Various

“ Where all is good it is difficult to establish supremacy. But for simple pathos and for the skill of drawing with a few touches living figures of flesh and blood, this sketch is certainly hard to beat. Yet "A Lad of Pairts" runs it close. A very beautiful book, full of human nature in its simplest form and most pathetic circumstances. ”

“ I asked. "I am not much of an art connoisseur, and I frankly confess I know very little of Old Shoes."
"Old Boots, Sir!" cried Appleblossom, Q.C. "Why I thought all the world knew Old Boots! One of the grandest painters of the eighteenth century! He got that particular delicacy of touch which you can trace in that donkey's ears by never commencing to paint his animals until he was recovering from delirium tremens. Why, Sir, that animal is simply superb. ”

“ Then, when there was an inclination on the part of his colleagues to quarrel amongst themselves, he cleverly fanned the fire, and increased the incipient strife.
"It was the mode adopted by my maiden Aunt, Queen Elizabeth, and it succeeded in her time. Why should the passing of three or four centuries make any difference? After all, human nature is—in fact—human nature!" ”

“ There is something in a name, especially when it happens to be the title of a play. At the St. James's, Mr. Alexander's latest venture has been Guy Domville, by the American novelist Henry James, who if he knew as much about play-writing as he does about novel-writing would probably be in the first flight of dramatists; and he would not have chosen so hopeless a name for his hero and for his play as Guy Domville. For the anti-James jokers would delight in finding that Guy could be "guy'd," and to say as to "Domville" that "a first night audience 'vill dom' the play." ”

“ Each of us, hoarse and exhausted, refuses to yield another centesimo. So do not buy statue for Jones, and give up Florence. Genoa is the last chance.
Genoa.—Velvet? What's the good of velvet to Jones? Besides it is fabulously dear, something like attar of roses at so much a drop. Must give up even Genoa.
London.—Back again. Have bought a biscuit box and sent it to Jones. Since then have met Jones's cousin, and Smith, and Jones's brother-in-law, and Mrs. Robinson, and a few other mutual friends. We disagree in many things, but in one we seem to be unanimous. We have all given him biscuit boxes! ”

“ My deeds themselves are my best record, those deeds which a factious majority in successive Parliaments has, to its everlasting shame, refused to recognise, but which not even the voice of malice, always busy in the task of depreciating genuine achievement, can rob of one particle of their brilliant and immortal lustre. ”

“ I told my story of the grateful client, and young Bands, who I fancy is thinking of reading in my chambers, regarded me (I venture to believe) with increased respect.
"Bless me, you have a treasure!" continued Appleblossom, Q.C., who seemed wrapt in admiration. "That is a genuine Old Boots. You can always tell him from Young Boots by the manipulation of his animal's ears. Look at those, Sir! Splendid! Why, who could [pg 29] paint a donkey like that? By Jove, Briefless, you are in luck! You ought to make a fortune out of it at Christies!" ”

“ It is noteworthy how in recent years, in the matter of fiction, the star of Empire shineth in the North. After Walter Scott established the sovereignty of Scotland in the world of British fiction, there was a long pause. In our generation William Black came to the front. ”

“ I am reminded by this reference to my vacation entertainments, that it was at one of "these feasts of reason and flows of soul" (as my learned and distinguished friend Appleblossom, Q.C., is kind enough to call them) that my fortunes underwent a change for the better. The inhabitants of Justinian Gardens are accustomed to do things very well. When there is a ball, the number of vehicles (always with one horse apiece, and sometimes with a pair) is quite considerable. On such occasions a stranger might imagine that the Gardens had the advantage of a chronic cab-stand. ”

“ At 97 (which I think I may describe as our show-house) there is a butler, and there are few at Justinian Gardens who cannot boast of a "buttons." I do not secure the services of a man-retainer myself, and am consequently not quite in the fashion. However, when I entertain, I do my best to be worthy of the prestige of my neighbours, and put forth all my strength in making my house an object of interest. ”

“ Can't carry home a huge sideboard. All the smaller things can be bought in London.
Milan.—The very place. There is an exhibition here. Shall probably see something beautiful. Italy, cradle of the arts, and all that sort of thing. Besides, so nice to say to Jones, "My dear fellow, here's a little trifle; got it in Milan, you know. It's modern, but then the Italians are always so artistic." ”

“ Alexander will himself be obliged to do to the play what those who ridicule and chaff it have already done, i.e. "take it off."
Mrs. R. admits that she has always been very fond of sweets at dinner. What she is especially fond of is, she says, "a dish of pommes d'Ananias;" and she always adds, "But, my dear, why the French choose such awful names for such nice things is what I never can understand." ”

“ It is bad enough to have foreign labourers competing with our people. But if they are going to send over, bodily, their mills and other labour shops, John Bull will be obliged to put his foot down and kick somebody. ”

“ But besides the dazzling brilliancy of fairy pantomime, there is in it not only real fun which delights the youngsters, for whom the entertainment is primarily intended, but also a touch of dramatic pathos, as shown in the death of the devoted dog Tatters, a dog who has his day and dies, whose cruel fate excites the compassion of old and young alike. All are rejoiced when they find out that clever Mr. ”

“ Characters distributed about the Stage in more or less admired confusion.
Anybody. So we are living in a penny romance. And this is Society.
Charles his Friend. Society is everything but sociable.
Somebody. But why should the Prime Minister be threatened by a professional blackmailer?
Charles his Friend. In matters of this kind the Premier is the dernier.
Someone Else. But surely the same sort of thing has been done by Sardou in Dora?
Charles his Friend. Why not? A dramatist has only one virtue, he never invents a drama. ”

“ Smithson, having recently bought a Country Place and gone in for Sport, has been advised by a Friend to do his own exercising during hard weather, "as it insures your Horses against the neglect of Grooms, and also keeps you in form." ”

“ Proud Mother (to irritable Old Gentleman, whose beard her little Boy is pulling out by the roots) . "Little Darling! It's not often he takes so kindly to Strangers!"
"A DIVIDED DUTY." ["What we fail to perceive, at least to any adequate extent, in the pleadings of the spokesman of the Lancashire Cotton Trade, is a recognition of the paramount importance, even from a commercial point of view, of the Imperial interests that depend on the just and liberal government of India." —The Times.]
Air—"Green Grow the Rushes, O!" Mr. John Bull sings ”

“ It's worse here. A life-size marble statue, or a mosaic table weighing nearly a ton. Have serious thoughts of buying, at a great reduction, an extra large statue, hitherto unsaleable on account of its size, and then telling Jones that his wedding present is waiting for him here, if he will come and fetch it. The dealer asks 2,000 lire. I understand shopping in Italy. Early one morning offer him 50. He at once comes down to 1,000. I go up to 100. ”

“ Fancy being lectured all the way as to what to eat, drink, and avoid, on comportment and deportment, on smoking, on registration of baggage, on economy, etc., etc., by a Bishop and one of the Oscar's. ”

“ Scene closes in upon nothing in particular.
INDUCTION.
"Is this the New Baby, Daddy?"—"Yes, dear."
"Why, he's got no Teeth!"—"No, dear."
"And he's got no Hair!"—"No, dear."
"Oh, Daddy, it must be an Old Baby!"
THE REAL NEW WOMAN.
I own there are heights that she cannot attain. ”

“ The Empress-Queen to visit me doesn't care.
(And doubtless Afghan fashions might make Victoria stare.)
But there—I swear—I'll go!—and I'm going!
Men may say "It's the Shah that this show's about!"—
And another "You're an ass, Sir! ”