Various

“ A bully Bottom of the old, allowed sort, makes up his face—even as the rustic wag of a horse-collar—to goggle and grin; and is as like to the sweet bully of Phelps—bears the same relation in art to the Bottom of Sadler's Wells—as the sign-post portrait on the village green to a head, vital by a few marvellous dots and touches of Richard Doyle. ”

“ A sun of spring gilds with his young rays the boughs of the noble trees that like a scarf of green velvet border this so delicious promenade. These good Parisians, veritable children of light and heat, sit at tables outside the Coffee of Paris and the Coffee of the Cardinal, and, refreshed by floods of sugar-and-water, play the national game of dominoes. Cigars, fabricated of a tobacco denied to our sterile soil, regale the nostrils with their astonishing perfume. Young and beautiful ladies, dressed with an extreme elegance, attract upon themselves admiring regards. ”

“ Then look at the shirt-collar! It is a high linen wall, behind which the face is securely protected from the sharp, cutting winds that are continually flying about our climate, like so many aërial guillotines. One's head would infallibly be chopped off, cleaner than any head of asparagus, if it were not for some such protection; and besides, we should not find fault with our young men if they do try to hide as much as they can of their beautiful features. You may be sure they only do it out of charity to the ladies! ”

“ Nothing, according to the noble lord, will soon be wanting to Manchester to make it emphatically the Bright City; nothing but—as Punch opines—a little public spirit. "The Turk may go hang so that he buys our goods." "Liberty in its highest sense, is the liberty to buy and sell." "The worst worldly evil is a bad shilling." A few of these maxims do certainly still defile the moral atmosphere of Manchester, cleansed as the air inhaled may be from the reek of cesspools. Mr. Bright's hat, though covering a large, cool head, is nevertheless not big enough to extinguish the turban of Turkey. ”

“ Under the potent influence of hot water the traveller gradually returns to his usual serenity. The bravos of Dover, the exhibitions of weakness on board the steamer, the bureaucratic tediousness of the douaniers, the insolence of the police, the jolting over the pavé, the interminable flights of stairs, all fade from his memory as he simmers into a happier and more tranquil world of thought. ”

“ Every novelty we have is due to her restless creative spirit. In arts, in letters, in philosophy, she scatters abroad new ideas with unsparing profusion; other nations, following with unequal steps, treasure up what falls, and claim it as their own. This exuberance of fancy is only the result of the universal artistic feeling which seems to animate her citizens. You cannot go anywhere in Paris without being conscious of this. Every shop window is a picture. Look at that pastrycook's. A few pieces of china and half-a-dozen bon-bon boxes form a composition that is really charming. ”

“ More flaring gas-lights, like a butcher's shop on Saturday night; more picturesque mounted swordsmen—the Brougham pulls up, and we alight amid the respectful congratulations of the officials. We mount the stairs in company of masks, dominoes, and persons in ordinary evening dress, and pass into the Salle.
The effect is bewildering, overwhelming. The theatre is open to the uttermost back wall, and, even so, barely holds the multitude of dancers. The orchestra is probably the noisiest in the world, but is nothing to the astounding din of the people. ”

“ Directly a clown becomes too fat to tumble, or too stupid to play the fool in the ordinary way, he adopts the name of "Shaksperian" and bores the public with long lectures, which he fancies may be received as instructive, because they happen to be the very opposite of entertaining—- just as if a man ceasing to be an amusing fool must of necessity become a philosopher.
The "clown to the ring" is, in fact, becoming a perfect nuisance: and we only wonder that the horses do not become low-spirited by contrast with those dreadfully dull dogs who wear the motley. ”

“ Yes: the last knowledge a woman ever acquires is a proper sense of the power of her own beauty. Otherwise, Lotty, they'd never throw it away upon us; but live and die like the roses. Don't you think they would? Like the roses?"
I said nothing, but was just gently pulling his ear, when the church bells struck out.
"If it isn't church-time," said I; "but I'm drest. Nothing, but my bonnet."
"Well, Lotty, you can go without me; yes, you"—and then he paused, and looked at me, I thought so strangely, and said—"no, my love: you shall not go alone. We'll go together." ”

“ It is a mind of colours, but colours without any union, or harmonious combination—giving one the notion of an Irish rainbow, in which all the hues had quarrelled, and resolved to live apart. Nothing is too broad for it, like a Palais Royal farce. Its legs are scored like a leg of pork—only the scoring is fearful in length, so that nothing can wipe it out, like the debts a young man runs up at college. ”

“ It is really sad to think that in an age which prides itself on common sense, and at a Court confessedly adorned by the many virtues of the Sovereign and her family, conventionalism still holds such sway, that one whom it is no flattery to call an ornament to her high position still feels herself under the necessity of converting a solemn religious ceremony into a vulgar display of luxury and vanity. ”

“ The fact is that the Commissioners of Sewers have such grand ideas that execution is impossible. The imagination of the Commissioners riots in such a sea of sullage, that nothing short of an arched avalanche of refuse water presents itself to the minds of the functionaries who will not stoop to anything short of an aqueduct, and consequently have souls above the making of a common useful drain. Everything must be on such a scale of grandeur, that unless London can be altogether excavated a few serviceable pipes cannot be laid down. ”

“ Really the Conscience Money Mania is becoming quite a nuisance. Every day, almost, the Times contains some such announcement as this:—
"The Chancellor of the Exchequer acknowledges the receipt of half-notes value £15, for unpaid Income Tax."
A good healthy conscience is the noblest point in the character of that noblest work of creation—an honest man. But a diseased conscience is as bad as a rotten potato; it is worse than no conscience at all: some degrees below mere dishonesty. This kind of conscience makes people pay omitted Income Tax. ”

“ Why not throw the British Museum open every day, except on the few days when it may be necessary, if it is necessary, that artists should have it all to themselves—like the National Gallery? What good do the statues, the stuffed animals, the antiquities, and the mummies do half their time, wasting their sweetness on the desert—or at least the vacant—air? ”

“ As you go to bed, without the fever that arises from a heavy dinner with beer, Port, and Sherry, you may reflect that you have not been bored for a single instant of the day, and contrast with your own case the unutterable misery of the stranger without friends or a club, who is condemned to pass his time in London. ”

“ Is it credible that there should be educated men in the present day who yearn after these barbarisms, and have no sympathy with the struggles made by subsequent artists to get free from their influence? And that clergymen should put up copies of the same in our churches, and almost anathematise as heathens those who prefer better drawing? This period is the very winter of art, and the next is the spring, all life and freshness and beauty. We cannot but here remember the young painters in England who have borrowed a name, if not a principle, from the times before Raphael. ”

“ Forty years ago, I confess, when we had no intercourse with your charming Paris, they would have received it with delight at the first theatre of the King. But now they know too much; and any of our writers who should set himself to laugh at the grand nation without careful and candid observation of them in their own country, would be only making himself ridiculous. Now the more a traveller becomes familiar with the people amongst whom he lives, the less occasion he finds to smile at their peculiarities. ”

“ But once more, leave out of the question that which we have nothing to do with. We are speaking as men of business. It's all very well to cant out of doors about "one law for the rich and another for the poor," and to say that "Jack Jones has as much right to bet his half-crown on Joe Miller, as Lord Battleaxe has to bet his thousand pounds on Hydaspes", but that trash is of no use here. Rich and poor has nothing to do with the matter, except that you do your best to make the rich poor and the poor poorer. ”

“ WITH that spirit of zealous self-sacrifice which becomes his office, your Correspondent has visited the great masqued ball at the Opera, that terminates the festivities of the Carnival. He was accompanied by the rising diplomatist George Ernest Clarence Protocol, whose filmy white choker, pink shirt, opal studs, and shining boots were truly an honour to his country. At one o'clock his Brougham whirled us rapidly to the theatre. The streets were alive with people. A masqued ball is a fête for those who can't go as well as for those who can. ”

“ Cobden does not drink spirits; but, moderately, he drinks wine—wine that cheereth the heart of man? Will he, then, do his best that the masses of his countrymen may take a glass with him? The wine-growers of France want to sell us pure, cheap, healthy wine—wine that would soon destroy burning gin, inflammatory brandy. France needs iron, England claret. Will Mr. Cobden, if only as an apostle of peace, help us, that we may exchange British metal for Gallic grape? We should like to drive the English "pig" into the French vineyard. ”

“ Because, if Prince Albert has not a monument in bronze to remind the short memory of human nature that there was once a Crystal Palace in Hyde Park, the recollection of that great fact, being a "thing solid," will gradually sink down into the waters of oblivion. Just as, doubtless, we should have forgotten Waterloo and its results, if certain ladies of England had not set up a statue of Wellington acting Achilles in Hyde Park. ”

“ The theatre has been gorgeously re-decorated and overlaid with a profusion of gold, which stands out in all the bold effrontery of gilt beneath the blaze of a thousand gaslights. Even the members of the orchestra are elaborately got up, and though not absolutely bound hand and foot at the will of the Emperor, they are literally taken by the throat, for they are compelled to appear in white neckcloths. Every instrumental performer must become a member of the stiff-necked fraternity if he wishes to be engaged at the Grand Opéra ”

“ They knew that a gent of fashionable exterior and elegant manners was nigh likewise. If he was obliged to consume his own smoke, how could he continue to diffuse fragrance in society? He identified himself with the party of smokers; as he was a smoking party himself. If smoke was such a nuisance, why did they make so much the other day at the review at Spithead? Let them put that question in their pipe—and, he would add, smoke it. Talking of pipes, he would tell Palmerston that his idea of a chimney consuming its own smoke was a mere sham. ”

“ But the less we talk about the appearance of our dingy city the better; we must forget Trafalgar Square and its monuments, and console ourselves with our pavement, our drainage, and our comfortable firesides.
The sun shines cheerfully, the air is pure, and the philosopher enters the Champs Elysées in a state of serene enjoyment, proposing to study the manners of the great nation. He observes an ancient man by the wayside in tattered garments, who plays soft tunes on a bass trombone. ”

“ If a Caffre chooses to take a walk in the Park, or anywhere else, he has a perfect right to do so, if he does not break the law by tomahawking the public, or any other "native" eccentricity. The "proprietor" seemed to feel himself rather aggrieved that he could not dispose of the Caffres in any way he pleased, but it would be rather too absurd, that the principle of slavery and absolute control over the person of a human being should be recognised for the benefit of an individual who has speculated in the attraction of savage yells and barbarian antics. ”

“ In the meanwhile, can he ever pass Bedlam, without a tender feeling for the future destiny of his footmen and coachman?
Certain civic enthusiasts glorify Lord Sidney for the grandeur that seems to be intended as a fine defiance—like a gilt lion—of the Corporation Commission. The cause for which Sidney bleeds in his tailor's bill is, no doubt, a cause very dear to aldermen and councilmen; and it is expected that, emulating his Lordship, they will on the present ninth—as it may be the last show—die gloriously; dying like dolphins in surpassing colours. ”