Henry Irving Dodge

“ Honey came over and put her head on Skinner's shoulder.
"Are n't we the great little conspirators, you and I?" said Dearie, as he stroked Honey's glossy hair.
"Yes, each one conspiring all alone by himself against the other." ”

“ Skinner said nothing for a moment, then burst out, "Say, I have n't got to get new underclothing, have I? Now, don't you even admit that I have! Don't you dare admit it! People can't see my underclothes unless I take my coat off and turn up my shirt-sleeves or roll up my trousers as if I were going in wading."
"Of course, you have n't got to get new underclothes, Dearie. But there's a psychology to it. If you don't feel well dressed, you won't look well dressed. You don't want to be a fraud, with a beautiful dress suit and cheap underneath—and my old Dearie's no fraud." ”

“ But what made it imperative for Skinner to ask for a raise was, he had been bragging. Skinner was only human, and being a hero to his wife had made him a little vain. He was a modest man, a first-rate fellow, but no man is proof against hero-worship. He had bragged—a little at first—about his value to the firm, which had increased the worship. He had given his wife the idea that he was a most important man in McLaughlin & Perkins, Inc., that he had only to suggest a raise in order to get it. ”

“ No one but Honey had ever even taken him seriously. Even the salesmen, whom he paid off, looked on him only as a man in a cage. But to his wife he was a hero. When he entered their little house out in Meadevllle, he entered his kingdom. All of which made it imperative with Skinner to do his very utmost to "make good" in Honey's eyes.
The Skinners had a little bank account for which they had skimped and saved. Honey had denied herself new gowns, and Skinner had gone her one better. If she would not spend money on herself, then he would not spend money on himself. ”

“ No one there knew what Skinner's position in the business world was. Nor would they have cared if they had known. But Skinner was not trumpeting the fact that he was only a "cage man." Skinner had many original ideas, which, because of a certain lack of assertiveness, he'd never been able to exploit. McLaughlin and Perkins had always looked upon him only as a counter of money and a keeper of accounts. But now he was out of his cage. He talked with these men as he never knew he could talk.
As a "cage man," Skinner had always dealt with men of small caliber, who were ever in a hurry. ”

“ I 'll do my best, sir."
"It'll take rare diplomacy, rare diplomacy, Skinner," McLaughlin warned.
"What kind of a man is Mr. Jackson?" Skinner asked presently. "I know him by his letters, but what kind of man is he to meet?"
"The worst curmudgeon west of Pittsburg," said McLaughlin. "He'll insult you, he'll abuse you, he might even threaten to assault you like he did me. But he's got a bank roll as big as Vesuvius—and you know what his business means to us. Take as much time as you like, spend as much money as you like, Skinner,—don't stint yourself,—but get Jackson!" ”

“ Girls chattered about autos, not to give the impression that they owned them, but that they had many friends who owned them, that they were greatly in demand as auto companions—thus vicariously establishing their own social status.
There was something fraternal about it, Skinner thought, like golf. The conceit occurred to him that it would be a good scheme to get up a booklet full of glib automobile, golf, and bridge chatter, to be committed to memory, and mark it, "How to Bluff One's Way into Society." It might have a wide sale. ”

“ Thus Skinner's education progressed. He took as enthusiastic a delight in studying the "gold bugs" as a naturalist would in some very ancient, but recently discovered, insect.
"I 'm finding out lots of good things in that Pullman Club, Honey," said Skinner a week later at the dinner table. "Every one of these 'gold bugs' has something under his skin. They may be Dick Turpins and Claude Duvals and Sam Basses, their methods of getting things may not be ideal, but you can't beat their methods of giving. They've all got lovable qualities. ”

“ The first morning Skinner wore his new suit to business, he left the house for the depot with head erect. He did n't give a rap whether Colby saw him or not. But good luck always attends the indifferent in spirit. Colby's car flashed by and the multi-millionaire nodded genially to the "cage man," which elated the latter, for he liked Colby—felt that in a way he was a man after his own heart. But Skinner was too wise to attempt to force himself on the magnate. If there were to be any further cultivation of mutual acquaintance, he resolved to let Colby take the initiative. ”

“ He hated these petty corrections.
"Ain't a caterpillar a worm, my Harvard prodigy?"
"I grant you that."
"Don't he turn into a butterfly? Don't he plume for flight?"
McLaughlin nailed each successive argument with a bang of his fist on the desk.
"Ain't Skinner getting to be a social butterfly? Get the connection? My metaphor may be mixed, as you say,—which I don't understand,—but my logic is O.K. Say, ain't it?"
"Your metaphor, Mac, suggests a picture. Imagine Skinner with wings on—those long legs drooping down or trailing behind him—like a great Jersey mosquito!" ”

“ Skinner's mouth suddenly went dry.
"We've been cheap people long enough, Dearie," Honey began. "We've never dressed like other people, we've never traveled like other people. If we went on a trip, it was always at excursion rates. We've always put up at cheap hotels, we've always bargained for the lowest rate, and we've always eaten in cheap restaurants. Have n't we, Dearie?" ”

“ And it's easier to do business with big men. They're more imaginative, quicker to grasp."
"That's how they got there," Honey interjected.
"But particularly, Honey, these men are all keen students of human nature. They can size a man up—gee! 'Brown's able,' says one. 'Yes, but he's tricky,' says another. 'Carpenter's honest, but he's a fool.' With the 'gold bugs' credit is a combination of honesty and ability."
Skinner sipped his demi-tasse reflectively. ”

“ And private lessons mean lots of money!"
"Honey," said Skinner solemnly, "we've invested in this dress-suit engine of conquest. It's no good unless we use it. We must learn the most effective way to use it or all the first cost will be wasted. Besides, it won't cost much to learn to dance. There are places on Sixth Avenue—"
Honey held up both hands.
"Mercy, Dearie, if you learn to dance on Sixth Avenue, you'll have the Sixth-Avenue stamp to you. The men who dance on Sixth Avenue hire their dress suits on Third Avenue—it all goes together. ”

“ There was Lewis, for instance, who was just going into the Pullman with Robertson, the banker. Lewis was nothing but a social froth-juggler. He had n't half Skinner's ability, yet he was going around with the rich. Cheek—that was it—nothing but cheek that did it. Skinner detested cheek, yet Lewis had capitalized it. The result was a fine house and servants and an automobile for the man who used to walk in the slush with Skinner behind other men's cars and take either their mud or their gasoline stench. ”

“ McLaughlin commented.
"Nobody cares much whether a cashier in his cage is well dressed," said Perkins. "You can't see him below the waist-line. He might not have on either trousers or shoes for all the public knows or cares."
"What kind of a wife has he got?"
"She's just as thrifty as he is. They've got the poverty bug, I guess. Don't worry about Skinner, Mac. The fear of the poorhouse has kept many a good man in his place."
McLaughlin turned to Perkins. "But we can't afford to lose him. He's too honest, too faithful, too loyal." ”

“ For two solid weeks, every day Honey met Dearie after office hours and they practiced trotting the fox trot, stepping the one-step, and negotiating the tango and the hesitation. Skinner was thorough in his dancing, as in everything else. He was quick to learn, light on his feet, and soon was an expert and graceful dancer.
At the end of the brief term Skinner wrote down in his little book:—
The two weeks' loyal devotion to the art of Terpsichore made Skinner at the Crawford dance no less conspicuous as a dancer than as a man of distinguished presence. ”

“ McLaughlin," he said—and Perkins, recognizing the premonitory symptoms, crossed to the window and stood with his back to his partner and "the cage man"—"Mr. McLaughlin," Skinner repeated after a pause, "I've been thinking that the most valuable man to any concern is the one that gets the business for it."
"Right-o!" said McLaughlin.
"And the hardest man to get," Skinner went on, "is the customer you get back. You not only have to pry him loose from some other concern with better figures, but you have his personal pride to overcome. To come back is a surrender." ”

“ Skinner felt that this talk about machines was only to impress others with the talkers' motor lore. For familiarity with motor lore means a certain social status. It is part of the smart vernacular of to-day. Any man who can own a car has at least mounted a few steps on the social ladder. The next thing to owning a car is to be able to talk about a car, for if a man can talk well about a machine everybody 'll think that he must have had a vast experience in that line and, therefore, must be a man of affairs. ”

“ Fellows like Wilkinson, when some outsider is n't quite good enough socially and they want to swell his head without committing themselves, take him in their car or to the club. In that way they save their business faces without sacrificing their social faces. I know," he growled.
"But how did he get in with the Wilkinsons? They have n't any business."
"Wilkinson is in all sorts of things that nobody knows of but himself." He glanced over the sub-caption. "Skinner sees no difference socially between the St. Paul and the New York people. ”

“ They drove over to Minneapolis again and took in the wonderful flour mills, for anything that pertained to machinery fascinated Skinner. Then they went out to the Lake and had a trout dinner and all the rest of it. But after a time, this unaccountably useless routine got on Honey's nerves.
"Dearie," she protested, "this is our honeymoon, to be sure, but don't you think you ought to get after business?"
"Don't worry. Business will get after us pretty soon."
"But time is flying."
"Time is doing just what I want it to do. It takes time for plans to develop. It takes time for seed to grow. ”

“ But McLaughlin cut him short. "So are ours." The boss was going to add his customary excuse when tackled for more money, "And times are hard with us, our customers don't pay up, and our creditors—" but he suddenly remembered that he was speaking to his cashier.
He turned away and looked into space and drummed on his desk with an ivory paper-cutter. Thus he remained, apparently pondering the matter for some seconds, while hope and fear chased each other up and down Skinner's spinal column. Then the boss turned to his papers. ”

“ He'd raise himself five dollars a week! All he had to do was to take it out of his own bank account. Every week he'd cash a check for five dollars in New York. He always kept his personal check-book in the firm's safe. When he handed Honey his salary, he would give her the "extra five" to deposit to the credit of their account in the Meadeville National. It would work out beautifully. Nobody would be any the wiser and if nobody would be any the richer, surely nobody would be any the poorer, and—he would not have to disappoint Honey. ”

“ They're dangerous to a man who is employed in a fiduciary capacity," said McLaughlin very quietly.
"I believe as you do," urged Perkins, "that Skinner is the most honest and loyal man in America—but other honest and loyal men—well, darn it, they're all human." ”

“ We'll never be any younger. We're going to draw on our first year's prosperity!"
"What the deuce are you talking about?" said Skinner, staring at Honey, wild-eyed. "What do you mean?"
She clapped her hands. "Now, don't argue! I've planned it all out! We're going to have a good time—good clothes! We 're going to begin on you, you old dear! You're going to have a dress suit!"
"Dress suit?" Skinner echoed. "Why dress suit? Why dress suit now at this particular stage of the game? Why dress suit at all?"
"Why? For the reception at the First Presbyterian, of course. ”

“ But a man in a cage—why the very fact that he stays in a cage—can't you see?"
"Then you would n't do it?"
"Of course not!"
"But how?"
"Bluff him—in a tactful way. Let him think we've nothing but his welfare at heart; that we love him too much to stand in his way; that it's breaking our hearts to lose him. Still, if he can better himself we'll have to stand the pain. You're an old poker-player, Mac; you know how to handle the situation."
"But supposing you're mistaken in Skinner? Supposing he hangs out for a raise?" ”