Xanthias

“ Bacchus gets the needful information at last, and sets out on his journey—not without some remonstrance from his slave as to the weight of the luggage he has to carry. Surely, Xanthias says, there must be some dead people going that way on their own account, in a conveyance, who would carry it for a trifle? His master gives him leave to make such an arrangement if he can—and as a bier is borne across the stage, Xanthias stops it, and tries to make a bargain with the occupant. The dead man asks eighteenpence; Xanthias offers him a shilling ”

“ Xanthias
I am much obliged.
Attendant
Are you mad? I will not let you go. There is likewise and enchanted flute-girl specially for you, and two or three dancing wenches.
Xanthias
What do you say? Dancing wenches?
Attendant
In the prime of their life and all freshly depilated. Come, enter, for the cook was going to take the fish off the fire and the table was being spread.
Xanthias
Very well then! Run in quickly and tell the dancing-girls I am coming. Slave! pick up the baggage and follow me. ”

“ After abusing poor Bacchus, and shaking their fists in his face, they go off to fetch some of the infernal lawyers; and Bacchus once more begs Xanthias to stand his friend, and play Hercules again,—he shall really be Hercules for the future,—the part suits him infinitely better. The slave consents, and again they change dresses, when Æacus comes in with the Plutonian police. He points out to them the representative of Hercules—"Handcuff me this fellow that stole the dog!" But Xanthias is not easily handcuffed; he stands on his defence ”

“ Xanthias (to himself) .
⁠And no one thinks of me,
When all my shoulder's skinning, simply skinning.
Heracles.
But aren't there other pretty fellows there
All writing tragedies by tens of thousands,
And miles verboser than Euripides?
Dionysus.
Leaves without fruit; trills in the empty air,
And starling chatter, mutilating art!
Give them one chance and that's the end of them,
One weak assault on an unprotected Muse.
Search as you will, you'll find no poet now
With grit in him, to wake a word of power.
Heracles. ”

“ DIONYSUS. What gods? Are you so stupid, such a fool? How can you, a slave and a mortal, be the son of Alcmena?
XANTHIAS. Come then! 'tis well! take them. But perhaps you will be needing me one day, an it please the gods.
CHORUS. 'Tis the act of a wise and sensible man, who has done much sailing, always to trim his sail towards the quarter whence the fair wind wafts, rather than stand stiff and motionless like a god Terminus. [442] To change your part to serve your own interest is to act like a clever man, a true Theramenes. ”

“ There is an interval of choral song, with a political bearing, during which we are to suppose that Bacchus is being entertained at the infernal court, while Xanthias improves his acquaintance with Æacus in the servants' hall, or whatever might be the equivalent in Pluto's establishment. The conversation between the two is highly confidential. "Your master seems quite the gentleman," says Æacus. "Oh! quite," says Xanthias"—he does nothing but game and drink." They find that life "below stairs" is very much the same in Tartarus as it is in the upper regions ”

“ So Euripides, elated with pride, took possession of the throne on which Æschylus was installed.
Xanthias
And did he not get stoned?
Æacus
No, but the folk demanded loudly that a regular trial should decide to which of the two the highest place belonged.
Xanthias
What folk? this mob of rascals? (Points to the spectators.)
Æacus
Their clamour reached right up to heaven.
Xanthias
And had Æschylus not his friends too?
Æacus
Good people are very scarce here, just the same as on earth.
Xanthias
What does Pluto reckon to do? ”

“ Xanthias
What! has not Sophocles also claimed the chair then?
Æacus
No, no! he embraced Æschylus and shook his hand, when he came down; he could have taken the seat, for Æschylus vacated it for him; but according to Clidemides, [78] he prefers to act as his second; if Æschylus triumphs, he will stay modestly where he is, but if not, he has declared that he will contest the prize with Euripides.
Xanthias
When is the contest to begin?
Æacus
Directly! the battle royal is to take place on this very spot. Poetry is to be weighed in the scales.
Xanthias
What? How can tragedy be weighed? ”

“ I give you notice—I’m a deity;
So mind now—you’ll have nobody to blame
But your own self.
Æac. What’s that you’re saying there?
Bac. Why, that I’m Bacchus, Jupiter’s own son;
That fellow there’s a slave (pointing to Xanthias) .
Æac. (to Xanthias) . Do you hear?
Xan. I hear him:
A reason the more to give him a good beating;
If he’s immortal, he need never mind it.”— (F.)
Æacus proceeds to test their divinity, by administering a lash to each of them in turn ”

“ Xanthias mentions the Phallus.—Now about the Phallus itself the following story is told. Pegasus removed the statues of Dionysus at Eleutherae from there, and came to Athens with them. However the Athenians did not receive the god with due honour. But for this ill counsel they by no means got off scot-free; for the god was wroth, and a disease fell upon the private parts of the men. The plague was incurable; and after they had tried in vain every device of magic art and physician’s skill against the disease that only grew the more, envoys were despatched with all speed to the oracle. ”

“ So Bacchus steps into the boat, begging Charon to be very careful, for it seems very small and crank, as Hercules had warned him. But Charon carries no slaves—Xanthias must run round and meet them on the other side. The god takes his place at the oar, at the ferryman’s bidding (but in very awkward “form,” as a modern oarsman would term it) , to work his passage across: and an invisible Chorus of Frogs, who give their name to the piece—the “Swans of the Marsh,” as Charon calls them—chant their discordant music, in which, nevertheless, occur some very graceful lines, to the time of the stroke. ”

“ The Melitean Herakles would normally be described as Herakles ‘in’ or ‘at Melite’; it was treating Herakles as a mere mortal to say Herakles from Melite. But does not the ‘from’ possibly mark an added joke? Are not the baggage and the donkey and the ‘from’ all put in to parody the real ‘flitting’ of Herakles from Melite to Diomeia? That flitting was already accomplished in the time of Aristophanes, for, later on in the play [304] , when Aeacus is beating Xanthias-Herakles, and Xanthias [147] utters an involuntary ‘whe-ew,’ Aeacus asks if he is hurt, and Xanthias recovering himself says,
‘No ”

“ O most abominable! See where he's crept to! so that he seems to me most like the foal of a summons-witness. [48] [Xanthias and Sosias drag him from under the ass.]
Phil. If you won't let me alone, we will do battle.
Bdel. About what, pray, will you fight with us?
Phil. About the shade of an ass.
Bdel. You are a knave far advanced in artifice, [49] and reckless.
Phil. I a knave? No, by Jove. You are not now aware that I am most excellent. But you will know it, perhaps, when you eat the paunch of an old Heliast. [50]
Bdel. Push the ass and yourself into the house. ”

“ Look about like eager marksmen, ready with your slings and stones.
How I long to fall upon him, the villain, and to smash his bones!
Enter Dicæopolis, his Wife and Daughter, a Slave, etc.
Dic. Peace, Peace.
Silence, Silence.
Chorus. Stand aside! Keep out of sight! List to the sacrificial cries!
There he comes, the very fellow, going out to sacrifice.
Wait and watch him for a minute, we shall have him by surprise.
Dic. Silence! move forward, the Canephora;
You, Xanthias, follow close behind her there,
In a proper manner, with your pole and emblem. ⁠290
Wife. ”

“ He entered the place—more like a dog’s kennel than a human dwelling—where Xanthus lay. “Xanthus!” he cried, “the Lord Jesus Christ hath sent me to you to bring you glad tidings.”“How! to me—to me—your God has sent you to me! No, there is a mistake. I am the street-fiddler, Xanthus, the most miserable, God-forsaken of men—a man who has done nothing but ill all his life.” Then the good bishop recalled to the memory of Xanthus (this having been revealed to him) the day when he turned back a tempted fellow-creature from sin, and the weeks in which he sustained her, at the cost of his own life ”

“ But even more marvellous was the time when Xanthus broke into speech and warned his master of his approaching doom. It is quite in the manner of an animal in a savage myth, but in the days of Homer’s “Iliad” thought had advanced so far among the Greeks that the speech of this horse was not regarded as a perfectly natural event as it would be in a savage myth. It was Juno, the goddess, who willed that Xanthus should break eternal silence and portentous speak. Achilles addresses his horses, and Xanthus answers:
“Xanthus and Balius! ”

“ Besides this, Stesimbrotus tells us that it was Xanthippus who spread abroad among the people the infamous story concerning his own wife; and in general that this difference of the young man's with his father, and the breach betwixt them, continued never to be healed or made up till his death. For Xanthippus died in the plague time of the sickness. At which time Pericles also lost his sister, and the greatest part of his relations and friends, and those who had been most useful and serviceable to him in managing the affairs of state. ”

“ Gregorio refused to hear reason, and explained how he begrudged them their wealth and fame. “For these English are a dull people, and we Greeks are greatly superior.”
“I do not agree with you,” Xantippe replied. “I have learned what a man is since I have known him, and I have learned to hate you. You may have more brains—that I know nothing of, nor do I care. He could not behave as you have behaved, nor have sacrificed me as you have sacrificed me. Some of his money comes to you. You want money. ”

“ To one who said, "Don't you find so-and-so very offensive?" his reply was, "No, for it takes two to make a quarrel." We ought not to object, he used to say, to be subjects for the Comic poets, for if they satirize our faults they will do us good, and if not they do not touch us. When Xanthippe first scolded him and then drenched him with water, his rejoinder was, "Did I not say that Xanthippe's thunder would end in rain?" When Alcibiades declared that the scolding of Xanthippe was intolerable, "Nay, I have got used to it," said he, "as to the continued rattle of a windlass. ”

“ Xanti, a nick-name of Xantippe, that scold of glorious memory, who never let poor Socrates have one moment's peace of mind; yet with unexampled patience he bore her pestilential tongue. I shall beg the ladies' pardon if I insert a few passages concerning her: and at the same time I assure them it is not to lesson those of the present age, who are possessed of the like laudable talents; for I will confess, that I know three in the city of Dublin, no way inferior to Xantippe, but that they have not as great men to work upon. ”

“ And Xanthippe went on to the house of Philotheus the ex-prefect, as to a great and incredible work, running and praising God. As she therefore passed through a certain place, the demons pursued her with fiery torches and lightnings, and she, turning, saw behind her this terrible sight, and being possessed with great fear said, What has happened to thee now, wretched soul? Thou hast been deprived of thy desire. Thou wast running to salvation, thou wast running to baptism, and thou hast fallen into the serpent and his ministers, and these things thy sins have prepared for thee. ”

“ Xantra doesn't realize how intelligent we are, and how dangerous; and we mustn't let him know! I think he believes we are much like his present slaves: he gets away with murder with them. You've noticed the lumps on the back of your necks? Well, they have them, too; it's something that's attached to the spinal cord and gives him telepathic control over them; also the power to hurt them dreadfully—as you've unfortunately found out. His slaves don't understand these lumps; they don't seem to know that he would [79] lose control if they could only in some way get rid of the things in their necks! ”

“ Meanwhile, too, Xanthippe's old beau, Gatippus, had married; and from Thessaly came reports of the beautiful vineyard and the many wine-presses he had acquired. So Xanthippe's life became somewhat more than a struggle; it became a martyrdom. And the wrinkles came into Xanthippe's face, and Xanthippe's hair grew gray, and Xanthippe's heart was filled with the bitterness of disappointment. And the years, full of grind and of poverty and of neglect, crept wearily on.
Time is the grim old collector who goes dunning for the abused wife, and Time finally forced a settlement with Socrates. ”

“ Its steep mountain chains, its sequestered valleys, its towns and fortresses perched on inaccessible rocks, all rendered it easy for the inhabitants to carry on a successful petty warfare against the enemy. The inhabitants of Xanthos, although very inferior in numbers, issued down into the plain and disputed the victory with the invaders for a considerable time; at length their defeat and the capitulation of their town induced the remainder of the Lycians to lay down arms, and brought about the final pacification of the peninsula. ”