Ass

“ The ancient Romans declared that "One ass rubs another," a lesson in mutual help. When a coward boasts what great things he will do, or a fool assumes the philosopher, "An ass in a lion's skin" is suggested—from the fable that an ass once decking himself in the skin of the lion, was so elated at the terror he created that he could not forbear braying his delight, a performance which entirely altered the whole complexion of things and the animal stood revealed, the mere ass that he really was. ”

“ The ass is fair of shape and of disposition while he is young and tender, or he pass into age. For the elder the ass is, the fouler he waxeth from day to day, and hairy and rough, and is a melancholy beast, that is cold and dry, and is therefore kindly heavy and slow, and unlusty, dull and witless and forgetful. Nathless he beareth burdens, and may away with travail and thraldom, and useth vile meat and little, and gathereth his meat among briars and thorns and thistles.... And the ass hath another wretched condition known to nigh all men. ”

“ The ass is then an ass, and not a horse degenerated; a horse with a naked tail. The ass is neither a stranger, an intruder, nor a bastard; he has like all other animals, his family, his species, and his rank; his blood is pure and untainted, and although his race is less noble, yet it is equally good, equally ancient, with that of the horse. Why then is there so much contempt for an animal so good, [194] so patient, so steady, and so useful? Do men despise, even among animals, those which serve them best and at the smallest expence? ”

“ Sometimes he was passing through a crowded street with baskets full of bread or wine, when he would shout: "Make way for the ass!" And if anyone should say that he did not see any ass, he would answer: "Do you not know that I am the Capuchins' ass?" ”

“ B. "Come, come, you show ill-breeding, sir, I ween; 'T is like an ass your master thus to scorn." R. He is an ass, will die an ass, an ass was born; Why, he's in love; what's what's plainer to be seen?" ”

“ The ass, or young man—I cannot tell by which name I should term him—being many times repelled, and understanding their words that called him ass, considering that he could speak never a word and yet could understand everybody, he thought that he was bewitched by the woman at whose house he was. And therefore, when by no means he could get into the boat, but was driven to tarry and see her departure, being also beaten from place to place as an ass, he remembered the witch's [137] words, and the words of his own fellows that called him ass, and returned to the witch's house ”

“ For instance, I think those authors are right, who maintain that the ass has a prepotent power over the horse, so that both the mule and the hinny more resemble the ass than the horse; but that the prepotency runs more strongly in the male-ass than in the female, so that the mule, which is the offspring of the male-ass and mare, is more like an ass, than is the hinny, which is the offspring of the female-ass and stallion. ”

“ Quentin about 1081, at Béthune in 1474, and at Laon in 1527, and the Mosburg description of the ‘bishop’ as asinorum dominus, are all the cases I have found in which an ass has anything to do with the feast. But they are enough to prove that an ass was an early and widespread, though not an invariable feature. I may quote here a curious survival in a ronde from the west of France, said to have been sung at church doors on January 1 [1162] . ”

“ Thus have you heard how the ass was found by means of a clyster; it is a manifest fact, and one that often happens.
STORY THE EIGHTIETH — GOOD MEASURE! 80 By Michault De Changy.
Of a young German girl, aged fifteen or sixteen or thereabouts who was married to a gentle gallant, and who complained that her husband had too small an organ for her liking, because she had seen a young ass of only six months old which had a bigger instrument than her husband, who was 24 or 26 years old. ”

“ The wild ass is as large as an average mule, with well-developed ears, and a sharp sense of hearing; his tail is tufted at the end, and he is reddish-brown in colour, except on the legs and belly, where he is white. When he scents danger he snorts loudly, throws up his head, cocks his ears, and expands his nostrils; he is more like a fine [Pg 127] ass than a horse, but when you see him wild and free on the salt plains of Tibet, the difference between him and an ass seems even greater than between an ass and a horse. ”

“ AN ass's hoof alone can hold
That poisonous juice, which kills by cold.
Methought, when I this poem read,
No vessel but an ass's head
Such frigid fustian could contain;
I mean, the head without the brain. ”

“ From the myth of the ass, as a musician and judge of music, is derived the Tuscan game of the ass, which is thus described by Signor Fanfani in his Vocabolario dell' Uso Tuscano, Firenze, 1863:—"Each member of the party chooses an animal whose voice or song he must imitate. The head player represents the ass, and is the king of the other animals. When the head player, sitting in the middle, calls one of the animals who encircle him, the dog, for instance, this animal must bark; when he calls the cock, it must cry chicchiricù; when he calls the ox, he who represents it must bellow, and so on. ”

“ Notwithstanding the superiority this animal maintains over the ass, from the elegance of his figure, and beauty of colours, yet he appears to be somewhat of the same species, for almost all travellers have given it the name of striped ass, from being struck at the first sight with his having a greater resemblance to the ass than the horse ”

“ If we read it as we would any similar piece, any other fable in which men and beasts speak to each other, we should say that there were some elements of the ludicrous [Pg 64] in the picture of the prophet rebuked by his ass. “And the ass saw the angel of the Lord standing in the way, and his sword drawn in his hand; and the ass turned aside out of the way and went into the field. And Balaam smote the ass to turn her into the way.” Just what any one would do to a “shying” animal, upon impulse. ”

“ Naturalists have frequently remarked the extraordinary dimensions of an ass’s heart, which is thought an indication of courage; and it is the custom of the peasantry of some countries to make their children wear a piece of ass’s skin about their person. The ass’s skin is peculiarly valuable, both for the manufacture of writing-tablets and drums; which may be the reason why a dead ass is so rarely seen. ”

“ The courage and persistence of the ass has made her as famous in war as in literature. She is a marked feature everywhere in military stations, alike in the camp and the field, and her bray always in the minor key, gives a touch of pathos to the music of the band! The ass accompanied Deborah and Barak when they went to fight their great battle, she has gone with pioneers in all their weary wanderings, and has taken an active part in the commerce of the world, bearing the heaviest burdens though poorly fed and sheltered. ”

“ An ass once had the golden image of the Goddess Isis set on his back, and he was led through the streets of a city in Egypt. Then the Egyptians fell down on their faces and worshipped, and raised their hands in supplication. The ass was puffed up with pride, and began to prick up his ears and prance. Then the driver brought down his stick upon his back, and said, "You ass! the honour is given not to you, but to what you bear." There is many a man who is no less elated by his position, or by some good fortune that falls to him, than this ass. ”

“ If he reads my little book when his liver is out of order, or in winter fogs and colds—he will call me an ass, and I must bear it. If he is in a cheerful mood himself, then we shall agree very well together. ”

“ Adulterer, thief, murderer, coveter of your neighbor’s ass—
Photographer. Ladies and gentlemen, an ass!
Second Photographer. Where, where is an ass?
Photographer (calmed) . I thought I heard one.
Second Photographer. It is you who are an ass. I have become cross-eyed on account of your shouting: “An ass! An ass!”
Mary (wearily) . Papa, children, look! A policeman is coming.
(Excitement and noise. On one side a crowd pulling a policeman, on the other the hotel keeper; both keep crying: “Excuse me! Excuse me!”)
Tourist. Policeman, there he is, the fakir, the swindler. ”

“ On reaching the field, the pony was found looking into the river, where the colt was drowned.
THE ASS.
When the ass is brought into comparison with the horse, in respect to external form, every thing appears to be in favor of the latter animal. The ass is inferior to the horse in size, less sprightly in its motions, its head is heavy, and it stoops in its gait. The horse generally moves with its head erect, looks freely abroad on the skies and earth, with an eye expressive of lively emotions. The ass is seen trudging slowly along, as if sensible of the hopelessness of a cessation from toil ”

“ The ass is not so silly as to be frightened by the reflection of its ears. If it drinks merely with its lips, without plunging its nose into the water, it is because, like the cat, it fears getting wet. ”

“ Now, the curious thing is this, that although you have the same elements in the experiment in each case, the offspring is entirely different in character, according as the male influence comes from the ass or the horse. Where the ass is the male, as in the case of the mule, you find that the head is like that of the ass, that the ears are long, the tail is tufted at the end, the feet are small, and the voice is an unmistakable bray ”

“ The following is a pleasing anecdote of the sagacity of the ass, and the attachment displayed by the animal to his master. Thomas Brown travelled in England as a pedler, having an ass the partner of his trade. From suffering under paralysis, he was in the habit of assisting himself on the road by keeping hold of the crupper of the saddle, or more frequently the tail of the ass. During a severe winter some years ago, whilst on one of his journeys, the old man and his ass were suddenly plunged into a wreath of snow. There they lay far from help, and ready to perish. ”

“ The inhabitants of some of the Eastern countries make of asses' skin the substance called sagri or shagreen. At Astracan, and throughout Persia, there are great manufactories of this article. It is not naturally granulated; this roughness being altogether effected by art. Of the bones of the ass the ancients are said to have made their best sounding flutes.
114. The Mule, or mixed produce betwixt the ass and the mare, is a very hardy and useful animal. Its size is larger, its head and ears smaller, and its coat smoother than those of the ass. ”

“ In all countries, this sure-footed and faithful animal is adopted as an emblem of stupidity, from the patience with which it submits to punishment and endures privation. A pair of ass's ears is inflicted upon a child [Pg 117] in reproof of his duncehood; and through life we hear every blockhead of our acquaintance called an ass. ”

“ There is nothing rarer, swifter, or more beautiful than an ass of this kind. This one retorted on the rustic for his thrashing by kicks which might have uprooted an oak. The young Mirza very naturally took the ass's part, for it was a beautiful beast. The peasant ran off, crying out to the ass: "I will pay you out yet!" The ass thanked its liberator after its fashion, went up to him, fawned on him, and received his caresses.
Having dined, Rustem mounted him, and took the road to Cashmere with his servants, some on foot and some riding the elephant. ”

“ O, my!' he gasped, as he panted along, 'what an ass I am! What a conceited and heedless ass! Swaggering again! Shouting and singing songs again! Sitting still and gassing again! ”

“ Though religious instruction be whispered in the ears of an ass nothing will come of it but the accustomed braying. கழுதைக்கு வாழ்க்கைப்பட்டு உதைக்கு அஞ்சலாமா? Having married an ass, do you fear his kicking? கழுதை மேல் ஏறி என்ன, இறங்கி என்ன? What matters it whether you mount an ass, or alight from one? }கழுதைமேல் ஏறியும் பெருமை இல்லை, இறங்கியும் சிறுமை இல்லை. Though you may ride on an ass, you gain no honour, nor are you disgraced by dismounting. ”

“ If some father had characterized his son, sunk in ignorance and filthy debauchery, as a hog, a horse, or an ass, and afterwards made him do penance with an ass's cap on his head, and some servant girl of the neighborhood gave it out that this young man had been turned into an ass as a punishment for his faults, her neighbors would repeat it to other neighbors, and from mouth to mouth this story, with a thousand embellishments, would make the tour of the world. ”

“ The ass, like the horse, is three or four years in growing, and lives also like him 25 or 30 years; it is said the female usually lives longer than the male; but, perhaps, this happens from their being often pregnant, and at those times having some care taken of them, instead of which the males are constantly worn out with fatigue and blows. ”

“ An ass is equally pressed by hunger and by thirst; a bundle of hay is on one side, a pail of water on the other. Surely, you will say, he will not be ass enough to die for want of food or drink; he will then make a choice—that is, will choose between alternatives of equal force. ”

“ Mäten ist ein Esel, der zieht die Kuh am Besel.
(B., p. 363.)
"Martin is an ass, he pulls the cow by the tail," that is, "he has no money in his purse."
These various survivals support the view that the ass in Western Europe somehow got mixed up with the birds. When and how this came about is difficult to tell. The representatives of [Pg 199] Christianity were in a position to accept the feast of the ass, since the ass figured largely in the Old and the New Testaments. ”