Albert Kinross

“ His packing-room and offices were in an old house since demolished; a fine old house that had formerly belonged to one of those past merchants who weren't above living where they traded. It was in Basinghall Street. But now the City of London had become too valuable and too crowded for such an extravagance.
I meandered on, tasting that flood of life, so masculine, so ant-like, and so intent. Between the Bank and Ludgate Circus I seemed the only loafer. I carried a stick and sauntered. Once or twice I caught the eye of a young man looking at me with envy. ”

“ I answered.
"No man and no woman know what they're taking on till the first year's over," he said abruptly.
"And after that?" I asked.
"They begin to put questions. You'd say, 'By Jove, is it worth it?' and Eve'd say, 'By Jove, is it worth it?' But you'd both go on and hide the doubt away from one another and even from yourselves. That's what I did, and, perhaps, I found a different answer. It was worth it. But I'm not like you, young Vignolles. And I'm not like Eve. She's had everything; she's never been denied. I've spoilt my women. Perhaps we've spoilt one another. ”

“ The sea and sun had done their best for me; while here in London at the end of a long winter men had no color and all the druggist shops were selling stuffs for coughs and colds. That would be my life I said. But Eve was worth it. I realized then that all those men were selling themselves for women and children and a home; and after that they seemed more human, easier to understand; even rather heroic, I felt, as I watched them, hurrying upon their business, broken into it, habituated. ”

“ And I saw her again, decked with flowers, as we had ridden back amid our cloud of Spaniards, her face alight, her lips parted with the joy of an adventure. She made this London world seem common and cheap and tawdry; and by that time I had come to Regent's Park and seated myself upon a bench.
I killed an hour at the Zoo after that and visited my friend the bison. I bought him a bag of buns and commiserated with him on the disappearance of a noble race. There are not many bisons left in the worlds are there? And these few are but a survival, an exhibit more than a species. ”

“ It seemed to me then that to be "wonderful" you must have masses of gold-flecked hair and the courage to talk to a man like myself, of no account, and make a god of him.
I don't know that you would have called Eve Drummond a beauty. She was rather more than that. She had personality, daring, sex—it is these things I recall so much more than her features, her color, and the cool strength of her lithe body. There were better-looking girls on board than she; but no one half so vivid, so charged with power and energy. ”

“ It was the one room in the place that we youngsters respected.
"By the way," he began, "Eve told me you've gone into your father's business. How do you like it?"
"I don't know that it's a question of liking," I answered; "it's the only way."
"Nobody works for fun, I suppose—at least, that kind of work. I could give you a job up here; but you wouldn't stick it."
"I'd stick anything to make a decent income."
"I suppose you would," he answered; "and when you'd stuck it long enough, you'd suddenly wake up." ”

“ And the children you'd begotten and were spending yourself over would be a burden, and all the kindness in the world wouldn't atone for it.... I'm different. I can stand it. So can most men. But you!
"You'd submit—you'd knuckle under," he ran on; "But, in your heart, you'd hate it. And Eve would ask for all that, and nothing else would satisfy her. It's nature. It's no good judging it or fighting it. Women are kind; but women are cruel. God made 'em so. And the women of the rich are more cruel than any." ”

“ Still, as I said to my father once: "We Vignolles have been in trade for three generations; it's about time one of us started doing something else. It's against Darwin and evolution to go on forever." He was hot on Darwin and Huxley in his way; yet when it came to a matter of business, he threw his hobbies overboard and what had been good enough for him was good enough for me. However, for the time being, I was a sudden and sumptuous capitalist, and I cast round for ways and means of spending my Aunt Betty's savings in a way to do her credit or to make her turn in her grave. ”

“ And it isn't the money; it's the loss of something greater; of trust, of faith, of loyalty 'twixt man and man. I didn't know that old Drummond's words had startled me till we reached home.
Taking my bath that evening and changing for dinner in the solitude of my room, my spirits suddenly went flop. Drummond had made me pause and look upon the naked face of things; not on our hopes, but on the things that are.
Downstairs, however, we were full of guests and bustle, and Eve was acting in a burlesque melodrama that had been prepared as a lark for us. ”

“ They were less so in mine. She showed no desire to make the acquaintance of my people; nor did I press her. Once on a Saturday we passed my mother and sister driving in the Park—they often hired a carriage to see the show—and Eve was merely curious about them.
"But don't you see I want to get you away from all of that?" she explained. "Why don't you go in for politics or something decent?"
This made me laugh; for, as you may imagine, I was never very much attracted by that game.
At the house, Mrs. Drummond smiled her invariable, benignant smile upon us, indulgent, kindly, gracious. ”

“ Vignolles was not embarrassed, though he ought to have been. But it takes a good deal to embarrass Vignolles; and here was a case in point.
"What do you think of me?" we heard her ask him; and next she had led him off to where she was shown as only Edwards dared show her. A predatory object, a veritable bird of prey, he had made of her; with her aquiline nose slightly accentuated, hard-eyed, and hands that looked like claws.
"You aren't as bad as all that," said Vignolles, smiling. "What are you going to do to him?"
"Keep him waiting," she laughed. "He's always hard up, isn't he? ”

“ We'd chosen our places under a spreading tree that made a pool of shadow. We were alone and yet not alone, as one often is in London. To Vignolles, who had wandered so far and forever been much of a spectator, if not an actual outsider, there was always a certain grim enjoyment to be found in any place like this. I remember he began by telling me about a maiden aunt of his who'd died and left him five hundred pounds. ”

“ I believe we landed on a dozen islands and anchored in as many bays or harbors, or just lay out to sea, with pinnaces going and coming. And black men in boats rocked alongside and offered us things they had to sell. But that happens everywhere; and to me the West Indies are just Eve Drummond.
I don't know who began it; does one ever know, unless one is refused? ”

“ And next I turned and listened to her father.
"I like you, Vignolles," he had said; "that's why I'm taking all this trouble. I've spent a week trying to understand you. Eve I already know. She wouldn't stick it"; and when I turned a challenging face to him, he went on, unruffled.
"She fell in love with a hero," he pursued, "a romantic fellow she met on board a ship and rode with on islands; a careless young devil who'd taken his chances and didn't give a fig for any man. That's right, isn't it? But if you go into business, you'll lose all that. ”

“ His face—his dear old face!
He was in his tall hat, his black coat, and holding his silk umbrella. I was in my shirts sleeves and a trifle grimy, and Eve had her hat at the back of her head and half a cigarette stuck in the corner of her mouth— But there stood my father.
"Miss Drummond—" I began. But he never believed me.
"What right," he spluttered, "what right have you to bring your girls up here! If you want to see your girls, you see them outside!" ”

“ You may not know it," he ran on, "but you will some day, when these things clear and you have suffered to the limit. A man suffers what he can endure—no more, no less—and just now you're tolerably happy? And you won't believe me; not to-day at any rate. In a few years' time, perhaps. Then you'll say, 'The old fool was right.' To-day you'll be angry with me. I don't blame you. I'd have been angry if I'd met myself forty years ago.... You'll do as you like, in any case," he ended, "and so will Eve. ”

“ Your mother and I began with less; and I dare say a girl like that'll have money of her own. You'd have two or three thousand a year as a beginning; that isn't so bad, is it? I don't think that Mr. Drummond himself would look upon you as a pauper; and, with more capital, the business might be extended. I think my clients would stick to you; they'd sooner do business with my son than go elsewhere. And I'm growing old," he said. "I've often felt that it was about time for me to retire. I'd thought of selling the business—I've had offers—but now you're here there'll be no need." ”

“ You're too old to change. I wanted to win my wife, just as you want to win Eve. And I've won her," he continued. "I've given her all that any man could give; she wanted those things, and I don't blame her. Perhaps I wanted them, myself. Eve'll want them too, and more besides. ”

“ She danced and went to parties; she had friends, she went shopping; and just then she had become engaged to a young stock-broker, a fellow called Carey-Holt. As a young man he was tolerable. He had his season and after that he passed into the ranks of the prosperous bores. One accepted him. There he was, and one knew exactly what he was going to say or do. But just now he was young and vivacious and Netta regarded herself as happy. I suppose she was. Happiness depends on what you want.
I don't know that I ever loved my mother or that she loved me. She wasn't built that way. Some women aren't. ”

“ He seemed surprised at this attention.
"Good-by, bison," I said. "I'm off now. The world hasn't much use for us, has it?" And as he chewed and grunted, "We were too strong, too primitive, too simple," I said; "and Eve's father and that fellow on the ship who'd been smashed up were right. Eh, boy? And that's the long and the short of it."
XVII
Vignolles was finished. I remember then that I looked up, expecting more from him; for I hadn't quite realized that he was finished. And when no more came:
"Eve Damer—she's your Eve Drummond?" I asked. ”

“ I learnt to know the country from Ludgate Circus to the Tower, every nook and every cranny—tucked-away churches and churchyards, museums, and halls of City companies, and Georgian and Queen Anne houses in back-waters and blind alleys. Carter, the office-boy, went with me sometimes, and always the first time. He usually made a picnic of our stroll; ate squashed dates out of a bag or cocoanut chips, or cubes of nougat bought from men with barrows—it tasted like paper ”

“ Passion is old and shadowed with death, but love is ever new; and, somehow, by instinct, by memories deeper than ourselves, we clung to this virginity, this wonder and amazement—a happiness unclouded that started afresh with each new day. ”

“ Eve didn't care; but most women would have kicked my shins under the table and signaled to me to shut up. But she rather rejoiced in it; and all those gay young men—I've often wondered what they thought. They were respectful; but I suppose they voted me a barbarian; some sort of an outsider, at any rate, like a novelist or an explorer, or one or another of the celebrities that descended on us here and there. For, by Jove, what with Good Friday and Easter, we were a crowd! Politicians and professors and the meenister fra the kirk. And old Drummond stood them all, and even me! ”

“ I replied.
"Why should you go on?" she answered. "When we first met you were a man," she continued; "now—" and she looked the rest at me. It was quite enough. "Say you're glad," she pursued. "In your heart of hearts you must be glad!"
And, by Jove, I was! For there were two things going on inside me, the desire for her and the desire for my lost freedom.
"I know you are!" she cried. "What's the use of pretending?" ”

“ My mind went back to Arabs eating in the shade, to brown men resting beside their yoke of oxen, to the leisure and the space of sunlit lands, and people who, having filled themselves, could take their ease. ”

“ I wasn't entirely mad; indeed, if one comes of a respectable family, there's always a residuum of respectability hidden away somewhere inside of one. Perhaps it was that which held me back, which made me in some measure her champion ”

“ She came down out of the clouds and was kind to me—put her arm round my shoulders and her cheek to mine.
"You're like this rock," she said; "that's why I love you. I don't think if the worst came to the worst you'd ever change."
I couldn't follow her; but I seemed to understand her. "Thanks, kid," I said; and I don't know that I ever have changed. She has, perhaps; but, even she.... How many people are we? I suppose a dozen.
IX
On the Easter Saturday, Drummond put his arm through mine. "You're coming for a walk with me this afternoon," he said; "never mind about Eve; she'll let you off." ”

“ The canal had been rather a gold-mine to Vignolles Brothers and Company—they still stuck to the old style from habit. I learnt all that over again—I d heard most of it vaguely—chatting away at luncheon and sometimes after dinner. My father's business now was buying goods and shipping them to his clients overseas. Sometimes they paid in produce and sometimes in bills. I was always quick at the theory of any business, though not so ready with the practice. ”

“ You can't be cold and distant when you're seasick and so everybody was beginning to know everybody else. We were most of us leisurely people with daughters, well bred, well off, with a sprinkling of stock-brokers and rich men from the City. ”