Charles Macklin

“ Play, in its most Honourable Commerce, is a pernicious Vice, but as Luxury, Fashion and Avarice, have improved it all over Europe, It is now become an avow’d System of Fraud and Ruin. The virtuous and Honourable, who Scorn Advantage, are a constant Prey to the vicious and dishonourable, who never Play without one. nor does the Vice Stop here: For the Sharper having Stript his Bubble of his Estate, he next Corrupts his Mind, by making him a Decoy-Duck, in Order to retrieve his Fortune as he lost It. And, from an indegent Virtuous Bubble, the Noble Youth becomes an Affluent vicious Sharper. ”

“ Hyd: This, Mr. Pasquin is Sir Eternal Grin. He is what is call’d a good natured Man & extremely well bred— So Polite he never frownd in his Life.
Grin. No, never in my Life I assure you Mr. Pasquin.
Hyd: He is an uncommon Favourite with the Ladies, And is never so happy as when they employ him.
Grin. No never Sir. ha, ha.
Hyd: His whole Life is spent in their Service, ev’ry Morning you may See him running from Play House to Play House, regulating the Box Book in Consequence of the Commissions he recieved over night for Places. ”

“ In this ambitious attempt to list all the follies of his age, Macklin employs the popular technique of eighteenth-century plays such as Fielding’s The Author’s Farce—the play appears to be writing itself on the stage. He displays all the tricks of satire—exaggeratedly ironic praise, allegorical names (Miss Giggle, Miss Brilliant, Miss Bashfull) , stock characters of satire (Pasquin, Marforio, Hydra, Drawcansir) , lists of offenses, parodies of polite conversation reminiscent of Swift, and constant topical references: to the Robin Hood Society to which little Bob Smart belongs ”

“ Hydra, I should laugh if the Audience shou’d take me for one of the Actresses— but if they do I don’t care; for I am resolved I’ll See this Farce if I never See another.
Hyd: This Mr. Pasquin is the Sprightly Miss Brilliant, a Lady who pants to be acquainted with you; She is intimate with Mr. Garrick— is known to the Fool, corresponds with Sir Alexander Drawcansir, and has writ several Admired Inspectors. ”

“ Sir Pertinax McSychophant in the Man of the World is a good character, especially in his famous speech on the necessity of bowing to get ahead in the world, as is Sir Archy MacSarcasm in Love-a-la-Mode, but the latter produced A Scotsman’s Remarks on the Farce Love-a-la Mode in the Gentleman’s Magazine for June, 1760, and Macklin’s additional troubles with the Licenser would indicate that his satiric barbs were not always well received. ”

“ Pasquin for breaking in upon You.
Pas. O no Offence, Sir, the Town has always a right to interrupt, and disturb a Performance. It is their Prerogative, and shews their Taste and their good Breeding
Hyd. You are right— go on, go on,— a good Sensible Fellow, and knows the Right and Privilege of the Town, go on, go on.
Pas. You are a Being, composed of all the Virtues 71 and Vices, Wisdom and Folly of Human Nature. All Men dread you; all Men Court you; All Men love You— and yet All Men strive to be independent of You. ”

“ But Macklin’s usual good ear for dialogue is missing from this play, nor is any character except his own as Pasquin followed long enough to make his characteristic speech identifiable. Since plot is absent too, all that remains is the wealth of topical and personal satire which in itself is interesting to the historian of the mid-eighteenth-century theatre. ”

“ For you are so inconsistent, that you are Constant in nothing, but Inconstancy—— So good Natur’d, so techy, so wise— and sometimes so otherwise— In Short, so much every thing, that were the whole Sisterhood of the imitative Arts in emulous Association joyn’d, with the Genius of your own Great Shakespear at their Head, Directing their different Powers, and wing his own boundless Imagination into Satyr and Panegirick for the Purpose— They could not be too Severe upon Your Vices— nor could they do Iustice to your Matchless Virtues. ”

“ This vast parade of fashions and foibles with frequent thinly veiled references to individuals may explain the numerous Licenser’s marks on the manuscript. If all the marked lines were omitted, it is small wonder that this afterpiece was performed only once. Dramatic satire, without plot, is difficult to sustain even in farce, and if the marked lines were cut, there was little left to recommend the play. ”

“ The first and last Appeal of Players, Poets, Statesmen, Fidlers, Fools, Philosophers and Kings. If, by the boldness of his Satyr, or the daring Novelty of his Plan and Fable, 73 He has offended, He ought to meet with some degree of Candour, as his Offence was the Effect of a Noble Gratitude, and an Over-heated Zeal to Please His Noble Guests & Patrons, whom he Scorn’d to treat with Vulgar Cates Season’d and Serv’d with Flattery and Common Dramatic Art. For this boldness of his Satyr, this is his Defence— But, for his dulness, he has no Plea. ”

“ O not at all, It is in the Bills that the Town are to Sit upon the Stage, & sure Sir Conjecture the World must Allow you to be a Principall Character amongst Us.
Sr. Con: The World is very kind Madam. I’ll do my Self the Honour to attend you.
Bash. Pray Miss Brilliant do you know who this Pasquin is?
Brill. Yes Child; he is one of the Heathen Gods; Iupiter’s Grandfather. You may read a particular Account of him my dear, in Homer, or Milton, or 11 any of the Greek Poets (pulls out a Bill of the Farce) well I vow its a Whimsicall Bill this; a charming Puff. ”

“ Sir, She has my leave, tho’ She had the Talents of a Brugier with the Ill nature of a Swift.
Miss Dia. The Character I mean Sir, is not immaginary, invented by Slander and Malice, but a true Copy of a universally known Original, which is a trifling, wanton femal Rake: composed of Folly, rudeness, 48 and Indecency. whose Vanity is in pursuit of ev’ry Fellow of Fashion She Sees, and whose Life is a continual Round of vain Inconstancy. ”

“ Ly. Lucy. Admiral! I vow Miss Dy. You have a very Lively Immagination— at your Years, ha, ha, ha— and very Charecteristic. I am amazed You never writ a Comedy. ha— ha— ha— ha.
Miss Dia. When I do Madam, You may be sure I shall enliven it with Lady Lucy Loveit’s Character.
Ly. Lucy. She will be vastly Oblig’d to you— for you will certainly do it great Iustice.
Sr. Rog. Zounds Ladies have done with Your abuse and let the Farce go on; It was funny enough at First, but you continue it too long.
Com. Sir Roger is Right Mr. Pasquin; you have made your Ladies talk too much. ”

“ Sr. Rog. Zounds let us have him brought before the Town.
Pas. Indeed, if I thought the Audience wou’d not be displeas’d at it, I wou’d bring him on, and expose him; for he is a common Gamester, tho’ he pretends to be a Man of Fashion.
Hyd. I dare say the Audience will be glad, and will like the Fun of It.
Pas. What do you Say Gentlemen? shall I bring him on? If you say the Word, I’ll have him examin’d upon the Stage, before you all.
Sr. Rog. Zounds, we are the Town, and we will have him on, whether you will or no. ”

“ A Lady’s Nudities, why, you might as well have said— I vow it 38 is almost plain English, I protest such an Expression is enough to get your Farce hiss’d off the Stage—
Pas. I am extremely Sorry the Phrase offends your Ladyship, but if you will Substitute any other.
Dia. I think Mr. Drawcansir when those Objects are to be expos’d that— a Lady’s Proturberances, her Snow balls, or her Lover’s Amusements— wou’d be much more delicate.
Sr. Rog. You are very right Madam, and if they happen to be of the immense kind— Cupid’s Kettle Drums Mr. Pasquin, wou’d not be an— unelegant Phrase, ha, ha, ha. ”

“ For Our Wit, Sir, 69 like Our Courage, knows no danger, Spares no Character.
Bob. Right, Right— Dem me, my dear give us Satyr, keen cutting Satyr, that’s what Pleases Us— And as to Your Panegeric, take that to Madrid or Paris.
Com. Mr. Pasquin, the Public know they have Follies, as well as Individuals; and, so far from being Angry with the Man, who ridicules them, they always reward him with Approbation and Esteem. ”

“ Pas. Thus, instead of Virtue, Honour and Noble Sentiments being Sown in the Minds of Youth they are tainted 58 with Fraud and Treachery; and those, who should be the Support and Ornament of their Country, are the Confederates of Men, who would be a disgrace to the worst of Countries, in its worst of Times.
Omn. Bravo, bravo, Pasquin, go on, go on [they Applaud him]
Smart. Does he not speak very well Hydra! I think he would make a good Figure at the Robin Hood Society. ”

“ Pas. Your Ladyship is in the Right, pray omit those Amorous Exclamations; for tho’ they may be the genuin Language of the Smarts, and may be thought Wit and Humour amongst themselves, yet upon the Stage such warm Expressions will be Condemned.
Gig. Well, Mr. Pasquin, what is Your Highness’s Censure upon this dreadfull Affair. ha, ha, ha.
Pas. Upon my word Madam, I see no Crime in a desire to please; which I suppose was Your 40 Ladyship’s Motive. on the Contrary, I have always heard it asserted by the Iudicious in dress, that a fine Woman can never shew too much—
Gig. ”

“ I have— but let me once more entreat you to alter your design. do not behave with your usual Sacasm and boldness upon your first appearance. Strive to gain the favour of the Public by Morality and Panegyrick— not by undaunted Satyr—
Pas: Marforio, We are come to England to make Our Fortune by Our parts, And you Advise to begin with Morality and Flattery. You might as well 6 Advise a Soldier to make his Fortune by Cowardice. No Sir, he, who wou’d gain the Esteem of a Brave, a wise, and a free people, must lash their Vices, and laugh at their Folies. ”

“ The vain Creature endeavours to pass upon the World for five and twenty— A Maid & Strictly Virtuous— but is fifty at least— grey as a Badger— has had three Children— one by her Coachman— One by a Horse Granadier— and one by her present Friend— the tall Straping Irishman, whom they call the Captain. ”

“ Pasquin is the Noted Sr. Conjecture Possitive; a Gentleman who was never in an Error in his Life,— consequently cou’d never be convinced. Sr. he understands Politics and Butterflies, Whale fishing and Cricket, Fortification and Shittle Cock; Poetry and Wolf Dogs; in short ev’ry thing, in ev’ry Art and Science, from a Pins Head, to the Longitude & Philosopher’s Stone, better than any Man in Europe.
Sr. Con: O Fye, Mr. Hydra, you are too lavish, Mr. Pasquin will think you are imposing upon him. ”

“ Ly. Lucy. I know it will [whispers to him] let me tell you there are some Characters present wou’d make Admirable Sport upon the Stage. there is Miss Single-Life, that pretended Old Maid is an immense fine one. I can give you all the Out-lines & some of the most glaring Colours of her Character.
Pas. Madam, I shall take it as a Singular Favour.
Ly. Lucy. I’ll give it aloud before her Face, as of another Person, Mr. Pasquin.
Pas. O dear Madam, that will be vastly kind, and quite polite.
Ly. Lucy. Miss Dy— My dear, I am going to describe a Character to Seignior Pasquin for his next piece. ”

“ The advertisement for Macklin’s play in Fielding’s Covent Garden Journal is the same as that printed in The London Stage from the General Advertiser:
a New Dramatic Satire ... written on the model of the Comedies of Aristophanes or like Pasquinades of the Italian Theatre in Paris: with the Characters of the People after the manner of Greek drama—The parts of the Pit, the Boxes, the Galleries, the Stage, and the Town to be performed By Themselves for their Diversion. The Parts of several dull, disorderly characters in and about St. ”

“ Ay, ay, the Peroration, the Peroration— come, Mount the Rostrum, Mr. Pasquin. The Rostrum, the Rostrum,— bring on the Rostrum. bring on the Rostrum!
The Rostrum is brought on.
Pasquin Ascends.
Pas. Most August, Respectable, and Tremendous Public! whose Power is as uncontrolable as the Boundless Winds, whose Iudgement infalable as opposeless Fate, Whom Party cannot Sway, Fear Intimidate, Flattery influence, nor Interest byass. You are each in the art of Government, a Lycurgus; in the 68 Art of War, a Cæsar; In Criticism an Aristotle ”

“ In which ev’ry Man must kill or be kill’d; Consequently all Advantages are Justified by the Law of Self Defence.
Omn. Go on Marforio.
Mar. Gentlemen. The wise Spartans, as an Encouragement to Ingenuity, always reward the thieving Genius, who came off unsuspected, and punish’d the Blockhead who had not Sufficient Art to Conceal his Theft, In Parnussus the Law is the same relating to Frauds in Play; Tho’ it is notorious that this Gentleman has Play’d the best of the Game a thousand times, yet it 60 does not Appear that he has ever been detected in a fraud. ”