Muldoon

“ MULDOON One day while I was working with an Irishman named Muldoon, the proprietor, Mr. Benjamin, came along, leading his little daughter, who, pointing to Muldoon, said, "Papa, what makes you hire paddies? I do not like them." Muldoon resented the innocent prattle, and turning to Benjamin, said: "Will ye allow that wee bit of a brat to spake that way of a gintleman?"
"You are no gentleman to call a child a brat, and if you answer back I'll discharge you at once." ”

“ Muldoon glanced round her, and her voice was an hysterical whisper.
"It's no mortal woman ye've brought into the house," said Mrs. Muldoon. "It's a fairy."
Whether up to that moment the Professor had really believed Malvina's story, or whether lurking at the back of his mind there had all along been an innate conviction that the thing was absurd, the Professor himself is now unable to say. To the front of the Professor lay Oxford—political economy, the higher criticism, the rise and progress of rationalism. ”

“ Muldoon—waking and sleeping during this period in a state of high nervous tension—would hear the sound of a softly opened door; peeping from a raised corner of the blind, would catch a glimpse of fluttering garments that seemed to melt into the dawn; would hear coming fainter and fainter from the uplands an unknown song, mingling with the answering voices of the birds.
It was on the uplands between dawn and sunrise that Malvina made the acquaintance of the Arlington twins. ”

“ Muldoon’s that, glad as she was to oblige him by her noonday round, there was a request she greatly hoped he would never make of her. If he should wish her for any reason to come in after dark she would just tell him, if he “plased,” that he must ask it of somebody else. ”

“ He liked however the open shutters; he opened everywhere those Mrs. Muldoon had closed, closing them as carefully afterwards, so that she shouldn’t notice: he liked—oh this he did like, and above all in the upper rooms!—the sense of the hard silver of the autumn stars through the window-panes, and scarcely less the flare of the street-lamps below, the white electric lustre which it would have taken curtains to keep out. This was human actual social; ”

“ So they drowsed on about their comfortable fires, and Pierre drew rein with a jerk before the largest of Morgantown's saloons. He had to set his teeth before he could summon the resolution to throw open the door. It was done; he stepped inside, and stood blinking in the sudden rush of light against his face.
It was all bewildering at first; the radiance, the blue tangle of smoke, the storm of voices. For Muldoon's was packed from door to door. Coins rang in a steady chorus along the bar, and the crowd waited three and four deep. ”

“ It was not the habit of Professor Muldoon to let his patients loaf; but Mr. Peters, after the initial plunge, had needed no driving. He had worked hard at his cure then, because it was the job in hand. He worked hard now, under the guidance of Ashe, because, once he had begun, the thing interested and gripped him.
Ashe, who had expected continued reluctance, had been astonished and delighted at the way in which the millionaire had behaved. Nature had really intended Ashe for a trainer; he identified himself so thoroughly with his man and rejoiced at the least signs of improvement. ”

“ Out into such a night as this the audience dispersed: but the lights of home shone through the blinding storm near at hand, and buffeting with the fierce gusts of whirling snow and wind was only brave [54] sport for them. Not so, however, with Mr. Billy Muldoon. His home was three miles away, and though the prospect without was anything but pleasant, he prepared to face it like a man. His only precaution was to see that an old army canteen was filled afresh with the best whiskey the neighborhood afforded. ”

“ Muldoon demanded, gruffly, not offering to move. "I [8] are Muldoon, ther solid man, I am, an' I allow I kin lick any man on (hic) ther boat."
"That don'd make any difference. Dot young lady don'd vant you near her, und uff you don'd vas gone away, right off quick, I'll throw you oud—dot's der style off an excursionist I am!" cried the Jew. ”

“ Meanwhile Patsey Muldoon ran some ten or twelve squares, then paused for a bit of breath, mopping his face with his ragged shirt sleeve.
“My, ain’t they queer? not stunners exactly, but splendid, if they ain’t red. I d’know as Dil ever see sich a swad in her life. An’ Bess’s blue eyes’ll be like saucers. Oh, golly! how sweet!” burying his face in them. “Sich as these ain’t layin’ loose round Barker’s Court offen. I’ve lost a job mebbe, an’ Casey’ll crow if he gits one; but that ere left-hander wos science, that wos!” ”

“ Professionally, Muldoon's greatest virtue is that he is a champion "mixer" and "butter-in"; his greatest failing, that he is not reliable. Still he is spoken of among his confrérie as "a good man," and is never without employment. He has served upon a great multitude of newspapers in sundry and divers cities, towns, and hamlets, though never upon any one for a greater period than several months. His is a nature that requires constant change and variety. ”

“ When the sixty-seventh ballot had been taken, Muldoon, squinting in the miserable light, at the secretary’s figures, hit the table with the chair leg and said:
“On this ballot Conway receives 32, Underwood [253] 32, Simmons 5. There being no choice, you will prepare your ballots for another vote.”
Just then one of the Conway men from the Second Ward left his place, and touched one of Nolan’s fellows in the First Ward delegation—Donahue—on the shoulder. Donahue started. The man whispered in his ear, and returned to his delegation, keeping his eye on Donahue. Underwood looked on breathlessly. ”

“ We believe Muldoon sees in this mental picture a Brobdignagian placard on the back of the vehicle reading, "This is Muldoon!!!" That will give 'em something to talk about. It will be a fine revenge.
XI
EVERY INCH A MAN
IF there is a finer fellow in the world than Chester Kirk we have never seen him. ”

“ Starlight dressed up, and did the new chum young Englishman, eyeglass and all, over again, and repeated the conversation he had with the Inspector of Police about his friend Mr. Muldoon's illness, and the colts he recommended. It was grand, and the girls laughed till they cried again. Well, those were merry days; we DID have a bit of fun sometimes, and if the devil was dogging us he kept a good way out of sight. It's his way at the start when fellows take the downward track. ”

“ Isn’t your life dearer to me a hundred times than anyone else’s, let alone my own? Arrah! come, then, Murdough, dear, come! Don’t let us be wasting any more time. ’Tis dying, I tell you, she is{v.2-232}—dying fast. My God! who knows but ’tis in the death-grips she is this minute up on the rocks yonder, and not a creature nigh her, only Molly Muldoon, and we two not even started yet!’
Murdough Blake was really to be pitied! ”

“ Mulvaney was doing pack-drill—was compelled, that is to say, to walk up and down for certain hours in full marching order, with rifle, bayonet, ammunition, knapsack, and overcoat. And his offence was being dirty on parade! I nearly fell into the Fort Ditch with astonishment and wrath, for Mulvaney is the smartest man that ever mounted guard, and would as soon think of turning out uncleanly as of dispensing with his trousers.
"Who was the Sergeant that checked him?" I asked.
"Mullins, o' course," said Ortheris. "There ain't no other man would whip 'im on the peg so. But Mullins ain't a man. ”

“ Muldowney was flusthrated. But it's she was the woman that was quick at a bargain and handy at turning a penny. And now was her chanst.
“I was just sayin' that I'd sell him to Sattin for one pound tin this minute. An', be the same token, who are you, sir, that comes poppin' up out of the lonesome road like a jack-in-the-box, frightenin' daycint women out of their sivin wits? I said two pounds tin—that's what I said.”
“It's little matther what me name is, Sarah Muldowney,” spoke up the dark juntleman. “You'll be inthrojuiced te me proper enough afther a while. ”

“ Muldowney, her two fists on her hips.
“Ye did, ye runnygade!” roared Sattin—an' the breath came puffing out of him in blue smoke.
“Oh, will ye listen to what he's afther callin' me! Oh, thin, Pether Muldowney,” she says, turning bitther on her husband, “aren't ye the foine figure of a man to be standin' there in the middle of the road like a block of wood, listening to this sheep-stalin', undherhanded, thin-shanked antherntarian thrajuicing yer own wedded wife, and you not lifting a finger till him. If ye were worth two knots of sthraw ye'd break ivery bone in his body!” ”

“ Three pound tin, and not a fardin' less. An' how dare the loikes of you be callin' a daycint woman loike me a schaymer,” she shouted, purtindin' to be furious, and clappin' one hand in the other undher the nose of the stranger, an' she follying him as he backed step by step from her in the road. “Kape a civil tongue in your head while you're talking to a lady, whoever ye are, or I'll malevogue ye, so I will.”
“Hould where ye are, Mrs. Muldowney,” said the poor man, an' he backed up ag'in' a rock. ”

“ Didn't Joseph's brothers put sivin coats of paint on him an' sell him for a mess of porridge to the Agyptians? Answer me that!” Sattin cried, triumphant.
An' he swelled out his chist an' took a deep, proud breath.
“Oh, hasn't he the l'arnin'!” cried Sarah. “Why don't ye spake up, Pether Muldowney? Have ye the face to say that Lanty and Cornalius, thim two bagabones of brothers of yours, have more right to sell ye than I have?” ”

“ But, of course, you wouldn't want to be doing the loikes of that.”
Pether was on his two feet in an instant, ivery hair on his head brustlin'.
“Death alive, woman!” he cried. “You'll be the ind of me one of these days. Sthop that hugger-muggering in the corner, an' come on with me now, or he'll have some one else in our places.”
It took all the wit and injanuity of Sarah Muldowney to kape her husband Pether in the house till the mornin' of the morrow. ”

“ Mrs. Mulligan was a dear, kind woman who would have mothered the whole race if she could; one of those sweet Irish women whose unselfish deeds and thoughts are the flowers of our sordid human life. Her husband too was not unworthy of her; very simple and straight and hard-working, without a mean thought in him, a natural prey to good fellowship and songs and poteen.
On Friday afternoon I left New York for Chicago with Mr. Kendrick. ”

“ Start skinnin' that cat, Old Timer."
"It'll shore take a lot of skinnin'," growled Luke.
"Not if we uses 'brains an' more brains,'" jeered Johnny. "Th' young buck will now be heard shootin' off his mouth at th' council fire; an' you listen close, One Ijut!"
"Have yore say," said Luke, covering a loophole which showed signs of activity.
"We've got to move fast, before they learn that there's only two of us," said Johnny. "When them houses was built they was laid out with th' idea of men bein' in all of 'em; an' they'd be cussed hard to lick, then. But I reckon they're all in that one house. ”

“ The sergeant came stumbling down the hill, and between them they bore Darcy to the top and laid him down in the centre of the sangar, where the men clustered round like a flock of timid sheep to look at him.
“What's this?” demanded Father Callan. “What are ye? A bevy of school-girls lookin' at a frog. I thought ye were men of the Mullingars! Did ye never see a wounded man before? Have ye no shame that ye stand there crowding him? Is there no enemy to look at? They'll be friends over there on the hill maybe, and no need to watch them?” ”

“ Mulholland went on talking, it was as though a faint ray of light filtered down, reminding one that above the abyss there still lay solid ground with the sky overhead.
Then, very slowly, Rosamund realized that she had left the worst depths behind her. Never again would she know the blighting, searing agony of those first moments, and never again would she be as though she had not known them.
The initiation which life holds for most of us varies as strangely in its character as does the intensity of its effect upon us. ”

“ A very quiet place is Maldon—at one time a great centre of the corn trade, which, in consequence of railways, has shifted elsewhere—and which the Great Eastern Railway has brought within an hour and a half’s ride of London. The population is about six thousand, and, by the last census, it seems slightly to have declined. In the Town Hall are portraits of Queen Elizabeth and Queen Anne, Charles II. and George III., and Dr. Plume, a Maldon celebrity, of whose career I have no particulars, save that he was a clergyman, and presented a library of over 6,000 volumes to the town. ”

“ A short time later he peered over the rim of the chasm and chuckled, for a small fire, cunningly placed so as not to shine in the eyes of anyone in the houses, burned at the base of the great wall and made sufficient light to show a watching marksman every rock and hollow across that part of the canyon.
"They can set in th' house at a loophole an' keep a good watch," he muttered. "There ain't a man livin' could cross that patch of light. An' if they're guardin' one end they're guardin' th' others—an' I'll exchange compliments with one bunch." ”

“ But Fred wasted no time on argument, and took the upper hand.
“Take us or leave us, Lady Waldon, as we are! We’ve an unwritten rule that none of us has ever thought of breaking, that binds us to obey the member of the party whose plan we have adopted. On this occasion we have agreed to Mr. Yerkes’ plan, and you’ve got to obey him implicitly if you want to have part with us! We will not leave our men or Brown of Lumbwa behind, and we will not change the plan by a hair’s breadth! Will you or won’t you obey?” ”