Anonymous

“ Strange it is, but not less strange than true, that Englishmen in general have a great itch for variety; and according to our promissary note in the preface, we here present them with one of the finest, fattest figures as fully finished for fun and frolick as fertile fancy ever formed; fraught with every melting charm that can be found in the field of Venus, for- tunate for the true lovers of fat, should fate throw them into the possession of such full grown. ”

“ Untutored by art, and taught only by powerful nature, she charms in enjoyment; and as she has not, from over frequency, been rendered callous to the joys of love, she repays every rapture with interest, and meets the blissful moment with a tepid flood of delight. ”

“ She darted a sweet kiss,
The wanton prelude to a farther bliss;
Such as might kindle frozen appetite,
And fire e'en wasted nature with delight.
She is really a fine girl, with a lovely fair complexion, a most engaging be- haviour and affable disposition. She has a most consummate skill in reviving the dead; for as she loves nothing but active life, she is happy when she can restore it: and her tongue has a double charm, both when speaking and when silent ”

“ She is rather darkly complexioned, with fine hazel eyes, is short, and inclinable to be lusty, and as pretty a leg and foot as man would wish to divide, which any good natured man, with two guineas in his pocket that he has no objection to spare, may lie between the whole livelong night, and taste all the raptures he can possibly expect to meet with, in one as yet so untutored in the art. ”

“ This accomplished nymph
has just attained her eighteenth year, and fraught with every perfection, enters a volunteer in the field of Venus. She plays on the piano forte, sings, dances, and is mistress of every Manoeuvre in the amorous contest that can enhance the coming pleasure; is of the middle stature, fine auburn hair, dark eyes, and very inviting countenance, which ever seems to beam delight and love. In bed she is all the heart can wish, or eye admire, every limb is symmetry, every action under cover truly amorous ”

“ Enjoyment is the most exquisite of human pleasures; ah! what a pity it is so short in duration. Nature wound up to the highest pitch, after striking twelve, immediately descends to poor solitary one: these are the reflections that na- turally arise on enjoying Betsy. Though she is but little, she is an epitome of de- light, a quintescence of joy, which by the most endearing chemistry, give all spirit, and unite in small compass, the efficacy of a much larger bulk. Her lovely fair tresses and elegant countenance beat alarms to love ”

“ Next take a view of nature centrally; no folding lapel, no gaping orifice, no horrid gulph is here, but the loving lips tenderly kiss each other, and shelter from the cold a small but easily stretched passage, whose depth none but the blind boy has liberty to fathom ”

“ She is framed for love, and will melt like a snow ball in the sun. She will embrace you with un- feigned rapture, open all her charms to receive your manly tribute, and perhaps appoint another meeting. ”

“ She may, perhaps, at first attempt to chide, but bolt the door, and then all chiding ceases; an experienced sofa then lends its aid; her turning limbs en- hance the coming pleasure, and sighing kisses crown the golden minute; her fair complexion charms the heart; her wic- ked blue eyes enchant the soul; her well made form tempts the touch; her lovely voice charms the ear, and her glossy flaxen hair is worth a guinea an hour to look at. ”

“ It is not surprising, the notice which a lady, who as long erected her standard in the field of pleasure, attracts from the veterans in the same field. This is the case of our heroine, now about twenty-eight years of age, tall, rather lusty, and a figure that speaks true symmetry; hand- some, a slight tinge of the brunette in her complexion, with very fine dark hair, fine hazel eyes, very dark, and finely arch'd eye brows; indeed, she has been a very fine woman, and is far from being in her wane of beauty ”

“ The fresh country bloom still remains unimpaired, the rural vivacity is still the same, and united with a beauti- ful skin and complexion, we can present our readers with a temper and disposition that good nature and affability must call their own. Her teeth are regular, and very white, her eyes of the most lively hazel, which, without the least fire from Bacchus, shoot the most powerful glances; her hair a lovely brown, her breasts are small and never have been sufficiently subjected to manual pressure to deprive them of their natural firmness ”

“ Our damsel is therefore the most agreeable looking girl when asleep; in bed she is truly amorous, and a charming sportswoman, and when one strain is finished, cries, da capo, with a good grace, for which she expeas five guineas. ”

“ At present she is in good keeping by a citizen, not many miles from Fleet Market, and having been only three months under his care, has not yet been sufficiently broke for the sport, hope therefore that some of our good friends will, by properly supplying the citizen's place at those hours his employment obliges him to be absent, instill into her such principles that will at least raise her spunk to proof; but' altho' young, she can well dispense with a little more pocket money than her keeper allows, and always expects twice the number of pieces that her paramour gives proofs of his manhood. ”

“ One guinea, is then, too poor a re- compence for such merit; and it is to be deplored, that a girl, who should only exchange love for love, should be obliged to take payment for what is ever beyond price: in bed, she is by far the better piece,
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piece, and is up to every manoeuvre necessary to restore life, and every luscious move to destroy; hands, tongue, lips, legs, and every part of the busy frame is engaged at once in the pleasing task, and all to provoke and bring the soul breathing conflict to the last extatic gush. ”

“ A pretty, little, lively, fair complex- ioned girl, with a dainty leg and foot, and as pretty a pair of pouting bubbies as ever went against a man's stomach, and one who well deserves the attention that is paid her by every man capable of knowing her value. She is pleasing, though fond, and can make wantonness delightful; every part assists to bring on the momomentary delirium, and then each part combines to raise up the fallen mem- ber, to contribute again to repeated rapture ”

“ Her dialect does not tell us she is a native of Scotland, tho' her father, who is an half pay officer, yet resides there; at this period when the powers of love or lust are at their full bloom, necessity and inclination together, prompted her to become a dancer on our cyprian stage, and is very desirous of pleasing every man that makes her his partner, and is so very careful of her health, that before she receives her guinea, she must examine every one of her partner's legs. ”

“ This agreeable girl has a pretty face suffused with a good complexion, dark penetrating eyes, hair of the same hue, which waves in glossy ringlets o'er her shoulders, a set of good teeth, and a stature of the exact medium between a giant and a pigmy; she has not been more than eight months in this grand mart of universal commerce, and now stands out for a settlement from some of her warm admirers, which (being at the rich
( 86 ) rich age of twenty, the prime of female charms, when every zeal that can enhance enjoyments is at its full zenith) she con- cludes ought to be a good one. ”

“ The raven coloured tresses of Miss J—ns—n are pleasing, and are charac- teristics of strength and ability in the wars of Venus. Indeed this fair one is not afraid of work, but will undergo a great deal of labour in the action; she sings, dances, will drink a chearful glass, and is a good companion. She has such a noble elasticity in her loins, that she can cast her lover to a pleasing height, and receive him again with the utmost dex- terity. Her price is one pound one, and for her person and amorous qualifications she is well worth the money. ”

“ Some ladies prefer the profit, others the pleasure; some may divide it equally in their choice, and perhaps their may be, among Venus's tribe, the lady found almost indifferent to either; this lady however we may venture to affirm is not of the last stamp; she is a fine inviting looking girl, with very lively Cupidinous eyes and a good complexion, and scarcely ever to be found but in a good humour ”

“ She is a very luscious looking piece, with dark eyes and hair, a very good complexion, tall, and genteely formed, with a charming slender leg, and a pretty foot, which she never troubles the gentlemen to stoop very low to have a perfect view of. ”

“ We can but pity our little girl in question for being so unhappily situated; she is a charming sprightly lass, and so fond of kissing, and so perfect a mistress in the art, that she will frequently force nature to a dissolving pitch, before the right parts come in proper contract; her liveliness of disposition, and activity in the sports of Venus, make her so desi- rable a bed-fellow, that her magic ring is as much sought after as the philoso- pher's stone ”

“ She is about twenty- three, light hair and eyes, a good skin, and size compleatly adapted for this season, and which seems to please the greatest part of her friends and customers, who think two arms full of joy twice as good as one; she is remarkably good- natured and affable to those who favour her with a visit, and will take almost any sum rather than turn her visitor away ”

“ She is a fine lusty well looking lady; her eyes and hair are dark; her teeth good, and her age about thirty; she sees much company, and none depart unsatis- fied, it being her study to please, and her pride to be thought worthy of a second visit. ”

“ This humble girl is thankful for a crown, and will testify her gratitude in whatever way you chuse, she is willing to appear in the dress of pure nature, as her skin is without spot or blemish, her breasts small and plump, and her limbs well turned and well pro- portioned. ”

“ The cordial reception he meets therein, with the tide of flowing bliss, more delicious than the boasted nectar of the gods, engulph the raptured soul, and set the lovely owner of the premisses, above nine tenths of the green gew- gaws that flutter about the town. If discipline forms the soldier in the wars of Mars, experience finishes the female combatant in the skirmishes of Venus. ”

“ She is of a good size, and every limb well proportioned. Knowing the beauty of her hand and arm, she takes particular care they shall not pass un- noticed for want of being seen; convinced of the delicate proportion of her leg and foot, she is very careful their covering shall not discredit them, and has a pleasing knack of keeping them con- stantly exposed to sight; and being taught by the eyes of her admirers the influence her neck and breasts command, she covers them with so thin a veil, that the smallest blue branch is easily covered; her eyes she cannot hide, nor does she wish it ”

“ Five shillings is her price, and she earns it with great industry: but if her lover seems capable of prolonging the delicious banquet, and is remarkably well provided, she will abate weight for inches. Her chief and best customers are sea officers, whom she particularly likes, as they do not stay long at home, and always return fraught with love and presents. ”

“ She is very good na- tured, sings a good song, and is in bed a charming companion, particularly at this season of the year; for she is desirous of having every part in contact the whole night. In regard to price, she has one fixed rule; she always measures a gentle- man's may-pole by a standard of nine inches, and expects a guinea for every inch it is short of full measure. ”

“ Here likewise with our charmer as a partner would he be equally delighted; here she displays such a leg and foot, and with so much activity, sprightliness, and judgment, that none can see but admire, admire but love; with all these qualifi- cations, say you, she cannot be a bad bedfellow; she has equal merits in bed, and pleases there with equal certainty. She is neither covetous, nor will she sink below what her real merits deserve ”

“ By not going to any house, she avoids detection; by chusing none but those whose conversation is congenial to her own, she obliges none but men of sense and honour; and by he constantly re- fusing money, she demonstrates that love for love is her motto; that her love of the sport is her motive ”

“ Being wasted in such time-be guiling sport.
Without possessing any particular at- tracing charms this lady pleases, and has many admirers. Her face is agreeable without being pretty, she is well made, without being strictly genteel; and a friend to mirth and good humour, without vul- garity. She carries on a snug good trade, without going much abroad, and is in bed a very amorous companion. ”

“ She knows her value, and will seldom accept of less than two guineas, which indeed, are well be- stowed. It is remarkable, that her lovers are most commonly of a diminutive size. The vanity of surmounting such a fine tall woman, is, doubtless, an incentive to many, to so unmatch themselves, that they are content to be like a sweet-bread on a breast of veal. Yet, notwithstand- ing her size, we hear her low countries are far from being capacious, but like a well made boot, is drawn on the leg with some difficulty, and fits so close, as to give great pleasure to the wearer ”

“ Ireland lays claim to the honour of giving birth to this charming girl, who has not sported her figure in public life more than ten months; indeed her particular friend, the Captain, whose name she has taken the liberty of assuming, thinks her rather more honest than we believe her to be; she is now in her eighteenth year, dances well, and is fond of frequenting public hops, where, if her partner pleases her, for two guineas she has no objection to take him home, and return the com- pliment, that is, provided the Captain, is from town. ”

“ Many of the post steeds of Venus have been so often hack'd, that they are broken winded, halt in their paces, and are well nigh founder'd, so as to be scarce fit for any thing but brood mares, if they are not too old. There will therefore be full room for Betsy to succeed some of the most eminent, as she is well worthy of the embraces of the first men in the kingdom. ”