Snodgrass

“ Mr. Micklewham, however, interfered, and said, “It was a matter of weight and concernment, and therefore it behoves you to consult Mr. Snodgrass on the fitness of the thing. For if the thing itself is not fit and proper, it cannot expect his countenance; and, on that account, before we reckon on his compliance with what Mr. Daff has propounded, we should first learn whether he approves of it at all.” Whereupon the two elders and the session-clerk adjourned to the manse, in which Mr. Snodgrass, during the absence of the incumbent, had taken up his abode. ”

“ The hermit has gone over the mountain. Come, and I will take you to his hut, and you can see where he has murdered travelers.”
The boys hardly knew whether to obey or not, but a nod from Professor Snodgrass, to whom they [183] looked, indicated they were to do as the woman wanted. So they arose and prepared to follow her. The professor brought up the rear. ”

“ Micklewham, with as much brevity as was consistent with perspicuity; and the matter being duly digested by Mr. Snodgrass, that orthodox young man—as Mrs. Glibbans denominated him, on hearing him for the first time—declared that the notion of a pay-christening was a benevolent and kind thought: “For, is not the order to increase and multiply one of the first commands in the Scriptures of truth?” said Mr. Snodgrass, addressing himself to Mr. Craig. “Surely, then, when children are brought into the world, a great law of our nature has been fulfilled, and there is cause for rejoicing and gladness! ”

“ Zachariah Pringle.
“The Doctor,” said Mrs. Glibbans, as the schoolmaster concluded, “is there like himself—a true orthodox Christian, standing up for the word, and overflowing with charity even for the sinner. But, Mr. Snodgrass, I did not ken before that the bishops had a hand in the making of the Acts of the Parliament; I think, Mr. Snodgrass, if that be the case, there should be some doubt in Scotland about obeying them. However that may be, sure am I that the queen, though she was a perfect Deliah, has nothing to fear from them ”

“ Moths are lepidoptera having all sorts of feelers, except those that are knob-shaped on the end, while butterflies are lepidoptera which have only feelers which end in knobs. Though in some tropical countries there are moths with feelers just like those of a butterfly. But I forgot I was [120] not in the class room,” and Professor Snodgrass ended his little lecture.
“Go on, we like it!” exclaimed Ned, so while they were hunting for the rare specimen of the butterfly, Mr. Snodgrass told the boys more about the beautiful insects.
“I’ve a good notion to make a collection myself,” said Jerry. ”

“ Snodgrass, clasping his friend's hand.
"With a doctor—Doctor Slammer, of the Ninety-seventh," said Mr. Winkle, wishing to make the matter appear as solemn as possible; "an affair with an officer, seconded by another officer, at sunset this evening, in a lonely field beyond Fort Pitt."
"I will attend you," said Mr. Snodgrass.
He was astonished, but by no means dismayed. It is extraordinary how cool any party but the principal can be in such cases. Mr. Winkle had forgotten this. He had judged of his friend's feelings by his own.
"The consequences may be dreadful," said Mr. Winkle. ”

“ Sackett. “You’re tryin’ t’ make trouble fer me!”
“It is true,” declared Jerry quietly. “My two friends here heard the story, and so did Professor Snodgrass. I’ll call the professor,” which he did, from down the road where the scientist was looking for strange insects.
“It is perfectly true,” declared Mr. Snodgrass, “and I’m glad we are in time to prevent you from cheating some one else, Mr. Sackett. If you sell those diseased chickens it will be a swindle.”
“Wa’al, they ain’t all sick,” asserted the farmer lamely, “an’ I’m willin’ t’ make a reduction, ef you’ll take ’em, Jason. ”

“ Mrs. Tod inquired the matter; and three or four voices at once replied, that an express had come from Garnock for Nanse Swaddle the midwife, Mrs. Craig being taken with her pains. “Mr. Snodgrass,” said Mrs. Glibbans, instantly and emphatically, “ye maun let me go with you, and we can spiritualise on the road; for I hae promis’t Mrs. Craig to be wi’ her at the crying, to see the upshot—so I hope you will come awa.”
It would be impossible in us to suppose, that Mr. Snodgrass had any objections to spiritualise with Mrs. Glibbans on the road between Irvine and Garnock ”

“ Ned and Jerry rushed forward to pick up the unfortunate little scientist, and Bob also turned away from the bush to lend his aid. But Professor Snodgrass saw Bob’s action, and raising himself to his knees, he cried:
“Don’t move, Bob! Don’t stir! Don’t take your eyes off that butterfly. It’s just what I’ve been seeking for many years. Watch him! I’m not hurt. I can get up myself.” ”

“ Snodgrass, "Winkle, Tupman—he must not peril his distinguished life in such a cause as this."
"Let me go," said Mr. Pickwick.
"Hold him tight," shouted Mr. Snodgrass; and by the united efforts of the whole company, Mr. Pickwick was forced into an arm chair.
"Leave him alone," said the green-coated stranger—brandy and water—jolly old gentleman—lots of pluck—swallow this—ah!—capital stuff." Having previously tested the virtues of a bumper, which had been mixed by the dismal man, the stranger applied the glass to Mr. Pickwick's mouth ”

“ Pickwick. Mr. Tupman, Mr. Snodgrass, and Mr. Winkle, who had been anxiously waiting the arrival of their illustrious leader, crowded to welcome him.
"Here's your fare," said Mr. Pickwick, holding out the shilling to the driver.
What was the learned man's astonishment, when that unaccountable person flung the money on the pavement, and requested in figurative terms to be allowed the pleasure of fighting him (Mr. Pickwick) for the amount!
"You are mad," said Mr. Snodgrass.
"Or drunk," said Mr. Winkle.
"Or both," said Mr. Tupman.
"Come on!" said the cab-driver, sparring away like clockwork. ”

“ At that instant Professor Snodgrass happened to glance beneath the big driving wheels. In a moment he was all excitement. His face lighted up, off came his big hat, and, rapidly divesting himself of his many boxes he dropped on his knees close beside the rails.
“What’s the matter?” cried Jerry.
“He’ll be killed!” yelled Bob.
“Look out!” shouted Ned.
“The man has been taken with a fit! Pull him away from the engine!” begged the station master. ”

“ Craig, speak of sic baubles, when the word of God’s in danger of being controverted by an Act of Parliament. But, Mr. Snodgrass, dinna ye think that this painting of the queen’s face is a Jezebitical testification against her?” Mr. Snodgrass replied, with an unwonted sobriety of manner, and with an emphasis that showed he intended to make some impression on his auditors—“It is impossible to judge correctly of strangers by measuring them according to our own notions of propriety. It has certainly long been a practice in courts to disfigure the beauty of the human countenance with paint ”

“ In this strain, with an occasional glass of ale, by way of parenthesis, when the coach changed horses, did the stranger proceed, until they reached Rochester bridge, by which time the note-books, both of Mr. Pickwick and Mr. Snodgrass, were completely filled with selections from his adventures.
"Magnificent ruin!" said Mr. Augustus Snodgrass, with all the poetic fervour that distinguished him, when they came in sight of the fine old castle.
"What a study for an antiquarian!" were the very words which fell from Mr. Pickwick's mouth, as he applied his telescope to his eye. ”

“ Thus cried Professor Snodgrass about half an hour after he had entered the auto with the boys.
“What’s the matter?” demanded Ned, doing as requested, and bringing the machine to a sudden stop. “Have you lost your hat, Professor?”
“Easy now! Don’t talk or move! Keep perfectly quiet!” Speaking in a whisper, the scientist slid from his seat with his small butterfly net in his hand. Gliding forward like a hunter intent on making a shot at big game, the little man, his eyes fairly glaring through his spectacles, made his way cautiously to a small bush beside the roadway. ”

“ ‘It wasn’t the wine,’ murmured Mr. Snodgrass, in a broken voice. ‘It was the salmon.’ (Somehow or other, it never is the wine, in these cases.) ”

“ Snodgrass was about to offer an historical account of the circumstances just now detailed, when he was suddenly checked by observing that there were present, not only Mr. Tupman and their stage-coach companion of the preceding day, but another stranger of equally singular appearance. It was a careworn-looking man, whose sallow face, and deeply-sunken eyes, were rendered still more striking than nature had made them, by the straight black hair which hung in matted disorder half way down his face. ”

“ On the fourteenth day after the departure of the family from the manse, the Rev. Mr. Charles Snodgrass, who was appointed to officiate during the absence of the Doctor, received the following letter from his old chum, Mr. Andrew Pringle. It would appear that the young advocate is not so solid in the head as some of his elder brethren at the Bar; and therefore many of his flights and observations must be taken with an allowance on the score of his youth.
LETTER IV Andrew Pringle, Esq., Advocate, to the Rev. Charles Snodgrass
London. ”

“ Nothing useless is worth while, that's my motto—nothing that does not bring the reward. Oh, now I recall the text, 'Verily I say unto you they have their reward.' I shall ask Doctor Snodgrass to preach a sermon on that verse some day. ”

“ ‘I don’t know,’ replied Mr. Pickwick, in the same tone. ‘Hush. Don’t ask any questions. It’s always best on these occasions to do what the mob do.’
‘But suppose there are two mobs?’ suggested Mr. Snodgrass.
‘Shout with the largest,’ replied Mr. Pickwick.
Volumes could not have said more. ”

“ Snodgrass. The offer relieved him from considerable embarrassment, for his previous notions of loading a pistol were rather vague and undefined.
"We may place our men, then, I think," observed the officer, with as much indifference as if the principals were chess-men, and the seconds players.
"I think we may," replied Mr. Snodgrass; who would have assented to any proposition, because he knew nothing about the matter. The officer crossed to Doctor Slammer, and Mr. Snodgrass went up to Mr. Winkle. ”

“ The gas machine was set going, and with only enough of the powerful vapor in the big bag to lift the craft above the highest of the big rocks that were strewn over the valley, they set off. Professor Snodgrass alighted about two miles from their first camping place, and at once began an eager search for new specimens. Then the others went slowly on.
“A rock that looks like a church; eh?” mused Ned, who had replaced Jerry at the steering wheels. “Well, there are all sorts and shapes of rocks here, you can take your choice.” ”

“ What was it that Doctor Snodgrass had said? Ah, yes—that it was a mistake to pause here in reading the verse. We must read on without a pause—Lay not up treasures upon earth where moth and rust do corrupt and where thieves break through and steal—that was the true doctrine. Our treasures upon earth must not be put into unsafe places. but into safe. places. A most comforting doctrine! He had always followed it. Moths and rust and thieves had done no harm to his investments.
John Weightman's drooping eyes turn ed to the next verso, at the top of the second column. ”

“ The Mexican glanced at the auto which, with throbbing breath, as the engine still continued to vibrate, seemed to fill him with terror. Suddenly he dropped to his knees and began to pray.
“Be not afraid,” Professor Snodgrass called to him, speaking in the Spanish language. “We are but poor travelers like yourself. We will not harm you.”
“Whence do you come in your chariot of fire?” asked the old man. “Ye are demons and no true men!”
“We will not hurt you,” said the naturalist, again. “See, we bring you gifts,” and he held out to the Mexican a package of tobacco and a small hand-mirror. ”

“ Here Miss Mally Glencairn interposed, and informed Mrs. Craig, that a noghty woman was not, as she seemed to think, a witch wife. “I am sure,” said Miss Becky Glibbans, “that Mrs. Craig might have known that.” “Oh, ye’re a spiteful deevil,” whispered Miss Mally, with a smile to her; and turning in the same moment to Miss Isabella Tod, begged her to read Miss Pringle’s letter—a motion which Mr. Snodgrass seconded chiefly to abridge the conversation, during which, though he wore a serene countenance, he often suffered much. ”

“ By some feeling of impending change the rnature nymph, waiting in its chamber, knows when the time of transformation is at hand. Somehow nature regulates the event so that it will happen in the evening, but, once the hour has come, no time is to be lost. The nymph must break out of its cell, tind a suitable molting site and one in accord with the traditions of its race, and there fix itself by a tirm grip of the tarsal claws. ”

“ Up above, and on various parts of the deck, were the lookouts, scanning with strained and eager eyes the expanse of water ahead of them for a sight of the white wake that would indicate a 63 periscope, or, perchance, hoping to see the wet, glistening sides of a “steel fish” itself, as it broke water before sending the deadly torpedo.
“Well, boys, how goes it?” asked a voice behind the three chums, and they recognized Professor Snodgrass. ”

“ Winkle and speaking in a low confidential tone. "Rum fellow—does the heavy business—no actor—strange man—all sorts of miseries—dismal Jemmy, we call him on the circuit." Mr. Winkle and Mr. Snodgrass politely welcomed the gentleman, elegantly designated as "Dismal Jemmy;" and calling for brandy and water, in imitation of the remainder of the company, seated themselves at the table.
"Now, Sir," said Mr. Pickwick, "will you oblige us with proceeding with what you were going to relate?" ”