L'Abbé Prévost

“ Words fail to describe my despair at this intelligence.
"Must it ever be thus?" I cried; "must I be always singled out for extremes, even in my misfortunes?"
"Alas!" was Manon's response, "such unhappy lives as ours are surely not worth the pains we take to preserve them! Let us die here, at Havre, dear Chevalier! Let us end our miseries at once and forever in the grave! Why carry the heavy burden of our woes to an unknown land, where the most horrible sufferings doubtless await us, since it has been chosen as a place of punishment for me. ”

“ The distress which this scene with Tiberge had caused me was soon dispelled by Manon's caresses. We continued to lead a life that was all made up of love and pleasure. With the increase of our wealth came redoubled affection. Venus and the Goddess of Fortune had no slaves happier or more loving than we. Why call this world an abode of misery, when it can offer the enjoyment of such exquisite delights as these? Alas! Because they have the drawback of passing away all too soon. What other felicity would mortals desire, if such joys as these were of a kind to last forever? ”

“ I said to her tenderly, "false and inconstant Manon! Where shall my reproaches begin? I see you pale and trembling before me, and I am still so readily moved by the slightest pain you suffer, that I dread to distress you too deeply by my rebukes. But, Manon, believe me, my heart is pierced with anguish at your disloyalty. Such blows as this can be dealt a lover with only one object—and that, his death! This is the third time, Manon; too well have I counted them for it to be possible that I should forget! Now the hour has come for you to consider, once and for all, what your choice is to be ”

“ Thenceforth America was, in my eyes, an abode of perfect bliss.
"Whoever would taste the true delights of love," I would often say to Manon, "should come to New Orleans. Here it is that the tender passion holds its sway, unruffled by self-interest, by jealousy, or by inconstancy. Our fellow-countrymen come to these shores in quest of gold: little do they dream of the far more precious treasures which we have discovered here!" ”

“ Her mind, her heart, her gentleness, and her beauty, were all links in a chain by which it was so sweet to be bound, that I should have asked for no other happiness than to be held captive by it forever. Yet, by a terrible caprice of fate, the very thing which might have given me complete felicity is that which has brought me to the verge of despair! I am at this moment the most miserable of men, in consequence of that self-same constancy from which I might justly have expected a life of supreme contentment and the most perfect rewards of love! ”

“ The remainder of the day seemed to me intolerably long; but night came at last, and we took a coach and drove to within a short distance of the gates of the Hôpital. We had not waited there many minutes before Manon and her escort made their appearance. The door of our coach was open; they hurriedly leaped in, and I clasped my beloved mistress to my heart. She was trembling like a leaf.
"Where shall I drive?" asked the coachman.
"Drive to the uttermost ends of the earth!" cried I, "and carry me to some spot where I can never again be separated from Manon!" ”

“ Look where I would, I saw no hope of safety for either of us.
"Manon, what is to be done?" I asked her, as soon as her strength had somewhat revived. "Alas! what is to become of us? For me there is nothing left but flight. You, if you will, can remain at New Orleans. Yes, it is better so! Remain here, where happiness may yet await you; while I go far away from you to court death amid savage tribes or in the jaws of some ferocious beast!" ”

“ It seemed to me so impossible that Manon could have been unfaithful to me, that I feared to wrong her even by a suspicion. I adored her—that was certain; I had given her no greater proofs of my love than I had received of hers; why, then, should I accuse her of being less sincere and constant than myself? What reason could she have had for deceiving me? But three hours ago she had lavished her tenderest caresses upon me, and had welcomed mine with rapturous delight. I knew my own heart no better than I knew hers. "No! No!" I said again; "Manon cannot be false; it is impossible! ”

“ Finally we agreed upon six francs, which was all I had left in my purse.
On our way I did my best to console Manon, but, in my secret heart, I was overwhelmed with despair. I should have resolved upon suicide, had I not held in my arms the one treasure that made life worth living. This thought alone gave me courage.
"Come what may," I said to myself, "I at least possess her now—she loves me—she is mine! Let Tiberge talk as he will; this is no mere delusive phantom of happiness. ”

“ Prove beyond all question that the delights of love are fleeting; that they are forbidden; that indulgence in them will be followed by eternal punishment; prove—what will, perhaps, impress me even more—that the sweeter and more enchanting they are, the more bountiful will Heaven be in rewarding a sacrifice so hard to make; but at least admit that, while human hearts beat in our bosoms, these same joys of love constitute the most perfect felicity we can know upon this earth ! ”

“ My death would have been a gain to me alone; but Manon required that I should live to rescue, to help, and to avenge her. To that task I inwardly vowed that I would devote the whole strength of my being.
The Warder tended me with as much solicitude as though he had been my dearest friend. I accepted his kindly assistance with the deepest gratitude.
"Alas!" I sighed, "my sorrows do, then, move you to compassion! I am abandoned by every one else. My own father, it seems, is one of the most relentless of my persecutors. Not a soul is there who pities me, except yourself. ”

“ Yes, let us die!" she again besought me; "or do you, at least, put me to death, and then seek a happier lot in the arms of some more fortunate mistress!"
"Nay, nay, sweet soul!" I replied; "I ask no better fate than to be allowed to share your misfortunes."
Her words made me tremble, for I feared that her spirit had been crushed under the weight of her afflictions. I forced myself to assume a more hopeful manner, in order to dispel from her mind these melancholy thoughts of death and despair. ”

“ Not even the memory of Manon could add anything to the intensity of my grief: at least, it mingled with it only as a feeling which lay back of this new anguish; and the dominant emotions in my breast were shame and mortification. The full force of these sentiments is not known to every one. The ordinary run of men are susceptible to the influence of only five or six passions, in the round of which they pass their lives, and to which all their mental agitations may be reduced. Deprive them of love and hate, pleasure and pain, hope and fear, and they virtually cease to feel at all. ”

“ Manon loves me; ah! do I not know it well? He must have menaced her, dagger in hand, to force her to desert me. What is there that he would not have done to tear so sweet a mistress from my arms? Can it be possible, just Heaven! that Manon has betrayed—has ceased to love me?"
As I repeatedly declared my intention of returning to Paris forthwith, and started to my feet again and again with that purpose in view, my father became convinced that, as long as my present transports of grief continued, nothing that he could say would have any effect in preventing me. ”

“ The resolution she had taken gave me far more pleasure than the prospect of gaining five thousand francs. I was encouraged to believe that my heart was not yet lost to all sense of honor, when I felt how deeply it rejoiced at escaping from infamy. But I was born for short-lived joys and lasting sorrows. Fortune rescued me from the brink of one precipice only to hurl me over another.
When I had evinced my delight at her change of purpose by a shower of kisses, I told Manon that M. Lescaut must be informed of it, so that our measures might be taken in concert. ”

“ Nature casts but few in the same mould as mine! But tell me this, at least; have you ever thought of that loving heart with regret? How far am I to rely on this revival of affection which has brought you back to-day to console it? You are more beautiful than ever—that I see only too well; but, in the name of all the pangs I have suffered for your sake, tell me, Manon, my lovely girl, whether you will be more constant also? ”

“ I am only too well satisfied and happy as long as my dearest Manon does not cast me out of her heart. But," added I, forgetting for the moment the actual state of affairs, "all-powerful Manon—you who can at pleasure mete out to me joy or sorrow—now that I have propitiated you by my submission and by these evidences of my repentance, may I not be suffered to tell you of the misery and anguish to which I am a prey? May I not learn from your lips what my doom is to be to-day, and whether my sentence of death is to be irrevocably pronounced by your passing this night in my rival's arms?" ”

“ My presence and the courteous attentions of Monsieur de T——— soon dissipated any lingering sadness that Manon may have felt.
"Let us forget all our past troubles, dear heart," I said to her on my return, "and begin a new life of greater happiness than we have ever known. Love is a kind master, after all. The pleasures which he gives us more than outweigh all the trials that Fortune can send."
Our supper was a scene of perfect joy. I was prouder and happier with Manon and my hundred pistoles than the richest Partisan [1] of Paris amid his heaps of gold. ”

“ May your guilty pleasures vanish like shadows; may your good fortune and your money be lost to you irretrievably; and, as for yourself, may you be left, destitute and alone, to realize the vanity of those joys which have so madly infatuated you! Then, and only then, will you find me ready to love and to aid you. For the time being, I break off all intercourse with you, in detestation of the life you are leading!"
This apostolic tirade he delivered to me in my own room, in Manon's presence, and then rose to depart. ”

“ This happiness, then, which you extol so highly, is mingled with innumerable ills; or, to speak more accurately, is but a tangled web of miseries, through which men struggle toward felicity. Now, granting that the force of imagination can transmute into joys these very evils themselves, from the fact that through them may be attained the coveted goal of happiness—why should you regard as contradictory and irrational an entirely similar spirit in the course that I pursue? I love Manon: I struggle onward, through countless sufferings, toward a life of happiness and peace at her side. ”

“ No one who reflects over the precepts of morality can fail to be amazed at observing how they are at once both honored and neglected; or to ask himself the reason of this strange capriciousness of the human heart, which leads it to delight in ideals of virtue and perfection, only to deviate from them in practice. Let any one of a fair degree of intelligence and cultivation consider what is the most frequent subject of his conversations, or even of his solitary meditations. He will readily perceive that they nearly always turn upon some moral theme. ”

“ She was extremely pretty; and I could have wished that she were beautiful enough to make me forswear honor and constancy in my turn. But hers were not those bright and melting eyes, that divinely moulded form, that complexion of love's own coloring—in a word, that inexhaustible wealth of charms which Nature had lavished upon the faithless Manon. ”

“ I implored, as I clung to his knees, "do not harden your heart against the son who lies weeping before you now! Your son—yes, think of that! Think of my mother, alas! whom you loved so tenderly! Would you have suffered her to be torn from your arms? Nay! you would have defended her to the very death! And do you suppose that others have not hearts of their own, as you have? Surely that breast cannot be utterly inhuman which has once known the sweetness of love and the bitterness of grief!" ”

“ I have reached the climax of my sorrows, and all that remains for me is to resign myself to them and to close my eyes, as I now do, to every gleam of hope. May Heaven reward you for your kindness to me! Farewell! I am going to help my evil destiny to consummate my ruin, by hurrying to meet it of my own free-will!"
He endeavored in vain to persuade me to return to Paris. I entreated him to allow me to carry out my resolve, and to leave me at once, lest the Archers might still imagine that we intended to attack them. ”

“ Religion brought its aid to my own reflections, and I conceived for this world a deep and unspeakable contempt. Can you divine," he added, "what it is that still keeps me in it, and prevents my seeking a life of solitude? It is solely my warm attachment to you. I know your excellent qualities of heart and mind. There is no goodness of which you might not make yourself capable. ”

“ Deeply enamored as I was of Manon, she succeeded in persuading me that she felt no less tenderly toward me. So little restraint did we place upon our caresses, that we had not even patience to wait until we were alone to indulge in them. Our postilions and the inn-keepers along the road stole wondering glances at us; and their surprise at seeing such passionate love-making between two children of our age was very apparent. ”

“ Could there be anything more humiliating than to go and lay bare one's destitution to a stranger, and beg for charity from him? To be capable of such an act one must have a soul so sordid as to prevent one's realizing the degradation it would involve, or possess a Christian humility which, by the very excess of its nobility, lifts one above any such sense of shame. As I, for my part, was neither devoid of all self-respect, nor, on the other hand, a good Christian, I would have sacrificed half the blood in my veins to escape such humiliation.
"There is Tiberge, too," I soliloquized ”

“ We have been endowed with intelligence, with taste, and with fine feeling—and all, alas! to what end? While, on the other hand, how many ignoble souls, worthy of no better fate than ours, are to be seen in the enjoyment of every favor that fortune has to bestow!"
Bitter as were these reflections, they were cheerful in comparison with the fears that were agitating my mind with regard to the future. My heart was sick with dread of what might befall Manon. ”

“ That human resolutions should be liable to change has never been a matter of astonishment to me; they are born of one passion—another passion may destroy them; but when I reflect on the sacred nature of those which had led me to St. Sulpice, and on the inward joy which Heaven allowed me to taste in carrying them out, I am appalled at the ease with which I was able to break them. ”

“ Come! Let us decide whether fortune is to favor you or me!"
"You are right," I responded; "nothing but death can end our differences."
We withdrew to a spot some hundred yards outside of the town, where we crossed our swords. I wounded him and disarmed him almost simultaneously. He was so enraged at his mishap that he refused either to beg me for his life, or to renounce his claims to Manon. Perhaps I had every right to deprive him of both at one thrust, but a generous blood never belies itself, and I threw him back his sword. ”

“ Do you suppose that weak mortals can indulge in tenderness while they lack bread to eat? Hunger, I fear, would lead me into some fatal mistake; some fine day I should breathe my last when I thought to heave only a love-sigh. I adore you; rest assured of that; but leave the management of our fortunes to me for awhile. Woe be to him who gets entangled in my meshes! for I seek only to bring wealth and happiness to my Chevalier.
"My brother will give you tidings of your Manon, and will tell you how she wept at the necessity of leaving you." ”

“ Tiberge, though only three years my elder, was a young man of mature judgment and very virtuous habits of life. He loved me with a deep affection such as is rarely to be met with. The beauty of Mademoiselle Manon, my eagerness to escort her, and the evident pains I had been at to get rid of him, had all combined to awaken some suspicion of my infatuation in his mind. ”

“ The innocence of our occupations and the undisturbed tranquillity of our lives served insensibly to revive our early feelings of piety. Manon had never been an irreligious girl; nor was I to be classed among those reckless libertines who glory in adding godlessness to depravity of morals. Youth and its passions had been to blame for all our past transgressions, and now experience was beginning to supply the place of age for us, producing the same results that increasing years would have brought about. ”

“ Our sighs, our broken exclamations, the countless endearing names that fell from her lips and my own, and were repeated again and again with fond reiteration—such, for many minutes, were the elements of a scene which M. de T——— contemplated with unfeigned emotion.
"You fill me with envy," he said, as he offered us seats. "I would resign the most glorious career that Fortune could offer me to possess a mistress as lovely, as passionately devoted as yours." ”

“ This was, to appeal to my friend Tiberge, on whose continued affection and sympathy I felt that I could always count. There is no higher tribute to virtue than the confidence with which we always turn to those whom we know to possess integrity of character. We feel that we run no risk; if they are not always in a position to offer us actual assistance, we are sure, at least, of obtaining kindness and consideration at their hands. ”

“ My feelings may be summed up as a perpetual alternation between love and hatred, between hope and despair, according to the aspect under which Manon presented herself to my mind. At one moment I thought of her only as the loveliest of women, and pined to see her once more; at another I saw in her nothing but a heartless and unfaithful mistress, and registered vow upon vow that I would seek her out only to punish her. ”

“ Can you pretend that what you call the happiness of virtue is exempt from sufferings, from disappointments, and from cares? In what category, then, do you place the dungeon and the cross, all the horrors of torture and persecution at the hands of tyrants? Do you think, with the Mystics, that whatever torments the body is bliss for the soul? ”

“ She covered my hands with kisses, but did not change her attitude.
"Inconstant Manon!" continued I, "faithless and ungrateful girl! What of your promises and of your vows? What of the love you swore to me this very day, thrice fickle and cruel one? Just Heaven! Is a perfidious woman to call you thus solemnly to witness, and then to mock at you like this? Is perjury then, to be rewarded, while faith and constancy are left in despair?" ”

“ On the other hand, I considered that she had scarcely been out of my sight since we had come to Paris. In all our occupations, our walks, and our amusements, we were invariably together. Great Heavens! a moment's separation would have been an intolerable affliction for us. It had become a necessity of our lives to be constantly interchanging assurances of our mutual love; to forego that sweet privilege would have been torture to us. I could thus conceive of scarcely a moment during which any one but myself could have been in Manon's thoughts. ”

“ After long and anxious reflection, I at last resolved to go to the Governor and make an effort to move him by appealing to his sense of honor, and to the remembrance of my unvarying respect for him and of the friendship he had hitherto professed for me.
Manon tried her best to dissuade me from my purpose.
"You are rushing to certain death," she said, with tears in her eyes; "they will murder you, and I shall never see you again. If you must die, I will die first!" ”

“ On our way home I confided my newly conceived plan to Lescaut.
"I may fairly assume," said I, "that this M. de T———'s son, who is rich and well-connected, has, in common with most young fellows of his age, more or less taste for pleasure. He is hardly likely to be a woman-hater, or such a milksop as to refuse his aid in a love affair. It is my design to enlist his interest in Manon's release. If he be a man of honor and feeling, he will lend us his assistance out of pure generosity. ”

“ I swear to you, my dear Chevalier, that you are the idol of my heart, and that in all this world there is not another man whom I could ever love as I love you. But do you not see, my poor dear soul, that in the plight to which we are now reduced, constancy is a foolish virtue? ”