William Taplin

“ To direct the eye, to form the judgment, and to check the natural impetuosity of the young and inexperienced purchaser, some few remarks are indispensibly necessary to shield him from the rock of fascination, upon which so many have repentantly foundered. The mind of man should never be more itself, never more adequate to the task of cool deliberation and patient observation, than in the simple examination of a horse for sale. ”

“ While I lament this degradation, this prostitution of patronage, to such trifling, such contemptible efforts of sterility, I cannot but consider how gratefully, how extensively, you are bound to a credulous and indulgent public, who implicitly sanction with their patronage, every production of genius or dullness, whether in a philosophic taper, a concentrated acid of vinegar, or a salt of lemons; they are undoubtedly discoveries of immense magnitude to the public at large; and experience has sufficiently proved, that so much patriotic virtue should meet its own reward. ”

“ HORSE
—is the name of the most beautiful, the most useful, and the most valuable, animal, this or any other nation has to boast: the majestic extent of his formation, the graceful ease of every motion, the immensity of his strength, the smooth {422} and glossy surface of his skin, the pliability of his temper, and, above every other consideration, his rapidity of action, and general utility, render him highly worthy the care, attention, and pecuniary estimation he is now held in from one extremity of the earth to the other. He is the most spirited and most powerful of all creatures ”

“ TRAINING
.—The process of training horses for the TURF was formerly plain, simple, open, and free from mystery or ambiguity. Circumstances, however, are so altered, and fashions have so changed, that a training-stable exceeds in secrecy the inmost recesses of his Majesty's Councils, upon which the prosperity and peace of so great a nation entirely depend. A training-stable is, in the opinion of those who conduct them, the very summit of earthly dignity and imaginary consequence. ”

“ Hence it is that hare-hunting is principally followed, and most enjoyed, by sportsmen in the decline of life; but with the younger branches it is held in very slender estimation, as they in general appreciate the excellence of sport more by the difficulty in pursuing it, than by its duration. Hare-hunting, in a woody or inclosed country, is such a perpetual routine of repetition within a small sphere, affording no more than a continual succession of the same thing, that with a zealous rider, and a high-mettled horse, it soon palls upon the appetite of both. ”

“ SHOOTING
—is become a sport of so much pleasure and universality, that the legislature has found it expedient to extract an annual contribution of THREE GUINEAS from every individual who enjoys it. In fact, it is so perfectly congenial to the dispositions of the people, and so truly conducive to the greatest blessing in life, HEALTH, that it should seem its votaries have annually increased in proportion to the conditional restraints of parliamentary prohibition. ”

“ In your various changes of residence, tedious peregrinations, and medical observations, it is natural to conclude, you have acquired by care, study, and attention, a competent knowledge of almost every tint in the picture of life; which, with embellishments, derived from a few courses under some of the metropolitan lecturers, and hospital attendance, to qualify you for the complication of country practice, there is no doubt but you come from the forge properly formed, to make wrong appear right, and right wrong, in the face of every old woman in the county where you are going to reside. ”

“ Nothing is a greater disgrace to the MASTER, the HUNTSMAN, or the pack, than to see a parcel of straggling tail hounds, labouring in vain; except a leading hound loaded with a leaden necklace, to restrain his speed, and depress the instinctive impulse of his nature to a level with those who are not his equals. ”

“ Replete as it is with that great variety which tends to diffuse a genial glow of conscious gratification in every countenance, bespeaking a sense of inexpressible happiness in those who engage in it as spectators only, how much is it to be regretted, that the speed and spirited endeavours of the most beautiful animal in the creation should be prostituted to the worst of purposes! ”

“ Let what will be the condition of your patient, you are not to act as some few conscientious practitioners do, explaining what you conceive to be the nature of the case, original cause of complaint, or from what operation you expect expeditious relief; this may be the best practice with those unfashionable formal old fellows, who received their medical instructions near half a century since, and pique themselves upon what they call their integrity; but it will be perfectly illiberal in you, who have received a more modern, and polished education. ”

“ Gracious God! benevolent Parent of the universe, what a prodigy must he be in a Christian land, who could thus disgrace his nature by such gigantic infamy, at which the blood of a heathen, of a very Hottentot, might curdle! Two useful animals, the bull, who propagates our food, and the faithful dog, who protects our property, to be thus tormented! ”

“ The most impassioned stag-hunter must confess, that no part of his chase admits of such description. The only variety he can fairly expect, depends upon the wind and the temper of the deer, who, by being either sulky, or not in condition to maintain a contest with the hounds, (to whom he leaves a burning scent, that gives them no trouble in the pursuit,) shortens or extends his gallop; but there is none of the enthusiasm of hunting, which the sportsman feels, when he is following an animal, upon whose own exertions of speed and craftiness his life is staked ”

“ When called to a patient upon the recommendation of the family apothecary, you are to consider him one of your best friends, and pay court to him accordingly; on the contrary, if you are engaged upon the spontaneous opinion of the patient, or his relatives, you have every reason to conclude the abilities of the apothecary are held in very slender estimation, and you may safely venture to display as much of your own consequence and superiority, as circumstances will admit. ”

“ From a contemplative review of the operations of nature, it is evidently demonstrated, that there is a secret instinctive principle infused into the whole race of animals, whereby they are impulsively propelled to the propagation of their species, the preservation of their offspring, or an implicit pursuit of their propensities; so that no one shall become too numerous and destructive for the existence of another upon whom they prey, or with which they live in a perpetual state of warfare. ”

“ If at first sight you are attracted by their bright, bold, prominent appearance, and observe they are sufficiently clear and transparent to reflect your own figure in the eye as you stand before it, and the horse neither winks, blinks, or rolls the orbs of the eyes about, as if feeling for the light when brought out of the stable, there is then every well-founded reason to believe they are not only safe, but PERFECTLY GOOD. On the contrary, when the EYE appears flat, as if sunk in its orbit, with a palpable vacuum round the orb, between it and the eye-lid, it is a very unfavourable indication ”