Odette

“ But the story that Odette found the most wonderful of all, was the account of the child Bernadette beholding the Holy Virgin in the mountains. This, for her, was the most perfect story in the world, and with her quick, imaginative mind she would picture the little peasant girl Bernadette returning to her parents’ distant dwelling, when suddenly in a ray of glorious light, the Holy Mary herself appeared on the lonely mountain path, like a beautiful dream. ”

“ One evening, when little Odette lay awake in her deep four-posted bed, watching the firelight dance upon the strange tapestry figures that covered the walls, she heard Fortune, her old nurse, talking to one of the servants. She caught her aunt’s name, then her own, and without realizing that she was doing wrong, she listened to what Fortune said. ”

“ At these words, Paul felt his strength leaving him. He sank into a chair, and, burying his face in his hands, he wept. This proud, strong man wept in his despair like a little child. Tears were falling from Odette's eyes as she sought to take his hand. He pushed her away. Raising his head, he said with the composure of utter hopelessness: "Forgive me. I have not shed tears for many years. You do not love me. I shall die. With me, my heart is my life, and I know death will soon relieve me from my suffering. ”

“ Corinne had assumed an air of dumb consternation that relieved her from the responsibility of replying.
"This love affair between Odette and Claude, is whispered about on all sides. Of course, we do not believe in it; but all agree in saying that there must be some fire where there is so much smoke. We must do some thing, dearest Corinne, to save Odette, before it is too late. We must sacrifice every thing to friendship; but, what can we do?" ”

“ And Odette in her baby voice whispered back, “The Holy Virgin has sent me, in order to make you well!”
Presently the woman calmed herself, and sat staring at the shining river, as though she had quite forgotten that Odette was beside her.
“Tell me what is the matter,” Odette said at length, “and I will try to help you.”
The woman looked at her kindly: “How should you understand what is the matter?” she said, “You, who have lived always with good people, far away from the temptations of the world, what have you to do with the likes of us?” ”

“ Her lip curled with contempt; but without replying, she turned to the door.
"Odette, where are you going?" he cried, frightened at her silence.
"I despise you."
He sprang to her side and seized her in his arms.
"But I love you. Am I not yours, body and soul? Do you blame me for hesitating to resort to extremes? You wish to die, because you are a woman, and they always incline to tragedy. I wish to enjoy your love, and yet avoid any thing leading to scandal and disgrace." ”

“ He understood his chosen profession, law, as not one lawyer in a thousand does. His frank, beautiful eyes, and fine profile, made him remarkably handsome, and his goodness of heart was constantly being shown in numberless little instances. No poor person could apply to him in vain. Many a time had Odette surprised him in that simple, quiet charity that pleases most on high.
One evening, Paul sat down at the piano and sang in a charming, cultivated voice, a little Russian song.
Odette cried, "And are you a musician, too? You have every talent!"
"I have only one, and that is to love my wife." ”

“ Germaine replied.
Claude happened to have invited a few gentlemen to dinner, so the conversation was very gay and animated. Odette wished nothing more than to be left to her own thoughts; but Grenoble insisted upon discussing art with her, and she replied with some vivacity. As she became interested in the subject, her wit and sparkling sallies drew the attention of the whole party. Grenoble and the gentlemen applauded. She was inexpressibly beautiful—her nervous excitement flushing her delicate complexion and lending brilliancy to her glorious eyes. ”

“ Germaine was dumb with astonishment and consternation, then suddenly she comprehended, [117] and as Odette stopped, she said, "Oh, unhappy soul! You do not love your husband!"
"Oh, no, no!" cried Odette, terrified at her sister's keenness. "You are mistaken, I do love him."
"But not as you ought to love him," replied Germaine, as excited as Odette, "for then you could not be unhappy. Then you would appreciate your wonderfully happy lot in life, or, if you were in trouble you would appeal to him, not come to me." ”

“ For the first time her virgin heart suffered something like the pangs of jealousy. When she bade him good night, she had to close her eyes that he might not see the tender love and pity swimming in their depths.
"But you must not go home alone, Germaine," said Mme. Sirvin. "The carriage is ready. Paul will go with you."
"Oh, no!" she replied, quickly. "Odette will lend me her maid," and to Paul's polite insistance she gave a firm refusal. She had whispered, "Be brave," to Odette, and as she drove off, asked herself why life never unites those who would be happiest together. ”

“ Odette's person, indeed, no longer held any great place in it. When his eyes fell upon the photograph of Odette on his table, or when she came to see him, he had difficulty in identifying her face, either in the flesh or on the pasteboard, with the painful and continuous anxiety which dwelt in his mind. He would say to himself, almost with astonishment, "It is she!" as when suddenly some one shews us in a detached, externalised form one of our own maladies, and we find in it no resemblance to what we are suffering. ”

“ Odette came closer to her sister, seized her hands and said slowly: "You are right. I do not love him."
Germaine's eyes flashed with anger. What! his wife! belong to him! so tenderly loved, and no love for him in return! Oh, it was infamous! She groaned in her despair, but suddenly reproached herself that her sympathy was all for Paul. She conquered her anger, and with infinite tenderness said: "Then, dear one, I understand [118] your sufferings; but, hope! dearest Odette. Every one has hours of anguish and despair; but hope, and you will regain your lost love. Depend on me and on God!" ”

“ Claude stood quiet; then, in his eloquent, trembling voice, fascinating her with the tender brilliancy of his eyes, he continued: "You love me! You can not deny it. You belong to me. To me alone. I take all the shame, the disgrace, upon myself, because I worship you, because I can not live without you, because you alone are my life and my happiness. Do you not see how I, too, have fought and struggled against this love that [139] you have awakened in my heart. But all, all in vain. We must submit to our destiny. I love you."
Odette stood pale and trembling against the wall. ”

“ It was true that Swann had often reflected that Odette was in no way a remarkable woman; and in the supremacy which he wielded over a creature so distinctly inferior to himself there was nothing that especially flattered him when he heard it proclaimed to all the 'faithful'; but since he had observed that, to several other men than himself, Odette seemed a fascinating and desirable woman, the attraction which her body held for him had aroused a painful longing to secure the absolute mastery of even the tiniest particles of her heart. ”

“ When a woman is sunk as deep in crime and degradation as you are, the hour comes sooner or later when she is driven to seek shelter with her own family. I am not surprised."
Odette staggered back against the wall. Germaine knew all!
Her sister's cold, quiet tones pierced her [243] to the heart. What! would Germaine, too, drive her away!
She ran to her sister, and, seizing her hand, cried: "Do you hate me, too?"
Germaine released her hand without replying. Then the bitterness of death overcame Odette. She was alone, alone! Even Germaine repulsed her! But Germaine could not drive her away! ”

“ So far away, under your nurse's cap, I couldn't tell—you are pretty; I love you always. Oh, how sorry I am for you!"
Odette, surprised, embarrassed, still under the influence of the life she had been leading, spoke as every one did:
"There are so many of us who deserve to be pitied."
"No, Odette, no; I am not saying that. No doubt there are many widows and many young women whose husbands or lovers are maimed, disfigured, ruined. But there are not many who, before all that, have truly enjoyed life and love. You have known love. You have had a few years that are worth being regretted." ”

“ With what joy would he have hastened to spend his days with one or other of those humble folk with whom Odette kept up friendly relations, either with some ulterior motive or from genuine simplicity of nature. How willingly would he have fixed his abode for ever in the attics of some sordid but enviable house, where Odette went but never took him, and where, if he had lived with the little retired dressmaker, whose lover he would readily have pretended to be, he would have been visited by Odette almost daily. ”

“ She told Paulette about it when she next saw her. The good woman nodded approvingly. “She is clever, very clever, that Odette.”
“And if you could have seen how pretty she looked in the hat that was tried on her.”
“No doubt, no doubt, but beauty is only skin deep, and does not earn the bread and butter as readily as quick wit and busy hands.”
“Yet Odette is quite pretty; she has lovely eyes. She is not so good looking as Lucie, to be sure.”
“She should not be. She is a skinny little cabbage, but she will do. If she turns out as well as she has begun, she will not be half bad. ”

“ All had risen to their feet, pale and trembling. All understood that the tempest had broken, and that the whispers about Odette were to be answered in this fatal hour. Adèle's heart swelled with sympathy and compassion for the betrayed husband, yet she dared not reply to him. Her husband, however, bowed to the young man in token of silent assent, and he continued slowly, "Madame, I have discovered a most abominable crime. The woman that bears my name has a lover; that lover is my mother's husband. ”

“ Many a time have I spent the whole night in tears and misery! When we met again in the morning, you knew not that my smiling face was only a mask to cover the sorrow and despair within."
"Dear, dear mother! why did you not [182] appeal to me for sympathy long ago? Love is as cruel as it is blissful. I can imagine what I should suffer, if Odette were to drift away from me. But I do not think you need be so hopeless. Claude is true and good. You will always be his guiding star, as you have been in the past. We must forgive much to these excitable, artistic natures. ”

“ She had never forgiven Paul his desertion of her for Odette, at Carqueirannes; and here was an opportunity for revenge, both on him and on Odette.
Mme. de Bricourt continued: "He will never know, unless some accident or some devoted friend opens his eyes. If I were young and charming like you, dear child, I would not delay an instant in informing him of these slanders, so that he could refute them. I am too old to undertake the task. My fingers are not delicate enough to pour the balm into the wound; but you, dear Corinne, your gentle sympathy would heal the blow as it was made." ”

“ Odette started; then taking her sister's hand and trying to speak as tenderly as before: "Do you not remember my wish never to discuss religion?"
"I remember it; but I shall never agree to it. It would be a crime if I should! My poor blind sister, my greatest happiness on [78] earth is the hope of opening your eyes to the Light some day."
But as they loved each other too much to say any thing wounding, they left the subject immediately, and Germaine continued: "Now I have told you every thing, I must ask you the same questions you asked me. Tell me now about your love affairs." ”

“ Odette was like a clay which during two and a half years had been continually receiving the touches of a thumb or chisel, powerless to give her the form which an invisible artist desired her to take, and the last touch, removing an encumbering bit, had produced precisely the shape desired. ”

“ Such a constraint was against nature: Odette was in despair over it. She was prostrated till suddenly a peremptory reawakening of her childish gaiety and the need of movement threw her back again into her play.
Annette watched, divined, sometimes imagined, these miniature despairs, and she pityingly remembered her own. How she too had consumed herself with the fever of loving, desiring, tormenting herself, and for whom, for what? What purpose could this all serve? It was so out of proportion with the object, which was limited by the nature of things! What a squanderer of energy! ”

“ This life is a battle-field, and God pardons no deserters. Paul said to himself he would fight it out to the bitter end, would struggle and conquer. If even his contempt and hatred should not strangle his fatal love for Odette; if, in spite of all his efforts, he could not tear her from his heart, why, even then, life is not made for happiness alone, and he ought not to complain. ”

“ Take your choice."
"But, Odette, you are insane. Your ideas are entirely too dramatic. You never see such tragedies except on the stage. When we are so happy in our love, that is not the time to commit suicide!"
"But there is no other way of escape that I can discover. We have committed a [195] crime, and must abide the consequences. We can flee, it is true. I am ready now to take your arm and go out with you into the world, giving up home and reputation for your love. Come, shall we go?"
"No; that is impossible, too."
Odette was filled with contempt at his cowardly indecision. ”