active 19th century Novice

“ Now, dear Mistress O'Neal, you've a very snug home,
'Tis a thousand of pities you live all alone
With no male to protect you. I know a young fellow
Who the place of your slave would supply very well. O
He's just the right size; is not ugly, very.
Has a voice for a song; is lively and merry.
Can hedge, ditch, reap, and sow; can attend to a farm;
While his heart is so soft he a flea would not harm.
Then he dotes upon children, from Pat's age to Mike's,
And those sweet babes of your'n are the sort that he likes. ”

“ His sport, I fear, is not unmix'd delight.
He once or twice had drawn the line up tight,
And thought by strength to drag the fish out right,
But feared that, p'rhaps, it like the other might
Escape; so slackening, granted a respite
To Jack, who, rushing forth with new delight,
Seemed much astonished at this act polite.
Another hour! and lively as before
The pike appears; while Peter, wearied sore,
With itching fingers longs his fate to try,
Yet dares not stand the hazard of the die.
But with a dash the fish the die has cast,
For through his hand the slippery line ran fast ”

“ And for fun, on a hook
Soused us head over heels in the depths of the river, [Pg 76]
For the fishes to bite
Till we're washed away quite.
But the thought is enough to make any worm shiver.
But your sport
Is all caught,
And 'tis our turn to tease.
We can't hook
You—but, look
You, you won't get much ease,
For your ears we shall enter, and down your throat dive:
Whilst, to make the most of you, as rivals we'll strive:
But your bones will be left when we've finally done
To be washed by the rain and made white by the sun. ”

“ Said the Abbot, who seemed much amused;
"It is really too bad!
Sure the man must be mad:
Such an offer, what maid could refuse?
Sir, you'd better allow me for life to provide
For your child, by converting her into a bride.
As her poor little heart will undoubtedly break,
If you cruelly make her her first love forsake."
"But it is not a daughter," the other replied;
"'Tis the man is my boy, who, if now he decide
To be snared by yon penniless girl, for himself
Must look out, for no finger he lays on my wealth." ”

“ Jonas, "Come, Murphy, lead her;
And, Patrick, you run for a doctor to bleed her."
"Oh, the wretch that I am! what a baste of a feller
Thus to tease her to death, when I might as well tell her.
It's no fault of my own if the girls will admire.
Sure I cannot look ugly because I desire?
Oh, pray come to, my dearest! my angel, revive!
Do but squeeze out a smile, just to show you're alive.
If you're not quite well soon, and my folly forgive,
I shall ne'er more be happy as long as I live." ”

“ Poor Peter, through unlucky fate,
Has not been fishing out of late. [Pg 155]
He cannot fly that fearful dream,
Which in the dusky night will seem
To float before his slumb'ring gaze
To fright his heart, and thoughts amaze.
The Abbot fills him, too, with fear;
He fancies he is always near,
He cannot from his presence get,
But feels like some one dunn'd for debt.
And trembles when he meets those eyes
That love to catch him by surprise.
But dogs can't always watchful keep;
Most wide-awake men sometimes sleep;
And Peter gains a short respite
From thoughts which needlessly affright. ”

“ I would say, ere my inkstand I close, then my quill
Must return to his duty, and figure away,
And keep humbly a-summing accounts which won't pay:
If a fish should get loose,
Which, p'rhaps, grumblers may choose,
From your line, what's the use,
May I ask, of abuse,
Though it may be the largest has broken away?
Will an oath for a moment persuade it to stay?
You remind me of perch, who, regardless of Fate,
Often bite at a hook though quite guiltless of bait;
So that anglers who angry become when they roam,
Lest their tempers they lose had best leave them at home. ”

“ Though a spinster,—'tis sure,
She can flirting endure;
Her age when truth calculates right is
Forty—but, O dear me, pray what am I about?
I shall get by the fair sex kicked certainly out;
I should only have said what is true, by the bye,
That though out of her teens she has ne'er got a tie.
But pray who is that beauty of very great size,
Who can't sit on one chair though she struggling tries,
With large gooseberry eyes, and complexion as sallow
As a half-melted dip of inferior tallow?
By her beak her I know, which is long and red, rather—
She is spouse to the man who is Flanagan's father. ”

“ But vain his hope, though time away
Skips fast; the fish admire delay,
And scarce to him attention pay. [Pg 158]
Perchance, his want of skill they saw,
And from destruction quick withdraw
To where they may their lives insure.
'Tis but midday, yet darkness shrouds the sky,
For clouds of blackness furiously roll by.
The watery sun has fled, but not to rest—
Behind a cloud which overflows the West—
The distant thunder strikes the list'ning ear,
And streams of lightning pour down far and near.
Yet still dame Nature grasps the slippery rains,
Who, struggling, long to scour the dusty plains. ”

“ Quick to make one's self scarce! I have oft found it so;
And have felt much inclined, as I quarrelled with Fate,
To chuck in the old fellow instead of ground bait.
But, if haply you 'scape from his telescope sight
You will ever be losing some relishing bite
While your gazing around, as he probably might
(Popping upon you unseen) , make you jump in a fright.
Now to those men who dare
Fish on Sundays—"Beware,"
I would say; "and take very great care
Lest a fish of great size,
Take you off by surprise,
And before you're aware should effect your demise." ”

“ As soon as seen, or p'rhaps are heeded not,
By our friend Peter, for behold his line
Gently unrolls and cleaves a watery mine.
With patient, anxious, fate-imploring look,
He trembling hopes that now his laden hook
May sink low down into the dark abyss,
Midst fishes' entrails, where it cannot miss
Its deadly hold; and where, till life shall fly,
The barbèd hook immoveable may lie. ”

“ Who would angling define as a stick and a string,
Which a worm and a fool into close contact bring.
No! The sport I admire, and when the fish will but bite,
'Tis a feeling which almost amounts to delight.
Though a trifling addition will heighten, indeed,
The pleasure, I mean, if some nice girl would read
Out aloud by your side, and would shadow your eyes
From the sun, and away drive the flies
With her neat parasol. I have asked, but must state
I could never persuade one to stick on the bait.
Though some ladies I know who can pull out a fish
With as much skill and science as Walton could wish. ”

“ His son, Flanagan Ted, is a nice little feller,
At least, so says Clare—and pray, who should know weller?
He is tall, handsome, well-made, and folks say they never
Have beheld a young man more polite, or so clever.
Near, of course, to his side,
Sat his young future bride,
Who seems much inclined to be jealous.
Speaks he but to another,
She her thoughts can scarce smother,
And sighs like a pair of new bellows. ”

“ For, like yourself, I love the sport,
And 'twas this sparkling stream which brought
Out hitherward my feet.
What numbers, sir! what splendid trout!
You must have early sallied out:
Such sport I seldom meet!"
"A stranger, then, you are," said he;
"The fishes here bite mostly free,
They love the gaudy fly. ”

“ Now back to the friar
I fain must desire
My reader's attention to turn;
Who is round the place looking,
While his fish are a-cooking,
A snug spot for a nap to discern.
A box full of worms he has laid by his side—
A present young Pat never fails to provide,
And gives him whenever he sees him.
Though often for fun he would place there instead
A snail or a frog, or defunct chicken's head;
It gave him such pleasure to tease him.
For old Peter was one who could not stand a joke,
And at one time young Pat got his head nearly broke
Through a comical trick which he played him. ”

“ He exclaimed, and his face with excitement fierce burns,
"Ah, it now has stopt short! 'tis to pouch it," he thought;
"Look! 'tis running again, and the fellow is caught!"
But, alas! when he struck, to his grief and dismay
He discovered, the jack had his bait torn away.
"O how foolish," he said; "it was of me to throw
That fine gudgeon away! I might guess 'twould be so.
I detest using live bait, you're certain to lose them,
For it seems the fish think they're put to amuse them,
And away he will drag them, or into bits chews them—
Just avoiding the hook, which might stick in their teeth. ”

“ For 'tis money alone manufactures the man.
Young O'Donoghue, too,
Is a bit of a screw,
For he wears an old coat which has never been new.
The plain English of which is,
That, in spite of their riches,
'Twas a pair and a half of his father's old breeches.
He has shouldered two legs—for the tails split another;
While his back took a seat which his neck too will cover.
Now they're all introduced but a queer little man,
With broad nose, bushy hair, and complexion like tan;
Who a foreigner seems, quite a fresh importation,
An exotic transplanted from some foreign nation. ”

“ Till the beautiful Clare, by young Flanagan Ted
(Her long-betrothed lover) , was joyfully led.
When "Ah!" he exclaimed; and again closed his eyes,
Just to ponder, no doubt, on some subject more wise;—
On the frailty, perhaps, of the masculine sex,
Who allow pretty faces their thoughts to perplex,
And their hearts twirl about like a conjurer's plate,
While they kindly persuade them they can't avoid Fate. ”

“ In vain the fish, with wistful eye,
Might long to seize his tempting fly,
For rod and line unheeded lie
Quite harmless on the shore.—
At breakfast also, by the bye,
The trout got cold, or very nigh,
Before he asked if I would try
Another mouthful more.
I asked his name, and, as I thought,
My voice him to remembrance brought;
"The Doctor I am called," said he;
"Though years have passed since I a fee
Have taken for my skill.
My name is Hall, so—Doctor Hall
Will kill or cure all folks who call,
With bleeding, draught, or pill. ”

“ Well, 'tis true you seem made after such a prescription;
But it does not do justice, as I can assure ye.
I'll remand you till eve, when assemble the jury,
And then if this gown that I've bought you'll appear in,
The verdict of guilty I'm certain of hearing:
For all of your guests will of envy be dying,—
The women, because you their charms are out-vieing;
The men, 'cause I've won you while vain they were trying. ”

“ In vain his basket tried to fill,
Not from the want of fish but skill;
Which place since then has haunted been;
For oft on dusky nights is seen [Pg 31]
A fisherman, who strives in vain
Advantage o'er a fish to gain,
Until you near, when with a scream
He plunges headlong in the stream.
This story first in early youth
I heard, and, lest it might be truth,
I ne'er the place have ventured nigh
Until the sun was pretty high.
But I forget, you do not know
The tale; but read, and I will show
You where it is, that you may go
('Tis best upon a drizzling night)
To see this worried angling sprite. ”

“ Although fearing 'tis vain,
And for the dead worm puts a fresh in its place.
Then he looks at his fish, which are covered with grass,
(Lest any one rambling should happen to pass) ,
But he finds there's but two, and those small ones, alas!
So he said, "But one half-hour I'll stay here, and then
If I don't catch another I'll go to my den.
For I might just as well be performing my duty,
As being here roasted and spoiling my beauty.
But let's see, by the bye,
They might rise at a fly—
There's lots on the wing, so I'll catch one and try." ”

“ But a voice his attention that moment arrested—
'Tis a subject, perchance, in which he's interested.
So once more his gaze pierced the keyhole right through,
Where he had of the table an excellent view.
"How are you, my angel? Much pleasure it gives
Me to see you! For your sake alone Murphy lives.
Though your beautiful charms all his brains are fast stealing,
And his heart it would break did you hurt but a feeling. ”

“ Thou ne'er couldst think this crime would pleasure me.
Thy witch-like spells, by which ye think to know
My secret plans, are false—yea, doubly so.'
'Doubt as you like, but hear what I would tell,
Then say if I have learnt my story well.
Yon babe you stole to rob him of his lands,
And as afraid with blood to stain your hands,
You meant to bear him to some distant shore,
Where parents' smiles would bless the child no more.
But not for thee I crushed the viper's brood,
Far other thoughts and impulse I pursued. ”