Wallace Irwin

“ The pin to flash on Cupid is 'Skidoo!' The call for Sweet Sixteen is "23." But say! Life looks goshawful on the stretch Without a Ray of Sunshine in my flat, With no one there to call me "Handsome wretch," And dust the fuzz and mildew off my hat. ”

“ When Pansy starts to send a wireless wave She simply just can't make her eyes behave!
IV On every car there's always one fat coot What goes to sleep and dreams he's paid his fare. And when you squeak he gets the Roosevelt glare, And hoots, "I won't be dickied with—I'll shoot!" ”

“ Gilly ain't the kind That understands when people talk refined.
X Three days with sad skidoo have came and went, Yet Pansy cometh nix to ride with me. I rubber vainly at the throng to see Her golden locks—gee! such a discontent! Perhaps she's beat it with some soapy gent— Perhaps she's promised Gill the Grip to be His No. 1 till Death tolls "23!" While I am Outsky in the supplement. Now and anon some Lizzie flags the train And I, poor dots, cry, "Rapture, it is her!" Yet guess again—my hope is all in vain And Pansy girl refuses to occur. ”

“ These Sonnets, written neatly on twenty-six violet transfer-slips, were discovered, together with a rejection blank from a leading magazine, in the Dead Letter office. According to the current folk-lore in Harlem and the Bronx, Smith is now living in California employed as a brakeman on the Southern Pacific Railroad. Some aver that Pansy fell heiress to a sausage establishment and moved to Italy with her Poet. Still others maintain that Pansy, Gill the Grip and Maxy the Firebug never existed in real life—were merely the mind-children of a Symbolist and a dreamer of dreams. ”

“ But when your arms are full of girl and fluff You hide your nerve behind a yard of grin; You'd spit into a wild cat's face or bluff A flock of dragons with a safety pin. Life's a slow skate, but Love's the dopey gum That puts a brewery horse in racing trim.
EPILOGUE Kind reader, when you 'phone don't ask for me Enquiring how a Flossie should be won— There isn't any Rule Book, are you on? And Queenie can't be coaxed by recipee. Some girls like hard-luck music, minor key, Some like the Gas-car Gussie act, hot ton, Others are simply fierce for Jolly John Who loves to make a noise like repartee. ”

“ Slang is not common to vertebrate fishes or to whales, seals, reptiles or anthropoid apes—in a word, slang-speaking is nowhere prevalent among lower animals. It may, then, be definitely and clearly asserted that Slang is the natural, logical expression of the Human Race. ”

“ Holdfast with an injured air Pungles his nick and ends the bum dispute. It's ever thus on this here rolling ball— You've got to pop your coin to ride so far. The yap that kicks and rings a deadhead call Must either spend or else get off the car. ”