“ Jock. A deed stir, there was twa of them but there's ane of them dead.
Just. A well than John, you'll have the more to give the one that is alive.
Jock. O! but sir it's my ain wean that's dead, the ane I got wi' my wife, I dinna ken whither the tither be mine or no.
Just. Yours or no sir, when you told me you got it, if you should get it wi' a beggar wife at the back of the dyke, what's that to the purpose; when it's of your getting you most maintain it.
Jock. O! yes, stir, am no refusing to gie crest and meal to maintain it, but my mither winna let me to the black stool. ”

“ Jock. What does the fool mean wad ye dress a dead woman, she'll never gang to kirk nor market again.
Mag. A dear John be at ease, ye ken she mauna be burried as she is, a sark and a winding sheet is the least she can get.
Jock. Ah ha, Maggy is that what you mean she has a good new winding sheet, it was never about her shoulders yet, sae maggy do it a' yoursel and I'se gar Clinkum Bell measure the grave an make it.
Now when they had brought out the corps John told the people they were welcome to haud in a cheek o' his auld Mither wast the gate; and being laid right on the spakes. ”

“ Up gets auld Maggy, Jock's mither in the morning, puts on the kettle, an makes her Youl-sowens, the meikle pot hung on the fire a' night wi' the cheek o' an auld cows head, skims aft the fat, and mak's a great couge o' brose then pours on a chappen o'clean criesh like oil, which made a bra' sappy breakfast for Jock an his mither, an Maggy got the cog to feart. The brose being done, an a' things ready he halters the black mare, lays on the funks an a covering; fine furniture for a country wife. ”

“ Jockey's mither fell a flyting an be himself a rubbing his lugs, and riving his hair, saying, O gin I were but ae haf ell higher, I sud be a soger or it be lang, an gie me a gude flail or a cor fork: I sud kill Frenchmen enew, before I gaed to face yon flytting ministers, an be set up up like a werald's wonder, on their cock stool or black stool an' wha can bide the shame, when every body looks at them, wi' their sack-ca farks or gowns on them, like a piece of an auld can's prickt about a body, for naething but what every body does amaist, or they be married as well as me. ”

“ Call on his mother. (In she comes.) Goodwife, we have ordered your son to appear three Sabbaths on the stool, and there to be reproved before the congregation publicly, and be absolved from the scandal. ”

“ Jock Indeed master minister, am very easy about repentance, an for your stool, it's a feard am very easy about for I'm but bashfu', an' as I was never guilty of getting bystarts, cither before, or sinsye, except in thoughts, words, deeds, an' actions, I think ye may even let me pass; I suffer'd enough wi' the clash o' the kintry, an' loss of my ain wean it was nae bystart, ye canna gar me stand for that. ”

“ Jock. Ay, ay, mither, tho' I fell ye needna fa'n abune me, an gin ye had lyen whar ye lighted first, ye wadna tumbled into the well It's an unco thing a body canna get a fa' buby fa' abune them; auld ruddoch that thou is, thou might a hauden better by the rump'e, an ye wadna a bruised a' my back wi your auld hard banes, nor a wat a' yoursel sae, an see how you hae drummel'd a, John Dav'es well.
Mith. Hech, quo she, I wonder ger I be kill'd! Thou was wount to get the word of a good rider, baith upon hussies an horses, an this be thy managment thou's little worth ”

“ Then the ill thief be in his arse. Mess John, gin c'er he set his hip upon't: my bairn on your black stool! an wadna it be a great blunder on the auld black face o't, to my son to gang on't before the young laird who has had twa bystarts, an ne'er set a hip on't yet, an he's continually ridding on the hussies to this day, an them that wadna' let him, he rives their duds, an kicks their doups. A dear Mess John, on ye gie gentle fouks a toleration to whore, to fornicate, kiss, an cuddle a wee wi' ilka body they like, I'll gie you ten nerks an gie't to me an my son too. ”

“ Jock, A mony thanks to you Mess John now cause ye hae christend baith my bairn, an my bystart, I hope you ll forgive me the buttock male.
Min. John I desire you to be silent and speak none here; you must keep a straight walk in time coming, free of scandal or offence.
Jock, Ay stir and how think ye the like o' me can walk straight wi' sic auld baucheld shoon as mine, among sic rugh rigs, highs an' hous as I hae to harle through. ”

“ Hout, tout I canna hear o't, by they'll be nae fear o' me now, I'm safe at my ain door, thanks to the and the auld heast it brought me; heat my feet wi the bannock stane, an lay me in my bed, fling four pair o' blankets and a caunes on me, I'll be weel enough ance I were better, sweith Maggy gae make me a cog fu' o' an a plack's worth o' spice in them, nae fear o' an aul wife as lang as she's louse behind, an can tack meat,
Jock, I se be't mither, a e'n fill up the boss o' your belly, you'll stand to the storm the better, I'se warrant ye never die as lang aa ye can take your meat. ”

“ Up gets Jocky an rins o'er the riggs for John Roger's wife, auld Katty the howdy, but or he wan back the parted wi' Patrick thro' perfect spite, an' then lay twa fauld o'er a stool in a swoon.
Jock. A weel, a weel, sirs, since my first born is e'en dead without seeing the light o' the warld, ye s a get bread an cheese to the blyth meat; the thing we shou'd a war'd on the banket will fair the burrial, an that will be some advantage: an if Maggy shou'd die, I maun e en tak Janny, the tane is as far a length as the tither: I'se be furnish'd wi' a wife atween the twa. ”

“ The warrant being given to John King the constable, who went away with Clinkum Bell on Saturday's morning, and catched John at his breakfast, hauls him awa' ane at ilka oxter, like twa butcher hogs, hinging at a bulls beard; his mother followed, driving him up witn good counsels, my bra man Johny, had up your head, dinna think shame, for a' your fauts is but perfect honesty, you're neither a thief, whore nor horse-dealer.
Then Maggy ran for uncle Rabby, and uncle Rabby sent to Sandy the sutor of Seggyhole ”

“ Jock. Deed stir it was then the wean was first gotten.
Mess J. A John, John, I find you ont to be a sinful liver; you and that woman has had carnal dealings for sometime: it is ill to keep the cow out of the corn, if she once get a way o going to it; ye should actually a married the poor woman, when ye cohabited so long together.
Jock. No stir, we did not habit together, tho' she kist me, an I kist her, sometimes in the ba'n, an sometimes in the byre, nane kent o't but my mither, an she wadna let me take her but sent me away to court our Maggy. ”

“ Up gets uncle Rabby, an auld Sandy the sutor of Seggyhole, to put every thing in order; they prappet up the bed wi a rake an a rippling kame; the bearers being baoken they made a solid foundation of peats, and laid on the cuff beddan bowsters, where Jockey an Maggy was beddet the second time.
Jockey no being used to ly with a naked woman, except heads and thraws wi' his mither, gets his twa hands about the brides neck, an his hough out our the brides hurdies, saying I ne'er kist wife nor lass naket before, an for fairness I'd bite you, I'II bite you, I'll bite you, &c. ”

“ Mar. An it be nae better nor the last ye may een keep it to yoursel, your groat meal an gay meal, and dust and feeds, course enough to feed cocks an hens besides a woman in her condition.
Mith. A foul be your gabs, ye'er a sae gash o' your gabbies; a wheen fools that stuffs up your gutses wi' hacket kail brose made o' groat meal and gray meal, sands seeds dust an weak shilling, ony thing is good enough to fill the guts, an make t---ds of.
Jock. Na, na, mither as the wean wad suck our Maggy, I sud tak it hame in my oxter,
Mith. O ye fool, Maggy's milk is a mould, salt an sapless lang syne ”

“ Jock. O mither! I canna leav t I like it sae weel, it has twa bonny glancing een, just like mine in a kikan glass, I wonder how I was able to get the like o't, indeed mither I think mair o't, nor of my grey horse, Maggy an the four Kу.
Mith. My man Johnny ye're at nae strait about bairns getting, nane needs gang to London to learn that auld trade; I ken very weel when ane gets warklooms right to their hand, nature will teach them how to fa' too. ”

“ Jock. Na but stir I want baith the words an the water, what ye say to ither fouk say to me.
Min. A but John you must give security or satisfaction you're a man under scandal
Jock. What the muckle mischief stir, tho' under scandal or abune scandle, will ye refuse to christen my wean that's honestly gotten in my ain wife's bed beneath the blankets; caus I had a bystart canna ye christen the weel com'd ane, let the bystard stand for it'e ain skaith without a name. ”

“ Wae be to thee on that ill gotten get o' thine O! let never better tounty be gotten wi' bystarts getting; an this is so much for the fruits o' fornication, a war stance nor the black stool yet.
Jock. Let's a bee now wi' your auld taunts about bystarts getting, or I'se gie you the wind o the mear's tail, an gar you wammel hame an a' your wat coats about you. ”

“ Do ye think that our John wha has a wife of his ain, coud come and wait on her as if she were a dame o' honour, or yet an honest man's wife, poor silly lown that she is, an had he thought on what he was com'd of he wad ne'er a offer'd benevolence to the like o' her. ”

“ Mess J. How long is it since ye was first acquaint.
Jock whan she came to be my mither's lass, I never saw her but ance before, an gin I had ne'er seen her, I had never kend her after sic a fashious fashion.
Mess J. How long was sherving your mother?
Jock. Just twa hail years; an I gat her wi' bairn about a year after the came, an' its no a year yet since I was married.
Mess J. Dear John there is a contradiction indeed, a woman cannot go two years with child. ”

“ I'm sure I cou'd ne'er get her wi' bairn an my breeks on.
Mith, Na, na, poor simple silly lad, the wean's no yours: ilk ane loups on anither, an you get the wyte o' a' the bystarts round about.
Up get's Maggy wi' a roar, an rives her hair, cries her back, belly, an baith her sides; ahe weed an gut goes thro' my flesh like lang needles, nails, or elshin irons, wae be to the day that e'er I saw his face, I had better married a tinkler, or followed the fogers as mony a honest man's dochter has done, an liv'd a better life than I do. ”

“ Mese J. You appear to be such a stupid fellow, the like of you should neither bave laful child or bastard, and I admire that such an ideot as you, was allowed to be married to any woman and you James, who is an elder of that proportion, should have give information of that man's capacity, before he was joined to a wife. ”

“ I think whan he's gie the lazy hulk the mither o't. baith meal an grots to maintain it ye needna fash him; he is a dutiful father indeed weel I wat, whan he feeds his bystards sae weel.
Mess John. Woman, are ye a hearer of the gospel, that ye reject the dictates of it? How come ye to despise the discipline of the church? is not offenders to be rebuked and chastised?
Mith. Yes stir, a that is very true; but I hae been three or four times throw the Bible an the New Tastement, an I never saw a repenting stool in't a ”

“ O ye silly sumph, is that the thanks I get for counselling you to do well, warna me ye wad a been married on a loun like leiper, lazy lump, who had neither wit nor wiles, no sae much judgment as wise the wind frae her ain tail, but lute it gag afore fouk. Up gets the elders crying, Fy, fy, Duncan the bellman drive that wicked wife to the door, she disturbs us all. ”

“ An ye had a been as great an instrogater against his making her double ribbet, as ye are now against doing her justice, for the filthy jimerack he's gien her, ye wadna need to ca' her silly lown the day, an him an honest man, but the ne'er an honest man wad a hoodl'd sae lang on ae por hussie an then gaen awa' an married anither for love o' a pickle auld clouts an twa or three pockfus o' tow and she is but a silly lown indeed that lute him or ony rattle scull else, shake their tail sae ling upon her, without his faith and his troth, as his nieve before the minister. ”