Doggie

“ But Doggie just wags his tail and capers,
And never an egg has he.
"Now, Dobbin, Dobbin, I'm sure you must have one,
Hid down in your manger there."
But Dobbin lays back his ears and whinnies,
With "Come and look, if you dare!"
"Piggywig, Piggywig, grunting and squealing,
Are you crying 'Fresh eggs for sale'?"
No! Piggy, you're very cold and unfeeling,
With that impudent quirk in your tail.
"You wise old Gobbler, you look so knowing,
I'm sure you can find me an egg.
You stupid old thing! just to say 'Gobble-gobble!'
85 And balance yourself on one leg." ”

“ The Currie family received me with all possible kindness: 'So charmed to make your acquaintance, Mr. Weatherhead,' said Mrs. Currie, as I shook hands. 'I see,' she added pleasantly, 'you've brought the doggie in with you.' As a matter of fact, I had brought the doggie in at the ends of my coat-tails, but it was evidently no unusual occurrence for visitors to appear in this undignified manner, for she detached him quite as a matter of course, and, as soon as I was sufficiently collected, we fell into conversation. ”

“ Dogs were seen everywhere, some at the heels of the young men who, in hunting attire, were making ready to start out for a day's shooting, some lying on the porches ready to bark at any passer-by, some sportively chasing one another up and down the street, playfully catching at the long silky ear of a companion, or rolling him over and over, then off again in hot chase. One or two thrust their cold noses into Linda's hand as she passed them, and with wagging tail received her caress and "Nice doggie" as something not only expected but deserved. ”

“ CHAPTER XXII Doggie, the lightest-hearted private in the British Army, danced, in a metaphorical sense, back to London, where he stayed for the rest of his leave at his rooms in Woburn Place; took his wholesome fill of theatres and music-halls, going to those parts of the house where Tommies congregate; and bought an old Crown Derby dinner service as a wedding present for Peggy and Oliver, a tortoise-shell-fitted dressing-case for Peggy, and for Oliver a magnificent gold watch that was an encyclopædia of current information. ”

“ She had a remarkably bad cold at the time, which betrayed itself chiefly in a frequent, but feeble, sneeze.
As I rose to go out, and looked at my doggie—who was, or seemed to be, asleep on the rug—a sudden thought occurred to me.
“That poor old creature,” I muttered, “is very lonely in her garret; a little dog might comfort her. Perhaps—but no. Dumps, you are too lively for her, too bouncing. She would require something feeble and affectionate, like herself. ”

“ Ech-ka cock-a-doodle doo—
Go 'way, dog! Who cares for you?
Now he's at the ducks—O look!
[213] See them waddle to the brook.
Quack! quack! quack! quack!
Doggie cannot drive them back.
Turkey gobbler, chase him now;
Chase him, turkeys! Bow, wow, wow!
Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble!
Bow, wow, wow—gobble, gobble!
Sting him, bees! The naughty doggie!
Jump upon him, great big froggie!
Buzz, buzz, gluck, gluck:
Now, old doggie, where's your pluck?
There, they've bothered you enough—
And you're sorry, poor old Buff?
Bow, wow, wow, wow,
Come and play with Baby now. ”

“ Wi' that the doggie barked aloud,
And up and doon he ran,
And tugged and strained his chain o' gowd,
All for to bite the man.
"O hush thee, gentle popinjay!
O hush thee, doggie dear!
There is a word I fain wad say,
It needeth he should hear!"
Aye louder screamed that ladye fair
To drown her doggie's bark:
Ever the lover shouted mair
To make that ladye hark:
Shrill and more shrill the popinjay
Upraised his angry squall:
I trow the doggie's voice that day
Was louder than them all! ”

“ Why, they listened one day, at a neighbor's blinds,
And heard the family speak their minds—
What a pity!
[212]
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DOGGIE'S TRICKS.
What's this coming? Baby, hark!
It's the doggie—hear him bark—
Bow, wow, wow, wow—
Don't you frighten Baby now!
Pussy hears him. See her hide,
Now her eyes are open wide:
Meouw, Meouw—sptisss, sptisss!
Oh how angry pussy is!
Go 'way, doggie—run off, quick;
Moonie cow has found your stick—
Moo, moo, moo, moo;
Moonie cow is calling you.
Now he's off. He's in the yard,
All the sheep are running hard. ”

“ He had spent hundreds and hundreds of pounds over these futile dogs. Yet never a flesh and blood, real, lusty canis futilis had he possessed. He used to dislike real dogs. The shivering rat, Goliath, could scarcely be called a dog. He had wasted his heart over these contemptible counterfeits. To add to his collection, catalogue it, describe it, correspond about it with the semi-imbecile Russian prince, his only rival collector, had once ranked with his history of wall-papers as the serious and absorbing pursuit of his life.
Then suddenly Doggie’s hatred reached the crisis of ferocity. ”

“ As Dr McTougall had taken my district, a brief note to Mrs Miff, my landlady, relieved my mind of all anxieties, professional and domestic, so that my doggie and I could enjoy ourselves as well as the swollen leg would permit.
“My dear young friend,” said the little doctor, as he entered, “your patients are all going on admirably, and as I mean to send my assistant to them regularly, you may make your mind quite easy. I’ve seen your old woman too, and she is charming. I don’t wonder you lost your heart to her. ”

“ And here is his little mammy
To curl his bonny hair.
Here is his little bath-tub,
And here is his little sponge,
Before the gown and the curling
My baby shall have a plunge.
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Pins in the carpet, tacks in the floor,
Needles in the drugget, wind through the door,
Fire in the fender! Oh, it beats all!
There isn't a place where our baby can crawl.
[163]
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If Pussy were made of leather,
And Doggie were made of lead,
I'd tumble them both together,
And hammer them on the head.
But Pussy is warm and tender,
And Doggie is good and true ”

“ Then Doggie stamped on them with his heavy munition boots until dogs and glass were reduced to powder and the Aubusson carpet was cut to pieces.
“Damn the whole infernal place!” cried Doggie, and he heaved a mandolin tied up with disgusting peacock-blue ribbons at the bookcase, and fled from the room.
He stood for a while in the hall, shaken with his anger; then mounted the staircase and went into his own bedroom with the satinwood furniture and nattier blue hangings. God! what a bedchamber for a man! He would have liked to throw bombs into the nest of effeminacy. ”

“ The stranger looked again at Pete, then back at Venetia. Finally he tied a handkerchief over the dog's mouth, and began to examine him carefully.
"Let's see what there's left of you after the mix-up, Mr. Doggie. We'll give you the benefit of our best attention and skill,—more'n most folks ever get in this world,—because you are the pet of a nice young lady. If you were just an alley-cat, you wouldn't even get the chloroform. Well, Miss, he'd have about one chance in a hundred, after he had that hind leg cut off."
"Are you a doctor? Do you think that you could cure him? ”

“ One doggie that was given him to keep, keep, keep,
Two cunning little kitty-cats, creep, creep, creep,
Three pretty little bunnies, with a leap, leap, leap,
Went to see if Baby Ray was asleep, sleep, sleep.
“How can we go to bed,” said the four white Geese, “till we know that Baby Ray is all right? He loves to watch us sail on the duck-pond, and he brings us corn in his little blue apron. It is bedtime now for geese and rabbits and kitties and dogs and babies, and he really ought to be asleep.” ”

“ And the landlady had a little doggie, and the doggie was very capricious and liked to catch hold of the end of the landlady's skirt and tug at it.
The landlady took her little key and opened the little cupboard, found the little box and took out the wee wee lump of sugar. The little doggie looked up at her and wagged his tail. ”

“ The funniest doggie in all the world is little yellow Wienerwurst. He is even more full of mischief than Brownie and loves to run after all the other animals in the barnyard.
When the pigeons fly down from their little house on the top of the barn to take an afternoon walk and perhaps pick up a few extra grains of corn, this little yellow doggie spoils all their fun. He soon sends them flying back to their house on the roof, where they chatter and coo in great excitement. But they do not lose their tempers like "Mr. ”

“ CHAPTER VIII At the Savoy, during the first stupefaction of his misery, Doggie had not noticed particularly the prevalence of khaki. At the Russell it dwelt insistent, like the mud on Salisbury Plain. Men that might have been the twin brethren of his late brother officers were everywhere, free, careless, efficient. The sight of them added the gnaw of envy to his heartache. Even in his bedroom he could hear the jingle of their spurs and their cheery voices as they clanked along the corridor. On the third day after his migration he took a bold step and moved into lodgings in Woburn Place. ”

“ He wasn’t really a bad sort of dog at heart, only he had been treated cruelly all his life, kicked and beaten and half-starved. Dogs, you know, are very much like you Two-Legged Folks. Be gentle and kind to us and we will be gentle and kind, too. Treat us crossly and we may grow to be cross and snappy like you. You are the ones we serve, and so it is not strange that we should learn our manners from you. Poor Jim—for that was the bulldog’s name—had had only blows and ugly words ever since he was a puppy and he didn’t know what it was to be well-fed and petted and looked after. ”

“ Most always you miss them, because their eyes are in the wrong place, being on the top of their head, and they can see behind them. But sometimes you catch one. When you do you play with it awhile and let it go. Freya, though, never would play with them. She said they [45] were ugly-looking and she didn’t like the smell of them. Girl-dogs are like that, though, sort of finicky and fussy about little things.
You wouldn’t think that such a silly, no-account animal as a frog could get a decent dog into trouble, would you? It can, though, and it did. And I was the dog. ”

“ Do you remember when the Baby brought me in here that morning and said:
“Afed, here is Kismus present for oo, Mild’ed’s booful dogum!”
You were almost as glad as I was, weren’t you?
Well, there, that’s all my story. Next month we’re going back to see them all, aren’t we? I shall like that. I suppose Freya is fatter than ever now. She doesn’t hunt enough. I shall tell Mother so, too.
[182]
Heigho! I think I’m getting sleepy. I have talked a great deal for a dog, and this pillow is very comfy. If you will lean over I’d like to lick your face. Then I shall take a nap. ”

“ These unfortunate dry nurses of dogdom, the cur cuddlers, mongrel managers, Spitz stalkers, poodle pullers, Skye scrapers, dachshund dandlers, terrier trailers and Pomeranian pushers of the cliff-dwelling Circes follow their charges meekly. The doggies neither fear nor respect them. Masters of the house these men whom they hold in leash may be, but they are not masters of them. ”

“ And William put some smelly stuff on them and gave me a dose of nasty medicine and they went right away again. So I laughed at Freya and she stopped crying, and after William had rubbed something on the pimple I told her what Mother had said. I thought she would be quite pleased about it, but she wasn’t. You never can tell what a girl-dog will do! ”

“ Ah! Doggy, don't you think you should very faithful be,
For having such a loving friend to comfort you as me?
And when your leg is better, and you can run and play,
We'll have a scamper in the fields and see them making hay.
But, Doggy, you must promise (and mind your word you keep)
Not once to tease the little lambs, or run among the sheep;
And then the little yellow chicks that play upon the grass,
You must not even wag your tail to scare them as you pass.
Pussy sits beside the fire—
How can she be fair?
In comes little puppy-dog:
"Pussy, are you there? ”

“ A Doge, richly and magnificently dressed, and a Dogess at his side, as richly adorned with jewellery, are stepping out on to a balustered balcony; he is an old man, with a grey beard and rusty red face, his features indicating a peculiar blending of expressions, now revealing strength, now weakness, again pride and arrogance, and again pure good-nature; she is a young woman, with a far-away look of yearning sadness and dreamy aspiration not only in her eyes but also in her general bearing. ”

“ That new dog of theirs had come into our yard to look around, and Bonnie Bell's Boston dog, Peanut—which mostly rode in her car with her—had jumped this here visiting dog, and they was having it out sincere, right in our front yard.
Well, sir, it was one of the prettiest fights you ever seen. A collie ain't no slouch in a scrap, and if this dog wouldn't of been so young he like enough could of licked Peanut, all right. But, you see, Peanut he was taking care of his own folks, according to the way he figured it, and this was a intrusion on the part of the Wisner dog. ”

“ Ah! if you knew what miscreations there are among them; one, a clumsy house-dog, with stupidity written on his face, walks the street with an important air and imagines that he is an extremely important person, and that the eyes of all the world are fastened on him. I don't pay him the least attention, and pretend not to see him at all.
“And what a hideous bulldog has taken up his post opposite my window! If he stood on his hind-legs, as the monster probably cannot, he would be taller by a head than my mistress's papa, who himself has a stately figure. ”