David Macbeth Moir

“ No wonder than we attracted customers, for our sign was the prettiest ye ever saw, though the jacket was not just so neatly painted, as for some sand-blind creatures not to take it for a goose. I daresay there were fifty half-naked bairns glowring their een out of their heads at it, from morning till night: and, after they all were gone to their beds, both Nanse and me found ourselves so proud of our new situation in life, that we sliped out in the dark by ourselves, and had a prime look at it with a lantern. ”

“ It is not in corrupted sinful hearts that the fire of true love can ever burn clear. Alas, and ohon orie! they lose the sweetest, completest, dearest, truest pleasure that this world has in store for its children. ”

“ Hardly was his back turned, and amaist before ye could cry Jack Robison, in comes the birkie and the very young leddy the auld gentleman described, arm and arm thegether, smoodging and lauching like daft. Dog on it, it was a shameless piece of business. As true as death, before all the crowd of folk, he pat his arm round her waist, and caad her his sweetheart, and love, and dearie, and darling, and every thing that is sweet. If they had been courting in a closs thegether, on a Friday night, they couldna hae said mair to ane anither, or gaen greater lengths. ”

“ The auld faither came bouncing in, and seeing the fellow as sound as a tap, be ran forrit and gaed him sich a shake, as if he wad hae shooken him a’ sundry, which sune made him open his een as fast as he had steekit them. After blackguarding the chield at no allowanee, eursing him up hill and down dale, and caaing him every name but a gentleman, he haddit his staff ower his crown, and gripping him by the cuff o’ the neck, askit him what he had made o’ his daughter. ”

“ My first flame was the minister’s lassie, Jess, a buxom and forward queen, two or three years older than myself. I used to sit looking at her in the kirk, and felt a droll confusion when our een met. It dirled through my heart like a dart, and I looked down at my psalm-book sheepish and blushing. Fain would I have spoken to her, but it would not do; my courage aye failed me at the pinch, though she whiles gave me a smile when she passed me. She used to go to the well every night with her twa stoups, to draw water after the manner of the Israelites at gloaming ”

“ I’m killed—I’m speechless!” and ither lamentations to that effect; so that a rush to the door took place, in which everything was overturned—-the door keeper being wheeled away like wildfire—the furins strampit to pieces-—the lights knockit out—and the twa blind fiddlers dung head foremost ower the stage, the bass fiddle cracking like thunder at every bruise. Siccan tearing, and swearing, and tumbling, and squeeling, was never witnessed in the memory of man, sin the building of Babel; legs being likely to be broken, sides staved in, een knocked out, and lives lost ”

“ Folks shouldna at a’ times be ower scrupulous.
After paying our money at the door, never, while I live and breathe, will I forget, what we saw and heard that night; it just looks to me, by a’ the world, when I think on’t, like a fairy dream. The place was crowded to the ee, Maister Glen and me having nearly got our ribs dung in, before we fand a seat, and them behint were obliged to mount the back benches to get a sight. ”

“ Are we no descended, faither and son, frae Robert Bruce and Sir William Wallace, having the bright bluid of freemen in our veins and the Pentland hills, as weel as our ain dear hames and firesides, to fight for? The fief that wadna gie eut-and-thrust for his eountry, as lang as he had a breath to draw, or a leg to stand on, should be tied neck and heels, without benefit o’ clergy, and thrown ower Leith pier, to swim for his lifc like a mangy dog! ”

“ Just at the time that the twa blind fiddlers were playing the Downfall of Paris, a hand-bell rang and up goes the green curtain, being hauled to the ceiling, as I observed wi’ the tail o’ my ee, by a birkie at the side, that had haud o’ a rope. So, on the music stopping and all becoming as still as that you might have heard a pin fall, in comes a decent old gentleman, at his leasure, weil powdered, wi’ au auld-fashioned coat, and waistcoat wi’ flap pockets, brown breeches, with buckles at the knees, and silk stockings, with red gushets on a blue ground. I never saw a man in sic distress ”

“ As all this was going on, I rose and took a vizzy between the ehinks of the window-shutters; so, just as I got my neb to the hole, I saw Benjie, as he flew past, give the door a drive, His consternation, on finding it flee half open, may be easier imagined than deseribed, for, expecting the Frenehman to bouncc out like a roaring lion, they hurried like mad into the house, eouping the creels ower ane anither, Tammie spraining his thumb against the back door, and Benjie’s foot going into Tammie’s coat poeket, which it carried away with it, like a cloth sandal ”

“ The haill house was sae glad that the scoundrel had been exposed, that they set up siccan a roar o’ lauchter, and thumpit away at siccan a rate at the boards wi’ their feet, that at lang and last, wi’ pushing, and fidgetting, and hadding their sides, down fell the place they ca’ the gallery, a’ the folk in’t being hurled tapsy-turvy, head foremost amang the saw-dust on the floor below; their guffawing sune being turned to howling, ilka ane crying louder than anither at the tap of their voices, “Murder! murder! ”

“ We have him like a rotten in a fa.” On Pennycuick being mentioned we heard the foreign crature in the coal house groaning out, ‘och’ and ‘ohone,’ and ‘parbleu,’ and ‘Mysie Rabbie,'—that I fancy was his sweetheart at hame, sum bit French queen that wondered he was never like to come frae the wars and marry her. ”

“ In turning round the key, the lock being in want of a feather o’ oil, made a noise, and waukened the puir wrctch, who jumping to the soles of his feet in despair, ericd out in a voice that was like to break my heart, though I coudna make out ae word of his paraphernally. ”