Various

“ As I was saying, skating soon comes back to—thought I was gone that time! Stick by me, old fellow, till I begin to feel my—Oh, hang it all!... Eh? surely we have been on more than five minutes! Worst of skating is, your feet get so cold!... These are beastly skates. ”

“ Therefore, it is almost a duty, let alone a pleasure, on the part of Parents and Guardians to take the young gentlemen from school, schools public and private, and the young ladies freed awhile from their Governesses, to see Beauty and the Beast at Drury Lane. "Is it a good Pantomime this year?" "That," as Hamlet once observed, though at that particular moment he was not thinking of Pantomimes, nor even of his own capital little drawing-room drama for distinguished amateurs, entitled The Mousetrap, "that is the question." ”

“ That was a totally unmarketable commodity in Reykjavik, as ADAM found to his cost. And in the end intending to shoot MICHAEL they shot FASON. And yet it is perfectly certain that the next chapter of this Saga, had there been a next, would have found all the characters once more in the Isle of Man. For nothing is more surely established than this: that a good (or a bad) Icelander, when he dies (or lives) , goes always to the Isle of Man, and every self-respecting Manxman returns the compliment by going to Iceland. ”

“ HER MAJESTY has further been pleased to confer the honour of Knighthood on several Gentlemen greatly distinguished for their services respectively to Art, Literature, and Science, whose names, however, it is not necessary to mention, but whose labours, had they been rewarded with that financial success that attends the efforts of a pushing and advertising tradesman would, doubtless, have earned them the more becoming dignity of a Peerage. ”

“ Truly a poor man feeleth an amount like this, and hath to deny himself some necessary to preserve his affectionate companion, to wit, his dog. I have taught him, even as one would say, precisely, "thus would I teach a dog." O 'tis a foul thing when a dog cannot keep himself in all companies, but must grub for garbage in the gutter, and yap at constables' kibes! ”

“ These coincidences are absolutely essential in a tale of simple human passions. But, to be short, GREEBA married MICHAEL, who had become First President of the second Icelandic Republic. Thus GREEBA and MICHAEL were at Reykjavik. ”

“ When a man possesses that particular shape of muscle he is sure to be a hard nut to crack. And so poor PATRICKSEN found him, merely getting his own wretched back broken for his trouble. GORGON GORGONSEN Was Governor of Iceland, and lived at Reykjavik, the capital, which was not only little and hungry, but was also a creeping settlement with a face turned to America. ”

“ The Fond Mother (from bank, to Children on the ice) . That's right, ALMA, you're doing it beautifully—don't walk so much! (To French Governess) , ALMA fay bocoo de progray, may elle ne glisse assez—nayse par, Ma'amzell?
Mademoiselle. C'est ELLA qui est la plus habile, elle patine déjà très bien—et avec un aplomb! ”

“ If you're goin' to strap me up as toight as all that, I shell 'ave to go to bed in them skites!... Well, what is it now?
"Look here! This is rather a pretty figure."
Skate-Fastener. Reglar thing fur Gen'lm'n as 'ires skates ter leave somethink be'ind, jest as security like—anythink'll do—a gold watch and chain, if yer got sech a thing about yer!
The C.C. Oh, I dessay—not me!
Skate-F. (wounded) . Why, yer needn't be afroid! I shorn't run away—you'll find me 'ere when yer come back!
The C.C. Ah, that will be noice! But all the sime, a watch is a thing as slips out of mind so easy, yer know. ”

“ When a poor man's cur shall cost him some thirteen shillings and sixpence within the year, look you, it goes hard; one that I brought up as a puppy; one of a mongrel litter that I saved from drowning, when three or four of his blind, breedless brothers and sisters went to it. Verily I will write to the Standard thereanent. Item—muzzle, two shillings; item—collar, under new order, two shillings and sixpence; item—engraving collar, under new order, one shilling and sixpence; item—licence, seven shillings and sixpence; total, thirteen shillings and sixpence, as aforesaid. ”

“ We must introduce the Ambassador in a semi-official way."
POLITE JUDGMENT.—A correspondence has been going on in the St. James's Gazette as to what six Gentlemen seated in a first class railway carriage ought to do if a Lady insists on thrusting herself upon them. Truth says, let her stand, unless she has been invited, and adds, that anyhow she, as an extra person, is a nuisance. Mr. Punch agrees with a difference, and says that the uninvited intruder who becomes a standing nuisance ought to be put down—by somebody giving her a seat. ”

“ And if the porochial dignity's floored, what is left to stand steady?
Progressists, indeed! Ah, I'd "progress" 'em, pack o' perposterous hasses,
A regular pollyglot lot, breeding strife 'twixt the classes and masses.
The masses is muck ”

“ Would a Spirit Rapper be accepted for the first? and a man who had got a stitch in his side for the second? As for the third, there are so many people sold at Christmas time, that to provide a few men for sale would be no very difficult task. ”

“ Let "all concerned in this" excellent piece of Christmas merriment accept the congratulations and best wishes for crowded houses—which they are sure to be for all the Matinées—from theirs truly, MR. P.'S FIRST COMMISSIONER.
GREAT DISAPPOINTMENT.—Sir FRANCIS SANDFORD has created a profound feeling of disappointment among all classes of society by not having added, "and Merton," to his title. "Lord SANDFORD OF SANDFORD" is weak ”

“ Has summoned, must leave at the moment the sight of the friendly sun.
He's a kindly man, with a cheerful voice, but he never brooks delay
When once he has come and been introduced in a semi-official way. ”

“ A Paternal Skate-Fastener. 'Ere you are, Missie—set down on this 'ere cheer—and you, too, my little dear—lor, they won't do them cheers no 'arm, Mum, bless their little 'arts! Lemme tyke yer little skites orf, my pooties. I'll be keerful, Mum—got childring o' my own at 'ome—the moral o' your two, Mum!
The F.M. (to Governess) . Sayt un homme avec un bong ker. Avez-vous—er—des cuivres, Ma'amzell?
The P.S. (disgustedly) . Wot?—on'y two bloomin' browns fur tykin' the skites orf them two kids' trotters! I want a shellin' orf o' you fur that job, I do ... "Not another penny"? ”