“ DOL. O, you play the courtier. MAM. Good lady, give me leave— DOL. In faith, I may not, To mock me, sir. MAM. To burn in this sweet flame; The phoenix never knew a nobler death. DOL. Nay, now you court the courtier, and destroy What you would build. This art, sir, in your words, Calls your whole faith in question. MAM. By my soul— DOL. Nay, oaths are made of the same air, sir. MAM. Nature Never bestow'd upon mortality A more unblamed, a more harmonious feature; She play'd the step-dame in all faces else: Sweet Madam, let me be particular— DOL. Particular, sir! ”
Summary
“The Alchemist”, is a work by Ben Jonson. It explores elements such as comedy, Shakespeare and play.
Quotes from The Alchemist (Ben Jonson)
“ A noble count, a don of Spain, my dear Delicious compeer, and my party-bawd, Who is come hither private for his conscience, And brought munition with him, six great slops, Bigger than three Dutch hoys, beside round trunks, Furnished with pistolets, and pieces of eight, Will straight be here, my rogue, to have thy bath, (That is the colour,) and to make his battery Upon our Dol, our castle, our cinque-port, Our Dover pier, our what thou wilt. Where is she? She must prepare perfumes, delicate linen, The bath in chief, a banquet, and her wit, For she must milk his epididimis. ”
“ The naming this commander doth confirm it. Don Face! why, he's the most authentic dealer In these commodities, the superintendant To all the quainter traffickers in town! He is the visitor, and does appoint, Who lies with whom, and at what hour; what price; Which gown, and in what smock; what fall; what tire. Him will I prove, by a third person, to find The subtleties of this dark labyrinth: Which if I do discover, dear sir Mammon, You'll give your poor friend leave, though no philosopher, To laugh: for you that are, 'tis thought, shall weep. FACE. Sir, he does pray, you'll not forget. ”
“ FACE. Good, sir. MAM. But do you hear? I'll geld you, Lungs. FACE. Yes, sir. MAM. For I do mean To have a list of wives and concubines, Equal with Solomon, who had the stone Alike with me; and I will make me a back With the elixir, that shall be as tough As Hercules, to encounter fifty a night.— Thou'rt sure thou saw'st it blood? FACE. Both blood and spirit, sir. MAM. I will have all my beds blown up, not stuft; Down is too hard: and then, mine oval room Fill'd with such pictures as Tiberius took From Elephantis, and dull Aretine But coldly imitated. ”
“ And now he's dealing pieces on't away.— Methinks I see him entering ordinaries, Dispensing for the pox, and plaguy houses, Reaching his dose, walking Moorfields for lepers, And offering citizens' wives pomander-bracelets, As his preservative, made of the elixir; Searching the spittal, to make old bawds young; And the highways, for beggars, to make rich. I see no end of his labours. He will make Nature asham'd of her long sleep: when art, Who's but a step-dame, shall do more than she, In her best love to mankind, ever could: If his dream lasts, he'll turn the age to gold. [EXEUNT.] ”
“ Where thou shalt keep him waking with thy drum; Thy drum, my Dol, thy drum; till he be tame As the poor black-birds were in the great frost, Or bees are with a bason; and so hive him In the swan-skin coverlid, and cambric sheets, Till he work honey and wax, my little God's-gift. DOL. What is he, general? FACE. An adalantado, A grandee, girl. Was not my Dapper here yet? DOL. No. FACE. Nor my Drugger? DOL. Neither. FACE. A pox on 'em, They are so long a furnishing! ”
“ SUB. This summer He will be of the clothing of his company, And next spring call'd to the scarlet; spend what he can. FACE. What, and so little beard? SUB. Sir, you must think, He may have a receipt to make hair come: But he'll be wise, preserve his youth, and fine for't; His fortune looks for him another way. FACE. 'Slid, doctor, how canst thou know this so soon? I am amused at that! SUB. By a rule, captain, In metoposcopy, which I do work by; A certain star in the forehead, which you see not. Your chestnut or your olive-colour'd face Does never fail: and your long ear doth promise. ”
“ He's a divine instructor! can extract The souls of all things by his art; call all The virtues, and the miracles of the sun, Into a temperate furnace; teach dull nature What her own forces are. A man, the emperor Has courted above Kelly; sent his medals And chains, to invite him. DOL. Ay, and for his physic, sir— MAM. Above the art of Aesculapius, That drew the envy of the thunderer! I know all this, and more. DOL. Troth, I am taken, sir, Whole with these studies, that contemplate nature. MAM. It is a noble humour; but this form Was not intended to so dark a use. ”
“ FACE. Nay, sir, you must quarrel him out o' the house. KAS. I will: —Sir, if you get not out of doors, you lie; And you are a pimp. SUR. Why, this is madness, sir, Not valour in you; I must laugh at this. KAS. It is my humour: you are a pimp and a trig, And an Amadis de Gaul, or a Don Quixote. DRUG. Or a knight o' the curious coxcomb, do you see? [ENTER ANANIAS.] ANA. Peace to the household! KAS. I'll keep peace for no man. ANA. Casting of dollars is concluded lawful. KAS. Is he the constable? SUB. Peace, Ananias. FACE. No, sir. KAS. Then you are an otter, and a shad, a whit, A very tim. ”
“ FACE. Mi vida! 'Slid, Subtle, he puts me in mind of the widow. What dost thou say to draw her to it, ha! And tell her 'tis her fortune? all our venture Now lies upon't. It is but one man more, Which of us chance to have her: and beside, There is no maidenhead to be fear'd or lost. What dost thou think on't, Subtle? SUB. Who? I? why— FACE. The credit of our house too is engaged. SUB. You made me an offer for my share erewhile. What wilt thou give me, i'faith? FACE. O, by that light I'll not buy now: You know your doom to me. E'en take your lot, obey your chance, sir ”
“ This town will not half serve me. FACE. No, sir! buy The covering off o' churches. MAM. That's true. FACE. Yes. Let them stand bare, as do their auditory; Or cap them, new, with shingles. MAM. No, good thatch: Thatch will lie light upon the rafters, Lungs.— Lungs, I will manumit thee from the furnace; I will restore thee thy complexion, Puffe, Lost in the embers; and repair this brain, Hurt with the fume o' the metals. FACE. I have blown, sir, Hard for your worship; thrown by many a coal, When 'twas not beech; weigh'd those I put in, just, To keep your heat still even ”
“ Our scene is London, 'cause we would make known, No country's mirth is better than our own: No clime breeds better matter for your whore, Bawd, squire, impostor, many persons more, Whose manners, now call'd humours, feed the stage; And which have still been subject for the rage Or spleen of comic writers. Though this pen Did never aim to grieve, but better men; Howe'er the age he lives in doth endure The vices that she breeds, above their cure. ”
“ DRUG. Sir, I do thank his worship. FACE. Six o' thy legs more will not do it, Nab. He has brought you a pipe of tobacco, doctor. DRUG. Yes, sir; I have another thing I would impart— FACE. Out with it, Nab. DRUG. Sir, there is lodged, hard by me, A rich young widow— FACE. Good! a bona roba? DRUG. But nineteen, at the most. FACE. Very good, Abel. DRUG. Marry, she's not in fashion yet; she wears A hood, but it stands a cop. FACE. No matter, Abel. DRUG. And I do now and then give her a fucus— FACE. What! dost thou deal, Nab? SUB. I did tell you, captain. DRUG. And physic too, sometime, sir ”
“ Do we succeed? Is our day come? and holds it? FACE. The evening will set red upon you, sir; You have colour for it, crimson: the red ferment Has done his office; three hours hence prepare you To see projection. MAM. Pertinax, my Surly. Again I say to thee, aloud, Be rich. This day, thou shalt have ingots; and to-morrow, Give lords th' affront.—Is it, my Zephyrus, right? Blushes the bolt's-head? FACE. Like a wench with child, sir, That were but now discover'd to her master. MAM. Excellent witty Lungs!—my only care Where to get stuff enough now, to project on ”
“ For you're a handsome woman: would you were wise too! I am a gentleman come here disguised, Only to find the knaveries of this citadel; And where I might have wrong'd your honour, and have not, I claim some interest in your love. You are, They say, a widow, rich: and I'm a batchelor, Worth nought: your fortunes may make me a man, As mine have preserv'd you a woman. Think upon it, And whether I have deserv'd you or no. DAME P. I will, sir. SUR. And for these household-rogues, let me alone To treat with them. [ENTER SUBTLE.] SUB. How doth my noble Diego, And my dear madam countess? ”
“ FACE. Away, sir. MAM. A count, nay, a count palatine— FACE. Good, sir, go. MAM. Shall not advance thee better: no, nor faster. [EXIT.] [RE-ENTER SUBTLE AND DOL.] SUB. Has he bit? has he bit? FACE. And swallowed, too, my Subtle. I have given him line, and now he plays, i'faith. SUB. And shall we twitch him? FACE. Thorough both the gills. A wench is a rare bait, with which a man No sooner's taken, but he straight firks mad. SUB. Dol, my Lord What'ts'hums sister, you must now Bear yourself statelich. DOL. O let me alone. I'll not forget my race, I warrant you. ”
“ And for the whole year through, at every place, Where there is play, present him with the chair; The best attendance, the best drink; sometimes Two glasses of Canary, and pay nothing; The purest linen, and the sharpest knife, The partridge next his trencher: and somewhere The dainty bed, in private, with the dainty. You shall have your ordinaries bid for him, As play-houses for a poet; and the master Pray him aloud to name what dish he affects, Which must be butter'd shrimps: and those that drink To no mouth else, will drink to his, as being The goodly president mouth of all the board. ”
“ And even in gold they are; for we do find Seeds of them, by our fire, and gold in them; And can produce the species of each metal More perfect thence, than nature doth in earth. Beside, who doth not see in daily practice Art can beget bees, hornets, beetles, wasps, Out of the carcases and dung of creatures; Yea, scorpions of an herb, being rightly placed? And these are living creatures, far more perfect And excellent than metals. MAM. Well said, father! Nay, if he take you in hand, sir, with an argument, He'll bray you in a mortar. ”
“ Help, good sir! alas, Coldness and death invades him. Nay, sir Mammon, Do the fair offices of a man! you stand, As you were readier to depart than he. [KNOCKING WITHIN.] Who's there? my lord her brother is come. MAM. Ha, Lungs! FACE. His coach is at the door. Avoid his sight, For he's as furious as his sister's mad. MAM. Alas! FACE. My brain is quite undone with the fume, sir, I ne'er must hope to be mine own man again. MAM. Is all lost, Lungs? will nothing be preserv'd Of all our cost? FACE. Faith, very little, sir; A peck of coals or so, which is cold comfort, sir. ”
“ This play as a fabric of plot is a very slight affair; but as a satirical picture of the manners of the time, proceeding by means of vivid caricature, couched in witty and brilliant dialogue and sustained by that righteous indignation which must lie at the heart of all true satire—as a realisation, in short, of the classical ideal of comedy—there had been nothing like Jonson's comedy since the days of Aristophanes. "Every Man in His Humour," like the two plays that follow it, contains two kinds of attack, the critical or generally satiric, levelled at abuses and corruptions in the abstract ”
“ FACE. Why, now's the time, if ever you will quarrel Well, as they say, and be a true-born child: The doctor and your sister both are abused. KAS. Where is he? which is he? he is a slave, Whate'er he is, and the son of a whore.—Are you The man, sir, I would know? SUR. I should be loth, sir, To confess so much. KAS. Then you lie in your throat. SUR. How! FACE [TO KASTRIL] . A very errant rogue, sir, and a cheater, Employ'd here by another conjurer That does not love the doctor, and would cross him, If he knew how. SUR. Sir, you are abused. KAS. You lie: And 'tis no matter. FACE. Well said, sir! ”
“ BEN JONSON. TO THE READER. If thou beest more, thou art an understander, and then I trust thee. If thou art one that takest up, and but a pretender, beware of what hands thou receivest thy commodity; for thou wert never more fair in the way to be cozened, than in this age, in poetry, especially in plays: wherein, now the concupiscence of dances and of antics so reigneth, as to run away from nature, and be afraid of her, is the only point of art that tickles the spectators. But how out of purpose, and place, do I name art? ”
“ FACE. Why now, sir, talk. Now I dare hear you with mine honour. Speak. So may this gentleman too. SUB. Why, sir— [OFFERING TO WHISPER FACE.] FACE. No whispering. SUB. Fore heaven, you do not apprehend the loss You do yourself in this. FACE. Wherein? for what? SUB. Marry, to be so importunate for one, That, when he has it, will undo you all: He'll win up all the money in the town. FACE. How! SUB. Yes, and blow up gamester after gamester, As they do crackers in a puppet-play. If I do give him a familiar, Give you him all you play for; never set him: For he will have it. ”
“ Where it retains more of the humid fatness, It turns to sulphur, or to quicksilver, Who are the parents of all other metals. Nor can this remote matter suddenly Progress so from extreme unto extreme, As to grow gold, and leap o'er all the means. Nature doth first beget the imperfect, then Proceeds she to the perfect. Of that airy And oily water, mercury is engender'd; Sulphur of the fat and earthy part; the one, Which is the last, supplying the place of male, The other of the female, in all metals. Some do believe hermaphrodeity, That both do act and suffer. ”
“ LOVE. Come, will you quarrel? I will feize you, sirrah; Why do you not buckle to your tools? KAS. Od's light, This is a fine old boy as e'er I saw! LOVE. What, do you change your copy now? proceed; Here stands my dove: stoop at her, if you dare. KAS. 'Slight, I must love him! I cannot choose, i'faith, An I should be hang'd for't! Suster, I protest, I honour thee for this match. LOVE. O, do you so, sir? KAS. Yes, an thou canst take tobacco and drink, old boy, I'll give her five hundred pound more to her marriage, Than her own state. LOVE. Fill a pipe full, Jeremy. ”
“ SUB. Sirrah, my varlet, stand you forth and speak to him, Like a philosopher: answer in the language. Name the vexations, and the martyrisations Of metals in the work. FACE. Sir, putrefaction, Solution, ablution, sublimation, Cohobation, calcination, ceration, and Fixation. SUB. This is heathen Greek to you, now!— And when comes vivification? FACE. After mortification. SUB. What's cohobation? FACE. 'Tis the pouring on Your aqua regis, and then drawing him off, To the trine circle of the seven spheres. SUB. What's the proper passion of metals? ”
“ FACE. Who would have look'd it should have been that rascal, Surly? he had dyed his beard and all. Well, sir. Here's damask come to make you a suit. SUB. Where's Drugger? FACE. He is gone to borrow me a Spanish habit; I'll be the count, now. SUB. But where's the widow? FACE. Within, with my lord's sister; madam Dol Is entertaining her. SUB. By your favour, Face, Now she is honest, I will stand again. FACE. You will not offer it. SUB. Why? FACE. Stand to your word, Or—here comes Dol, she knows— SUB. You are tyrannous still. [ENTER DOL, HASTILY.] FACE. Strict for my right.—How now, Dol! ”
“ That you should hatch gold in a furnace, sir, As they do eggs in Egypt! SUB. Sir, do you Believe that eggs are hatch'd so? SUR. If I should? SUB. Why, I think that the greater miracle. No egg but differs from a chicken more Than metals in themselves. SUR. That cannot be. The egg's ordain'd by nature to that end, And is a chicken in potentia. SUB. The same we say of lead and other metals, Which would be gold, if they had time. MAM. And that Our art doth further. SUB. Ay, for 'twere absurb To think that nature in the earth bred gold Perfect in the instant: something went before. ”
“ LOVE. Peace, and get hence, you changelings. [ENTER SURLY AND MAMMON.] FACE [ASIDE] . Surly come! And Mammon made acquainted! they'll tell all. How shall I beat them off? what shall I do? Nothing's more wretched than a guilty conscience. SUR. No, sir, he was a great physician. This, It was no bawdy-house, but a mere chancel! You knew the lord and his sister. MAM. Nay, good Surly.— SUR. The happy word, BE RICH— MAM. Play not the tyrant.— SUR. "Should be to-day pronounced to all your friends." And where be your andirons now? ”
“ DOL. "And so we may arrive by Talmud skill, And profane Greek, to raise the building up Of Helen's house against the Ismaelite, King of Thogarma, and his habergions Brimstony, blue, and fiery; and the force Of king Abaddon, and the beast of Cittim: Which rabbi David Kimchi, Onkelos, And Aben Ezra do interpret Rome." FACE. How did you put her into't? MAM. Alas, I talk'd Of a fifth monarchy I would erect, With the philosopher's stone, by chance, and she Falls on the other four straight. FACE. Out of Broughton! I told you so. 'Slid, stop her mouth. MAM. Is't best? FACE. She'll never leave else. ”
“ And there within, sir, are the golden mines, Great Solomon's Ophir! he was sailing to't, Three years, but we have reached it in ten months. This is the day, wherein, to all my friends, I will pronounce the happy word, BE RICH; THIS DAY YOU SHALL BE SPECTATISSIMI. You shall no more deal with the hollow dye, Or the frail card. No more be at charge of keeping The livery-punk for the young heir, that must Seal, at all hours, in his shirt: no more, If he deny, have him beaten to't, as he is That brings him the commodity. ”
“ We must give, I say, Unto the motives, and the stirrers up Of humours in the blood. It may be so, When as the work is done, the stone is made, This heat of his may turn into a zeal, And stand up for the beauteous discipline, Against the menstruous cloth and rag of Rome. ”
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