Aristophanes

“ It becomes the old man to speak words of good omen, and to hearken to my prayer.—O sovereign King, immeasurable Air, who keepest the earth suspended, and thou bright Æther, and ye august goddesses, the Clouds sending thunder and lightning, arise, appear in the air, O mistresses, to your deep thinker. ”

“ He has heard of the new and wonderful art of reasoning, by which the Sophists professed to make the worse appear the better cause; and hopes that, under the tuition of Socrates, he may attain to such skill and dexterity of arguing as will enable him to elude the actions for debt, with which he is threatened by his creditors. All attempts to make him acquainted with the subtleties of the new philosophy are found to be vain; and his son Phidippides is substituted in his stead, as a more hopeful pupil. ”

“ THE CLOUDS.
[Scene—the interior of a sleeping apartment: Strepsiades, Phidippides, and two servants are seen in their beds: a small house is seen at a distance. Time—midnight.]
Strepsiades (sitting up in his bed) .
Ah me! ah me! O king Jupiter, of what a terrible length the nights are! [1] Will it never be day? And yet [2] long since I heard the cock. My domestics are snoring; but they would not have done so heretofore! May you perish then, O war! for many reasons; because I may not even punish my domestics. [3] Neither does this excellent youth awake through the night ”

“ I first invoke, [122] to join our choral band, the mighty Jupiter, ruling on high, the monarch of gods; and the potent master of the trident, the fierce upheaver of earth and briny sea; and our father of great renown, most august Æther, life-supporter of all; and the horse-guider, who fills the plain of the earth with exceeding bright beams, a mighty deity among gods and mortals.
Most clever spectators, come, give us your attention; for having been injured, we blame you to your faces. ”

“ Yea, by the gods, O Socrates!
Soc. You straightway forget whatever you learn, For, what now was the first thing you were taught? Tell me.
Strep. Come, let me see: nay, what was the first? [153] What was the first? Nay, what was the thing in which we knead our flour? Ah me! what was it?
Soc. Will you not pack off to the devil, you most forgetful and most stupid old man?
Strep. Ah me, what then, pray, will become of me, wretched man? For I shall be utterly undone, if I do not learn to ply the tongue. Come, oh, ye Clouds, give me some good advice. ”

“ And I, although so excellent a poet, do not give myself airs, nor do I seek to deceive you by twice and thrice bringing forward the same pieces; but I am always [119] clever at introducing new fashions, not at all resembling each other, and all of them clever: who struck Cleon in the belly when at the height of his power, and could not bear to attack him afterwards when he was down. But these scribblers, when once Hyperbolus has given them a handle, keep ever trampling on this wretched man and his mother. ”

“ My uncle Megacles will not permit me to be without a horse. But I'll go in, and pay no heed to you. [30] [Exit Phidippides.]
Strep. Though fallen, still I will not lie prostrate: but having prayed to the gods, I will go myself to the thinking-shop and get taught. How then, being an old man, and having a bad memory, and dull of comprehension, shall I learn the subtleties of refined disquisitions?—I must go. Why thus do I loiter and not knock at the door? [Knocks at the door.] Boy! little boy! ”

“ Tell me, O Socrates, I beseech you by Jupiter, who are these that have uttered this grand song? Are they some heroines?
Soc. By no means; but heavenly Clouds, great divinities to idle men; [67] who supply us with thought, and argument, and intelligence, and humbug, and circumlocution, and ability to hoax, and comprehension. ”

“ For if you should happen to be detected as an adulterer, you will make this reply to him, "that you have done him no injury:" and then refer him to Jupiter, [206] how even he is overcome by love and women. And yet, how could you, who are a mortal, have greater power than a god?
Just. But what, if he should suffer the radish through obeying you, and be depillated with hot ashes? What argument will he be able to state, to prove that he is is not a blackguard?
Unj. And if he be a blackguard, what harm will he suffer?
Just. Nay, what could he ever suffer still greater than this? ”

“ We always do this to him whom we perceive to be a lover of wicked courses, until we precipitate him into misfortune, so that he may learn to fear the gods.
Strep. Ah me! it is severe, [276] O Clouds! but it is just; for I ought not to have withheld the money which I borrowed.—Now, therefore, come with me, my dearest son, that you may destroy the blackguard Chærephon and Socrates, who deceived you and me. ”

“ Yes, by Jupiter! O highly honoured Clouds, for now they cover all things.
Soc. Did you not, however, know, nor yet consider, these to be goddesses?
Strep. No, by Jupiter! but I thought them to be mist, and dew, and smoke.
Soc. For you do not know, by Jupiter, that these feed very many sophists, Thurian soothsayers, practisers of medicine, lazy-longhaired-onyx-ring-wearers, [72] and song-twisters for the cyclic dances, and meteorological quacks. They feed idle people who do nothing, because such men celebrate them in verse. ”

“ For though we benefit the state most of all the gods, to us alone of deities you do not offer sacrifice nor yet pour libations, who watch over you. For if there should be any expedition with no prudence, then we either thunder or drizzle small rain. ”

“ Bravo! ye wretches, why do you sit senseless, the gain of us wise [227] men, being blocks, ciphers, mere sheep, jars heaped [228] together? Wherefore I must sing an encomium upon myself and this my son, on account of our good fortune.—"O happy Strepsiades! [229] how wise you are yourself, and how excellent is the son whom you are rearing!" my friends and fellow-tribesmen will say of me, [230] envying me, when you prove victorious in arguing causes.—But first I wish to lead you in and entertain you. [Exeunt Strepsiades and Phidippides.] ”

“ And often, while we gods are observing a fast, when we mourn for Memnon or Sarpedon, you are pouring libations and laughing. For which reason Hyperbolus, having obtained by lot this year to be Hieromnemon, was afterwards deprived by us gods of his [128] crown: for thus he will know better that he ought to spend the days of his life according to the Moon. [Enter Socrates.]
Soc. By Respiration, and Chaos, and Air, I have not seen any man so boorish, nor so impracticable, nor so stupid, nor so forgetful; who, while learning some little petty quibbles, forgets them before he has learnt them. ”

“ There dwell men who in speaking of the heavens persuade people that it is an oven, and that it encompasses us, and that we are the embers. These men teach, if one give them money, [24] to conquer in speaking, right or wrong.
Phid. Who are they?
Strep. I do not know the name accurately. They are minute-philosophers, [25] noble and excellent.
Phid. Bah! they are rogues; I know them. You mean the quacks, the pale-faced wretches, the bare-footed fellows, of whose number are the miserable Socrates and Chærephon. ”

“ Alas! would that the match-maker [14] had perished miserably, who induced me to marry your mother. For a country life used to be most agreeable to me, dirty, untrimmed, reclining at random, abounding in bees, and sheep, and oil-cake. Then I, a rustic, married a niece of Megacles, the son of Megacles, from the city, haughty, luxurious, and Cœsyrafied. [15] When I married her, I lay with her redolent of new wine, of the cheese-crate, and abundance of wool; but she, on the contrary, of ointment, saffron, wanton-kisses, extravagance, gluttony, and of Colias and Genetyllis. ”

“ The eyes of the foolish old man are opened to the wickedness of the new doctrines, and the imposture of their professors. He sets fire to the school of Socrates; and the play ends, like most of our modern melodramas, with a grand conflagration. This comedy was first represented at the Great Festival of Bacchus, (March, B. C. 423,) when Aristophanes was beaten by Cratinus and Amipsias, through the intrigues of Alcibiades, who perceived himself aimed at in the character of Phidippides. Aristophanes was now in his twenty-first year. ”

“ Ye blackguards, by the gods, receive my cloak, [207] for I desert to you. [Exeunt the two Causes, and re-enter Socrates and Strepsiades.]
Soc. What then? Whether do you wish to take and lead away this your son, or shall I teach him to speak?
Strep. Teach him, and chastise him; and remember that you train him properly; on the one side able for petty suits; but train his other jaw able for the more important causes.
Soc. Make yourself easy; you shall receive him back a clever sophist.
Strep. Nay, rather, pale and wretched. [208] [Exeunt Socrates, Strepsiades, and Phidippides.] ”

“ I will return, then, from thence to the tongue, which this fellow says our youths ought not to exercise, while I maintain they should. And, again, he says they ought to be modest: two very great evils. For tell me to whom you have ever seen any good accrue through modesty; and confute me by your words.
Just. To many. Peleus, [204] at any rate, received his sword on account of it.
Unj. A sword? Marry, he got a pretty piece of luck, the poor wretch! while Hyperbolus, [205] he of the lamps, got more than many talents by his villany, but, by Jupiter, no sword! ”

“ Seager says, "Socrates uses τρίβων for 'accustomed;' Phidippides, for 'an old cloak.' In κρέμαιο there is an allusion both to Socrates suspending himself in air on the κρεμάθραι, and to the hanging up of clothes on pegs." Mitchell, following up this notion, has remarked, "The young knight, after a contemptuous look at the Socratic cloak (τρίβων) , observes, 'If you were suspended yourself, i. e. hung upon a nail, the word τρίβων might be strictly applied to you: for what are you, after all?—an old cloak, and nothing better."
⁠"Gerichtet selber wärst du gerecht, wenn du hoch so hingst." ”

“ Will you move quickly? [Pricks him behind with the goad.] I'll lay on you, goading you behind, you outrigger? Do you fly? [Amynias runs off.] I thought I should stir you, [251] together with your wheels and your two-horse chariots. [Exit Strepsiades.]
Cho. What a thing it is to love evil courses! For this old man, having loved them, wishes to withhold the money which he borrowed. ”

“ Yes, for he is robust in body, and in good health, and is come of the high-plumed dames of Cœsyra. I will go for him, and if he be not willing, I will certainly drive him from my house. [To Socrates.] Go in and wait for me a short time. [Exit.]
Cho. Do you perceive that you are soon about to obtain the greatest benefits through us alone of the gods? For this man is ready to do every thing that you bid him. ”

“ The object of the poet is, to bring before his audience the question between past and present education, into full and fair discussion; comparing the principles of the schools then existing with the pure and moral discipline of former times." Cumb. These allegorical characters appeared in the dresses of Æschylus and Euripides respectively. According to Wieland and Droysen, they are represented by two game cocks in wicker cages. Süvern ("Clouds," p. 16) rejects this idea, and thinks the Unjust Cause may have worn the mask of some of the notorious wranglers of the day. ”

“ Just. Because it is most vile, and makes a man cowardly.
Unj. Stop! For immediately I seize and hold you by the waist without escape. Come, tell me, which of the sons of Jupiter do you deem to have been the bravest in soul, and to have undergone [203] most labours?
Just. I consider no man superior to Hercules.
Unj. Where, pray, did you ever see cold Heraclean baths? And yet, who was more valiant than he?
Just. These are the very things which make the bath full of youths always chattering all day long, but the palæstras empty.
Unj. You next find fault with their living in the market-place ”

“ Strep. Tell me, pray, if they are really Clouds, what ails them, that they resemble mortal women? For they are not such.
Soc. Pray, of what nature are they?
Strep. I do not clearly know: at any rate they resemble spread-out fleeces, and not women, by Jupiter! not a bit; [77] for these have noses.
Soc. Answer, then, whatever I ask you.
Strep. Then say quickly what you wish.
Soc. Have you ever, when you looked up, seen a cloud [78] like to a centaur, or a panther, or a wolf, or a bull?
Strep. By Jupiter, have I! But what of that? [79]
Soc. They become all things, whatever they please. ”

“ But you, while the man is astounded and evidently elated, having perceived it, will quickly fleece him to the best of your power. [156] [Exit Socrates.] For matters of this sort are somehow accustomed to turn the other way. [Enter Strepsiades and Phidippides.]
Strep. By Mist, [157] you certainly shall not stay here any longer I but go and gnaw the columns of Megacles.
Phid. My good sir, what is the matter with you, O father? You are not in your senses, by Olympian Jupiter!
Strep. See, see! "Olympian Jupiter!" What folly! To think of your believing in Jupiter, [158] as old as you are! ”

“ Phid. Why, is any day old and new?
Strep. Yes; on which they say that they will make their deposits against me.
Phid. Then those that have made them will lose them; for it is not possible that two days can be one day. [225]
Strep. Cannot it?
Phid. Certainly not; unless [226] the same woman can be both old and young at the same time.
Strep. And yet it is the law.
Phid. For they do not, I think, rightly understand what the law means.
Strep. And what does it mean?
Phid. The ancient Solon was by nature the commons' friend. ”

“ You will say that it is ordained by law that this should be the lot of boys. But I would reply, that old men are boys twice over, and that it is the more reasonable that the old should weep than the young, inasmuch as it is less just that they should err. ”