Various

“ By the way, was that play, After Dark, or was it The Streets of London? I really forget which. Then, all the characters in the new play are absolutely new and original. The hero who will bear everything for his alleged wife's sake, and weeps over his child, is quite new. So is the heroine who takes up her residence with poor but amusing showmen, instead of wealthy relatives. That is also quite new, and there was nothing like it in The Lights o' London. The villain, too, who will do and dare anything (in reason) to wed the lady who has secured his affections, is also a novelty. ”

“ Now he rested on the back of a treacherous porpoise that soon cast him away.
"Will the steamboat lend him a helping hand, or rather rope?" muttered the veteran salt, as he watched the seemingly fragile figure of the swimmer. "Ah, by Neptune! well done! Strike me flat with a lubberly marling-spike, but a kindly act indeed!"
The action that had extorted the admiration of the aged seaman was a rope that had been thrown over the steamboat's bulwarks. The now weary swimmer gratefully accepted the boon. It saved his life. ”

“ Although as cold as stone, owing to the exposure to the waves, the swimmer was now refreshed. He threw away the rope, and once more struck out.
"Adieu!" he cried to the crew of the steamboat. "I can finish the rest of the distance without assistance."
He was as good as his word. Soon he was standing on French ground buying a post-card for India.
"And why have you come in this strange fashion?" asked an aged missionary of British extraction.
The weary lad replied in a faint voice, "Because at Calais a post-card to India costs a penny, at Dover twopence! ”

“ Assured by the villain of the piece that she is not really married to Cuthbertson, Wife No. 2 prepares to marry her informant. The nuptials are about to be celebrated in the Chapel Royal, Savoy, when enter Wife No. 1 who explains that she was a married woman when she met Cuthbertson, and therefore, a fair, or rather unfair, bigamist. Upon this Cuthbertson (who is conveniently near in a pew, wearing the unpretentious uniform of the Royal Horse Artillery) , rushes into the arms of the lady who has erroneously been numbered Wife No. 2, when she has been in reality Wife No. 1, and all is joy. ”

“ For instance, unlike The Lights o' London, there is a caravan and a showman. Next, unlike In the Ranks, there are scenes of barrack-life that are full of freshness and originality. In Harbour Lights, if my memory does not play me false, the hero enlisted in the Guards, in The Trumpet Call he joins the Royal Horse Artillery. ”

“ After which, being rather proud of his mastery of Cockneyisms, he changes the accent, still singing, "Blaass the Prince of WAILES!" which he considers his chef d'oeuvre as an imitation of a genuine Cockney tone, to which it bears exactly such resemblance as does a scene of ordinary London life drawn by a French artist. Then he says, seriously—"Eh bien! allons! C'est fixé—it is fixed. We meet Victoria, et alors, par London, Chatham & Dover, from Reims viâ Calais, très bien,—train d'onze heures précises,—bien entendu. J'y suis. Ihr Diener! Adios! ”

“ The date to which I refer was the 1st of August last, when "a new and original drama," entitled The Trumpet Call, was produced at the Royal Adelphi Theatre, and the two exceptions to the general rule then proclaimed were Messrs. GEORGE R. SIMS and ROBERT BUCHANAN, its authors. The plot of this truly new and original piece is simple in the extreme. Cuthbertson, a young gentleman, has married his wife in the belief that his Wife No. 1 (of whom he has lost sight) , is dead. Having thus ceased to be a widower, Cuthbertson is confronted by Wife No. 1 and deserts Wife No. 2. ”

“ Belgian Driver (to his horses) . Pullep! Allez vîte! Bom-bom-bom! Alright!
Conductor (to CULCHARD) . 'E's very proud of 'is English, 'e is. 'Ere, JEWLS, ole feller, show the gen'lm'n 'ow yer can do a swear. (Belgian Driver utters a string of English imprecations with the utmost fluency and good-nature.) 'Ark at 'im now! Bust my frogs! (Admiringly, and not without a sense of the appropriateness of the phrase.) But he's a caution, Sir, ain't he? I taught him most o' what he knows!
A French Passenger (to Conductor) . Dis done, mon ami, est-ce qu'on peut voir d'ici le champ de bataille? ”

“ To welcome his guests Father NEPTUNE's delighted,
He'll clasp both their paws,
And drink deep to the Cause
Of Sailors as shipmates and Neighbours United!
Old NEP is "At Home" to the Sailors of France.
Old foes turn new friends as their reason grows riper ”

“ So is a character played by Miss CLARA JECKS as only Miss CLARA JECKS can and does play it. And there are many more equally bright and fresh, and, in a word, original.
So, my dear Mr. Punch, hasten to the Royal Adelphi Theatre, if you wish to see something that will either wake you up or send you to sleep. Go, my dear Mr. Punch, and sit out The Trumpet Call, and when you have seen it, you will understand why I sign myself,
Yours faithfully,
ONE WHO HAS SEEN NOTHING LIKE IT BEFORE.
"FRENCH AS SHE IS SPOKE."
From Admiral Gervais to My Lor' Maire. ”

“ Turn which way I will, I am under the screw.
Every Voter must feel a tight clutch on the throat
Of my conscience—poor thing!—ere he'll promise his vote.
PAT late was my patron,—'twas only his fun!
Now he's "three single gentlemen" not rolled in one.
There's PARNELL, MACARTHY, and SAUNDERSON! Phew!
If I partly please one, I make foemen of two.
Hang Ireland! And Scotland is getting as bad.
The S.H.R.A. will insist on their fad ”

“ They can tell jolly good staggerers they can! Why one on 'em said as how we was a getting so scrowged up in the old Country, that they thort of giving us jest a little slice of theirs, and as theirs was about thirty times as big as ours, they could easily spare it. ”

“ Conductor (with proper pride) . It ain't no use your torkin to me, Mossoo; I don't speak no French myself. (To CULCHARD.) See that field there, Sir?
Culchard (interested) . On the right? Yes, what happened there?
"Leesten, I dell you vonce more."
Cond. Fine lot o' rabbits inside o' there—big fat 'uns. (To another Passenger.) No, Sir, that ain't Belly Lions as you see from 'ere; that's Mon Sin Jeean, and over there Oogymong, and Chalyroy to the left. ”

“ OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. Vol. 101. August 22, 1891.
[pg 85]
THE TRAVELLING COMPANIONS. No. III.
SCENE—On the Coach from Braine l'Alleud to Waterloo. The vehicle has a Belgian driver, but the conductor is a true-born Briton. Mr. CYRUS K. TROTTER and his daughter are behind with PODBURY. CULCHARD, who is not as yet sufficiently on speaking terms with his friend to ask for an introduction, is on the box-seat in front.
Mr. Trotter. How are you getting along, MAUD? Your seat pretty comfortable? ”