Fakrash

“ Fakrash.
[Striding up and down the hall, and brandishing his arms.] Perdition seize thee! For he will assuredly refuse to surrender such a talisman! Woe to me, for I am undone! Undone! Undone!
Horace.
Don't talk rot! You aren't undone—and nobody wants to undo you! [Fakrash utters wild cries.] Don't go howling about like that—sit down again and be sensible.
Fakrash.
[Halting opposite Horace, with a menacing gesture.] Take heed to thyself! For if thou dost not restore my seal immediately——!
Horace.
[Facing him composedly.] It's no good trying to bully me, you know. I'm not afraid of you. ”

“ Fakrash was deeply impressed. "O young man of marvellous moderation!" he cried. "Thy sentiments are not inferior to those of the Great Suleyman himself (on whom be peace!) . Yet even he doth not utterly despise them, for he hath gold and ivory and precious stones in abundance. Nor hitherto have I ever met a human being capable of rejecting them when offered. But, since thou seemest sincere in holding that my poor and paltry gifts will not advance thy welfare, and since I would do thee good and not evil—be it even as thou wouldst. ”

“ Fakrash admitted.
"Well, do it—and I'll swear to seal you up in the bottle exactly as if you had never been out of it, and pitch you into the deepest part of the Thames, where no one will ever disturb you."
"First produce the bottle, then," said Fakrash, "for I cannot believe but that thou hast some lurking guile in thy heart."
"I'll ring for my landlady and have the bottle brought up," said Horace. "Perhaps that will satisfy you? Stay, you'd better not let her see you."
"I will render myself invisible," said the Jinnee, suiting the action to his words. ”

“ How did the people in "The Arabian Nights" manage? The fisherman, for instance? He persuaded his Jinnee to return to the bottle by pretending to doubt whether he had ever really been inside it.
But Fakrash, though simple enough in some respects, was not quite such a fool as that. Sometimes the Jinn could be mollified and induced to grant a reprieve by being told stories, one inside the other, like a nest of Oriental boxes. Unfortunately Fakrash did not seem in the humour for listening to apologues, and, even if he were, Horace could not think of or improvise any just then. ”

“ Fakrash.
[Coming down to right.] Thou seemest to me to be despising riches beyond all price.
Horace.
Exactly! Because they are beyond all price! Look at those sacks—bulging, simply bulging with diamonds and rubies and emeralds as big as ostrich eggs! Well, I can't wear 'em. They'd be too dressy! I can't sell 'em—no one could afford to buy a single one of 'em! And how am I to account for having them at all?
Fakrash.
Thou canst surely say that they are presents to thee from Fakrash-el-Aamash, a Jinnee of the Green Jinn, in return for thy kindness in releasing him from a bottle of brass. ”

“ Horace.
[More mildly.] Oh, if you'll do that! But how?
Fakrash.
[Standing in centre of hall.] By procuring thee another bride of far greater beauty and accomplishments.
Horace.
[Striding past him in a fury.] Another! You—you hopeless old ass! Can't you understand?
Fakrash.
[Seizing his arm, and bringing him down the stage.] Wait! Thou hast not yet heard the list of her perfections. A forehead shall she have like the gleaming dome of a temple, eyes like unto blazing lamps, a nose that shineth brighter than a sword, teeth resembling pearls strung on native gold, a bosom——
Horace. ”

“ Horace turned faint and dizzy for a moment. Then, by a strong effort of will, he pulled himself together. "Oh, come now," he said, "you don't really mean that, you know. After all your kindness! You're much too good-natured to be capable of anything so atrocious."
"All pity hath been eradicated from my heart," returned Fakrash. "Therefore prepare to die, for thou art presently about to perish in the most unfortunate manner."
Ventimore could not repress a shudder. Hitherto he had never been able to take Fakrash quite seriously, in spite of all his supernatural powers ”

“ Why, thanks to you, I am engaged to build a palace that will keep me hard at work and happy for ever so long."
"Are human beings, then, so enamoured of hard labour?" asked Fakrash, in wonder. "It is not thus with the Jinn."
"I love my work for its own sake," said Horace, "and then, when I have finished it, I shall have earned a very fair amount of money—which is particularly important to me just now."
"And why, my son, art thou so desirous of obtaining riches?"
"Because," said Horace, "unless a man is tolerably well off in these days he cannot hope to marry." ”

“ You have put me in the way to make a name and fortune for myself. If I fail, it will be my own fault. And, at all events, I want nothing more from you. If you mean to find Suleyman (on whom be peace!) you must go and live in the East altogether—for he certainly isn't over here; you must give up your whole time to it, keep as quiet as possible, and don't be discouraged by any reports you may hear. Above all, never trouble your head about me or my affairs again!"
"O thou of wisdom and eloquence," said Fakrash, "this is most excellent advice. ”

“ Poor dear young gentleman, we've never known 'im beyave otherwise than as a gentleman, and—— [There is a sound outside of rushing wind, as Fakrash swoops down with Horace and both alight on the balcony; Mrs. Rapkin turns, screams, and sinks into a chair on the right of the fireplace.] Bless us and save us! Oh, Mr. Ventimore! [Seeing Fakrash.] ”

“ I defy you!"
"When thou hast seen thy bride's perfections thou wilt need no compulsion," said Fakrash. "And if thou shouldst refuse, know this: that thou wilt be exposing those who are dear to thee in this household to calamities of the most unfortunate description."
The awful vagueness of this threat completely crushed Horace; he could not think, he did not even dare to imagine, what consequences he might bring upon his beloved Sylvia and her helpless parents by persisting in his refusal. ”

“ Why, they'll call it 'Wackerbath's Folly,' sir. I shall be the laughing-stock of the neighbourhood. I can't live in the beastly building. I couldn't afford to keep it up, and I won't have it cumbering my land. Do you hear? I won't! I'll go to law, cost me what it may, and compel you and your Arabian friends there to pull the thing down. I'll take the case up to the House of Lords, if necessary, and fight you as long as I can stand!"
"As long as thou canst stand!" repeated Fakrash, gently. "That is a long time truly, O thou litigious one!... On all fours, ungrateful dog that thou art!" ”

“ His heart grew lighter still as he came to the end, for he learnt that, after many adventures which need not be mentioned here, the devoted Seyf did actually succeed in gaining the proud Bedeea as his wife. "Even Fakrash could not propose to marry me to some one who has a husband already," he thought. "Still, she may be a widow!" ”

“ When the mule had drained the flower-pot greedily and appeared refreshed, Horace proceeded: "I have every hope, sir," he said, "that before many hours you will be smiling—pray don't prance like that, I mean what I say—smiling over what now seems to you, very justly, a most annoying and serious catastrophe. I shall speak seriously to Fakrash (the Jinnee, you know) , and I am sure that, as soon as he realises what a frightful blunder he has made, he will be the first to offer you every reparation in his power. For, old foozle as he is, he's thoroughly good-hearted." ”

“ Fakrash smiled with indulgent compassion. "How excellent is the saying of one of old: 'He that adventureth upon matrimony is like unto one who thrusteth his hand into a sack containing many thousands of serpents and one eel. Yet, if Fate so decree, he may draw forth the eel.' And thou art comely, and of an age when it is natural to desire the love of a maiden. ”

“ Don't you, Sylvia?"
"Yes, indeed!" said Sylvia, almost in a whisper, "if—if it isn't troubling you too much!"
"I have been turning over thy words in my mind," said Fakrash to Horace, still ignoring Sylvia, "and I am convinced that thou art right. Even if the contents of the seal were known of all men, they would raise no clamour about affairs that concern them not. Therefore it is nothing to me in whose hands the seal may be. Dost thou not agree with me in this?" ”

“ And how was Horace treating him? He was taking what, in his heart, he felt to be a rather mean advantage of the Jinnee's ignorance of modern life to cajole him into returning to his captivity. Why not suffer him to live out the brief remainder of his years (for he could hardly last more than another century or two at most) in freedom? Fakrash had learnt his lesson: he was not likely to interfere again in human affairs ”

“ He found himself, instead, idly watching the busy, jostling crowd below, who were all unconscious of the impending drama so high above them. Just over the rim of the dome he could see the opaque white top of a lamp on a shelter, where a pigmy constable stood, directing the traffic.
Would he look up if Horace called for help? Even if he could, what help could he render? All he could do would be to keep the crowd back and send for a covered stretcher. No, he would not dwell on these horrors; he must fix his mind on some way of circumventing Fakrash. ”

“ Fakrash.
Sayest thou so? Then— [cunningly] —tell me. Doth there still remain any one of Suleymán's seed that exerciseth his authority over them of the Jinn?
Horace.
No. As soon as you've made things right for me, you can go off to your own country and settle down comfortably—there's no power on earth that can interfere with you.
Fakrash.
Then—before I do thee any further service—bring hither the stopper wherewith my bottle was sealed.
Horace.
[Uneasily.] The—the stopper? Oh, nonsense! You can't want that now! What for? As a souvenir? [Pg 94]
Fakrash. ”

“ You will kindly obliterate all recollection of yourself and the brass bottle from the minds of every human being who has had anything to do with you or it."
"Not so," objected the Jinnee, "for thus wouldst thou forget thy compact."
"Oh, very well, leave me out, then," said Horace. "Not that anything could make me forget you!"
Fakrash swept his right hand round in a half circle. "It is accomplished," he said. "All recollection of myself and yonder bottle is now erased from the memories of every one but thyself."
"But how about my client?" said Horace. "I can't afford to lose him, you know." ”

“ Pringle goes up to The Mule and reassures it, Mrs. Futvoye accompanying him.
Fakrash.
[Gloating over the cap.] It is indeed my stopper! Now shall I be secure from disturbance!
Horace.
[Going to Fakrash, seizing his arm, and drawing him to the right; then, in an undertone.] Pitch into me afterwards if you like—but listen now. You must keep your side of the bargain! ”

“ Ventimore had so thoroughly convinced himself that the released Jinnee was purely a creature of his own imagination, that he rubbed his eyes with a start, hoping that they had deceived him.
"Stroke thy head, O merciful and meritorious one," said his visitor, "and recover thy faculties to receive good tidings. For it is indeed I—Fakrash-el-Aamash—whom thou beholdest."
"I—I'm delighted to see you," said Horace, as cordially as he could. "Is there anything I can do for you?"
"Nay, for hast thou not done me the greatest of all services by setting me free? To escape out of a bottle is pleasant. ”

“ Fakrash.
All these instructions will I observe.
Horace.
But you can't go in that get-up, or you'll have a crowd of small boys at your heels. Couldn't you raise [Pg 97] the sort of costume respectable elderly gentlemen go about in nowadays?
Fakrash.
I hear and obey. To assume such garb as is worn by aged dwellers in this city will be the simplest affair possible!
Horace.
All right, then. And you must go to No. 47 Cottesmore Gardens, Kensington, and ask whoever lets you in if you may see Professor Futvoye. Think you can remember all that?
Fakrash. ”

“ Horace.
[Impatiently, as he moves to his bedroom door on right.] I know, I know! Don't you bother to run through them now—I've got to dress for dinner. Just you bundle off to Arabia and search for Suleymán like billy-oh. Good-bye!
Fakrash.
May Allah never deprive thy friends of thy presence! Never have I encountered a mortal who has pleased me so greatly! ”

“ Horace.
[To himself.] Why, of course! Sylvia! The Arabian Nights! [To Fakrash.] I can quite account for you now—but go on.
Fakrash.
For a certain offence that I committed, the wrath of Suleymán, the son of Dáood—on whom be peace!— [he salaams] —was heavy against me, and he commanded that I should be enclosed within a bottle of [Pg 27] brass, and thrown into the Sea of El-Karkar, there to abide the Day of Doom.
Horace.
Don't think I'm believing in you. [Walking round the front of the bottle, as if to test Fakrash by touching him.] I've sense enough to know you're not real! ”

“ The Mule.
[Angrily.] Damn it, sir, we're not likely to chatter about it!
Pringle.
[Approaching Fakrash, reassuringly.] It will never be allowed to go beyond the family.
Fakrash.
[To Pringle.] O eloquent and comely-faced one, I accept thy undertaking, for thou art indeed a worthy and honourable person. [As Pringle, highly flattered, returns to The Mule, Fakrash beckons Mrs. Futvoye.] In order that I may restore thy husband, bring me hither a cup of fair water. [Pg 153]
Mrs. Futvoye.
There's some in the dining-room. [Going towards door to hall.] At least, it's filtered, if that will do! ”