Paul de Kock

“ One must needs try to retain a certain amount of dignity; to forget one's dignity is not the way to win love. When, burning with desire to see Armantine, I was on the point of forgetting my resolutions and running to throw myself at her feet, I remembered how she had left me abruptly, to attend to her tea, without a word in reply to what I had said to her.
I had not once met Madame Dauberny, and I regretted more deeply every day the loss of that strange creature's friendship. It was so novel to be thou'd by a woman whose lover I had never been. ”

“ We three left the salon; I cast a glance at Madame Sordeville, who seemed thunderstruck to see me go away with Madame Dauberny, who had sent the baron on ahead and had taken my arm with the greatest familiarity.
I felt a thrill of joy and satisfaction, which fully compensated me for all the tedium of the evening. Frédérique was right; by taking me away with her, she had served my passion more effectually than I had done by all the ardent glances I had bestowed upon the seductive Armantine. Women are never mistaken as to what it is necessary to do to make sure that the arrow reaches its mark. ”

“ I do not call them mistresses. You will find it hard to believe that a man loves sincerely, when he confesses that he has had several mistresses at the same time. But are you familiar with the workings of the human heart? Nature has eccentricities and secrets which we shall never know.
It is probable that my reflections had not given a cheerful cast to my expression; they absorbed me so completely that I did not notice the superb Frédérique, who had stopped in front of me and finally said to me in a mocking tone:
"Mon Dieu! how you seem to be enjoying yourself, Monsieur Rochebrune!" ”

“ My amorous thoughts cooled a little as I drew near Rue Ménilmontant, a street, by the way, which might well pass for a faubourg. In that quarter I met no more women who reminded me of Armantine. I called her "Armantine" to myself, although that was perhaps a slightly familiar way of speaking of a woman I had known less than twenty-four hours, and who had given me no right to claim that privilege. But when a lover is speaking to himself, is he not at liberty to apply the fondest names to the object of his adoration, and to address her by the most familiar terms, in the ecstasy of his illusions? ”

“ Indeed, for some time past, Madame Dauberny had treated me so strangely, she had been so cold to me, that I found it hard to believe in that recrudescence of friendship of which she spoke in her letter. If she meant the warning seriously, why did she not come and speak to me herself? She had told me several times that she had no more hesitation in calling on a young man than on a friend of her own sex.
And so, without giving another thought to Frédérique's advice, I went at once to Madame Sordeville's.
I found Armantine in her dainty boudoir, surrounded by flowers and embroidery. ”

“ I have repented more than once of having given vent to those outpourings of the heart which we should confide only to those who know us well enough to judge us fairly; but, as society is always disposed to believe in evil rather than in good, if we have a failing, it is magnified into a vice; if we confess to a foible, we are supposed to have dangerous passions. Therefore, it is much better to lie; and yet, it seems to me, that, if I were a woman, I should prefer a lover who frankly confessed his infidelities, to one who tried to deceive me. ”

“ Well! do you accept?"
"Does she accept!" cried Madame Potrelle, springing up as if she were going to dance. "Why, who ever heard of refusing such an offer as that? a thing that makes her sure of regular work; especially when she sees that it's for a gentleman who—for someone who hasn't any desire to—why, it's as plain as can be!"
"Yes, monsieur, I accept, and with gratitude," said Mignonne; "for I have a child, and by giving the mother assurance of a living you benefit the child no less." ”

“ I looked at the graceful folds of Frédérique's gown, and did not reply.
"You see, my dear Herr von Brunzbrack," continued our amiable hostess, "I thought it best to tell you that Monsieur Rochebrune does not love me, that his heart is engrossed by another; in short, that you must not look upon him as a rival, for I saw you glaring at him with your big eyes, which are very savage when they are not very sweet; and because it is more agreeable to me to see perfect harmony between my guests. But do not reason from that, that other men do not make love to me, and that I do not love anybody. ”

“ There was no one there who cared anything for me! Why should I care for them? I had come there on account of a woman who had fascinated me, whom I already loved, whom I would have adored; but her cold greeting, and her coquetry with all of her male guests, had forced back into the depths of my heart the sentiments she had inspired. I was vexed that I had fallen in love with her; I determined to think no more about her. Balloquet was more fortunate than I: he never took love seriously ”

“ Monsieur Faisandé, you seem to be terribly afraid of disclosures. Is it because you fear your excellent wife may be involved?"
The Treasury clerk turned as red as a poppy.
"I don't know why you indulge in jests of that sort, Monsieur Balloquet," he cried; "it's very bad taste, monsieur!"
"Then let me speak, monsieur, and don't keep putting your oar into our conversation; your mock-modest air doesn't deceive anybody. People who make such a show of decorum, and who are so strict in their language, are often greater libertines and rakes than those whose language they censure." ”

“ But, instead of that, they part in anger, and sometimes come to hate where they have loved so dearly."
"No, Frédérique, no! that does not happen when two hearts have burned for each other with a sincere passion. The connection may be broken, but a pleasant remembrance of the happiness they have enjoyed always remains."
"Do you think so? In that case, I never loved Saint-Bergame. Yes, I am sure now that I didn't love him; and, more than that—would you like me to tell you my inmost thoughts? Well! I believe that I have never loved any man! ”

“ Dupréval is going to speak! Great God! what chatterers those fellows are!"
"It's not we, messieurs, that you hear; it's the music. Hark, listen! they're dancing; there are wedding parties all about us—two or three at least."
"What is there surprising in that? Aren't there always wedding feasts going on at Deffieux's?"
"For my part, if I kept a restaurant, and had such a class of patrons, I would take for my sign: the Maid of Orléans."
"Oh! that would be very injudicious: many brides would refuse to have their wedding feasts at your place."
"Hush! Dupréval is getting up; he's going to speak." ”

“ I set out with my heart full of Armantine's image. I arrived at her door. I remembered that in society one must wear a mask, so that one's secret thoughts may not be divined. But that mask embarrassed me; I could hardly endure it.
There were a good many people there before me. So much the better, I thought. The more numerous the company, the greater one's freedom of action. Monsieur Sordeville greeted me warmly, shook my hand, and reproached me for not coming to their little receptions for several weeks. ”

“ Frédérique nodded slightly in acknowledgment of my bow, but not a word, not a smile.
"Upon my word," thought I, "she's very sensitive for a gaillarde!"
Armantine, I had been told, was a flirt; and, indeed, I had been several times in a position to judge that it was not safe to rely on the hopes she aroused. But, without flattering myself that I could cure her of that failing, it was possible that she might love me. After all, I had never yet met a perfect woman; in truth, I had never sought one. ”

“ Come! let's not stay here. Oh! it's horrible to come in contact with such people!"
But I was incapable alike of speech and action. Moreover, Ballangier did not relax his grasp on my coat.
"Drive me away!" he cried; "me—his friend—the most intimate friend he's got in the world! I think I see him driving me away, good old Charles! Charlot—Rochebrune, if you like that better. Ah! you think I'm mistaken, do you? you think I don't know him? Just ask him if he don't know me; ask him, and see what he says. Piaulard, you're an old ass! ”

“ Tell me why your brow darkened just now when we were talking of Monsieur Sordeville? Are you afraid that he doesn't make his wife happy?"
Frédérique resumed her grave—yes, sombre air; she lowered her eyes and was silent for some time before she replied:
"You have made an unfortunate choice for your first question. I can't answer it, my dear Charles; there are some things that one must keep concealed in the depths of one's soul, that one cannot reveal—even to a friend—especially when—— I did wrong to give way to thoughts that—— No, it's impossible! it cannot be! ”

“ From Rue Bleue, where I lived, to Rue Ménilmontant is a long distance, but the fresh air and the exercise did me good. I thought of my charming partner, the seductive Armantine's image was constantly before my eyes; and when I spied a woman of her stature and figure, I quickened my pace, in order to overtake her and find out if it were she. I always had my trouble for my pains, which did not deter me from doing the same thing again a few moments later. I have noticed that love always gives as much occupation to the legs as to the mind. ”

“ I made up my mind to go to Monsieur Sordeville's on Thursday. I must wait until then to see the charming Armantine. The intervening four days seemed very long. There are some men who kill time and shorten the period of separation by talking of their loved one with their friends; but I have never had confidants; true love is always better placed in the depths of our hearts than in the memory of indifferent persons, who take no interest in it, or recall it only to laugh at us if we are betrayed, to call us fools if we are loyal, to envy us if we are happy. ”

“ What in the deuce shall I talk to him about?—Poor boy, talk to me about Armantine. It is such a joy to speak of the person one loves! And you are very much in love with her, aren't you?"
I confess that at that moment I was thinking much less of Madame Sordeville. So that I replied, rather coldly:
"I was very much in love with her; but her treatment of me to-night cooled me off."
"Oh! when a man is really in love with a woman, monsieur, he doesn't cease to love her just because she flirts a little with other men; on the contrary, he often loves her all the more for it." ”

“ He was intimate with Monsieur Ernest; he broke with him entirely as soon as he learned of this outrageous performance of his. I was profoundly interested by Mignonne's misfortunes; and that interest was absolutely pure, as I did not then know her. I understand why she looked upon me at first with suspicion; when one has been so shamefully betrayed, it is natural to suspect evil designs in the most innocent actions. I saw your young tenant, and I did not fall in love with her—not even after she recovered her beauty. ”

“ But I must get up and liberate my squirrel, and return your ten francs."
"I will take back the ten francs, which would be of no great use to you; but if you would like this five-hundred-franc note, which I put in my pocket with a view to settling with my tailor, why, don't hesitate to say so; I shall be glad to do you a service."
Balloquet forgot that he was in his shirt; he leaped on my neck, crying:
"Would I like it! I should say so! I wouldn't have asked for it, but you offer it! You're a friend indeed! Let me hear anyone say that there are no such things as friends nowadays! ”

“ But he wasn't content with treating me like the lowest of the low; he kicked me in the head and breast and everywhere."
"What a ghastly thing!" cried Balloquet, while I, restraining my feelings with the utmost difficulty, felt great drops of perspiration on my brow. The story of that loathsome conduct made my cheeks tingle.
"I begged Monsieur Bouqueton to spare me," continued Annette. "I confessed my guilt and begged for mercy; but he would not listen; he kept on kicking me and calling me vile names. At last, he hurt me so that I could not speak. ”

“ Indeed, Madame Frédérique—she prefers to be called that, you know, for she detests her husband's name—Madame Frédérique, I say, makes no bones of declaring that she does only what she pleases, and that she intends to do everything that she pleases. When a woman says that, I should say that one may well call her a gaillarde!"
Monsieur Sordeville smiled, and said simply:
"People say so many things that they don't do! Sometimes, it is to obtain a reputation for originality." ”

“ Madame Sordeville's behavior after my encounter with Ballangier left me in a morose and melancholy humor, which I was unable to overcome for several days. I would have been glad to see Madame Dauberny, to divert my thoughts. If, while losing my hold upon a pretty woman, I had found a sincere friend, I certainly should not have lost by the exchange. But how was I to see Frédérique? ”

“ Ernest is my Christian name, messieurs, and that is what she always called me. It is possible that my story shocks you; but, at all events, it's all one to me. I snap my fingers at your displeasure! You make me laugh, with your long, solemn faces! I take reproofs from no one; the man who chooses to administer one has only to speak—I am ready to answer him."
"Oh! messieurs! pray beware!" cried Balloquet, with a laugh. "I warn you that Fouvenard is extremely quarrelsome in his cups. Three or four more glasses of champagne, and he's just the boy to defy us all!" ”

“ Was there not reason to fear that the evil example might be contagious? or was Monsieur Dauberny's conduct such as to excuse his wife's? or again, was Monsieur Sordeville one of those philosophical husbands who look upon all such things as mere trifles undeserving of their attention? I was tempted to believe that the last conjecture was nearest the truth.
"Who is this Monsieur Saint-Bergame?" I asked, after a moment.
"Hum! I have no very definite idea. However, he represents himself as a journalist. But nowadays, you know, a man is a journalist just as he is an advocate. ”