Sydney Tremayne

“ A MAN’S IDEA of ‘life’ is a series of improbable situations with impossible people.
A WOMAN’S KISSES prove almost as little as her words. A man kisses a woman because she attracts him, while a woman kisses a man because she likes to attract him.
SO MANY rich men have given up all the pleasures of youth so that when they are old they can afford all the things they can no longer enjoy.
95 A WOMAN’S chief asset lies in what is invested with mystery; a man’s chief assets must needs be invested with knowledge. ”

“ IF YOU don’t tell a woman she will find out; and if you do tell a woman you’re a fool.
THE man who cannot make a mistake never tried.
A WOMAN likes the things her lover likes, but loathes the things he loves. ”

“ NEVER make a woman cry unless she insists.
A MAN is like an omelette, he cannot be successfully warmed up again once he has got cold.
YOU NEED not consider a man but you must amuse him.
81 TO KNOW and understand women requires brain: to know and understand men requires beauty.
WHEN a woman begins to boast of the insults she has been offered in the past her charms are waning.
A CLEVER woman can help her husband, a pretty woman can help herself.
MOONLIGHT does not make things happen but it makes them visible.
82 THE husband who counts is the one who has something to count. ”

“ IF A WOMAN HAS anything worth telling she tells it; if a woman has anything worth showing she shows it.
IT IS no good laying down the law if you can’t take up an argument.
A WOMAN’S MIRROR reflects her whole world.
22 IT’S A splendid plan to make a man run after you, but remember that he won’t go on running indefinitely merely out of curiosity or hope. The time will come when he will sit down to rest—with someone else.
A WOMAN who knows just when and how to make a scene is clever, but the woman who knows just when and how not to make a scene is wise. ”

“ You can’t get much for’arder with a living woman by being familiar with a dead tongue.
31 IF A WOMAN is young and pretty and fascinating, the world of men will forgive her anything—and see to it that there is everything to forgive.
EVERY woman should be an édition de luxe of herself.
THE one woman in the world who could make a man of a fool, a home of a house, and a romance of a marriage probably wears glasses and jaeger and so never gets a chance.
IT IS MORE or less true that an attractive woman has no friends. The men are more and the women less. ”

“ IF ONLY the women we love were as true as the things they teach us about women!
A PRETTY woman alone is invariably considered a mystery; a plain woman alone is a perfectly natural phenomenon.
MANY a woman who looks light would be a terrible burden.
35 THE people who are quite unforgiving are those to whom there is never anything to forgive.
THE things one does because one wants to do them are generally wrong from somebody’s point of view. It is therefore better to do them out of view of everybody. ”

“ IF A MAN puts a woman on a pedestal someone else will help her down.
NO MAN gets what he wants, though some may get what they have wanted.
THE REASON that a love affair so seldom ends happily is that one of the lovers is generally unwilling for it to end at all.
2 NO ONE agrees with other people’s opinions, they merely agree with their own opinions expressed by somebody else.
IT IS a poor doctor who cannot prescribe an expensive cure for a rich patient.
A WOMAN alone is not necessarily a temptation, if she were a temptation she would probably not be alone. ”

“ MEN will pretend to understand things that they don’t and women will pretend not to understand things that they do.
IF MEN could read women’s thoughts publishers would die of starvation.
A MAN keeps a woman’s love by making promises he can’t keep; a woman keeps a man’s love by refusing to make promises she can keep.
33 THEY say that one way to continue to enjoy dinners for two after marriage is to have breakfast for one. ”

“ WHAT a woman’s eyes tell a man, and what his own eyes tell him is all he can ever hope to know about her.
40 A MAN sometimes wants to be alone to be alone, but if a woman wants to be alone it is to be alone with someone.
EVERYONE has his own particular way of making an ass of himself and if your method is peculiar enough you are snap-shotted for the halfpenny press—and that is fame. ”

“ SOME MEN consider marriage an unnecessary expense, and some men simply won’t consider it at all.
MANY a woman has waited patiently for years until the man could afford to marry her, and then he won’t wait patiently for five minutes while she puts her hat on.
FLIRTATION and office work are the oil and water which the devil sometimes tempts a man to attempt to mix.
20 PEOPLE who allow their character to be diluted by other people’s opinions are naturally weak.
IT IS ONLY a very great man who, in a higher position, does not look small to the man down below. ”

“ NO WOMAN with real beauty ever had false modesty.
WHEN a man has money to burn the chronic borrower is a match for him.
SOME people who boast of not wearing their heart on their sleeve probably know that if they did it would give them a most awfully shabby appearance.
88 MOST women look better on a cushioned couch than on a pedestal, and certainly feel more at home.
WHEN a woman wants a man to love her it does not necessarily mean that she loves him; it probably means that some other woman loves him. ”

“ WOMEN are always asking questions and men are always inventing answers—and women are none the wiser.
17 GOODNESS is only a relative term, and one that is always on the tongue of relatives.
A WOMAN’S accounts of how she spent ‘the house money’ are only equalled in inventive genius by a man’s accounts of how he spent his time. ”

“ FEW MEN are quite so intolerable as the eulogies of the women who love them make them out to be.
91 A WOMAN loses her illusions at just about the same time as she loses her looks.
THE TRUE test is not whether a man behaves like a gentleman, but whether he misbehaves like one. ”

“ ONE’S friends are divided into two classes, those one knows because one must and those one knows because one mustn’t.
60 THERE are some men whose very insolence is flattery to a woman, while even the flattery of others is insulting. ”

“ MOST PEOPLE are only caricatures of their own possibilities.
46 47 MEN do not try to escape temptations; their only fear is that some temptation should escape them.
48 THE WORLD is logical and ruthless in its conclusions; it says that if a man is not worth any money he is worthless, and that if a man is worth £100,000 he is worthy.
INFIDELITY is, very occasionally, the greatest compliment a man can pay a woman.
THE WOMAN who bares her shoulders usually has a larger following than the woman who bares her soul.
IT IS IMPOSSIBLE to study life and your husband as well. ”

“ SOME people seem to think that a reputation for wit is to be gained by saying what they think; they forget that it is necessary first of all to think wittingly.
56 A LOVE affair that never ends is one that has been interrupted.
A WOMAN may have her price yet someone is always ready to give her away.
THE one that does not come out of a love affair well is the one that gets left in.
LOVE is a thirst that one cannot quench without becoming intoxicated.
57 IF YOU start making a man give up things you are almost sure to end by being one of the things he gives up. ”

“ ALL BEAUTIFUL things are created for and destroyed by women.
23 IF A HUSBAND leaves his wife alone ten to one someone else won’t.
YOU CAN’T be even acquainted with love without becoming intimate.
THERE never was a woman so fast that man could not keep pace with her.
NO MATTER how orderly she is by nature it is a mistake for a woman to be always putting her husband in his place.
24 IF A MAN is free to do what he likes he does it; and if he is not free—he does it just the same.
THE potentialities of a strong silent man are nothing to the potentialities of a weak talkative woman. ”

“ THE LESS women care about clothes the more clothes they wear.
52 MEN ARE capable of the most marvellous self-sacrifice; a man will even give up the woman he loves because he cannot afford to keep both a wife and a motor. ”

“ HOME comforts are things that are always sent to people away from home; those at home have to put up with the discomforts.
GOOD women are nearly always jealous of bad women—and they have every reason to be.
68 A MAN is really capable if he can successfully mix his wines and keep his women friends apart.
A MAN does not love a woman because she is a good house-keeper, but he is quite likely to unlove her because she is a bad one. ”

“ IF YOU can’t get rid of a man any other way—marry him.
41 IF YOU want people to take your hand put it in your pocket.
MEN all lie to women—in order to win them, in order to lose them, or sometimes only in order to comfort them.
ONE imagines that the reason some people are so keen on getting married is that you can’t get divorced till you are married.
EVERYONE goes everywhere now-a-days; it is very tiresome, because it makes it almost impossible to see life without being seen. ”

“ ONE of the most adorable rules of life is always to put off till to-morrow what you are obliged to do to-day.
GOOD habits are generally affectations or obesity cures and bad habits are often one’s sole plea to personality. ”

“ WOMAN has proved that she can take a man’s place among men. But she will never be able to take a man’s place among women.
EVERYONE has been young once, most women are young about three times.
MANY a woman tries to cheer herself up with the thought that her husband would be sorry if she died.
65 A WOMAN has to choose between being an episode and being a nuisance. ”

“ NOTHING in this world is compromising until it is found out.
43 THE only way to close some people’s mouths is to fill them.
IT IS extraordinary how marriage changes a man—towards the woman he has married.
A GREAT scandal is generally the public version of a great secret.
RICH FRIENDS are a great expense; one is so apt to live beyond their means.
44 IF A WOMAN expresses admiration for another woman, either she does not admire her or her husband does not.
A MAN will forgive a woman for not being there when he wanted her, but never for being there when he did not want her. ”

“ A MAN’S ‘for ever’ is just about as long as a woman’s ‘five minutes.’
SOME PEOPLE drain the cup of life, and others stick to a medicine glass.
10 IT TAKES a clever man to write a good love letter, but only a fool would do it. ”

“ SOME women are capable of doing anything for the man they love, others make the man they love capable of doing anything.
IT IS NOT as a rule until a woman should really be in the past tense that she becomes intense at all. ”

“ WOMEN have been the same through all the ages: the only difference between a girl and her mother is their feeling for her father.
6 IT IS difficult for a man to understand that a woman who would go through hell for love of him is capable of leaving him because he clears his throat or uses a toothpick.
NOTHING unites people like a common sorrow, except, perhaps, a vulgar joke. ”

“ WHAT a woman costs and what she is worth are two entirely different things.
AMBITIONS vary: Men may want to do well, women may want to look well, but the old only want to sleep well.
A WOMAN cares most for a man when their love affair is over, a man cares most for a woman before their love affair has begun.
9 EVERYONE likes to be run after, but the difference between men and women is that men do not want to be caught and women do.
A WOMAN who can bear to hear her husband praise another woman is either different to other wives or indifferent to her husband. ”

“ THERE are people who read books, look at cathedrals and commit sins merely to provide themselves with topics of conversation.
A MAN’S sense of honour is a very delicate mechanism and apt to get out of order if brought too near a pretty woman.
89 WOMAN is the eternal question, and man is the answer to it.
PEOPLE will tell you that they never do what they are ashamed of, when what they really mean is that they are never ashamed of what they do. ”

“ THERE ARE three stages in a man’s infatuation for a woman: making his way, having his way, and going his way.
IT IS THE MAN who has no right who generally comforts the woman who has wrongs.
WOMEN who are the easiest to win are always the most difficult to lose. ”

“ IF A WOMAN speaks without thinking, she may perhaps say what she really thinks.
90 A MAN who will come and go at a woman’s word invariably has to go once oftener than he comes.
TO LOOK WELL DRESSED is a matter of technique; to look well undressed requires natural gifts.
A WOMAN should exercise the greatest care in the choice of the men she allows to love her, for by the quality of her lovers the quality of her attractions will be judged. ”

“ NO ONE has anything but contempt for the world’s opinion of them—unless it is a really good one.
IT IS hard to say which is the more to be pitied, a man with an ugly, unattractive wife he does not care for or the man with a pretty fascinating wife whom he does care for. ”