Wallace Irwin

“ Hild was plainly indignant. He was going to lose a precious slave that the world might gain a human being. Also the pathetic appeal in Henry's voice incensed him as something unsuitable to the wooden life of a valet.
"Henry," he said, and his voice was not encouraging. "I've looked after you for quite a while, and I think its my duty to tell you the plain truth about yourself. Don't harbor any foolish delusions about life. Do your job and do it well; that's all God or man can ask of you. As a servant you're a dignified, human item; as something else, you'd be a cipher. ”

“ Almost reverentially a menu-card was proffered to this epicure who, although he had frequented Tanquay's only for a matter of six months, had already established his prestige. Pierre's admiration for the man almost rivaled his idealization of that prince of gentlemen, Mr. Norris J. Vanderhuyden, after whom he had named his son and whose brilliant social career he had followed eagerly in newspapers and restaurant gossip. What won the heights of the waiter's regard for Captain Annister was his absolute taste in food and drink. ”

“ I want you to mind Captain Annister and do everything he says. He is the finest gentleman I know, and can teach you all sorts of things which will make me proud of you.
I want your life to be full of happiness, dear boy—not the wrong kind of happiness which will bring you into bad company and low ideas, but the kind that makes you grow straight and not the servant of any man. Take plenty of exercise out of doors, the way the best people do. Learn how to be good to dependents under you without giving in too much. ”

“ There was a terrifying pause as though doom impended for the unrighteous. "I've been thinking your case over," he repeated, "and I've come to the conclusion that I can find the man you want."
"Oh, thank you, Captain!" mumbled Pierre, giddy with the joyful surprise of it.
"You want a gentleman temporarily embarrassed for funds, as you say. One who is used to the world, good living and spending money well, and all that sort of thing." Annister still spoke in that oddly constrained voice.
"Yes sir," replied Pierre eagerly. "He should teach my son how to get on with tiptop families. ”

“ THIS is why Henry Brown, valet, abruptly quit the service of Ronald Hild, actor, for whom he had slaved for nine long years.
Henry, tall, lean, sallow, by race some fashion of cockneyized Latin, came late one night to the great man's dressing-room and revealed the cause of his irritating delay: his wife had brought forth a child a week ahead of expectations. Henry was nervously elated—something different from the doglike servitor Hild had patronized these many seasons.
"We're all in the lap of the gods," said the pompous actor as he penciled his lashes. "Didn't know you were married." ”

“ THE Captain's dinner was short, after the correct tradition of a gentleman about to go to the opera. When coffee was at last drawn from percolator to cup, the head waiter stood by the Captain's chair in an attitude which conveyed something beyond mere professional solicitude. The epicure set down his cup and granted the man at his side a look of approval.
"Excellent!" he said. "The lamb was very good—you might tell Bénoit."
"Thank you, sir," replied Pierre, more gratefully, perhaps, than the compliment required. ”

“ Now, why haven't you got any of it, Brown?"
"I'm only a servant, Tanquay." His voice was tired and sad.
"Only a servant! Why, man alive, don't you know you're the greatest servant in America? Traveling dukes and steel kings and theatrical managers ask for you and wont accept a substitute. In a year, Brown, I don't mind saying it now—there's a chance for you in the partnership."
"In a year?" echoed Pierre, and his voice seemed miles removed. ”

“ His gentle, unobtrusive skill at snubbing subordinates without waste of words, his correct manner of requesting service, his air of breeding and the impression he so effortlessly conveyed of expending the interest from a substantial fortune without the braggadocio of extravagance—these were the merits which caused Pierre to sigh adoringly: "Ah, there's a gentleman!" ”

“ Tanquay resumed. "This is booked to be the biggest season Tanquay's has ever known. Not only are we pulling most of the official banquets away from the other fellows, but society is tagging us for all the swell private dinners—d' you see? Christmas is coming pretty soon, and Santa Claus will have a big bag of tips for you, Brown—more than you ever made in your life. You're not in the game for your health, are you, Brown?"
"I'm educating my son," replied Pierre, coughing feebly. "I want to be able to put aside enough so he can live like a gentleman on the interest. ”

“ To-night or to-morrow or in a week."
"Man alive, you're going to rest!" exclaimed Annister.
"How?" he asked. "Who's able to take my place?"
"There's only one Pierre."
Something almost majestic in the way the man took the compliment astounded Annister.
"Pierre has become a name—capitalized, you might say," the head-waiter agreed quietly. "And I couldn't lay off this week or this month, because they're relying on me to arrange the Norris Vanderhuyden dinner. It will be the greatest job of my life." ”

“ She was not an educated woman, but certainly she was a practical scholar of life; for eight round years after her scornful prophecy, her ambitious spouse was found, more carefully dress-suited now, and polished to the uses of his trade, standing in a group of waiter-captains just inside the gilt-emboweled dining-room of Tanquay's, New York's most favored restaurant. ”

“ Yes sir, I was vain-like and let her think I was an actor."
"And she was disappointed to learn her husband was a valet?"
"Something awful! But it aint her so much I mind." The man's pose was drooping and awkward. "It's the baby. When I first looked at the little nipper lying there all bald and pink, something struck me hard, and I says: "No child of mine is ever going to be a servant or the son of a servant.' Maybe you'll understand, sir."
"Hand me my hat!" commanded Ronald Hild. "But what are you going to do, Henry?" ”

“ The biggest swells in the land think it the compliment of their social career to have you bow to 'em and call 'em by name. Servant! Why, Brown, you're an ambassador."
"That's one way of looking at it," mused Pierre.
"I'm not criticising your style," Mr. Tanquay persisted. "But I'm just suggesting that something might get under your skin and make a lot more money for you, and me. You're a famous man, Brown. You're being watched and copied by head-waiters in the big European restaurants. ”

“ The boy's eyes, as he sat beside his tutor in the semi-darkness, were bulging with excitement to behold this luxurious picture, thrilling even to his sophisticated senses. The brilliant vault before the observers seemed galvanised with the magnitude of the event impending. Subordinates passed rapidly here and there, casting keen professional glances at each golden plate; a troupe of florists leaned carefully across the chairs, massing a great bank of remarkable lilies of a species only to be found in the Vanderhuyden greenhouses.
"When are they coming, Uncle Ced?" ”

“ For eight years Pierre had arisen at Tanquay's, steadily, easily, from 'bus-boy to captain, displaying always so perfect a feeling for his art that Alphonse, the famous head waiter, had twice recommended him to Mr. Tanquay himself.
Upon Pierre's rare absences from post, the most important diners at Tanquay's were getting into the habit of asking after his health. Fame can go little further. ”

“ Annister replied.
"I'll tell you why I've sent for you." Pierre plunged into explanation. "Something's happened to me—going to happen—which makes it so I've got to see him soon or—maybe never."
"Health, you mean?" inquired Annister anxiously.
Pierre nodded his grayish head.
"Heart," he explained, sitting down and laying a clenched fit on his left side. "I've had two or three spells, and they took me to a big specialist last week. A man can't be sick as I am and be all right. He said I'd broken myself with hard work. ”

“ Glancing once, eagerly, at the long blue curtains, he turned his master mind to the business of the evening, causing the assembled army of flunkies to stand at nervous attention while he gave sharp instructions. partly in English, partly in bad French.
"Who is he?" asked the boy behind the curtain.
"Why—er—he is the gentleman who is giving the dinner," said Annister.
"Oh, Uncle Ced, you're ragging me," laughed the boy. "He isn't a gentleman. He's a head-waiter. He's got on the wrong sort of cravat, for a gentleman." ”

“ Henry Brown backed against the wall and regarded her for a long time with his pathetic, intelligent brown eyes.
"What if I am?" he said at last. "It's the swellest restaurant in New York—only temporary, just as I told you."
"Once a flunky, always a flunky," quoth Mrs. Henry Brown, slamming the closet door. "Meanwhile you're broke, and I'm being both father and mother to your precious child. We wont worry you and your high ambition much longer. Me and Lyla has signed a contract with the Alhambra, London, twelve pounds a week, split."
"Who takes care of our baby?" ”

“ In this businesslike sanctum, with its rows of letter-files, its roll-top desk and clicking typewriter, Pierre might have assumed the dignity of a prosperous lawyer. Miss Gilfoyle, his stenographer, was copying menu cards, and on his desk were many opened letters. ”

“ The boy's keen eyes were upon Annister's face.
"Pierre!" Norris caught up abruptly. The Captain averted his glance.
"Pierre!" repeated the boy more questioningly. Annister could not meet the searching gaze.
"Pierre—Pierre—ugh! Who's Pierre? You said that oddly. Pierre! That sounds like a head waiter. Half the head waiters in the world are Pierres." For a moment Norris paused. There was a heavy silence before the boy shot out: "Is my father known as Pierre, Uncle Ced?" ”

“ Annister inquired lightly, evasively. The Bobby referred to was the young Lord Thornkyl.
"Yes, Uncle Ced," replied the boy briefly.
"Hitting it off a bit well?"
"Rather a good sort," announced Norris. "Bobby travels about with his father quite a bit every year." His tone was again sinking to the minor key. "They're no end good pals. We've been talking about fathers."
"Bobby and you?" Annister pretended a vast serenity. The boy nodded.
"Bobby knows all about his father. He was Colonel in the Black Watch, and was promoted to Major General after the battle of Mafeking. ”

“ Pierre acknowledged, but without servility, because he never forgot that Tanquay had himself been a waiter.
"There's one thing has kept me puzzled about you for years." Tanquay stuck a black cigar under his mustache. "You're a riddle, Brown. Nearly all head-waiters get stuck on themselves sooner or later. In some of them it's a charm; in others it gets to be a positive nuisance. In your case I think it would add a lot to your manner—pride in your profession, Brown. The biggest actors have it ”

“ Alphonse the celebrated was not yet there to marshal his forces, and to this absence might be attributed the general laxity of discipline which caused 'bus-boys to slouch in corners, joking in Swiss German, and even the starchiest captains to indulge in sly confidences. ”