Pincher

“ And so, in course of time, Pincher became rather less of a hobbledehoy and rather more of a seaman. Fresh air and regular exercise worked their usual wonders, for his pasty face became ruddy and his flabby muscles hard; while plenty of good beef, bread, and potatoes caused his spare figure to swell until he had to have his clothes let out by the ship's tailors. Moreover, he was no longer the meek and timid Pincher who had joined the ship a few months before. He was not behind-hand in using his fists, and had come to find his own level ”

“ With his own hands, and the help of Grasshopper, who did little but hold the nails and look on, Horace made a box for Pincher, while Abner dug his grave under a tree in the grove.
It was evening when they all followed Pincher to his last resting-place.
"He was a sugar-plum of a dog," said Prudy, "and I can't help crying."
"I don't want to help it," said Grace; "we ought to cry."
"What makes me feel the worst," said sober little Susy, "he won't go to heaven." ”

“ It came to pass that one wet afternoon, when there was no football, Pincher, feeling the want of exercise, was forced to take refuge in the skating-rink, and almost the first person he saw was Emmeline Figgins gliding round with the immaculate Wilfrid. ”

“ The commander seemed rather perplexed. 'Why is it that Parkin and yourself are such bitter enemies?' he asked, looking up with a frown. 'Why can't you behave yourselves like ordinary people?'
'It's like this 'ere, sir,' Pincher said, going off into a long-winded and very complicated explanation, which brought in Emmeline, the affair at the skating-rink, and how it had all happened. ”

“ Pincher. Ah, I've a good deal of influence in that line. Now, if there's anything Mrs. SCROOP might fancy—I know "perks" are not in your line, but the ladies, my boy, the ladies!
H. of D. (laughing) . You will have your joke, PINCHER. Well, oddly enough, the Missis was only saying last night she wanted a new piano—one of BROADWOOD's grands, for choice—and if you—
Pincher (mysteriously) . Leave it to me, my dear Sir, leave it to me. If Mrs. SCROOP isn't satisfied by this day week, why—never give me another line. Ha! ha! Good day, Mr. SCROOP! ”

“ Giggling and laughing with Mister Parkin, she is. Thinks it'll annoy me, I suppose.'
'She don't look up ter much,' Pincher agreed, glancing at Wilfrid's companion as they went past.
Emmeline sniffed. 'She's not. She's in Skeets the draper's. Early closing day to-day; that's why she's out. Never could stand them shoppies; they give themselves such airs. Can't think what he sees in her.'
'Carn't think why you likes Mister Parkin,' murmured Pincher, blurting out his thoughts without really meaning to. ”

“ The girl laughed. 'Thank you, Mister Billings,' she said; 'I am enjoying the best of health, and I hope you are the same.' She regarded Pincher out of the corner of her eye; and that youth, very ill at ease, shuffled nervously and began to get red in the face. He was always rather frightened of women.
'I'm quite fit, miss,' said Joshua. 'This 'ere's Mr Martin—Pincher Martin we calls 'im. Friend o' mine, 'e is. Brought 'im along o' me ter be interjooced.' He pushed the ordinary seaman forward by the arm. ”

“ But find the man who looks after the stores, get what you can, and do your best.'
Joshua saluted and walked off. Five minutes afterwards a long line of blankets and straw mattresses was floating gaily astern.
But their troubles had only started, for a quarter of an hour later Billings reappeared with Pincher Martin, and between them they dragged the resisting figure of one of the prisoners, a small, dark man with a pair of shifty black eyes. Pincher, Hargreaves noticed, was armed with a cutlass and a revolver, and displayed the latter weapon ostentatiously. ”

“ All this while Pincher's foot was growing no better. Aunt Louise said you could almost see the poor dog 'dwindle, peak, and pine.'
"But it's only his hurt," said Grace; "'tisn't a sickness."
"I reckon," returned Horace, sadly, "it isn't a wellness, neither." [Pg 136]
"Why not send for Mrs. Duffy?" suggested aunt Madge. "If any one can help the poor creature, it is she."
Mrs. Duffy was the village washerwoman, and a capital nurse. It was an anxious moment for little Horace, when she unwrapped the crushed paw, Pincher moaning all the while in a way that went to the heart. ”

“ I don't care—soldiers' hands ain't white, are they, Pincher?"
The pretty dog at Horace's feet shook his ears, meaning to say, [Pg 9] —
"I should think not, little master; soldiers have very dirty hands, if you say so."
"Come," said Grace, who was tired of gazing at the far-off star-land; "let's go down and see if Barbara hasn't made that candy: she said she'd be ready in half an hour."
They went into the library, which opened upon the balcony, through the passage, down the front stairs, and into the kitchen, Pincher following close at their heels. ”

“ Its interior, when he was allowed to investigate it personally, contained nothing but a faithful likeness of the girl's father—top-hat, side-whiskers, and all. Emmeline seemed rather amused. Pincher never quite got over it.
'Carn't yer get a hadvance o' money from th' paybob?' [22] Joshua suggested. "E ain't a bad old bloke so long as yer goes ter 'im wi' a yarn o' bein' desperate 'ard up, an' yer pore ole farther's 'ome bein' sold up, an' 'im an' yer ma an' the kids goin' ter th' work'ouse.'
'I've tried that,' Pincher answered glumly. 'Leastways, orl excep' the yarn wot yer said. ”

“ Now Pincher, who knew little of the army, cordially despised soldiers in his heart of hearts. He longed to cut out Tom Sellon, but this cursed lack of money at the critical moment had upset all his plans. He could have wept from sheer vexation, for there seemed no alternative to spending Christmas on board.
But it so happened that the railway company wished to know the number of men proceeding by rail the next morning, and at 'Quarters' that afternoon Tickle ordered all the men of the starboard watch of his division to fall in on the right. Pincher went with them. ”

“ Pincher knew full well that he had. 'We carn't do th' job without 'em,' he expostulated mildly.
'Can't 'elp that; you'll 'ave to do the best you can, or else borrow 'em off some one else. I ain't got no 'ammers nor chisels, I tells you!'
'But I see'd'——
'Can't 'elp what you see'd. I ain't got none; that's flat, ain't it?'
'Well, if yer really 'aven't got 'em I s'pose I'll 'ave ter go an' tell the bloke wot sent me ter borrow 'em,' said Martin with an air of resignation. ”

“ He was a tall man, with shaggy eyebrows, black hair, and a black beard, and, judging from the conversation occasionally heard issuing from the storeroom hatch, took his job very seriously indeed, and regarded most people, certainly all seamen, as disciples of Barabbas.
'Please, will yer let us 'ave the loan of a cold chisel an' a nammer?' once asked Pincher Martin.
The chief stoker glared. He had a rooted antipathy to all men who came to borrow tools, for as often as not they omitted to return them. ”

“ I ain't 'ere to get runnin' round arter seamen wot isn't no better'n a pack o' thieves!'
'I'll look out I returns 'em orl right,' said Pincher, retreating up the ladder with a broad grin all over his face.
'I'll look out you pays for 'em if you don't!' was the chief stoker's final remark.
Pincher retired chuckling, with the tools in his possession. He did not feel the least bit uneasy. Gartin's bark was always worse than his bite, and nobody ever took him really seriously.
Hills, the petty officer telegraphist, was a burly, powerful-looking man of average height. ”

“ I'm sure no one would ever do murdering twice. Think of the blood and things, and what you would see when you woke up in the night! I shouldn't mind being a detective to lie in wait for a gang of coiners, now, and spring upon them unawares, and secure them—single-handed, you know, or with only my faithful bloodhound."
She stroked Pincher's ears, but he had gone to sleep because he knew well enough that all the suet pudding was finished. He is a very sensible dog.
"You always get hold of the wrong end of the stick," Oswald said. "You can't choose what crimes you'll be a detective about. ”

“ It's orl right ter talk th' same as yer do, but yer don't know wot it's like same as me an' Tubby.'
'But you an' Tubby ain't never bin in action,' Pincher protested.
'No, we ain't,' said Billings. 'But we ain't 'ot-'eaded young blokes same as you. We thinks abart things, an' looks at things more serious like. We doesn't mind fightin' w'en it comes; but we ain't anxious ter fight 'cos we likes it—see? I reckons no bloke really does, an' them as talks most gen'rally does least w'en it comes ter th' time. ”

“ But ole Pincher, who was chevyin' about, starts this ere boss outer the pumpkin vines; they're death on pumpkins, yer know. The dorg made a dash at 'im, an', by jings! he did streak. Greased lightnin' wasn't in it with 'im. I tried to draw a bead on 'im, but, what with the dusk an' the bushes an' stumps, I couldn't get a good line. I banged away one barril, but was yards off, I reckon.
"Pincher, he disappeared in a brace of shakes, an' I made sure the vermin ud get through a 'ole in the fence. I was makin' for 'ome, 'cause the cockies, yer know, 'ad all gone. ”

“ But he never had his revenge; for, though he had a shrewd suspicion that Martin was somehow responsible for his discomfiture, he could never fix the blame on him for certain. The tables were turned at last, and Pincher suffered no further inconvenience at the hands of Peter Flannagan. The end had justified the means. Joshua Billings, A.B., was an adept at dealing with a young and bumptious ordinary seaman who made himself objectionable.
CHAPTER III.
WORK AND PLAY. I.
'Nice sort o' craft, isn't she?' growled the first lieutenant, eyeing the grimy collier lying alongside. ”

“ Those of other nationalities were either 'Dagoes' or 'niggers,' and which of the two terms was the more opprobrious was rather a moot point.
'An' wot abart our army?' came an irrelevant remark from Pincher, who happened to be listening. 'I knows a bloke wot's in th' Black Watch—lance-corporal 'e is—an' 'e reckons our army's bin properly gingered up an' is properly on th' top line.'
'Th' men is orl right,' said M'Sweeny mournfully, 'an' so is the orficers; but we ain't got enuf of 'em. ”

“ Off went the mail at a canter down the dark road: the lamps gleaming brightly, and the horn awakening all the echoes, far and wide.
"Go your ways," said Pinch, apostrophizing the coach: "I can hardly persuade myself but you're alive, and are some great monster who visits this place at certain intervals, to bear my friends away into the world. You're more exulting and rampant than usual to-night, I think: and you may well crow over your prize; for he is a fine lad, an ingenuous lad, and has but one fault that I know of: he don't mean it, but he is most cruelly unjust to Pecksniff!" ”

“ Pinch, but Mr. Pinch is a fellow-creature, my dear; Mr. Pinch is an item in the vast total of humanity, my love; and we have a right, it is our duty, to expect in Mr. Pinch some development of those better qualities, the possession of which in our own persons inspires our humble self-respect. No," continued Mr. Pecksniff". "No! Heaven forbid that I should say, nothing can be expected from Mr. Pinch; or that I should say, nothing can be expected from any man alive (even the most degraded, which Mr. Pinch is not, no really) ”

“ Pinch's thoughts and wishes centred, one bright frosty morning: for with this gallant equipage he was about to drive to Salisbury alone, there to meet with the new pupil, and thence to bring him home in triumph.
Blessings on thy simple heart, Tom Pinch, how proudly dost thou button up that scanty coat, called by a sad misnomer, for these many years, a "great" one; and how thoroughly as with thy cheerful voice thou pleasantly adjurest Sam the hostler "not to let him go yet," dost thou believe that quadruped desires to go, and would go if he might! ”

“ In the second clause of the latter alternative Sparks with admirable sagacity applied the most delicate test that could be applied to the matter. He brings the dilemma down to this: The Committee must have used Pinckney's draught or Pinckney must have sketched his draught from the Committee's; and more than that, he must have sketched it "in so artful a manner as to make it seem the original."
When one instrument is fashioned after another the natural and even unconscious action of the mind is to correct and improve. It is a going forward toward a desirable result. ”

“ But Pinkel has a smooth tongue, and he can get the better of any woman, old or young.’
‘Then bid him go this very night,’ cried the king; ‘and if he brings me the lantern I will make him one of the chief men about my person.’
Pinkel was much pleased at the thought of his adventure, and without more ado he borrowed a little boat which lay moored to the shore, and rowed over to the island at once. It was late by the time he arrived, and almost dark, but he knew by the savoury smell that reached him that the witch was cooking her supper. ”

“ In 1787 while Pinckney was in the full possession of his youthful power and fortune and all those things which give a man a prestige above his fellows, fate seems to have leaned forward and touched the instrument which was the supreme work of his life, the Draught of the Constitution of the United States—and to have set a seal upon the lips of every man who could testify as to its contents. ”

“ Pinch, only too happy to be useful, went off directly.
"You will excuse Thomas Pinch's want of polish, Martin," said Mr. Pecksniff, with a smile of patronage and pity, as soon as he had left the room. "He means well."
"He is a very good fellow, sir."
"Oh, yes," said Mr. Pecksniff". "Yes. Thomas Pinch means well. He is very grateful. I have never regretted having befriended Thomas Pinch."
"I should think you never would, sir."
"No," said Mr. Pecksniff". "No. I hope not. Poor fellow, he is always disposed to do his best; but he is not gifted. ”