Aristophanes

“ CHREMYLUS. Oh, Apollo, my tutelary! oh! ye favourable gods! what has overtaken this man?
INFORMER. Ah! am I not deserving of pity? I have lost everything; this cursed god has stripped me bare. Ah! if there be justice in heaven, he shall be struck blind again.
JUST MAN. Methinks I know what's the matter. If this man is unfortunate, 'tis because he's of little account and small honesty; and i' faith he looks it too.
CHREMYLUS. Then, by Zeus! his plight is but just.
INFORMER. He promised that if he recovered his sight, he would enrich us all unaided; whereas he has ruined more than one. ”

“ MNESILOCHUS. Do what you think fit; I yield myself entirely to you.
EURIPIDES. Agathon, you have always razors about you; lend me one.
AGATHON. Take if yourself, there, out of that case.
EURIPIDES. Thanks. Sit down and puff out the right cheek.
MNESILOCHUS. Oh! oh! oh!
EURIPIDES. What are you shouting for? I'll cram a spit down your gullet, if you're not quiet.
MNESILOCHUS. Oh! oh! oh! oh! oh! oh! (He springs up and starts running away.)
EURIPIDES. Where are you running to now?
MNESILOCHUS. To the temple of the Eumenides. [563] No, by Demeter I won't let myself be gashed like that. ”

“ AESCHYLUS. Yes, faith, enough indeed! I wish now to see my verses weighed in the scales; 'tis the only way to end this poetic struggle.
DIONYSUS. Well then, come, I am going to sell the poet's genius the same way cheese is sold in the market.
CHORUS. Truly clever men are possessed of an inventive mind. Here again is a new idea that is marvellous and strange, and which another would not have thought of; as for myself I would not have believed anyone who had told me of it, I would have treated him as a driveller.
DIONYSUS. Come, hither to the scales.
AESCHYLUS AND EURIPIDES. Here we are. ”

“ PISTHETAERUS. Ha!... but just you be off elsewhere to roast younger folk than us with your lightning.
CHORUS. We forbid the gods, the sons of Zeus, to pass through our city and the mortals to send them the smoke of their sacrifices by this road.
PISTHETAERUS. 'Tis odd that the messenger we sent to the mortals has never returned.
HERALD. Oh! blessed Pisthetaerus, very wise, very illustrious, very gracious, thrice happy, very.... Come, prompt me, somebody, do.
PISTHETAERUS. Get to your story!
HERALD. All peoples are filled with admiration for your wisdom, and they award you this golden crown. ”

“ PISTHETAERUS (to the flute-player) . Enough! but, by Heracles! what is this? Great gods! I have seen many prodigious things, but I never saw a muzzled raven. [280]
EPOPS. Priest! 'tis high time! Sacrifice to the new gods.
PRIEST. I begin, but where is he with the basket? Pray to the Vesta of the birds, to the kite, who presides over the hearth, and to all the god and goddess-birds who dwell in Olympus.
CHORUS. Oh! Hawk, the sacred guardian of Sunium, oh, god of the storks!
PRIEST. Pray to the swan of Delos, to Latona the mother of the quails, and to Artemis, the goldfinch. ”

“ CHORUS. Io! io! forward to the attack, throw yourselves upon the foe, spill his blood; take to your wings and surround them on all sides. Woe to them! let us get to work with our beaks, let us devour them. Nothing can save them from our wrath, neither the mountain forests, nor the clouds that float in the sky, nor the foaming deep. Come, peck, tear to ribbons. Where is the chief of the cohort? Let him engage the right wing.
EUELPIDES. This is the fatal moment. Where shall I fly to, unfortunate wretch that I am?
PISTHETAERUS. Stay! stop here! ”

“ MNESILOCHUS. Take pity on me, oh, stranger! I am so unhappy and distraught! Free me from these bonds.
SCYTHIAN. Don't you talk! a curse upon your impudence! you are going to die, and yet you will be chattering!
EURIPIDES. "Oh! virgin! I take pity on your chains."
SCYTHIAN. But this is no virgin; 'tis an old rogue, a cheat and a thief.
EURIPIDES. You have lost your wits, Scythian. This is Andromeda, the daughter of Cepheus.
SCYTHIAN. But just look at this tool; is that like a woman?
EURIPIDES. Give me your hand, that I may descend near this young maiden. Each man has his own particular weakness ”

“ All the hook-clawed birds are moving against him, the kestrel, the buzzard, the vulture, the great-horned owl; they cleave the air, so that it resounds with the flapping of their wings; they are looking everywhere for the god, who cannot be far away; indeed, if I mistake not, he is coming from yonder side.
PISTHETAERUS. All arm themselves with slings and bows! This way, all our soldiers; shoot and strike! Some one give me a sling!
CHORUS. War, a terrible war is breaking out between us and the gods! Come, let each one guard the Air, the son of Erebus, [316] in which the clouds float. ”

“ DIONYSUS. What gods? Are you so stupid, such a fool? How can you, a slave and a mortal, be the son of Alcmena?
XANTHIAS. Come then! 'tis well! take them. But perhaps you will be needing me one day, an it please the gods.
CHORUS. 'Tis the act of a wise and sensible man, who has done much sailing, always to trim his sail towards the quarter whence the fair wind wafts, rather than stand stiff and motionless like a god Terminus. [442] To change your part to serve your own interest is to act like a clever man, a true Theramenes. ”

“ Greece every four years, why does he only crown the victorious athletes
with wild olive? If he were rich he would give them gold.
CHREMYLUS. 'Tis in that way he shows that he clings to his wealth; he is sparing with it, won't part with any portion of it, only bestows baubles on the victors and keeps his money for himself.
POVERTY. But wealth coupled to such sordid greed is yet more shameful than poverty.
CHREMYLUS. May Zeus destroy you, both you and your chaplet of wild olive!
POVERTY. Thus you dare to maintain that poverty is not the fount of all blessings! ”

“ CHORUS. Let us address ourselves to the spectators to sing our praises, despite the fact that each one says much ill of women. If the men are to be believed, we are a plague to them; through us come all their troubles, quarrels, disputes, sedition, griefs and wars. But if we are truly such a pest, why marry us? Why forbid us to go out or show ourselves at the window? You want to keep this pest, and take a thousand cares to do it. If your wife goes out and you meet her away from the house, you fly into a fury. Ought you not rather to rejoice and give thanks to the gods? ”

“ DIONYSUS. Undoubtedly. 'Tis as though I said to my neighbour, "Lend me either your kneading-trough or your trough to knead in."
AESCHYLUS. No, you babbler, no, 'tis not the same thing, and the verse is excellent.
DIONYSUS. Indeed! then prove it.
AESCHYLUS. To come is the act of a citizen who has suffered no misfortune; but the exile both comes and returns.
DIONYSUS. Excellent! by Apollo! What do you say to that, Euripides?
EURIPIDES. I say that Orestes did not return to his country, for he came there secretly, without the consent of those in power.
DIONYSUS. Very good indeed! by Hermes! ”

“ AGATHON. Then never you think I am going to expose myself in your stead; 'twould be madness. 'Tis for you to submit to the fate that overtakes you; one must not try to trick misfortune, but resign oneself to it with good grace.
MNESILOCHUS. This is why you, you wretch, offer your posterior with a good grace to lovers, not in words, but in actual fact.
EURIPIDES. But what prevents your going there?
AGATHON. I should run more risk than you would.
EURIPIDES. Why?
AGATHON. Why? I should look as if I were wanting to trespass on secret nightly pleasures of the women and to ravish their Aphrodité. ”

“ INFORMER. And who is the prosecutor before the dicasts?
CHREMYLUS. Whoever wishes to be. [794]
INFORMER. Well then, 'tis I who choose to be prosecutor; and thus all public affairs fall within my province.
CHREMYLUS. I pity Athens for being in such vile clutches. But would you not prefer to live quietly and free from all care and anxiety?
INFORMER. To do nothing is to live an animal's life.
CHREMYLUS. Thus you will not change your mode of life?
INFORMER. No, though they gave me Plutus himself and the silphium of
Battus. [795]
CHREMYLUS (to the Informer) . Come, quick, off with your cloak. ”

“ A SERVANT-MAID TO PRAXAGORA (she comes from the banquet) . What happiness is the people's! what joy is mine, and above all that of my mistress! Happy are ye, who form choruses before our house! Happy all ye, both neighbours and fellow-citizens! Happy am I myself! I am but a servant, and yet I have poured on my hair the most exquisite essences. Let thanks be rendered to thee, oh, Zeus! But a still more delicious aroma is that of the wine of Thasos; its sweet bouquet delights the drinker for a long enough, whereas the others lose their bloom and vanish quickly. ”