Various

“ We read our papers, the Weather-beaten Man in his corner, I in mine. Sir Peter and Sir Thomas smoke, and then both fall asleep. Waking up, they fall to conversing about a trip they have already had on the Regina, comparing notes of comfort and so forth. I'm out of it. So is the Weather-beaten Stranger. I begin to wish I hadn't come, or, at all events, that I had brought my invitation card as proof of my identity, and a verification of my statement. Wish, too, I'd brought Rossher's telegram. No good wishing. ”

“ The yards are manned everywhere. Very pretty. Firing and smoke in distance, hardly any noise, and though there must be cheering somewhere, yet the wind blows it away from us and we hear scarcely a sound. Dull. Through the glass we see the Queen's Yacht passing along: then as the ship swings round we turn and turn, and everybody gets more or less of a stiff neck. ”

“ I am. I could go on my knees to Rossher; I could bless the Steward, Purser, I mean,—whatever a Purser is,—but I content myself with concealing my agitation, thanking Rossher simply but warmly, and then I follow a black man dressed in white, who carries my bag to No. 273. A lovely outside cabin, airy as if it were on deck, with an electric light, and three empty bunks (I think they are called "bunks,"—but am not certain) besides mine. How four persons on a long voyage, or a short one, can live, move, and have their being in this, I don't know ”

“ You young Misses ought to be taught to speak out, 'stead o' mumbling the way you do. Why can't ye give me a Postal Order for five-and-fourpence, and a'done with it, eh?
Miss Goodchild (endeavouring to speak distinctly) . A Post Office Order will be what you require. See, you just fill in that form, and then I'll make it out—it's quite simple.
Old Lady. Yes, I dessay, anything to save yourselves a little trouble! You're all alike, you Post-Office young women. As if I couldn't send five-and-fourpence to my boy down at Toadley in the 'Ole, without filling up a parcel o' nonsense! ”

“ In ten minutes I have made my toilette, including opening my bag and getting out a dark serge for dinner wear, and I walk into the Saloon as the convives are assembling, with the air of a man who is well within his rights.
Happy Thought.—I won't ask Rossher anything more about berth and cabin until after dinner. After dinner is always a good-natured, complaisant time. ”

“ I find four other persons to whom getting away is an absolute necessity, and not one of them knows how he is going to achieve it, and not one of them likes to broach the subject to Rossher. We try the Captain, a bluff seaman, who replies, with a pleasant sort of sea-doggishness, that "he is ready to take the ship wherever Mr. Rossher orders him." At present Mr. Rossher hasn't issued any orders, but he (the Captain) thinks he means sailing for Cherbourg to-morrow (Sunday) early. Cherbourg!! The Purser, on being asked, can't say any more. ”

“ Crowd trooping in out of train. Men in uniform at gangway, directing everyone to go below and get billeted. I join the crowd descending the companion. As everyone comes to a table where certain M.& N. officials are standing, each person shows his or her invitation-card, and receives a number. Then they disappear, some singly, some in couples, as if it were the Ark, and Rossher were Noah settling it all. Evidently the first thing necessary is the invitation-card. Ha! there is Rossher in the distance, at the far corner of the table. ”

“ As a rule the Doctor is not a popular person, but at the Globe she is sure to be always welcome. Any one suffering from that very distressing and prevalent malady, "the Doleful Dumps," cannot do better than go to Newcastle Street for a speedy cure. ”

“ In the not unforeseen, though by no means expected event of the Traction Engine becoming by some accident permanently wedged in and unable to move from some inaccessible pass, it is understood that the party shall separate, and that each member shall be at liberty to return home by any route he may select for himself as most convenient and available for the purpose. ”

“ ELIGIBLE CONTINENTAL TRAVELLING COMPANION.—A D.C.L., B.M., and R.S.V.P. of an Irish University, is desirous of meeting with one or two Young English Dukes who contemplating, as a preliminary to their taking their seats in the House of Lords, passing a season at Monaco, would consider the advertiser's society and personal charge, together with his acquaintance with a system of his own calculated to realise a substantial financial profit from any lengthened stay in the locality, an equivalent for the payment of his hotel, travelling, and other incidental expenses. ”

“ All the Naval Captains on Conservative side make a point of loitering about Treasury Bench, and, if possible, exchange a word with Old Morality. If there is vacancy at Admiralty, will want a substitute. No harm in reminding him of the existence of one or two.
Presently made clear that it is for domestic, not political, reasons that Charlie has resigned. Seems that when at Review on Saturday, he, being on Queen's Yacht, filled up idle five minutes by signalling to his wife on another ship. This grave breach of etiquette shakes naval force of Great Britain to centre. ”

“ But it was Balfour who completed work. As Tim frankly admits, cannot sit opposite Balfour, smirking on Treasury Bench, without losing control of himself.
"I know it's wrong, Toby," he said to me after, in the Lobby, "but there is only one way to prevent it. I must quit the House, and go out for a walk on Terrace. To see Balfour sitting over there on the small of his back, sneering whilst we are trying to do our best for Ireland, is too much for me."
Having had back put up by Balfour, Conservatives below Gangway opposite completed transformation of Tim from peaceable citizen into an infuriate. ”

“ As half the furniture has been seized under a distress-warrant, and as a man in possession is permanently installed, under a bill of sale, in charge of the rest, a recluse of æsthetic tastes, to whom a series of rooms entirely devoid of furniture would present a distinct attraction, and who would find a little friendly social intercourse not an altogether disagreeable experience, might discover in the above an eligible opportunity. ”

“ You see I only telegraphed——" and here I am about to repeat my entire explanation, when Sir Peter and Sir Thomas cut it short by shaking their heads ominously. "I'm going away on Saturday night," I say, as if the prospect of my leaving them soon would soften them a bit.
"Saturday!" returns Sir Peter, with a chuckle. "'Pon my soul I don't see how you're going to do that." And he smiles derisively.
"No one goes on shore till Monday," observes Sir Thomas, with decision. "Certainly not," says the Weather-beaten Man, who is not on the list, turning against me ”

“ Amusing company. Chiefly stories about long voyages, rats and cockroaches. From what I hear I should not like a long voyage in an old ship. We disperse over the vessel. Music, coffee, cigars, and conversation. Lovely sight. Still, it will be lovelier if I am quite certain where I am going to sleep. I find Rossher. ”

“ But to Waiters in gineral and to Hed Waiters in pertickler, nothink is so hawful as hurley rising. As late as you like at nite and as late as you likes in the morning. Them's my sentiments and I means to stick to 'em. And I suttenly thinks as I never seed sitch a sleepy-looking set of gents as assembled at Warterloo Stashun at about arf-past seven, Hay. Hem. on Saturday Morning. ”

“ We, including the unknown man in the corner, with the weather-beaten face—the Knight of the Bronzed Features—congratulate ourselves on being the guests of the M. & N. Sir Peter produces his card of invitation. So does Sir Thomas; so does the Weather-beaten One. I feel in all my pockets. No. I've left it behind me. Sir Peter, Sir Thomas, and the Weather-beaten Stranger eye me suspiciously. There is a lull in the conversation. I tell my story, and try to interest them. It strikes me that they don't believe it ”

“ LIFE IN THE COUNTRY. RARE OPPORTUNITY.—An impecunious Nobleman, whose income has been seriously reduced owing to the prevailing agricultural depression, would be willing to let his Family Mansion to a considerate tenant at a comparatively low rental. ”

“ I ask, somewhat disturbed.
"List of guests," replies Sir Thomas, examining his card.
Weather-beaten Man hasn't got a list; he asks to be allowed to examine Sir Peter's. Aha! the Weather-beaten Man's name is not there. Sir Thomas and Sir Peter eye him with suspicion now. He explains and tells his story. ”

“ Finance is the only subject that may not be discussed in House of Lords. So, where Hubbard was voluble, Addington must be dumb."
Great muster on Opposition Benches in House of Commons. Conservatives not yet back from festivities in the Solent. Old Morality depressed with consciousness that it will be impossible for him to move the Closure. Arthur Balfour quite conciliatory in manner. Progress accordingly comparatively rapid and altogether peaceful. At outset, threatened encounter between Sexton and Johnston. Sexton made inquiry as to whether any chance of City Charter being granted to Belfast? ”

“ He isn't like a mere common Sailer a got to look after the Ship. A Marine is of that shuperior class of man as is allers seleckted to receeve the most himportant hinformation. When anythink of a werry striking charackter occurs it is allers reckomended that it should be "told to the Marines," so they is naterally allays brim full of hinformation, and allers reddy to communicate it troothfully and onerably, as my frend did to me, and without which I shood have remained in my prewious state of hignorance. ”

“ Having probberbly nothink werry pertickler to do of a heavening, they natrally goes to roost hurley, like powltry, and plowmen, and such like, and having probberbly nothink werry pertickler to do in the morning, they natrally gits up hurley to do it, like the powltry aforesaid. ”

“ Some excellent fishing can be had on the sly in the small hours of the morning by dodging the local Middle-man to whom it has been let. Capital rat-shooting over nearly an eighth of an acre of wild farm-yard buildings. ”

“ Speaking about this to my frendly Marine, he told me as they didn't think nothink of that, for when they went to the Troppix, wherever that may be, they allers cooked their stakes and chops on the Fokestal by the heat of the Sun, which did 'em to a turn, and then roasted their Appels for desert, and then biled the Kettel for Tea. What a grand thing is Nolledge! for I am free to confess as I was quite hignorant of all these fax afore. But then it's werry easily accounted for in my frend's case. ”

“ De Lisle proposed to offer few observations. Smartly rapped on head by Courtney, and resumed seat. Then Division. Whilst House cleared, De Lisle took opportunity to have little conversation with Courtney. Tim watched him with lowering eyes. The Division takes about ten minutes. Supposing he and De Lisle were to pair, go on the Terrace, and have it out? Happy Thought. Suggest it to De Lisle. Swooped down on him while talking to Courtney in chair, and plainly propounded proposition.
"Come out!" he said, in blood-curdling whisper. "Come out, if you are a man. ”

“ As he will take in tow two furniture vans containing respectively a Cottage-Hospital and a Turkish-bath, and be accompanied by three doctors, and a German Band, it is scarcely necessary for him to point out that the details of the trip will be carried out with a due regard to the necessities of health and recreation. ”

“ Debate followed, Tomlinson moving adjournment. House divided, 75 for adjournment and five-and-seventy against. Everything now depended on the Speaker. If he gave casting vote against adjournment, might go on merrily far into morning. Speaker took another course. Quite time to go home. So supported adjournment, and rest of business speedily wound up. [Pg 60]
Tuesday Evening.—Charlie Beresford about House to-night in unusually limp condition. Avoided Treasury Bench. Wouldn't even enter House. "Only come down," says he, "to signal postmaster to hand over letters." ”