F. D. How

“ Helen was a town-bred child of five years old, and the colour gave her usually pale face an added charm. Charm is the right word to use, for, though she did not possess any very great beauty (excepting her large dark eyes and lashes) , it was impossible not to fall under her charm. She fascinated by her various moods, often serious almost to melancholy, but suddenly bursting out into utter and abandoned joyousness. ”

“ By the roadside, in the field ways, by the pathway near the brook, at many a cottage doorway, by many a wicket-gate, our country children, in the beauty of healthfulness and youth, add a hundredfold to the happiness of those who passing by have eyes to see and hearts to understand. ”

“ But, after all is said, it is impossible not to feel that the unknown is so largely in excess of the known, in this as in many other subjects, that the only thing to be done is to try to induce those who have to do with little children to remember that much is possible and even probable—to act, that is, as if the youngest child may possibly remember for its good or ill any smallest fact or object with which its senses are brought into contact. ”

“ This leads naturally to the poetic imaginings of many children who have outgrown their babyhood, but have not yet had their fancies blurred and obscured by the tasks and troubles of the world. They possess a gift which all may envy—the gift of endowing all manner of things, both those which are beautiful in themselves and those which are not, with a glory not their own. ”

“ The greater the admiration of a child for an older person the greater the desire to imitate it. A small boy usually considers his father the most wonderful man he knows, and consequently spends a good deal of time and effort in trying to be like him. A little chap of four or five years old will throw himself into a chair and cross his legs in absurd imitation of his father, and nothing seems too small for children to notice and copy. ”

“ A teacher with great experience of little children has said, and said most truly, “Religion attracts greatly because of the mystery which surrounds the unseen. Besides this, the beauty and the wonderful fitness of all things in nature strengthen more than anything a child’s belief in a Divine Creator.” ”

“ There can be no doubt that the more natural the employment or amusement the greater the pleasure. A little girl is given a tiny dustpan and allowed to sweep the carpet, or she has a drawer full of odds and ends and is asked to sort and arrange them. She will spend an entire morning in such an occupation with the keenest pleasure, and if anyone who has watched her should also see her when dressed up at some “smart” party that same evening there would be no doubt in the mind of the onlooker as to which brought most real happiness to the child. ”

“ But he would be the last to deny the charm of a stroll through lanes or fields where multitudes of flowers claim passing attention and admiration. To pause every few minutes to observe a cluster of primroses, a bank [Pg 163] of mercury, or even a pink-tipped daisy—to halt suddenly as a whiff of sweet perfume tells us of a hidden nest of violets—to gather two or three of the cowslips that spangle the meadows—all this may belong to the lightest side of the study of botany. But it has a charm that few can resist, and thus far at least the veriest beginner can follow. ”

“ If children be allowed to absorb the spirit that is pervading the world at the present day—the spirit of revolt against all authority, the notion, that is, that everyone is to do exactly as he or she chooses—that will of itself bring about a state of mind which is destructive of real happiness. Notions such as these are quickly picked up, and parents who themselves set all rules and authority at defiance cannot expect their children to submit to control. ”

“ It is remarkable to notice how nothing seems to disturb the commonplace reality of the whole thing in the mind of the child. When the imaginary friend is in the room his or her presence is never for a moment forgotten, and plans are gravely made to suit the convenience not of one only but of both the children. ”

“ Although children frequently fail to realise the great shadows which from time to time darken the lives of their elders, yet sometimes a perception of a great sorrow will force its way to the mind of a child, and nothing more pathetic can be witnessed than the dumb perplexity with which a child faces such trouble. ”

“ The result of a habit of thoughtfulness and of a life a little lonelier than that of others will generally tend to the laying up a store of quaint fancies and imaginings about the objects of everyday life, as well as often developing a sympathy which the lonely child has no wish and few chances to exhibit. These things are well worth bringing to the light by anyone who is sufficiently persevering to win the affection and confidence of the little one.
Such children are not averse to all companionship, but are terribly afraid of anyone who does not understand. ”

“ This wonderful imagination is no doubt closely allied with the early powers of memory of which mention has been made, and may also have something at least to do with the early propensity to untruthfulness. Many a child has suffered at the hands of an unimaginative parent for words which have been ruthlessly called lies though they have been so strongly prompted by a vivid imagination that they have seemed as true to the utterer as much that is unintelligible but has to be accepted. ”

“ Almost everywhere we go on our daily road of life there are children to be found, children differing one from another as widely as the primrose from the violet, but each one worth our notice and possessed of a special charm. ”

“ What a happiness it is that in the memories of most people the joys of childhood so far exceed its griefs. Two of the most powerful agents for good in the life of a child are love and happiness, and it may be confidently assumed that where there is an abundance of the former the existence of the latter is assured. ”

“ No one who cares for children can have failed to have come in contact with some who are silent when their comrades shout, grave when the rest are laughing, and look wistfully on when games are in progress. ”

“ It will be observed that this writer implies in all the advice he gives that the parent is the proper person to bring up a child, not a servant at home or a teacher at a distance. “Parents,” he says, “should watch and attend upon their children for the avoiding of evil occasions and to see all duties rightly performed.”
How far have we got nowadays from this ideal! How greatly modern habits of life have interfered with any such possibility! What the ancient moralist quoted above would have said to the upbringing of most children at the present day it is difficult to imagine. ”

“ It is extraordinary to find on talking to one and another how few people realise the pleasure that they lose by failing to observe the little wayside children. There are many persons capable of passing by without [Pg 164] seeing the loveliest of wayside flowers, but there are more who take no heed at all of our wayside children. And yet, if the loss to the former is great, the loss to the latter is greater far. A flower can charm the eye or delight the sense of smell: it can interest the scientific observer who notes its construction and mode of growth ”

“ It runs thus: “The souls of little children are marvellously delicate and tender things, and keep for ever the shadow that first falls on them, and that is the mother’s, or, at best, a woman’s. There never was a great man who had not a great mother: it is hardly an exaggeration. The first six years of our life make us: all that is added later is veneer. And yet some say, if a woman can cook a dinner or dress herself well, she has culture enough.”
All that has been so far written in this chapter on Children’s Religion is of necessity vague and rather difficult. ”

“ As to the number and kind of services to which children should be taken it is impossible to lay down a general rule. Where “Children’s Services” are held by a man who has the gift of attracting and interesting children, the difficulty is partially solved. But these are not much use when they are conducted by persons who cannot sufficiently simplify their language, or by those who are so far out of sympathy with their audience as to appear to be condescending or in the smallest degree pompous—characteristics which are readily observed and resented by all children. ”

“ Possessed as they are of such great powers of imagination in many directions it is curious to notice how often children seem unable to realise or picture to themselves matters with which they will be familiar enough in after life. Take, for instance, the subject of death. A child will imagine the death of a doll. This is a fancy that occurs rarely, and the imagination goes as a rule no further. A child does not picture to itself the sorrow and loss commonly caused by the death of a real person. A little girl of three years old was sitting on her godfather’s knee. ”

“ For most people there is no increase of knowledge from day to day, and certainly there is none of that increase of understanding between observer and observed which lends such charm to the chance meetings with the children who are about our path. ”

“ Even the members of the same family are frequently so different in disposition as to make it unwise to treat them all alike. Some may be so sensitive to the awe-inspiring atmosphere of religious services as to cause a fear lest their mind should become morbid on the subject. Very probably such children would express a strong wish to attend on [Pg 88] every possible occasion, but their pleasure is akin to that which is sometimes felt by people of unhealthy mind who delight in torturing themselves by picturing nameless horrors. ”

“ There is all the difference in the world between this sort of playing at being grown up, and the assumption of airs and graces which some children display. The one is real pleasure, the other the merest mockery. Children who are no sooner out of the nursery than they ape their elders in an insatiable desire for a succession of smart clothes and evening parties are seldom happy children. Those who care for their little ones and want to fill their early years with real pleasures will take care to avoid the causes which produce children such as these. ”

“ It is a fatal mistake for those who are bringing up little children to speak in their presence of religious matters in a way which they do not desire the children to absorb and do not fancy that they understand. ”

“ It is no sort of use talking to children because the speaker has got to say something. It is essential that he should have something to say. Further, it is no use his having something to say unless he is himself enthusiastically interested. Anyone who has tried to speak to children will know how their attention is gone in a moment so soon as he says half-a-dozen words of mere platitude. All this points to the need of careful preparation and thorough knowledge of what he has to say. Then he must say it simply. Children do not understand long words, and cannot follow involved sentences. ”

“ In these days, when the teaching of any virtue necessitates a special Society, and when no Society is complete without its Children’s Branch, children’s meetings are matters of almost everyday occurrence. ”

“ The child has, perhaps, inherited some queer strain of sentimental self-consciousness, or some nervous dread of publicity, which causes it to be like the famous parrot which said little but thought a lot—a condition of things exactly the reverse of what may usually be found in a thoroughly healthy-minded child. ”

“ Once, however, they are perfectly sure of anyone, they will lead them to their secret haunts in field or garden, will confide to them their dread of certain places and people, and finally will allow their most cherished wishes to escape them. In almost all cases the great desire of such children is for something to love, or for somebody in whose affections they may be first. ”

“ Nothing is less likely to produce happiness than to attempt to force little children to amuse themselves in any set way. [Pg 114] How many people have been disappointed by their efforts in this direction! A “recreation” ground has perhaps been provided by some charitable person at great expense. Ten to one it will be deserted by the little ones for whom it was primarily intended and given over to the tender mercies of lads and lasses in their “teens.” The small children find nothing left to their imagination, and infinitely prefer some dirty, and, to adult eyes, disadvantageous corner. ”