William John Fielding

“ Thus, they disport themselves in various striking poses, contort their bodies in mid-air, hop or dance, spread the plumes of their tail-feathers for the approbation of the opposite gender of the species, and in other ways show a seeming consciousness of exercising a deliberate sex appeal. I say "seeming consciousness," because these actions are purely instinctive, spontaneous and automatic, and as involuntary as the changing of the color of their feathers, fur or hair. The frolicking animals just cannot help themselves. ”

“ Men sacrifice their lives for the women they love; and women for the men they love. The sacrificial ardor of mother-love for the child is too well known to require elaboration. The love impulse extends far and wide and embraces every human relationship where a strong attachment is present. ”

“ It is not a complete or definite personality, but rather a collection of idealized fragments.
Maybe there is usually a more tangible resemblance that we give the lover credit for. Years ago, Karl Pearson was puzzled to find that the color of eyes was more alike in man and wife than it should be in first cousins, according to biological theory. As a man tends to marry a woman resembling his mother, and a woman tends to marry a man resembling her father, the color of the eyes must be among the first of all likenesses seized upon to awaken the admiration that ripens into love. ”

“ No one can estimate the damage that has been done by the traditional practice of placing a ban on knowledge concerning the sex side of life. Physicians, lawyers and others who are constantly brought into intimate touch with the private affairs of their patients and clients, know that the lives of untold numbers of men and women have been ruined by lack of understanding of their sexual nature, and that innumerable marriages have been shattered by a basic ignorance of sex problems. ”

“ Fatigue is for the time forgotten in the second-wind of dauntless energy. If the youth is in love, he is now hopeful and confident, and perhaps impatient of waiting in the development of his romance.
At times this is a very trying period of transition, with a dominating sense of pessimism. It prompts some youths to rash and impulsive acts, to compensate for their feeling of inadequacy. Others are inclined to solitude and introspection, depending upon the temperament of the individual. ”

“ Every normal person wishes to make a livelihood and to assure himself of the material needs that are so self-evident, even though often so elusive in sufficiency. Practically all training of the young takes this more or less into consideration, and even well in advance of adulthood, the individual is vaguely impressed with the inexorable operation of the economic struggle, even if he does not understand the mechanism behind it. ”

“ When, in trying to live their lives in accordance with this irrational ideal, or at best grudgingly to compromise with an unpleasant marital situation, they are unwittingly flouting the universal laws of nature—and pay the price in soul-suffering for their lack of understanding. ”

“ Meeting Life's Vital Problems. Every intelligent person is interested in the vital problems of life. How can we best prepare ourselves to meet these problems, understand their significance, and assure ourselves of the greatest possible measure of health, happiness and usefulness?
This is the most important question in every individual's life experience. It is the basic consideration of every well organized family. The attempt to answer it, in some degree of satisfaction, at least, is society's most fundamental constructive aim. ”

“ The home training, teaching and disciplining of children from infancy onward is a constant effort to prepare the young for the experiences of life. That this training so often falls short and proves inadequate is another matter. The point is that every parent worthy of the name wishes to have his or her child amount to something—in other words, to develop into a real manly man, or a fine womanly woman. And to fulfil either of these rôles, one must learn to face life and understand the significance of many of its problems. ”

“ The lower forms are interesting in tracing the steps of biological reproduction up to the higher and more complex forms of life. In sex we find the essential touch of nature that makes the whole world akin, that affords the impetus to the preservation of life and that is, as well, in the higher forms of life, when the consciousness of sex becomes evident, the source of much joy and ecstasy. ”

“ There seems every reason to believe, however, that the transferring of impulses from one goal to another, is not an actual change in the nature of the impulse, but is merely a masked indulgence of the original craving. ”

“ All about us we see the manifestations of sex, and there are many examples that are too remote to see and too subtle for us to notice. The world is filled with countless forms of life, from the tiny, invisible creatures, all the way up the biological scale to the mammals, of which man is the highest order. ”

“ This unconscious trait of our psychic make-up is not very discriminating. It goes out to all fairly attractive members of the opposite sex.
There is, however, one feature of our unconscious love emotions that evidences a marked discrimination. Why is it that each of us instinctively takes to, or shows a preference for, a certain type of individual of the opposite sex? Why is it that so many people fall in love at first sight—often to fall out again as soon as they get a chance to become acquainted? ”

“ It is responsible for much of the imperishable beauty, ecstasy and sublimity of life, art and literature; and, in its perverted, corrupted and misguided forms, it is equally responsible for some of the greatest tragedies that have scourged the heart of mankind. ”

“ It is conceded that the most essential preparation for adulthood, and the best safeguard for pre-adulthood, is an understanding of the practical side of life and its ways.
And how inseparably the countless manifestations of sex are bound up with life! Notwithstanding this fact, the great majority of people for generations have been trying to prepare their children for life by leaving sex entirely out of the scheme. ”

“ So in the upward scale of life, sex becomes more specialized and refined until, in certain of the higher orders, it reaches its finest and highest expression in altruism, self-sacrifice, chivalry and devotion. ”

“ A great deal of unhappiness in many marriages is due to either the husband or wife being obsessed with a parent fixation. Naturally the spouse—the wife, for instance—does not measure up to the rigid standard of her husband's childhood ideal of the mother—who was sort of a super-being, because she supplied all wants—which still dominates his love-life. ”

“ Sexuality Becomes More Complex. As we follow the higher forms in the biological scale of life, however, sex expression becomes more and more a specific act, periodic or occasional, instead of the almost exclusive function of life.
But even where the sex act itself becomes an occasional or periodic function, there are in evidence numerous secondary characteristics of sex which constantly assert themselves without denoting a conscious sexual impulse or response. ”

“ Of course an understanding of sex is essential to a genuine understanding of self. How thoroughly we are influenced by the unconscious expressions of our sexual nature—as well as, at times, by the conscious impulses—will be seen as we go on. ”

“ It is believed that an over-attachment by the male for the mother, or other female—the fixation which has already been discussed—is one of the principal determining causes. In this way the boy unconsciously patterns his psycho-erotic reactions and conduct after those of his mother, and as her sexual interest normally is in men, the boy's, too, gravitates in that direction, so that in adulthood he has sexual feeling only for persons of his own sex. The over-attachment of the girl for the father may result in the homosexual woman. ”

“ The greatest number of 'cold natures' is to be found among women who are often so frigid that, during sexual intercourse, they are totally indifferent and are almost like corpses. They are born, go through life eating, drinking, dressing, etc., without a single ray of love to animate and brighten their colorless existence. ”

“ With the exception of reproduction by cell division, however, the universal tendency of nature in the lower orders is to effect reproduction in the vegetable kingdom by means of seed, and in most of those orders of animal life below the mammals, by means of the egg. Both of these methods, however, with the elaborate processes of which the seed or egg is the immediate agency—and has its analogy in mammalian reproduction, including the human-are definitely sexual. ”

“ The love-life is a most complex phase of our being, physically and mentally, and its influence and ramifications affect, for good or ill, the entire personality. If one has successfully passed through the sequence of stages of sexual development, and upon maturity finds the harmonious adjustment that can only be obtained normally by a felicitous mating, the individual then possesses an invaluable asset to health and happiness. ”

“ So we see how at a very early age, the little girl begins to center her affectional interest in her father, who in this way becomes in the course of time her conception of the ideal of the opposite sex. Therefore, in later years, when the girl takes an interest in young men she is unconsciously influenced by her father's traits of character or physical attributes, and encourages those who may possess such traits or attributes, and promptly discourages those who do not. ”

“ There is normally a decline in sexual potency and desire at the male climacteric, although by no means is it to be inferred that the powers of sex are seriously disturbed at this period. They should last for many years longer, but there is not the same sexual robustness that prevailed at the high-tide of masculine vigor. This is natural, and is based on solid biological grounds. In the realm of nature generally, the male by this time has exercised his biological function as a progenitor of his kind and has made his contribution to the continuance of the race. ”

“ It is observed, too, that pleasure-sucking is connected with an entire exhaustion of attention and leads to sleep. The same principle holds true throughout life, i. e., the release of sexual tension—sex gratification in the adult—is conducive to repose and sleep. There is a medical axiom to the effect that sexual satisfaction is the best sedative.
From the adult standpoint many nervous insomnias are traced to lack of sexual gratification. It is also known that unscrupulous nurses calm crying children to sleep by stroking their genitals.
It is true that not all children suck their thumbs. ”

“ As examples of modified exhibitionism, we may record the propensity of women to wear low-necked gowns and dresses, short skirts, sleeveless waists, transparent fabrics, and similar dress and undress effects, which permit more or less display of the flesh and figure, and this affords an unconscious, and also a conscious, gratification of woman's impulse to exhibitionism. Other characteristic examples are certain hair-dressing arrangements, picturesque hats, various poses and attitudes, and other evidences that tend to emphasize the sex appeal of femininity. ”

“ Men feel some vague element lacking in their marriage relations. They realize that the woman they have chosen is a good wife, but there is some misgiving that they sense but cannot definitely recognize. If they could be brought to understand that they are simply trying to measure up a very human person with a non-existent ideal or glorified symbol, they would have the key to the whole situation.
A fixation is recognized as the cause of some cases of impotence—called "psychic impotence," because there is absolutely no physical reason for the impotent condition. ”

“ The attraction of one sex for the other is one of the fundamental principles of life, in all forms of life. Nature, which is responsible for this condition, has created a situation that often borders on a dilemma. Nature takes little or no account of the social conventions or of the cultural demands of civilization. ”