Indian wife

“ Marriages among the Indians are not, as with us, contracted for life; it is understood on both sides that the parties are not to live together any longer than they shall be pleased with each other. The husband may put away his wife whenever he pleases, and the woman may in like manner abandon her husband. Therefore the connexion is not attended with any vows, promises, or ceremonies of any kind. An Indian takes a wife as it were on trial, determined, however, in his own mind not to forsake her if she behaves well, and particularly if he has children by her. ”

“ CONDITION OF THE INDIAN WOMEN.
Polygamy is not uncommon among them; and the husband occasionally finds it necessary to administer a little wholesome castigation to his more quarrelsome or refractory squaws. But many are satisfied with one wife. The care of the tent and the whole drudgery of the family devolve on the women. They gather fuel, cook the provisions, and repair every article of dress; cultivate the ground, where any is cultivated ”

“ Yes, I know you do, but English wives ain't Indian wives; an English wife requires people to work for her and costs money to keep, but an Indian wife works for herself and her husband, so she is of value and is generally bought of the father; I reckon in the end that it's cheaper to pay for an Indian wife than to receive money with an English one ”

“ Sometimes white men of peculiar character have taken to themselves Indian wives, and have endeavoured to make cultivated women of them; but in vain. The squaw continued to be the squaw; uncleanly, with unkemped hair, loving the dimness of the kitchen more than the light of the drawing-room, the ample envelopment of the woollen blanket rather than tight-lacing and silken garments. The faithful wife and tender mother she may become, stedfast to home and the care of her family as long as her husband lives and the children are small ”

“ One to five children were born to all the wives except the first wife. Sometimes the wives would all get to quarreling and become very insolent to one another, when the husband would appear upon the scene and whip them all, except his first wife, he never punished her as he loved her more than all the rest.
For many years, with riches, wives and children around him, he was a powerful member of the Klamath Indians. As he grew old, family troubles arose among his relatives and sons, which resulted in bloodshed and loss of lives. ”

“ They are most indignant at the conception by the Western people of the treatment accorded the Indian woman by her husband. They say that books are filled with the stories of the brutality of husbands who marry these girl-wives without love on either side, yet they point out that it is a well-known fact that there are fewer wife-beaters in India than there are in England. Manu, the great law-giver, says, “A woman’s body must not be struck hard even with a flower, because it is sacred.” ”

“ The Anglo-Indian wife too often takes little interest in her husband's work, and so cannot prove very companionable to him. And this probably accounts for the extraordinary latitude he allows her in seeking the society of some particular bachelor with whom she rides, drives and sits in the Club every day, who becomes a standing feature in her life. The mènage à trois flourishes in India. ”

“ Long centuries of oppression made the Indian woman thankful for even a poor specimen of a man. Thrice happy was her lot when she was taken for wife by a decent white man. In her inarticulate way she greatly rejoiced and sacrificed herself for him gladly. There are many people in Oregon and Washington who have Indian blood in their veins, and few, very few, of them have ever had reason to blush for their Indian mothers. ”

“ I should observe, that when an Indian woman gives herself to a white man, she considers herself as his wife to all intents and purposes. If forsaken by him, she considers herself as injured, not disgraced. There are great numbers of white settlers and traders along the borders living thus with Indian women. Some of these have been persuaded by the missionaries or magistrates to go through the ceremony of marriage ”

“ No one who has ever seen an Indian wife of a white man sent back to her people ever wanted to see such a thing again. Sorrowfully gathering up her little belongings, lingering over the task as long as possible, the poor dumb creature would finally come to the last parting. Without outcry or struggle she would try to accept her fate. One or two good bye kisses, for the Indian women under the training of the white men soon learned to kiss, and then with her little bundles she would make her way back to the lodges. ”

“ That a wife may not take her husband’s name is a very general rule throughout India.
Out of all this knot of etiquette, born, it [Pg 120] seems to me, of some distorted view of danger to modesty, as well as of a becoming respect and reverence, it is hard to disentangle the Indian conception of the love of a maid for a man. But this is certain, it is unlike what is the ideal in the West. There is worship; he is her God; he has brought God close to her. She is created to serve him with all her powers of mind and body, to serve and never criticize or question. ”

“ When an Indian wants a wife, he goes to the fair one’s father, and asks his consent. This being obtained, he informs the young lady of the circumstance, and then returns to his wigwam, whither the bride follows him, and installs herself as mistress of the house without further ceremony. Generally speaking, Indians content themselves with one wife, but it is looked upon as neither unusual nor improper to take two, or even three wives. The great point to settle is the husband’s ability to support them. Thus, a bad hunter can only afford one wife, whilst a good one may have three or four. ”

“ Already men and women are proud of the Indian blood in their veins, and more and more this feeling will grow, but at this early time the Indian wife could only be happy in her native land, and was unfitted for any other ”

“ Some of the very rich men had plural wives, or as many wives as they cared to support, but the average Indian had but one wife. There has been some instances of plural marriages since the white man made his appearance on the Klamath River, one of which I will make special mention of. This Indian who had made eleven women his wives, was born under the very lowest marriage laws, at the Wah-teck village and was known as Ca-wah-ter; his parents were extremely poor, living in poverty and squalor at the Wah-tec village, where they raised a large family of children. ”

“ The great disparity of age between husband and wife, almost universal amongst Hindus, is beginning to be recognised as an abuse, although the idea still lingers, even amongst Indian Christians, that [210] the husband should always be rather the elder of the two. These young widows, well-educated, trained, and disciplined by their busy life in the institution, would make excellent wives for the educated Hindus. ”

“ Certain it is that immoral intercourse among Indians, leading their natural lives, is rare, and as polygamy scarcely existed, only a few of the bigger men having more than one wife, the affection that grew up between an Indian man and his wife was very often sincere and deep-rooted, just as the love of parents for their children was. ”

“ Only in the last two or three generations have Indian women slipped away from their place at their husbands' side, and left them unhelped in their public life. But even now they wield great influence over husband and son. Culture has never forsaken them, but the English education of their husbands and sons, with the neglect of Sanskrit and the Vernacular, have made a barrier between the culture of the husband and that of the wife, and has shut the woman out from her old sympathy with the larger life of men. While the interests of the husband have widened, those of the wife have narrowed. ”

“ They are generally loved by their husbands, and are never brutally treated. A wife-beater drunkard is unknown in India. In return, Indian wives and mothers are devoted to their families. I have often seen wives in the act of circumambulating the sacred Tulsi plant 108 times, with the sole object of bringing down a blessing on their husband and children. In no other country in the world are family affection and reverence for parents so conspicuously operative as in India. ”

“ An aged Indian, who for many years had spent much of his time among the white people both in Pennsylvania and New Jersey, one day, about the year 1770, observed, that the Indians had not only a much easier way of getting a wife than the whites, but were also more certain of getting a good one ”

“ Again, the first wife—if she is a consenting party—often gives away the fresh wives at the altar; but this, too, is a mere custom. The fact that in India one of the wives generally occupies a position of far higher dignity than that held by the others will make Indian polygamy easy to destroy by the lapse of time and operation of social and moral causes. As the city-dwelling natives come to mix more with the Europeans, they will find that only one of their wives will be generally recognized. ”

“ The lodge is her precinct, the forest his.
There is no law, nor force, to prevent an Indian from decreeing his own divorce, that is to say, leaving one wife and taking another whenever he sees cause. Yet it often occurs that there is some plausible pretext for such a step, such as if true, would form some justification of the measure. The best protection to married females arises from the ties of children, which by bringing into play the strong natural affections of the heart, and appeals at once to that principle in man's original organization, which is the strongest. ”

“ The Indian woman has a finer development, as a rule, than the white woman. We may, in part, discover the cause for this in the prevalence of the custom, already alluded to, of the mother carrying her offspring on her back, which, with its not undue strain on the dorsal muscles, no doubt, promotes and conserves muscular strength. The Indian woman being commonly a wife and mother before a really full maturity has been reached, or any absolute unyieldingness of form been contracted, the figure yet admits of such-like beneficent processes being exerted upon it. ”

“ Even among the rudest Indian tribes a regular union between man and wife was universal, although not attended with ceremonials. The marriage contract is a matter of purchase. The man buys his wife of her parents; not with money, for its value is unknown, but with some useful and precious article, such as a robe of bear or other handsome skin, a horse, a rifle, powder and shot. When the Indian has made the bargain with his wife's parents, he takes her home to his caban, and from that time she becomes his slave. ”

“ His wife, who is the daughter of an Indian woman by a white man, has the dark Indian eye, and features not unlike those of the Feather-cloud woman, and in other respects, is as much like a gentlewoman as any agreeable white lady. ”

“ Birnie and her husband held them with a steady hand.
Here was one of the great advantages to the Hudson's Bay men of having Indian wives. No plotting could go on without their knowl
1edge, and in a time of stress the Indian wife could always be relied on. No white person saw the messengers or knew who they were, but that they came was certain. ”

“ When it does occur, the man very commonly marries his wife’s sister, and even her whole family, we may suppose, that the household may be thereby rendered more harmonious. The Indian is said never to betray the slightest tenderness towards his wife or children. If he meets them on his return from a distant expedition, he proceeds, without taking the slightest notice, and seats himself in his cabin as if he had not been a day absent. ”

“ No jealousies ever appear among these families of wives.' Farnham's Life in Cal., p. 367. 'An Indian man may have as many wives as he can keep; but a woman cannot have a plurality of husbands, or men to whom she owes obedience.' Johnston, in Schoolcraft's Arch., vol. iv., p. 224. In the Sacramento Valley 'the men in general have but one wife.' Pickering's Races, in U. S. Ex. ”

“ They have held their dignity with a poise which does the female sex a great credit.
Does Hindu religion sanction, then, the bondage of woman, and is wife-beating permitted in Indian society? Is the Hindu wife considered merely as an instrument of pleasure, and is her whole ambition in life to be a passive and obedient servant of the husband?
The maxims which guide the conduct of Hindu society were laid down by the great Law-giver Manu, in the year 200 B. C. He says:
[Pg 34]
“Where female relations live in grief, the family soon perishes ”

“ In spite of the fact that the wives are mere property, the domestic life of the Indian will bear comparison with that of average civilized communities. The husband, as a rule, is kind; ruling, but with no harshness. ”

“ And, for a Hindu woman, “the best is yet to be.” When she arrives at the dignity of Grandmother, ruling a household of daughters-in-law, she has indeed entered upon her kingdom. The son, who as infant first added to her stature, lavishes upon her in old age respect and affection which any woman might envy. Indeed, the relation of mother and son, even of widowed mother and son in India now, when her life is near its close, is the most beautiful perhaps of all Indian family relationships. ”