Dr. Jones

“ Jones found her voice. The enormous impudence of the surgeon's request had caused its temporary extinction.
"I'd see Pike in his coffin before I'd go a-nigh him as a nurse! What on earth will you be asking next, Mr. Hillary?"
"I didn't ask you, Mrs. Jones: you have your children to attend to; full employment for one pair of arms. Mrs. Gum has nothing to do with her time; and is near at hand besides. Gum, you stand in your place by Dr. Ashton every Sunday, and read out to us of the loving mercy of God: will you urge your wife to this little work of charity for His sake?" ”

“ Why should she not?" said Marsh.
Mrs. Jones beamed upon him so warmly that he blushed to his ears.
"One vote for me," she gayly exclaimed. "Now, Mr. Denison, on the score of old friendship, I claim your franchise."
"And you have it, my dear madam," cried Denison. "Yours for the North Pole, Mrs. Jones."
She gave a hand to each of her coadjutors, and turning to Dr. Jones, said: "Don't you see what a splendid lobbyist I am, Doctor? You will need me when you get to Washington."
The Doctor's face was a study. At length he said: "Woman is the most unaccountable creature in the universe. ”

“ Jones and Mattie, as they sat by the front reception-room window, looking out upon the park. The Doctor and Count were promenading before the great building, the former with head erect, hands extended before him, lecturing upon his favorite theme. The towering figure of the Count strode along beside him, hands clasped behind and head bent well forward, listening attentively to every word.
"I do believe that my father will be so enthusiastic a convert to the Doctor's system, that he will get books and medicines and practice upon our poor people when you are gone," said Feodora. ”

“ Nothing could exceed the interest and curiosity of the two physicians. They looked at the vial and asked questions almost without number. The old familiar look of incredulity crept into their eyes when they came to an understanding of the immateriality of the dose. They were familiar with the dogma of "Similia similibus curanter," or "Like cures like," and repudiated it at once. But they said nothing of it to the Prince or Count at this time. The Count again addressed Dr. Jones. ”

“ This is very pleasant, but I much prefer the cabin of Silver Cloud, with you, my dear friends, to all this hustling, cramming, and jambing. The people are kind as they can be, and are doing everything for our comfort and pleasure, but I never could endure being crowded. Give me plenty of elbow room or give me death!" cried Dr. Jones.
"Who would have thought that our march about the pole would make such a sensation!" said Mrs. Jones. "Your North Pole March will make your fortune, Fred. You should immediately copyright and publish it. You could sell thousands of copies to-morrow." ”

“ If Dr. Jones will consent to remain, will you permit the rest of the party to depart with the ship?" asked the Professor.
"I shall be delighted if you can make any such arrangement," quickly returned the Count.
"What do you say, Doctor?" cried Professor Gray, turning to him.
The Doctor pondered a moment or two, and then said:
"It is very great to be the discoverer of the North Pole, but it is very much greater to save a human life. ”

“ That was her glory, as a fine head of hair is a woman's," replied Dr. Jones, who had overheard the lady's remark. "I shall never be satisfied until we have replaced it."
The ship, meantime, was hastening at a forty mile gait toward the Capital. The trip was one long thrill of excitement and pleasure to the visitors. The Doctor had settled all symptoms of nausea with his well-selected remedies, and nothing more could be desired to add to their pleasure and comfort.
At the hour of noon they sat down to lunch. They ate but little, the excitement having more or less destroyed their appetites. ”

“ My wife and Mattie will remain with me, but the rest of you may depart immediately if you wish."
"As for me," said Denison, promptly, "I shall stay with Dr. Jones."
Will and Fred looked at each other a moment, then Fred burst out:
"Let's stick together. The North Pole will be there just the same a few months later, and I do not blame Count Icanovich for detaining the Doctor under the circumstances. To use a beautiful Americanism, we may as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb. In one, in all." ”

“ Jones, Mattie, and Denison acted as secretaries for Dr. Jones, while Will and Fred performed the same office for Professor Gray. Reporters by scores besieged them at all hours. The Doctor disposed of these importunate visitors by appointing an hour when he met them in a body in a private room, and there answered their numerous questions. At three o'clock P.M. the mayor called, and through a private exit the whole party was led to carriages, and shown a considerable portion of the better part of the city. They drove to the globe and found it surrounded by thousands of admirers. ”

“ I held my head down for a little time, then raising it and likewise my forefinger I looked Doctor Jones full in the face and said, “Don’t you remember talking to me about Owen Pugh and Coll Gwynfa?”
“Yes, I do,” said Doctor Jones in a very low voice, like that of a person who deliberates; “yes, I do. I remember you perfectly, sir,” he added almost immediately in a tone of some animation; “you are the gentleman with whom I had a very interesting conversation one evening last summer in the bar of the inn at Cerrig Drudion. ”

“ Look at Jones with his wan, worn wife and his five children, Jones who is not yet thirty, of whom he happens to know that the wretched man cannot look his doctor in the face, and that the doctor is as necessary to the man's house as is the butcher! ”

“ Jones, sweetly. “The medical profession is so hungry for the chance to roast a colleague; especially one who is young, ambitious and not without a certain ability.”
The surgeon straightened his back.
“Have you—eh—any proposition—eh—anything to suggest?” he inquired, coldly.
“I have,” replied Mr. Jones. “Suppose that I had consulted you professionally. Would you have advised an operation? I ask you this as man to man.”
“If I had not,” replied the surgeon, with deep feeling, “I should have been unfit to practise my profession.” ”

“ Jones, how could you possibly express the idea better?"
"We are moving straight for Washington," said the Professor, consulting a map in his hand, "and at this speed we shall not be far from it at bedtime to-night."
"We can prepare ourselves for a grand reception," remarked Denison. "The good people of L——r gave us an earnest of what we may expect."
"It is rather pleasant to be lionized, but we shall be obliged to draw the lines somewhere," said Dr. Jones.
"We can always retreat to Silver Cloud when tired of being interviewed, wined, and dined," interposed Will. ”

“ And I have just the man—Will Marsh, office on Main Street. He is an extraordinary fellow, a real genius, and a gentleman in every sense of the word. Let's see him right away. I'm catching your spirit of enthusiasm, Doctor, and what does a man amount to without enthusiasm in this age of the world?"
"Well, of course, the enthusiast is numbered with the cranks," replied Dr. Jones. "But, Denison, the cranks are the only men who accomplish anything of note in this world. I have really great respect for cranks, if they only are honest and not too abusive. ”

“ The patient, however, would have nothing to say to him when he had explained that he came on behalf of the railway company. The poor fellow declared that nobody should attend him but his own regular medical man or surgeon. In vain Dr. Attrabilious pressed his services. The damaged passenger manifested an aversion to receive his attentions; and the nurse said she thought it was not right to force himself on the helpless gentleman when he was not wanted, as Dr. Jones was known to all Pimlico, if not all the world, as a very clever man. ”

“ I fear she does not try to make home comfortable and pleasant to him, when he is himself. Everything is filthy in the extreme. It is only as a matter of stern duty that I can sit down in the house.
"For a day or two Jones has been sick, but he drinks all the time, he is awake; and I fear he will be wild to-night. It makes me sick at heart to think of him. He has some noble traits; but rum, rum, has changed him from a kind husband and a tender father into a creature worse than a brute."
Tuesday, July 7th.
About midnight a messenger came for the Doctor to hasten to Jones. ”

“ Jones had naturally violent animal spirits: these being set on float and augmented by the spirit of wine, produced most extravagant effects. He kissed the doctor, and embraced him with the most passionate endearments; swearing that next to Mr Allworthy himself, he loved him of all men living. "Doctor," added he, "you deserve a statue to be erected to you at the public expense, for having preserved a man, who is not only the darling of all good men who know him, but a blessing to society, the glory of his country, and an honour to human nature. ”

“ The work was pushed forward with all possible expedition. The summer passed rapidly away. As winter drew near, a vast roof was built over the globe, and all was securely shut in from the inclemencies of that inhospitable season. All winter the hundreds of hammers, busily riveted the sheets of aluminum and zinc into place, and by spring the globe, the splendid creation that had existed in the brain of Dr. Jones, was an actuality. Language is inadequate to describe the sensations of the little company of promoters. ”

“ Jones with a contemptuous toss of his head.
"Did you ever read what they call their textbook, 'Science and Health?'"
"No, my time is too valuable to waste it on reading nonsense."
"How do you know it is nonsense?"
"I have heard enough of what it contains."
"Can you quote something, Mr. Jones?"
"Yes, here are some of the things printed in that book:
"There is no death. You haven't a body. Your stomach can't ache. There is no matter. Brains can't think. There is no sickness. There is no sin. There is no evil. All is good, Good is God, God is Mind, Mind is God, God is all." ”

“ Jones' doctor, who "knows much more than your doctor," thinks that a person of discretion may occasionally, in the dog-days, lay flannel on the shelf and no coffin be imminent. Your doctor says that young children's necks and shoulders should always be covered, even in warm weather. Mrs. Smith's doctor, who, she says, "stands at the head of his profession" says that is all nonsense, and that children should go through a toughening process, which will render changes of temperature harmless. Your doctor advises you never to cross the street, or go down-stairs, unless accompanied by quinine. ”

“ The surgeon in charge of the hospital for Federal prisoners, together with his assistants, will afford every facility to Surgeon Joseph Jones in the prosecution of the labors ordered by the Surgeon-General. The medical officers will assist in the performance of such post mortems as Dr. Jones may indicate, in order that this great field for pathological investigation may be explored for the benefit of the Medical Department of the Confederate States armies. ”

“ We can promise you the sensation and pleasure of your lifetime," returned the Doctor.
"O do come, sir!" cried Mrs. Jones. "Bring your family and give them the greatest treat this world affords."
"I will consult them, immediately. But I fear that they are poor sailors, and can hardly be persuaded to venture a trip in an air-ship."
"I will see that they do not suffer from seasickness," said the Doctor. "Prevail upon them to come if possible, for I know you will never regret it. Now shall we remain here, or meet you at the globe?" ”

“ Poyntz and I are going to visit his brother, at the other end of the county, and we start early. We shall be away some days. Sorry to hear from Mrs. Ashleigh that she has been persuaded by Mr. Vigors to consult Dr. Jones about Lilian. Vigors and Jones both frighten the poor mother, and insist upon consumptive tendencies. Unluckily, you seem to have said there was little the matter. Some doctors train their practice as some preachers fill their churches,—by adroit use of the appeals to terror. You do not want patients, Dr. Jones does. ”

“ At this moment the doctor, who had hitherto been engaged in dressing the hurts of the few wounded that thought proper to visit him in his temporary cockpit, hearing the bustle, caught up his rifle, and hastened to the other field of his usefulness.
"Here, doctor, doctor!" shouted old Jones as soon as he saw him, "here's a chance for you! here's the Spanish skipper looking as savage as a Yankee meat-axe—Gad! if you don't bear a hand, he'll cut his own throats, for want of some of ours." ”

“ Jones hunched himself together, and squirmed a sad little squirm.
"Mr. Westoby," he said, "I once made use of a very strong expression in regard to you. I said, if you remember, that I'd be obliged if you'd keep your paws—" [Pg 1042]
"Don't apologize," I interrupted. "I forgot it long ago."
"You've taken me up wrong," he continued drearily. "I should like you to consider the remark repeated now. Yes, sir, repeated."
"Oh, bosh!" I exclaimed.
"You have a very tough epidermis," he went on. "Quite the toughest epidermis I have met with in my whole professional career. ”

“ Doctor Jones, seemingly unconscious of the suspicions his presence had aroused, continued: “If my medical skill avails anything, the son of Señora Suzzan Carriles, of Colima, shall not leave this existence until the great work he is trying to accomplish is a success. Until ‘Memory Fluid,’ and the wonderful results obtained by the use of it, are heralded from one end of the universe to the other. It is a great and noble cause for which you are working,—to see that justice is meted to all. ‘The Plunger from Kansas’ is not the only one to whom justice will be meted out. ”