud, or went to the piano in the small drawing-room. We read a great deal together during those two months, but music continued to be our supreme enjoyment, for every day it seemed to strike some new chord in our hearts, whose vibrations revealed us to each other more and more wholly. ”

“ He stood still, thought a little, then, smiling, repeated the two lines from Lermontoff:
"And he, the madman, invoked the tempest, As if, in the tempest, peace might reign!"
" Yes, he is more than a man; he sees everything!" thought I; " how can I help loving him!"
I left the piano, took hold of his hand, and began to walk up and down with him, measuring my steps by his. ”

“ Worst of all to me was the consciousness that day by day the chain of habit was binding and pressing our life closer into its narrow mould, that our love itself would enter into bondage and become subject to the monotonous and dispassionate law of time. ”

“ He was silent an instant.
"And in what do you not live with me on a footing of equality?" he said: " it is I, not you, that is concerned in this affair of the ispravnik and some drunken peasants."
" Yes, but it is not only this case," said I.
" For the love of God, do understand me, my darling," he continued; " I know how painful a thing care is for us all; I have lived, and I know it. I love you, therefore I would spare you every care. My life is centred in my love for you; so do not prevent my living!" ”

“ To be cheerful in the morning, respectful at dinner, affectionate in the evening! " To do good!" I said to myself, it is all very well and admirable to do good, and to live a worthy life, as he says; but we have yet time enough for that; there are other things for which, to-day, I feel powers within me. This is not what I wanted; what I wanted was combat, struggle; was to feel that love is our guide in life, not that life guides our love. I could have wished to draw near to the abyss with him, to say to him: "One more step, and I dash myself down, one more movement and I perish ”

“ No one could have said that anything was handsome or elegant, but everything, from the attendance to the furniture and the food, was proper, solid, regular, and seemed to inspire respect. In the drawing-room, tables, chairs, and divans were symmetrically ranged, the walls were hidden by family portraits, and the floor was covered with ancient rugs and immense landscapes in linen. In the small parlor there was an old grand piano, two chiffoniers of different shapes, a divan, and one or two tables decorated with wrought copper. ”

“ Tatiana Semenovna never made her appearance until dinner time, taking her tea alone, and only sending an ambassador to wish us goodmorning. I always found it hard not to burst out laughing, when the maid entered, took her stand before us with her hands crossed one upon the other, and, in her measured tones informed us that Tatiana Semenovna desired to know whether we had slept well, and whether we liked the little cakes we had for tea. Until dinner time we seldom remained together. ”

“ Sometimes this calmness, this indulgence, this seeming indifference to everything, irritated me, and I could not help looking upon such conduct as weakness, and telling him so.
"Ah, dearKatia," he replied, once, when I was expressing my annoyance, " how can a man show that anything, no matter what, is displeasing to him, when he is as happy as I am? It is a great deal easier to yield, than to make them yield, I have long been convinced of that, and, moreover, of the fact there is no situation where one cannot be happy. Everything goes so well with us! ”

“ I do not even know, any longer, how to get angry; for me, just now, there is nothing at all that is bad, there are only things that are either dull or droll. But, above all, 'let well enough alone.' You may hardly believe me, but whenever I hear a ring at the door-bell, whenever I receive a letter, actually whenever I wake in the morning, a fear takes hold of me, fear of the obligations of life, fear that something may be going to change ”

“ He need not take me to the city, it would only be necessary for him to be a little like me, for him to stop trying to constrain and crush himself with his own hands, for him to live naturally. That is what he is always advising me, and it is he who is not natural, that is all. ”