Elizabeth Hale Gilman

“ You probably have a room, or half a one, and a closet, and bureau drawers, and certainly clothes, which are your own. Possession means responsibility. If we find this sharp-cornered foundation-stone of truth in the depths of our own bureau drawers, it is less likely to fall heavily on us later on. Our own things and the places in which they are kept should be our own care, and not another's.
It may not be your business to do the periodical sweeping in your room, but the daily dusting and tidying the household authorities will be glad to have you do. ”

“ If, however, in the exuberance of appetite or hospitality you have strawberries and cream on the first Monday in February, and are awfully surprised to find you can only afford bread and tea on Saturday—then you need to realize that you have deprived yourself of the freedom of choice, whether right or wrong, and that you had better keep a few accounts. The moment a family have one penny more than they need to buy the food which will keep them alive, there comes to be an element of choice in the spending of that penny. ”

“ There remains but to say that ideal dining room and pantry work combine military order with a daintiness which puts pansies into finger bowls. That simple loveliness and devoted thoughtfulness are more necessary in table service than heavy damask and beautiful china. And that, above all, one must not think that care and work expended upon meals are put to a poor use. Family meals are deeply hallowed by long custom and by sacred associations. We shall not be wrong to try earnestly and gladly to make the meal hours times of loveliness and thankfulness and laughter. ”

“ Things which we are proud to do in other fields, we neither see nor do in our own. For the sake of a college degree, or a paper to be read before a club, we delve in difficult books; yet we do not study, nor even read about our own work. We would be proud to invent a flying machine, or a mud-digger, yet most of the inventions to aid housework [66] are made by men. We aspire to be stockbrokers, merchants, accountants, bankers—while housekeeping finance has become a stock joke. ”

“ Happy the home which contains such a person, thrice happy one in which that person is its mistress.
A woman who is inclined to take household failures and accidents too seriously may comfort herself with the thought that what she fails to do to-day, she will probably succeed in to-morrow; and also with the reflection that an occasional uncomfortable accident is good for her family. A few spoonfuls of scorched soup eaten for courtesy's sake is valuable food. Likewise, household accidents can be used to plant in the family mind that calamities are to be shared by all. ”

“ Light the fire from a light or from another fire or with a match. This is the shortest and simplest act in fire making, but the most extraordinary. It would take some one wiser than three philosophers, four scientists and twelve owls to tell you what the flame is which springs up on the hearth. A springing flame has remained through all time such a mystery and wonder, that the poet, the musician and the devotee have woven it into rhythm, and music, and worship—and what is more, a boy and a fox terrier will keep still before it for half an hour. ”

“ Why does a weary guest, who often has hardly the time to eat bread, care little for a feast? Is there something more required of a woman than keeping her household warmed and fed, and something less required than notable success in her own work? ”

“ Kitchens are no longer used to store winter supplies which must be kept from the cold, nor are they now used for laundry and dairy work, spinning and sociability. A house in which there are many workers, in which there is bountiful providing and constant hospitality, still needs a large kitchen; on the contrary, an apartment in which the dining room will barely permit six at table may well have a kitchen in which everything is within hand's reach. ”

“ Long before we ever thought of cooking, the sun was changing starch into sugar by heating apples and pears and peaches through and through every day. One might even venture to say that he had warmed milk for all the mammal babies ever since the first one was born. Every once in a while, people appear who try to persuade us to "go back to nature" and eat our food uncooked, not realizing that they are asking us, not to go back to nature, but to our own first ignorance of what nature is doing. ”

“ The sense of oppression one feels in a room crowded with furniture is not imagination, there is literally much less air to breathe. It is also not merely an idea that a house full of ornaments and pictures is not restful to live in. ”

“ If one can give one's household real variety of food, not merely that which is made by different methods of serving and cooking, but that which is actually a difference in constituents, mistakes in selection will then never get very long or thoroughly established. If one cannot be right all the time, by means of variety one can be fairly sure of being right some of the time. Variety is also made necessary by changes in season, in occupation, in state of health, and I think I may add without making a loop-hole for pampering people unduly, that it is made necessary at times by change of mood. ”

“ Those who have not done housework with their own brains and bodies cannot realize how many thousands of times every object in a house has to be touched and moved merely for the sake of cleanliness and order. It seems a small matter whether there are six pictures in a room or eight, whether flower vases are kept in the china closet or on the tops of book shelves and tables, whether there are five little fal-lals on a mantelshelf or twenty-five ”

“ There is joy in beauty, and in possession—and more than that. There is exultation in the vision of seed-time and harvest, of growing beauty and usefulness, of life renewed; and in the strength and power to work for all this and to achieve it. ”

“ Some of us try to get out of paying at all; some of us are angry because we would rather pay in something we have not. We would rather pay for food and clothes with money only, instead of with a little money and much thought and labour. We would like to buy our friend a birthday gift, instead of writing that birthday letter which costs us thoughtfulness and an ache in our pride. Because we cannot afford a holiday, we will not pay for comfort and pleasantness at home with the coin of gaiety, or a favourite dessert, or a new book from the Library. ”

“ One of the best reasons for going to a market or to provision shops every day or two is that there is so much to be learned there. An incidental reason is that going to market takes the housewife out of doors more often than she might otherwise go. Another reason for going is that it helps in making varied menus; one sees things which would never have been thought of at home. The housewife who goes to market can also take advantage of special prices.
Wise marketing, like wise shopping, requires of us two moral qualities, judgment and self-restraint. ”

“ We should be as particular that our maids do not work sixteen hours as if we had a Trades' Union compelling us to be. A business-like point-of-view would also preserve us from despising a necessary and useful occupation. I have mentioned the careless way we speak of it sometimes, but what I think really matters more, is that some women would rather put up with lying, stealing, and immorality in a maid than take the risk of having to do her work. On the maid's "day out," likewise, some of us do as little of her work and do it as slightingly as we can, and she knows it. ”

“ If your household does not include a waitress, there is a class of small services which need to be done before each meal. One is not quite so sure to be at home at meal times, as if one were a boy, but one can arrange to be. Certain things are needed on the table which come from the refrigerator or the cellar, cool things which should be put on at the last moment. The cook has already fifty things to do at the last moment, and few things relieve her more than to know that she need not think of the table until she puts the meal upon it. ”

“ If entertaining is made a great trouble and expense, many people cannot do it. And this is a real misfortune because the reception of guests is a necessary part of family life. It is a pleasure, it brings new knowledge and new experience, it is an opportunity for kindliness, it diverts people's minds from themselves and besides, it is a sacred duty.
A good many times I have seen trouble in a family or in a school completely done away by the coming of an interesting guest. Probably every one knows instances when a guest has brought a great happiness or a great blessing. ”

“ When people try to tell [44] what home is, they usually make poor work of it. It is not in the least necessary to tell what it is; a home is a thing to have, not to talk about. All I want to say here is that homes are not houses and furniture, but people. There is an Indian proverb which says, "The hearth is not a stone but a woman." Fathers and brothers have their own share in making their homes, but mothers and daughters are more apt to take care of their homes and stay in them. So it has come to be that making homes is a special and particular work of women. ”

“ To read such a description for the first time would very probably shock a careful housewife. She has learned to protect her stores of food from any processes of fermentation; she regards the growth of fungus in the cellar or of mould on the back of the refrigerator as an indication of unhealthful dampness, perhaps of dirt; she probably has some terror of germs and bacteria. Is it not rather shocking then, to learn that, without fermentation, fungus and bacteria, she could not make the sweet, clean bread which she bakes every two or three days. ”

“ It can be said of kitchen dish washing even more emphatically than of pantry dish washing, that going into it up to one's neck is no virtue; better keep out of it as much as possible. To make the work easy, to divest it of disgust, and even to find satisfaction in doing it, are evidences of skill and cleverness. ”

“ I make my protest against carpets for the reason that it is impossible to clean them in an unobtrusive way, and because they are the inspiring evil genius of cleaning done with emphasis—done, not for the sake of health and happiness, but for the sake of appearing to be a particular housekeeper. ”

“ The schedule is not the important thing, but the work; and there are things more important even than the work. For instance, a reasonable degree of liberty for the whole household.
The family, unless they take part in the work, should not be conscious of the work schedule. It is a framework to be carefully draped; a new kind of family skeleton to be kept in the closet as carefully as the old kind. It is necessary because it makes easy, natural regularity possible, and without it, as we have said, there is neither character, nor peace, nor mutual service in a home. ”