Albert Kinross

“ The next day I called on some of the people whose names had been given me by my French acquaintance.
"I started with a real yeast merchant who was not a piano-tuner, a young fellow who had lost an arm early in the war and who was very bitter.
"'When Major Baker was here, he dealt with me; but now this Major Colgate has changed it,' he cried. 'He goes to a dirty civilian an embusqué; it is for this that one loses an arm!'
"His price had been satisfactory. We were paying twenty per cent. more than he had charged and he was still ready to supply us on the old terms. ”

“ That's all the fun he gets out of it, and most times he doesn't know whether he's hit anybody or not. Or you squirm on your belly in the mud and a chap up in the air drops bombs on you, and you're stiff with funk and he's not specially enjoying it. ”

“ Sick men have strange fancies, and when their rank is high enough the hospital does its best for them. There was that general who was always calling for wild birds and oysters, and the birds were difficult to come by. I often felt like sending him a ten-franc note and asking him to pass the job on to his servant.
"The really serious business of that office, however, lay in getting fresh vegetables for the troops, bran for the horses, and yeast for the bakeries. ”

“ It's all right if you've money or get in with the people who'll push you if you do as you're told; or you may be an unscrupulous rascal till you're forty and spend the rest of your life covering it up. But people like me have to get out of it—too much of a crowd. ”

“ I went in for the last time, and there my enemies sat in a serried row, the corporal, the interpreter, and the major. They looked at me as though they had won a victory, as though they had downed me. Every one of them.
"I found the things I'd come for. The private made them up into a parcel for me; and as I turned to go, 'Oh, Vignolles, I saw the colonel,' drawled Colgate, 'I explained matters to him. You took a bad knock up the line, didn't you? Concussion? Makes a man a bit queer in his head at times, eh? ”

“ It was exactly like living in a wild detective story where every one is a liar and trying to throw you off the scent. And when I had done with the corporal and Audibert, I turned to the private and we looked up the prices we were paying for yeast, bran, and vegetables at the time the major's letters had been written, when he had stood the old contractors off and taken the new ones on. We found the date and the prices. The old contractors were ever so much cheaper than the new and the yeast was exactly the same yeast with the same trade-mark ”

“ Down at the base, of course, we weren't particularly heroic, and most of our work was unloading supplies off steamers and stacking them and sending 'em up the line by rail. I wasn't wanted for that job. I wasn't wanted much for anything, it seemed, and every morning I went down to the supply depot, reported to the adjutant, and he smiled and said, 'You just play about.' So off I'd go to the sea-front and have a bathe and talk to French families on the beach and try to keep out of mischief till bed-time. ”

“ He dumps down his load and goes home. Or, once in a blue moon, you may be able to empty your revolver into a man or two who's trying to bayonet you. Nobody's very sane in those moments, and I grant it's exciting. But you finish with it, and it evaporates. It's a kind of debauch. You were drunken and glorious, and now you're sober."
"What about the generals?" I put in here. "They get a good deal of sustained excitement. Foch must have had months of it, and so must Ludendorff."
"One man in a million; that's not much to go round. ”

“ Major Colgate always says so. Not enough competition. And, of course, it's the quantities that make the price. They don't tell us the quantities.'
"It might easily be true and one knew what these contractors and people were, all out to rob and make the most of their opportunity; still, I didn't quite see why vegetables should cost from fifteen to twenty per cent. more here than a few miles away, though they might have one over yeast and things like that, for instance. ”

“ Corporal Cliffe knows all about things; you leave it to him and you can't go wrong. And if you're asked for something fresh, there's the interpreter. Audibert'll always find a good man for you and do the bargaining. I'll take you round to the bank and introduce you. There won't be many checks to sign and I'll be out and about again before you can turn round. There's nothing in it really if you're used to big business. And there's a car. You'll have a car.'
"We took the car and drove to the bank and I gave them my signature and found I had a credit balance of a good many thousand francs. ”

“ Audibert's a curiosity; seems to think the war's on for his special benefit. He'd be in the infantry if we had no use for him. I used to threaten him. It kept him quiet'; and Baker rose and made for his car that stood with mine outside. 'I'll go on poaching,' he cried as he drove off.
"I went back to the one-armed yeast merchant after that and asked him if he too had received a letter from Major Colgate saying that the British Army could buy more cheaply elsewhere. ”

“ When Major Baker was here it stood very high and was very competent; but the last six months with Major Colgate—we do not understand it. Or one can only suspect. It is difficult for honest people to deal with them. It is often so in our own army. ”

“ It's our business to find the stuff. That's why we're called Local Purchase. Simple as ABC. Corporal Cliffe knows all about it. Don't you, Cliffe? Now I'd best be off. We'll drive to the hospital.'
"I went along with him and on the road he told me what an important fellow he was at home. 'A big employer of labor,' he said, 'but of course I joined up. Can't ask other men to join if you funk it yourself, can you?' He laughed at his major's pay. ”

“ He was probably at the back of the widow, at the back of the piano-tuner, and was no doubt standing in with everybody else. We were paying fifteen to twenty per cent. above the market rates for practically everything we touched. Our yearly turnover was close upon two hundred thousand pounds. Joffre, French, and the Kaiser together weren't doing as well out of the war as Major Colgate, though they had a trifle more responsibility. I was rather in a rage when I got back to the office and found the corporal and the interpreter in consultation ”

“ They're a nation of market-gardeners, and there were lots of millers with bran, and the yeast came from the distilleries. Every base had its own area and we were not allowed to poach on each other's preserves. Still, we were given a large slice of country, and having a car one could get about quite comfortably. And in the office I found that everything was pretty well cut and dried and it would be simple to carry on with the contractors and people Major Colgate had left to us. ”

“ Our tradition was to trust people and the main thing was that the stuff should be on hand when it was wanted.
"So there I was, carrying on under the guidance of my little staff, the corporal full of precedent, the interpreter not much occupied, the private keeping the books and looking after the accounts. In that huge supply depot we formed a tiny island, a very peaceful spot. Sometimes I wandered round and marveled at its industry ”

“ But this one let himself go.
"'Says he's got no end of money—a big employer of labor—bought and sold things all his life, and no one's ever heard of him. The colonel believes him; I don't. He's what I call an opportunist. Strikes me he was out of a job and living on his wits when the war came.'
"No doubt Colgate was the type that impose upon a certain kind of regular soldier. In the civilian world they are often pretty helpless ”