John McCosh

“ INDISCRETIONS.—Man's own indiscretion is perhaps as frequent a cause of bad health as climate. One man gets coup de soleil shooting snipe in the heat of the day; another catches fever beating the jungle for heavy game; another gets mauled by a tiger or a bear;and another breaks his leg hunting. Some drink themselves, some eat themselves, some sleep themselves,some gamble themselves, some drug themselves into a state of disease; yet the climate gets a great part of the blame. ”

“ On arriving for the first time in a tropical climate, the stranger must be prepared to expect some trifling complaints, but temperance and discretion are his best directors. Above all things, let him be on his guard against the epidemic of new comers—hypochondriasis—as the greatest enemy to health and happiness, as the mildew that nips the bud of his new existence in its opening. But more let him guard against idleness, as the parent of hypochondriasis. It is essential to the enjoyment of a sound mind in a sound body that both be kept in constant exercise ”

“ But such things have influenced the distribution of patronage in all countries and in all ages, and the stranger must not expect human nature in the tropics to form an exception; he, who would pioneer his own way to preferment, may console himself with the conviction that merit is more likely to meet with reward in the Company's service than in any other public Service, and he will find that the greatest ornaments of their armies have been men who by their own talents rose to fortune and renown, and carved out their own patronage. ”

“ STANDARD OF HEALTH.—It would no doubt be a very desirable thing to lay down a standard of perfect health with which to compare the cases of one's patients as he would compare their lineaments and proportions with those of the Venus de Medici and the Apollo Belvidere, and be able to demonstrate their different anomalies. But every man has a sliding scale of his own, by which his health must be measured, and which would be inapplicable to every other. One man may have a pulse ten beats above the average and another ten beats below the average, and yet both may be in perfect health. ”

“ An indulgence that is conducive to the health of one man would be the cause of certain disease in many another. One man may smoke his thirty cheroots a-day, drink his dozen of beer, and yet for years live, laugh at the doctor and get fat upon it, while another would sink under a fourth of these allowances. One man may require some drain upon his constitution to preserve him in health that would be detrimental to most of his acquaintances enjoying as good health as he. ”

“ Experience will show that too much solicitude about one's health is seldom of any service. One is never so apt to catch a cold, as when guarding most against predisposing causes, and it is a well ascertained fact that none are more frequently victims of cholera than those who are always taking precautions against it. ”

“ What is the most important act of a young soldier's life is an every day occurrence to an old one in office. I have known sensitive young men hurt at the coldness of such receptions, and returning to their hotels in disgust. There have been bears in public offices, but such a generation has now passed away, and if a bear is by chance found, he is at least a tame one. If officers, holding such appointments, knew the comfort imparted to a Griff, by a kind demeanor, they would not be niggardly of such trifles. ”

“ The people are almost naked,or clothed in muslin robes, with silver rings on their wrists and ancles, their fingers and their toes,and golden ornaments in their ears and noses, and their caste and rank painted or enamelled on their foreheads, like escutcheons over a gateway. The stranger is agreeably surprised to find them so fair, and even so handsome, with more regular and finer turned features than those of his own countrymen; graceful in their gait, easy and polite in their manners, and in their intercourse with one another highly polished and civilized ”

“ Doing duty at the general hospital is a mere misnomer; for they have no duty to perform, further than to kill time, beyond a discretionary attendance at the morning visit; and they generally leave it as unacquainted with the practical duties of their profession as when they left the university. A reform here is much wanted. The surgeon of the general hospital, with but little duty to perform, ought to have as active and efficient superintendence over young assistants, as the superintendent of cadets in Fort William has over young officers of the line ”

“ To enable officers to give the desirable attendance at these institutions, it would be necessary to give them travelling allowance of sixty rupees a month, the regulated hire of a palkee carriage. Most Assistant Surgeons spin out their time in Calcutta, and see very little of its society; there are so many big wigs, that the tyro is lost in their shade. Nobody knows a stranger, unless the stranger makes the first advances, and calls; and this is so repugnant to the feelings of young men, that they prefer living aloof. ”

“ If a man lose the sight of one eye, or the hearing of one ear, the sense of the remaining one will become much more acute; people born deaf and dumb have generally remarkably good eyesight, and the senses of hearing, touching, tasting and smelling of the blind, strike us with astonishment at their perfection.
Nature is a good surgeon as well as a good physician, and will amputate a limb, or unite a fracture, or salve a wound, or lose a bleeding vessel with very creditable skill. ”

“ The risk of life amongst new-comers is no doubt higher than amongst those inured to the country, and that risk is greater amongst those arriving late in life than amongst those of the age of puberty. Hence a reason why the stranger should be more cautious in his whole economy than the acclimatized. The climate of India is very inimical to children ”

“ I by no means wish to insinuate that Indian society is deficient inhospitality. On the contrary, no part of the world excels it in this virtue;and the frankness with which it is extended is one of the most agreeable features of the country. This is particularly conspicuous in the interior, where, from the scarcity of inns, such is most needed. The door of every house is open to the traveller, and a hearty welcome is found within. ”

“ Nothing is more common than for them to construe a slight cold into a galloping consumption, a headache into the commencement of remittent fever, a bilious diarrhœa into cholera, ringing of the ears into threatened apoplexy, and a spasmodic twinge under the ribs into inflammation of the liver. ”

“ There is a tide in the spirits of men as there is a tide in the affairs of men. There are in the sensorial ocean as many fluctuations as in the great Atlantic; the spring-tides of prosperity, and the neap-tides of adversity ”

“ She even goes far beyond physic and surgery, for if an animal lose a member on which it is dependent for its existence, she now and then supplies a new one; a new claw to the lobster, a new tad to the lizard, new teeth to the alligator, new claws to the leopard. We cannot make a stumble without being conscious of her efforts to avert a fall ”

“ They are in general honest in the weightier matters of the law, but most of them will cheat a little; and not be satisfied unless they pocket six or eight per cent, of all the cash that passes through their hands. It is customary to trust the bearer with all the spare cash of the month; the master seldom sees a rupee, but keeps a running account and closes it twice a week. Besides keeping the cash, the bearer keeps master's keys, wardrobe, and almost everything else, and very rarely, indeed, betrays his trust. ”

“ SERVANTS.—Should the young officer enter into quarters, he will find it necessary to entertain the following servants, viz., a bearer, or footman, at seven rupees a month, a kidmutgar, or table attendant, on seven rupees, a mussalehee, or cook, on four rupees, a washerman on six rupees, a water-carrier, on five, and a sweeper on four, costing him thirty-three a month. Though this is the smallest possible establishment of servants it will no doubt appear a good deal, yet the curse of caste renders such unavoidable. Each man has his particular duty to which he adheres most religiously. ”

“ How often would he find that one portion of his intellectual faculties is preyed on by the other, as if the real ids that flesh is heir to were not enough to embitter sufficiently the cup of life, but that he must needs conjure up the creations of a morbid fancy and transpose his position, unconsciously comfortable, into one beset with all the infirmities of humanity. ”

“ All civil appointments are filled up by the Governor General, or the Lieutenant Governors, with a line of demarcation equally obscure to the general observer.
Patronage in India, as in most parts of the world, is too often dispensed, not according to merit, but according to the interest,in the ordinary sense of the word, possessed by the candidate for preferment. Nepotism is the most certain means of getting on; strong letters from influential parties at home is another; some are promoted for talent ”

“ ARRIVAL IN HOOGLY.— Dreary as the passage may be, and frequently as he may have wished it at an end, yet, when the voyage draws to a close the voyager often wishes it were otherwise, and feels averse to quit the dear old ship; he will feel that he has become a member of a new family ”

“ Such is the inveteracy of the native character that though every one once a-week protests against the damage done, yet no one has been able to effect reform. I need not say how unadvisable it is to beat native servants, as some irritable young men are apt to do. This practice should be seriously avoided, as it is certain sooner or later to get him into trouble. I have on many occasions known natives killed by a blow that was intended only as a chastisement, and courts martial on a charge of manslaughter the consequence. ”

“ Ask her for sleep at a given hour, and she will most likely deny it, and perhaps perversely pester you with it at a time when most wanted; when you are most thirsty you will be farthest distant from the well, when most hungry you will have a long hour and a half to wait for dinner, and when most fatigued you will have still a "guide long bittock" to travel. ”

“ RISK OF LIFE.—The risk of life in India is very considerably greater than in Britain ; and three per cent, premium above the English rate is required on the insurance of lives. The average rate of mortality amongst European troops is five or six per cent, per annum, and of native troops, only one or two per cent. The mortality amongst medical men in all climates is greater than that of most others, and from authentic tables it is ascertained that of 100 medical men only 24 attain the age of 70 ”

“ The offspring of Europeans born and bred in the country is weakly and unhealthy—each successive generation becomes degenerated—even when the British blood has been kept pure, and unless re-invigorated by a European climate, the whole race would, before the fourth generation be extinct or good for nothing. ”

“ His washerman he will find a very serious evil, and that his pay is a trifle compared to the damage he does monthly. He will bring home the linen white as snow and dressed to perfection, but before it has passed four times through his hands it will be in rags. ”

“ Few medical men are good patients, and they are still worse prescribers in their own cases. They are very liable to run into extremes either to underdo or to overdo, and rarely have that composure of mind, that impartiality of judgment,that uncompromising system of treatment which would guide them in similar cases entrusted to their own care. Should he, as will often happen, have no one near to consult, then he must, if possible, divide himself, the intellectual from the corporeal, and endeavour to weigh matters impartially and correctly ”

“ Nor can he be surprised that this is the case, considering how letters of introduction are usually got up; that they are mere attempts to transfer interest from one to another, through the influence of a third party, perhaps, unknown to the bearer, that like bills of exchange, they are often over-drawn,and when presented for acceptance, no assets are found. In fact, I consider most letters as dampers to genuine hospitality; the resident gives the stranger a good dinner as a thing almost imposed upon him without the gratification of thinking it a free gift ”

“ Not contented with letting nature take her own way they force her to take a way of theirs, and drive her so hard in their new regime, that she in time forgets her own,and only recovers her normal functions with great difficulty. ”

“ One man will brush boots and shoes, but would not wash a plate though threatened with a drawn sword. He who cleans knives and forks would think it an unpardonable outrage to be obliged to sweep the floor ”