Walter Cox Green

“ WOMEN. A woman should not look with a pained and injured air at the men passengers because no one of them has offered her a seat. The great influx of women into the commercial world, and their being thrown into direct competition with men, has largely done away with the fine old custom of men giving up their seats to women. The impoliteness of many women in accepting a seat as a matter of right and not of courtesy, and perhaps without a "Thank you," has helped largely to bring about the present state of affairs. ”

“ If possible, a woman should have her car-fare handy or easy of access-preferably in her hand-before entering the car if it is crowded. A woman should avoid crowding into a small space between others, and it is better for her to stand than to occupy barely the edge of a seat. If it is absolutely necessary for her to enter a crowded car, she should do so with an apology to those whom she may crowd. ”

“ RESTAURANTS. If at a table, and a woman bows, the man should rise and bow in return. If a man is one of a party sitting at a table, and a woman with her escort stops to pass greetings, he should rise and stand until they depart.
One man introduced to another who is surrounded by male friends should rise to acknowledge the honor of the introduction.
When a man is with a woman he should exercise great care in recognizing male acquaintances who may be in doubtful company. He should avoid being in such company himself when in such places. ”

“ THEATRE. A young man may invite a young woman to the theatre or opera, even if he has but a slight acquaintance with her, but of course he should secure the permission of her parents or chaperone.
It is correct for the young man to inquire if the young woman prefers a box, or, if not, he should state in what part of the house he proposes to secure seats. ”

“ A business man may call in street dress before six o'clock in the evening, or thereafter if intimacy warrants.
Evening, or other than mere formal calls, should not be made, save by special invitation.
A man should leave his card when calling. If his hostess is married, he should leave one also for the host. If she is out, he should leave two.
When calling upon a young woman whose hostess is not known to the man, he should send his card to her.
If the woman is seated when a man enters the room, she rises to greet him, and, if she wishes, shakes hands. ”

“ In the dining-room the men, assisted by the waiters, help the women.
When the reception is a small formal one, the guests may stay a longer time, and usually it is better to take leave of the hostess, unless she is much occupied at the time.
HOST. Except when a newly married couple give a house-warming or a reception, the host does not stand beside his wife, but spends the time in making introductions, and doing his best to make the function a success.
When some married woman or woman guest of honor assists his wife to receive, he should at the proper moment escort her to the dining-room. ”

“ GROOM. He pays for the bridal bouquet carried by the bride at the wedding ceremony, and, if he wishes, for the bouquets carried by the bridesmaids.
MEN. If well acquainted with a debutante's family, a man may send her flowers at the time of her debut.
After a slightly intimate acquaintance, a man can present flowers to a young unmarried woman as a token of sympathy either of joy or sorrow.
It is not usual for a man to send flowers to a woman who is a mere acquaintance.
BALLS. It is permissible for a man, if he wishes, to send flowers to a woman he is to escort to a ball. ”

“ If they are surrounded by guests, a pleasant nod of farewell is admissible.
MEN. At a wedding, the opera, or a dance, and all very formal occasions, gloves should not be removed when shaking hands.
If the hostess wears gloves at any formal affair, a man wears his when he shakes hands with her. He should give a slight pressure only.
A man with hands gloved should never shake hands with a woman without an apology for so doing, unless she likewise wears gloves. A sudden meeting, etc., may make a handshaking in gloves unavoidable. Unless the other party is gloved, a man should apologize. ”

“ WOMEN. A woman should always keep any engagement made, if possible. If, for a good reason, it is desired to break one, she should do so in ample time to enable the man to secure a partner.
It is bad form to refuse one partner for a dance and to accept another for the same dance afterward. After refusing to dance, a woman should lose that dance unless previously engaged.
A woman may refuse to dance at a public entertainment.
A young woman chaperoned should not accept a man's invitation, unless he first asks permission of her chaperone. ”

“ A man should never ask for an invitation to a ball for another person, except for his fiancee or a near relative.
A woman may ask for an invitation for her fiance, a brother, or a male friend of long standing, or for a visiting friend. She should take care that she does not ask it for some one known to the hostess and whom the latter does not desire to invite. No offense should be felt at a refusal save, possibly, in the case of a brother, sister, or fiance. ”

“ There should be no smoking at afternoon entertainments, unless the men are requested to do so by the host and hostess.
At balls a room for smoking is generally provided. Smoking is not in good taste if a man is going to dance, as the odor of tobacco clings to the clothing. There should be no smoking in the dressing-rooms.
Smoking a pipe in the street is becoming more common. It is poor taste, however, on a fashionable street. At best, any smoking in the street is bad form. ”

“ He should depart with as little ceremony as possible—a bow and a smile, if host and hostess are engaged, are sufficient. He should not shake hands and try to speak unless it can be done without becoming conspicuous. ”

“ The groom and the best man usually breakfast together on the wedding-day and arrive in ample time at the church.
Upon the arrival of the bride in the vestibule, the clergyman enters the chancel, followed by the groom and the best man. The groom then steps forward, and stands at the left of the clergyman, facing the audience. It is a good plan for both the groom and best man to leave their hats in the vestry, but if the groom has not done so, he gives his hat and gloves to the best man on the approach of the bride, and advances to meet her. ”

“ A man should greet his acquaintances on the street quietly and courteously, and if on a crowded street, should step out of the way of persons and be brief in his remarks.
In all public places and conveyances a man should offer his seat to a woman, though he is not expected to do so when reserved seats can be obtained—as, in a theatre, at an opera, etc. ”

“ A man finding few friends at a ball should ask some friend, or the hostess, to introduce him to some women whom he can invite to dance.
It is an act of discourtesy for a man not to request a dance of a woman to whom he has been introduced.
A man escorting a woman to a ball should agree where to meet her after they have each left their wraps at the dressing-rooms. ”

“ SUPPERS GIVEN BY MEN—WOMEN. A young woman may accept a man's invitation, provided she has the consent of her mother or guardian, and is assured that a chaperone will be present.
SUPPERS—MEN. Suppers are generally for men. The hours are from ten to eleven. A man can give such entertainments in bachelor apartments or restaurant, and if women are invited, chaperones should be present.
The invitations may be given personally, written, or a visiting-card may be used, giving hour and date. If the supper is given in honor of a special guest, engraved cards or note sheets are used. ”

“ HOST. When supper is announced, the host leads the way with his partner, followed by hostess and escort, the rest following.
HOSTESS. She should limit the number of guests to the capacity of the house.
Invitations should include more men than women, for some men may not attend, and of those who do come, some may not dance.
An awning and carpet should be spread from curb to steps. The man stationed at the curb should open carriage doors for arriving and departing guests, distribute carriage- checks, and tell the drivers at what hour to return. ”

“ After the congratulations of the clergyman, she parts the bridal veil, arranges the bride's train, and follows the bride down the aisle to the vestibule.
Here, after giving her best wishes to the bride, she takes her carriage to the bride's house to take part in the reception or breakfast.
DAY OF WEDDING. She should be at the house of the bride on the morning of the wedding-day to assist the bride's mother, to see that the trousseau is all ready and packed, that the bridesmaids are on time, and to attend to the many details liable to arise. ”

“ At the first call he should give his card at the door. At following calls it is optional whether to give a card or merely the name, asking at the same time for the person one desires to see. When the servant's intelligence seems doubtful, or the name is an unusual one, it is safer to give a card.
When a woman invites a man to call without specifying when, it is not considered as an invitation at all, but merely as a formal courtesy.
It is bad form to solicit by innuendo or otherwise an invitation to call from a woman. It is her privilege to make the first move in such matters ”

“ Friends of the groom who have no acquaintance with the bride's family should send their cards to those inviting them.
Those who do not receive wedding invitations, announcement, or "At Home" cards should not call on the married couple, but consider themselves as dropped from their circle of acquaintance.
WOMEN RECEIVING AND INVITING MEN. The invitation to call should be extended by the woman, and if she does not specify the time, will naturally be considered as an act of courtesy, but not as an invitation. ”

“ Those invited to an entertainment are on equal footing; it is therefore not necessary to introduce one to another. Conversation may be held without this formality, though introductions may take place if desired. When an introduction occurs, future recognition is not warranted. For this reason great care should be exercised at entertainments that only those who are congenial to each other should be brought together. ”

“ If a man comes alone and has no partner, he should seek hostess or assistants, and request an introduction to women who dance.
After a dance a man should take a short stroll about the room with his partner before returning to her chaperone. Before retiring he may converse with her in general terms, from which he should have refrained previously.
A man escorting one or more women should see that they are cared for when supper is announced. ”

“ If visit of neighbor's male relative is desired, a woman may send him a written or verbal invitation; but if visit is not desired, no notice is taken of his card, in the event of one having been left.
RESIDENTS' DUTY TO MEN. When calling, kinswoman leaves cards of all the male members of family who are in society. If these cards left by kinswoman are not followed by an invitation to call, it is presumed that the acquaintance is not desired. Men can not call upon women of the family of new resident, unless invited to do so by either verbal or written message. ”

“ Parents should not speak of or introduce their children as MISS ANNA, but simply MY DAUGHTER ANNA. Only before servants should they be spoken of as MISS ANNA.
Persons of celebrity should have introductions made to them. Men should always be introduced to women, the younger to an elder person, and unmarried persons to the married. Persons at an entertainment are introduced to the guest of the occasion. ”