Jeremy Collier

“ These Worshipful Things are the Poets Favourites: They appear at the Head of the Fashion; and shine in Character, and Equipage. If there is any Sense stirring, They must have it, tho' the rest of the Stage suffer never so much by the Partiality. And what can be the Meaning of this wretched Distribution of Honour? Is it not to give Credit and Countenance to Vice, and to shame young People out of all pretences to Conscience, and Regularity? ”

“ How often is Learning, Industry, and Frugality, ridiculed in Comedy? The rich Citizens are often Misers, and Cuckolds, and the Universities, Schools of Pedantry upon this score. In short, Libertinism and Profaness, Dressing, Idleness, and Gallantry, are the only valuable Qualities. As if People were not apt enough of themselves to be Lazy, Lewd, and Extravagant, unless they were prick'd forward, and provok'd by Glory, and Reputation. Thus the Marks of Honour, and Infamy are misapplyed, and the Idea's of Virtue and Vice confounded. ”

“ If the Ends of Thing are naught, they must be mended. Mischief is the Chief end of Malice, would it be then a Blemish in Ill Nature to change Temper, and relent into Goodness? The Chief End of a Madman it may be is to Fire a House, must we not therefore bind him in his Bed? To conclude. If Delight without Restraint, or Distinction without Conscience or Shame, is the Supream Law of Comedy, 'twere well if we had less on't. Arbitrary Pleasure, is more dangerous than Arbitrary Power. Nothing is more Brutal than to be abandon'd to Appetite ”

“ To put Lewdness into a Thriving condition, to give it an Equipage of Quality, and to treat it with Ceremony and Respect, is the way to confound the Understanding, to fortifie the Charm, and to make the Mischief invincible. Innocence is often owing to Fear, and Appetite is kept under by Shame; But when these Restraints are once taken off, when Profit and Liberty lie on the same side, and a Man can Debauch himself into Credit, what can be expected in such a case, but that Pleasure should grow Absolute, and Madness carry all before it? ”

“ He questions whether Instruction has any thing to do in Comedy; If it has, he is sure 'tis no more then its secondary end: For the business of the Poet is to make you laugh.Ibid. Granting the Truth of this Principle, I somewhat question the serviceableness of it. For is there no Diversion to be had unless Vice appears prosperous, and rides at the Head of Success. One would think such a preposterous, distribution of Rewards, should rather shock the Reason, and raise the Indignation of the Audience. To laugh without reason is the Pleasure of Fools, and against it, of something worse. ”

“ Here you have a Man of Breeding and Figure that burlesques the Bible, Swears, and talks Smut to Ladies, speaks ill of his Friend behind his Back, and betraies his Interest. A fine Gentleman that has neither Honesty, nor Honour, Conscience, nor Manners, Good Nature, nor civil Hypocricy. ”

“ He is a prodigal Debauchee, unnatural, and Profane, Obscene, Sawcy, and undutiful, And yet this Libertine is crown'd for the Man of Merit, has his Wishes thrown into his Lap, and makes the Happy Exit. I perceive we should have a rare set of Virtues if these Poets had the making of them! How they hug a Vitious Character, and how profuse are they in their Liberalities to Lewdness? In the Provoked Wife, Constant Swears at Length, solicits Lady Brute, Confesses himself Lewd, and prefers Debauchery to Marriage. He handles the last Sybject very notably and worth the Hearing. ”

“ Least any Man should think (says He) that I write this to make Libertinism amiable, or that I cared not to debase the end, and Institution of Comedy. (It seems then Delight is not the Chief end.) I must farther declare that we make not Vitious Persons Happy, but only as Heaven makes Sinners so. ”

“ He does as good as tell Her, she may Sin as much as she has a mind to. Her Face is a Protection to her Conscience. For Heaven is under a necessity to forgive a Handsom Woman. To say all this ought to be pass'd over in Torrismond on the score of his Passion, is to make the Excuse more scandalous than the Fault, if possible. Such Raptures are fit only for Bedlam, or a place which I shan't name. Love Triumphant will furnish another Rant not altogether inconsiderable. Here Celadea a Maiden Lady when she was afraid her Spark would be married to another, calls out presently for a Chaos. ”

“ For Poetry being an Art, ought to be profitable by the quality of it's own nature, and by the Essential Subordination that all Arts should have to Polity, whose End in General is the publick Good. This is the Judgment of Aristotle and of Horace his chief Interpreter.Rapin Reflect. &c. p. 10. Ben Johnson in his Dedicatory Epistle of his Fox has somewhat considerable upon this Argument; And declaims with a great deal of zeal, spirit, and good Sense, against the Licentiousness of the Stage. He lays it down for a Principle, 'That 'tis impossible to be a good Poet without being a good Man. ”

“ They can't otherwise justifie themselves to the Fashion, nor keep up the Character of Gentlemen: Thus People not well furnish'd with Thought, and Experience, are debauch'd both in Practise and Principle. And thus Religion grows uncreditable, and passes for ill Education. The Stage seldom gives Quarter to any Thing that's serviceable or Significant, but persecutes Worth, and Goodness under every Appearance. ”

“ Valentine in Love for Love is (if I may so call him) the Hero of the Play; This Spark the Poet would pass for a Person of Virtue, but he speaks to late. 'Tis true, He was hearty in his Affection to Angelica. Now without question, to be in Love with a fine Lady of 30000 Pounds is a great Virtue! But then abating this single Commendation, Valentine is altogether compounded of Vice.Love for Love. ”

“ Manners in the Language of Poetry, is a Propriety of Actions, and Persons. To succeed in this business, there must always be a regard had to Age, Sex, and Condition: And nothing put into the Mouths of Persons which disagrees with any of these Circumstances. 'Tis not enough to say a witty Thing, unless it be spoken by a likely Person, and upon a Proper occasion. ”

“ And as to the point of Delight in general, the same Author affirms, 'that scandalous Satisfactions are not properly Pleasures. 'Tis only Distemper, and false Appetite which makes them palatable. And a Man that is sick, seldom has his Tast true. ”

“ That I have ever trembled to think towards the least Profaness, and loath'd the Use of such foul, and unwash'd Bawdry, as is now made the Food of the Scene.—The encrease of which Lust in Liberty, what Learned or Liberal Soul does not abhor? In whole Enterludes nothing but the Filth of the Time is utter'd—with Brothelry able to violate the Ear of a Pagan, and Blasphemy, to turn the Blood of a Christian to Water. ”

“ Yes, if the Palate is pleas'd, no matter tho' the Body is Poyson'd! For can one die of an easier Disease than Diversion? But Raillery apart, certainly Mirth and Laughing, without respect to the Cause, are not such supreme Satisfactions! A man has sometimes Pleasure in losing his Wits. Frensy, and Possession, will shake the Lungs, and brighten the Face ”

“ The Restraints of Conscience and the Pedantry of Virtue, are unbecoming a Cavalier: Future Securities, and Reaching beyond Life, are vulgar Provisions: If he falls a Thinking at this rate, he forfeits his Honour ”

“ I shall now give the Reader a few Instances of the Courtship of the Stage, and how decently they treat the Women, and Quality of both Sexes. The Women who are secured from Affronts by Custom, and have a Privilege for Respect, are sometimes but roughly saluted by these Men of Address. And to bar the Defence, this Coarseness does not alwaies come from Clowns, and Women-haters; but from Persons of Figure, neither singular, nor ill Bred. And which is still worse, The Satir falls on blindly without Distinction, and strikes at the whole Sex. ”

“ There is (says he) a poor sordid Slavery in Marriage, that turns the flowing Tide of Honour, and sinks it to the lowest ebb of Infamy. 'Tis a Corrupted Soil, Ill Nature, Avarice, Sloth, Cowardize, and Dirt, are all its Product.—But then Constancy (alias Whoring) is a Brave, Free, Haughty, Generous, Agent. This is admirable stuff both for the Rhetorick and the Reason!p. 35. The Character Young Fashion in the Relapse is of the same Staunchness, but this the Reader may have in another Place.
To sum up the Evidence. A fine Gentleman, is a fine Whoring, Swearing, Smutty, Atheistical Man. ”

“ The horror of the first Discovery continues upon their Spirits: They never relapse into any fits of Intemperance, nor entertain themselves with a lewd Memory. This sort of Behaviour is not only more Instructive but more Natural too. ”

“ Carlos tells Sancho he is sure of his Mistress,Love Trium. p. 26. and has no more to do but to take out a License.
Sancho replies, Indeed I have her License for it. Carlos is somewhat angry at this Gingle, and cries, what quibling too in your Prosperity? Adversity it seems is the only time for punning. Truly I think so too. For 'tis a sign a Man is much Distress'd when he flies to such an Expedient. However, Carlos needed not to have been so touchy: For He can stoop as low himself upon occasion. We must know then that Sancho had made Himself a Hunch'd Back, to counterfeit the Conde Alonzo. ”

“ The exposing of Knavery, and making Lewdness ridiculous, is a much better occasion for Laughter. And this with submission I take to be the End of Comedy. And therefore it does not differ from Tragedy in the End, but in the Means. Instruction is the principal Design of both. The one works by Terror, the other by Infamy. 'Tis true, they don't move in the same Line, but they meet in the same point at last. ”

“ It being very unlikely one should wish the Repeating a Crime, when He was almost Distracted at the thoughts on't, At the thoughts on't, tho' 'twas comitted under all the Circumstances of excuse. Now when Ignorance and meer Mistake are so very disquieting, 'tis very strange if a Man should plague his Mind with the Aggravations of Knowledge ”

“ That he knows no such Law constantly observ'd in Comedy by the Antient or Modern Poets. What then? Poets are not always exactly in Rule. It may be a good Law tho' 'tis not constantly observ'd, some Laws are constantly broken, and yet ne're the worse for all that. He goes on, and pleads the Authorities of Plautus, and Terence. ”

“ Horace who was as good a judge of the Stage, as either of those Comedians, seems to be of another Opinion. He condemns the obscenities of Plautus, and tells you Men of Fortune and Quality in his time; would not endure immodest Satir.De Art. Poet. He continues, that Poets were formerly admired for the great services they did. For teaching Matters relating to Religion, and Government; For refining the Manners, tempering the Passions, and improving the Understandings of Mankind: For making them more useful in Domestick Relations, and the publick Capacities of Life.Ibid. ”