Thomas Dekker

“ Tracts by Dekker and Nash.—The Raven's Almanacke, 1609, is the production of Thomas Dekker, the dramatist, and one of the rarest of his numerous works. A copy sold in the Gordonstown sale for seven guineas; and another occurred in Mr. J.H. Bright's collection (No. 1691.) ; but I have not the sale catalogue at hand to quote the price. Dekker was also the author of a similar work, entitled The Owle's Almanacke, 1618 ”

“ UK. THE NOBLE SPANISH SOLDIER by THOMAS DEKKER
INTRODUCTION THOMAS DEKKER Thomas Dekker is believed to have been born in London around 1572, but nothing is known for certain about his youth. He embarked on a career as a theatre writer early in his adult life, the first extant text of his work being 'Old Fortunatus' written around 1596, although there are plays connected with his name which were performed as early as 1594. The period from 1596 to 1602 was the most prolific of his career, with 20 plays being attributed to him and an involvement in up to 28 other plays being suggested. ”

“ No loss of goods can increase in him a wrinkle, no crabbed language make his countenance sour, the stubbornness of no servant shake him; he has no more gall in him than a dove, no more sting than an ant; musician will he never be, yet I find much music in him, but he loves no frets, and is so free from anger, that many times I am ready to bite off my tongue, because it wants that virtue which all women’s tongues have, to anger their husbands: brother, mine can by no thunder, turn him into a sharpness. ”

“ Dekker had, let us admit, great defects. He was the type of the prodigal in literature,—the kindhearted, irresponsible poet whom we all know, and love, and pardon seventy times seven. But it is sad to think that with a little of the common talent which every successful man of affairs counts as part of his daily equipment, he might have left a different record. He never attained the serious conception of himself and his dignity as a worker which every poet, every artist must have, who would take effect proportionate to his genius. ”

“ DAENIA
Let us not trust to that. There's in his breast
Both fox and lion, and both these beasts can bite.
We must not now behold the narrowest loop-hole,
But presently suspect a winged bullet
Flies whizzing by our ears.
MEDINA
For when I let
The plummet fall to sound his very soul
In his close-chamber, being French-Doctor like,
He to the Cardinal's ear sung sorcerous notes,
The burden of his song, to mine, was death,
Onaelia's murder, and Sebastian's.
And think you his voice alters now? 'Tis strange,
To see how brave this tyrant shows in court,
Throned like a god. ”

“ Plague ’found [228] you for’t, ’tis well.
The cuckold’s stamp goes current in all nations,
Some men ha’ horns giv’n them at their creations,
If I be one of those, why so: ’tis better
To take a common wench, and make her good,
Than one that simpers, and at first will scarce
Be tempted forth over the threshold door,
Yet in one se’nnight, zounds, turns arrant whore!
Come wench, thou shalt be mine, give me thy golls, [229]
We’ll talk of legs hereafter.—See, my lord,
God give us joy!
All. God give you joy!
Enter Viola and George.
Geo. Come mistress, we are in Bedlam now ”

“ Bell. Nay, God’s my pity, what an ass is that citizen to lend money to a lord!
Enter Matheo and Hippolito; Hippolito saluting the company, as a stranger, walks off. [158] Roger comes in sadly behind them, with a pottle pot, and stands aloof off.
Mat. Save you, gallants. Signor Fluello, exceedingly well met, as I may say.
Flu. Signor Matheo, exceedingly well met too, as I may say.
Mat. And how fares my little pretty mistress?
Bell. Ee’n as my little pretty servant; sees three court dishes before her, and not one good bit in them:—How now? why the devil standest thou so? Art in a trance? ”

“ World, if thy Hugenes will beleiue this: doe, if not, I care not: for I dedicate my booke not to thy Greatnes, but to the Greatnes of thy scorne: Defying which, let that mad Dog Detraction bite till his teeth bee worne to the stumps: Enuy feede thy Snakes so fat with poyson till they burst: World, let all thy Adders shoote out their Hidra-headed-forked Stinges, Ha, Ha, Nauci; if none will take my part, (as I desire none) yet I thanke thee (thou true Venusian Horace) for these good wordes thou giu’st me: Populus me sibylat at mihi plaudo. ”

“ You’re best come like a madwoman, without a band, in your waistcoat, and the linings of your kirtle outward, like every common hackney that steals out at the back gate of her sweet knight’s lodging.
Bell. Go, go, hang yourself!
Cas. It’s dinner-time, Matheo; shall’s hence?
All. Yes, yes.—Farewell, wench.
Bell. Farewell, boys.— [Exeunt all except Bellafront and Roger.] —Roger, what wine sent they for?
Rog. Bastard wine, [167] for if it had been truly begotten, it would ha’ been ashamed to come in. Here’s six shillings to pay for nursing the bastard. ”

“ Bots. The twenty crowns, sir.
Lod. Before he has his work done? but on my knightly word he shall pay’t thee.
Enter Astolfo, Beraldo, Fontinell, and Bryan.
Ast. I thought thou hadst been gone into thine own country.
Bry. No, faat, la, I cannot go dis four or tree days.
Ber. Look thee, yonder’s the shop, and that’s the man himself.
Fon. Thou shalt but cheapen, and do as we told thee, to put a jest upon him, to abuse his patience.
Bry. I’faat, I doubt my pate shall be knocked: but, sa crees sa’ me, for your shakes, I will run to any linen-draper in hell: come predee. ”

“ Dekker, perhaps the most original and most striking figure among the lesser known men of that brilliant array which follows Marlowe, is at the same time one of the most unfortunate in his life and its artistic outcome, judged by the standard of his own genius. It was as if Fortune, to take a figure from his own play, having first presented him with the gift which, as a poet of the time, he most desired,—the playwright’s great opportunity, then turned upon him, and said,—
“But now go dwell with cares, and quickly die.” ”

“ Prince am I none, yet am I nobly born, as being the sole son of a shoemaker. Away, rubbish! vanish, melt; melt like kitchen-stuff.
Marg. Yea, yea, ’tis well; I must be called rubbish, kitchen-stuff, for a sort of knaves.
Firk. Nay, dame, you shall not weep and wail in woe for me. Master, I’ll stay no longer; here’s an inventory of my shop-tools. Adieu, master; Hodge, farewell.
Hodge. Nay, stay, Firk; thou shalt not go alone.
Marg. I pray, let them go; there be more maids than Mawkin, more men than Hodge, and more fools than Firk.
Firk. Fools? Nails! ”

“ I promised the mad Cappadocians, when we all served at the Conduit together, that if ever I came to be mayor of London, I would feast them all, and I’ll do’t, I’ll do’t, by the life of Pharaoh; by this beard, Sim Eyre will be no flincher. Besides, I have procured that upon every Shrove-Tuesday, at the sound of the pancake bell, my fine dapper Assyrian lads shall clap up their shop windows, and away. This is the day, and this day they shall do’t, they shall do’t. ”

“ Matheo?
Mat. Your blue coats stay for you, sir. I love a good honest roaring boy, and so—
[Pg 247]
Orl. That’s the devil.
Mat. Sir, sir, I’ll ha’ no Joves in my house to thunder avaunt: she shall live and be maintained when you, like a keg of musty sturgeon, shall stink; where? in your coffin—how? be a musty fellow, and lousy.
Orl. I know she shall be maintained, but how? she like a quean, thou like a knave; she like a whore, thou like a thief.
Mat. Thief? Zounds! Thief?
Bell. Good, dearest Mat!—Father!
Mat. Pox on you both! I’ll not be braved. ”

“ Taking off her gown.
Orl. Is’t bed-time, master, that you undo my mistress?
Bell. Undo me? Yes, yes, at these riflings I
Have been too often.
Mat. Help to flay, Pacheco.
Orl. Flaying call you it?
Mat. I’ll pawn you, by th’ lord, to your very eyebrows.
Bell. With all my heart, since Heaven will have me poor,
As good be drowned at sea, as drowned at shore.
Orl. Why, hear you, sir? i’faith do not make away her gown.
Mat. Oh! it’s summer, it’s summer; your only fashion for a woman now is to be light, to be light.
Orl. Why, pray sir, employ some of that money you have of mine.
Mat. Thine? ”

“ Re-enter Katherine.
Kath. Sir, they are come.
Car. Arraign me for what thou wilt, all Middlesex knows me better for an honest man than the middle of a market-place knows thee for an honest woman.—Rise, sirrah, and don your tacklings; rig yourself for the gallows, or I’ll carry thee thither on my back: your trull shall to the gaol go with you: there be as fine Newgate birds as she that can draw him in: pox on’s wounds!
Frank. I have served thee, and my wages now are paid ”

“ Such nails had my middlemost son, and I made him a promoter: [217] and he scraped, and scraped, and scraped, till he got the devil and all: but he scraped thus, and thus, and thus, and it went under his legs, till at length a [Pg 181] company of kites, taking him for carrion, swept up all, all, all, all, all, all, all. If you love your lives, look to yourselves: see, see, see, see, the Turks’ galleys are fighting with my ships! Bounce go the guns! Oooh! cry the men! Rumble, rumble, go the waters! Alas, there; ’tis sunk, ’tis sunk: I am undone, I am undone! ”

“ This ‘tough senior,’ this impracticable old gentleman, softens into a little child; this choke-pear melts in the mouth like marmalade. In spite of his resolute professions of misanthropy, he watches over his daughter with kindly solicitude; plays the careful housewife; broods over her lifeless hopes; nurses the decay of her husband’s fortune, as he had supported her tottering infancy; saves the high-flying Matheo from the gallows more than once, and is twice a father to them. ”

“ To die so, sheds no blood, yet ’tis worse pain. [Exit Hippolito.
Not speak to me! Not bid farewell? a scorn?
Hated! this must not be; some means I’ll try.
Would all whores were as honest now as I! [Exit.
[Pg 133]
ACT THE THIRD. SCENE I.—Candido’s Shop. Candido, Viola, George, and two Prentices discovered: Fustigo enters, walking by.
Geo. See, gentlemen, what you lack; a fine holland, a fine cambric: see what you buy.
1st Pren. Holland for shirts, cambric for bands; what is’t you lack?
Fus. ’Sfoot, I lack ’em all; nay, more, I lack money to buy ’em. ”

“ Const. I dare not: yet because
You are a citizen of worth, you shall not
Be made a pointing stock, but without guard,
Pass only with myself.
Cand. To Bridewell too?
Const. No remedy.
Cand. Yes, patience: being not mad,
They had me once to Bedlam, now I’m drawn
To Bridewell, loving no whores.
Const. You will buy lawn! [Exeunt.
[Pg 268]
ACT THE FIFTH. SCENE I.—A Street. Enter at one side Hippolito; at the other, Lodovico, Astolfo, Carolo, Beraldo and Fontinell.
Lod. Yonder’s the Lord Hippolito; by any means leave him and me together; now will I turn him to a madman. ”

“ Just at their harlot’s foot, as ’twere in pride.
Flu. Matheo, we shall meet.
Mat. Ay, ay; any where, saving at church:
Pray take heed we meet not there.
Flu. Adieu, damnation!
Cas. Cockatrice, farewell!
Pio. There’s more deceit in women, than in hell. [Exeunt Castruchio, Fluello and Pioratto.
[Pg 148]
Mat. Ha, ha, thou dost gull ’em so rarely, so naturally! If I did not think thou hadst been in earnest: thou art a sweet rogue for’t i’faith.
Bell. Why are not you gone too, Signor Matheo?
I pray depart my house: you may believe me,
In troth, I have no part of harlot in me. ”

“ An old ass, a dog, a churl, a chuff, an usurer, a villain, a moth, a mangy mule, with an old velvet foot-cloth on his back, sir.
Bell. Oh me!
Orl. Varlet, for this I’ll hang thee.
Mat. Ha, ha, alas!
Orl. Thou keepest a man of mine here, under my nose—
Mat. Under thy beard.
Orl. As arrant a smell-smock, for an old muttonmonger [281] as thyself.
Mat. No, as yourself.
Orl. As arrant a purse-taker as ever cried, Stand! yet a good fellow I confess, and valiant; but he’ll bring thee to th’ gallows; you both have robbed of late two poor country pedlars. ”

“ O, good Matheo, no, let’s make no noise.
Mat. How! no noise! do you know where you are? ’sfoot, amongst all the mad-caps in Milan: so that to throw the house out at window will be the better, and no man will suspect that we lurk here to steal mutton [210] : the more sober we are, the more scurvy ’tis. And though the friar tell us, that here we are safest, I am not of his mind, for if those lay here that had lost their money, none would ever look after them, but here are none but those that have lost their wits, so that if hue and cry be made, hither they’ll come ”

“ O, with all our hearts, sir.
Cud. There’s my rival taken up for hangman’s meat; Tom told me he was about a piece of villany.—Mates and morris-men, you see here’s no longer piping, no longer dancing; this news of murder has slain the morris. You that go the footway, fare ye well; I am for a gallop.—Come, ningle. [Canters off with the Hobby-horse and the Dog.
Saw. [Strikes his fiddle, which sounds as before.] Ay? nay, an my fiddle be come to himself again, I care not. I think the devil has been abroad amongst us to-day; I’ll keep thee out of thy fit now, if I can. ”

“ Death hath ta’en up the cudgels once, here’s never a fencer in Cyprus dare take my old master’s part.
Andel. Run, villain, call more help.
Shad. Bid him thank the Destinies for this. [Exit.
Fort. Let me shrink down, and die between your arms,
Help comes in vain. No hand can conquer fate,
This instant is the last of my life’s date.
This goddess, if at least she be a goddess,
Names herself Fortune: wand’ring in a wood,
Half famished, her I met. I have, quoth she,
Six gifts to spend upon mortality,
[Pg 331] Wisdom, strength, health, beauty, long life and riches. ”