Harland William Long

“ In a word, both the husband and wife cannot be too careful, in all ways, in making and keeping their bodies mutually attractive. As has already been said, the sole aim of all the sexual experience of a husband and wife should be to raise the function more and more away from the plane of physical gratification and elevate it continually towards the realm of mental and spiritual delight. This is a mission of sex in the human family that should be made the most of. It involves the cultivation of the Art of Love, which is truly the art of arts, par excellence. ”

“ So it is that most brides and bridegrooms go to their marriage bed with the most widely diverse views as to what is right and wrong in the premises--as to the life they will lead in their new estate. The young wife is for "purity" and "chastity." The young husband, driven by a passion which he has long held in thrall, in the belief that he can now give the fullest vent to it, when he has got where such relief is possible, is like an excited hound when it seizes its prey, which he fully believes he has the right to deal with as he pleases! ”

“ In both these last described ways of courting, the husband should be extra careful not to permit the weight of his body to press down heavily upon his wife. He should wholly sustain himself on his elbows and knees, and permit her to lift herself, at least her hips, by the help of her arms around his waist. This is no hardship for the husband, if he be a true lover. For is he not strong, and what is his strength for but to delight his sweetheart? A true, devoted, virile and manly lover is always at the service of his sweetheart! To delight her, is to doubly delight himself. ”

“ The fact is that, in true marriage, neither the husband nor the wife can be selfishly supreme. If selfishness asserts itself, on the part of either husband or wife, hell is sure to follow. There can be no true marriage under such circumstances, because there is no supremacy in true love, and it is only true love that can make an abiding true marriage. In true marriage, such as both God and Nature design should be, there is perfect comradery, equals walking with equals, with the principle of love and mutual helpfulness shared alike by both. ”

“ In view of this fact, is it too much to raise the question whether or not sex in woman is designed to fulfill any other purpose than that of the reproduction of the race? True it is, that the only function of sex in all other females is merely that of producing offspring—of perpetuating its kind. Under no circumstances does it ever serve any other end, fulfill any other design. ”

“ Referring to the things that have already been said, of course an embrace which is to result in pregnancy should be one of the most perfect that can possibly be experienced, one in which, in an ecstasy of love's delight, husband and wife merge their souls and bodies into a perfect oneness—it would seem that from such a meeting the best, and only the best results could come. ”

“ On the contrary, if the man is "impotent" there is small hope of his ever coming out of such condition, and the chances are many to one that he will never be able to satisfy his wife sexually. He may be a "good man," in a way, but he can never be a good husband, in the full meaning of that word.
On the other hand, if a woman marries for money, or a home, or position, or place, or power, or a "meal-ticket"--for anything but love, she will doubtless be anesthetic and stay so. She deserves to! She sells herself for a mess of pottage, whoever she is. ”

“ If I look at sex right out of my own soul, it seems like something which God didn't fail with, but succeeded with. Like something not polluted, but purified. Like something having everything, instead of only an occasional thing, to do with life. But the world shakes its head. The world is nasty. But it puts on airs. The world has eaten. But the world says it's best to starve. Folks will say they've got to be parents. But they say they will regret it. They say sex is here. ”

“ Animal mothers forget and ignore their progeny as soon as they are weaned; and animal fathers will, in many cases, kill them as soon as they are born, if they get a chance to do so. These facts prove that parenthood, in the human family, is something much more than in the rest of the animal kingdom. Indeed, the whole matter of comparing this quality, as it exists in humanity, with that of animals merely, is only a continuance of the similar abomination of comparing the sex functions of these two forms of life. In the real essentials of existence, they are in no way comparable ”

“ The wife or the husband feels that there is no longer any need of wooing each other. All of which leads to woe, woe, woe! The wife should keep her whole body so sweet and clean that her husband can kiss her from top to toe, if he wants to—and the chances are that he will want to, if she so keeps herself! ”

“ Let the husband keep his head, and THE WIFE UTTERLY LOSE HERS, throwing it to the winds, to be wholly swept away by the whirlwind of her passion; feeling free, delighting, to let it go, go, go, no one cares where! ”

“ As well reason that animals never eat cooked food, and so men ought never to eat cooked food (and there are some people who do so reason, strange to say) or that animals do not wear clothes, and so men ought not to wear clothes—as well make these, or a score more of comparisons, between the human race and mere animals, as to try to compare them in the item of their sex functions.
In only the single fact that, on the physical plane merely, coitus for the purpose of procreation is common to all animal life, mankind included, is there a point of comparison between humanity and the brute creation. ”

“ This is especially true of men, and the practice has been carried to such length that the right of a man to engage in coitus with his wife has been established by law, and the wife who refuses to yield this "right" to her husband can be divorced by him, if she persists in such way of living! It is such a fact as this which caused Mr. Bernard Shaw to write: "Marriage is the most licentious institution in all the world." And he might rightfully have added "it is also the most brutal," though it is an insult to the brute to say it that way, for brutes are never guilty of coitus under compulsion. ”

“ Fundamentally, then, nearly all men and women marry with the purpose and hope of having a family of children. They may not put it that way, may not even acknowledge it, even to each other or to themselves; but if married people find that they cannot produce, it is a source of unspeakable regret to them both. In such cases, the inherent desire for parenthood will "cry aloud and spare not." A "barren" woman greatly mourns her inability, and will shed bitter tears over the fact, if she be truly human; and an "impotent" man will be practically despised by all who are aware of his incompetence. ”

“ But if it ever does become different, knowledge has got to take the place of "innocence" on the part of the bride, and of ignorance on the part of the bridegroom, both of whom must be taught to "Know what they are about" before they engage in the sexual act, and be able to meet each other sanely, righteously, lovingly, because they both desire what each has to give to the other; in a way in which neither claims any rights, or makes any demands of the other—in a word, in perfect concord of agreement and action, of which mutual love is the inspirer, and definite knowledge the directive agent. ”

“ If the husband is in haste, if he does not wait for the wife to become ready to meet him; if he forces his large, hard penis into the vagina before either is fully ready for such union—when there is no prostatic fluid on its glans, and the vagina is shrunken and its walls are dry—if coitus is engaged in in this way, it is perfectly easy to see that only disaster can result! The woman is hurt, sometimes most cruelly, and the man in reality gets only a beastly gratification from the act. Of all bad things in all the world, such manner of coition is the worst! ”

“ It is neither wise nor right that the essential matters of human life should always remain a stumbling block and a rock of offense for the children of men. We are coming to see that sex is no more unclean and to be denied a scientific knowledge of, than any other part of the human body—the eye, the ear or whatsoever. ”

“ And so the people stumble along in ignorance of these vital affairs in life, generation after generation, repeating the errors of their predecessors, and no positive progress being made as the years go by. Because of this state of affairs millions of human beings die every generation, and other millions suffer the tortures of the damned while they live, when they should enjoy the delights of the elect, and would do so if they only knew the actual facts in the case, and would act in accordance with the knowledge that ought to be made theirs. ”

“ Ideals that have touched heaven are tumbled from their lofty places and ruthlessly crushed to atoms; hopes that were beyond the power of words to express go out in despair; dreams become a hideous nightmare; and love, which was as pure as crystal waters, is muddied, befouled, and made into a cesspool! And all this because of ignorance or careless hurrying, of making haste where the utmost of time, caution and intelligent care should have obtained! ”

“ Not once in a thousand times does he deliberately purpose to do wrong. He is simply the victim of undirected and ungoverned passion, and of an ignorance which results in stupid blundering, or carelessness, or thoughtlessness. What such a husband practically does is to rush blindly and furiously along a way he knows nothing of, but which he has been led to think he has a right to travel when and how he will! ”

“ It is right for people who never can have children to marry, and to share with each other mutual sex delights. It is far better for a husband and wife, having learned the Art of Love, to have children—and a home. ”

“ Nature has made wise provision for taking care of all the semen that remains in the vagina. Let the parts alone, and they will cleanse and care for themselves.
Such, then, is a somewhat extended review of the act of coitus at its best estate, and in a general way. Its perfect accomplishment is an art to be cultivated, and one in which expertness can only be attained by wise observation, careful study of all the factors involved, and a loving adaptation of the bodies, minds and souls of both the parties to the act. It is no mere animal function. ”

“ In common with nearly all members of our profession who are engaged in the general practice of medicine, I have had numbers of married men and women, husbands and wives, patients and otherwise, who have come to me for counsel and advice regarding matters which pertain to their sex-life, as that problem presented itself to them personally. As we all know, many of the most serious and complicated cases we have to deal with have their origins in these delicate relations which so often exist among wedded people, of all classes and varieties. ”

“ In this position, the act may be engaged in, during pregnancy, as often as mutually desired, to the benefit of both parties.
Many pregnant women are more than usually passionate during the period of gestation. This is especially the case when the wife is happy in her condition, when she rejoices with exceeding great joy that she is on the way to experience the divine crown of wifehood—maternity! When such a woman desires her husband in love's embrace, it is cruel to deprive her of her longed-for delight. ”

“ The question is sometimes asked as to how late in life the sex organs can function pleasurably and wholesomely for the parties concerned. And here, as elsewhere, the reply can only be that it all depends on the individual. But this is true, that, as a rule, the status of the individual during the years of active life will persist, even to old age, if the sex-functions are used and not abused. There is no function of the body, however, which will "go to pieces" quicker, and ever after be a wreck, as will the sex organs, if they are not treated rightly. ”

“ Now there are some women who are called "anesthetic," that is, they have no sex-passion, though the sex parts may be normal. Many physicians declare that as high as forty per cent of the women who are reared in modern social life are thus lacking. These women engage in coitus, though they get no pleasure from the act. They never reach the orgasm, and have no sensation of delight from the act; they seldom secrete the pre-coital fluid, and hence the union of the organs, or their motion, are never easy or pleasurable. They can become mothers, and often such bear many children. ”

“ Usually these voices have fallen on unheeding ears; but again and again some delver in books, some student of men, some inspired, self-effacing, or altruistic one has taken up the cry; and at last unthinking, unheeding, superficial, self-satisfied humanity has turned to listen.
Aristotle by the sure inductive method learned and taught much, concerning the sex relations of men and women, that it would profit us today to heed. Balzac, Luther, Michelet, Spencer, and later, at our very doors, Krafft-Ebbing, Forel, Bloch, Ellis, Freud, Hall, and scores of others have added their voices. ”

“ It is the source of numberless human joys, and any method of engaging in the act of mutual delight, that is, of mutually happifying, is legitimate and altogether right. And so, if the parties choose to increase their mutual delight, if the husband wishes to arouse and intensify his wife's passion by stroking her vulva with his saliva-moistened fingers, and she wishes him to do so, such act is as right and as wholesome as is coitus in the by-some-supposed-to-be only way of its exercise. ”

“ If the parties get tired, or sleepy, part the organs, kiss good-night, and go to sleep. Although it is not at all uncommon for such lovers, who have fully learned this art, to go to sleep thus, in each other's arms, their sex organs united; and, in this position, have the organs detumesce, the penis grow limp and slip out of the vagina of its own accord, while the vagina also grows small and the clitoris subsides. This experience is most delightful and if once experienced, once well mastered by the husband and wife, it will continually grow in favor, to their mutual benefit. ”

“ These records, and all like them, lead to the remark that marriage confers no rights, to either the bride or the bridegroom, in the highest meaning of the word. So far as its outward and formal observance is concerned, marriage is merely a sort of protection for society which has grown up through the years, and which is probably for the best, for the present, things being as they are. But it should be well understood that it can never lead to true happiness if it is viewed and utilized merely on its legal and formal side. True marriage is based on mutual love ”

“ Sometimes, during the five days of menstruation, during which time the union of the organs is deemed not best, the wife can thus help her lover with her hand, to their delight and benefit. Let love direct the way here, and all will be well.
And here is a curious fact: The hand of the opposite sex will produce effects on the genitals of the other which will not be produced in any other way. Thus, a man may hold his penis in his own hand for a given length of time, longer or shorter, and no result will be effected, no secretion of prostate fluid be made, at all. ”

“ The body is only for a little while. The soul is forever. But why is that little while not as holy as forever? They don't say. They cavalierly settle the case of the body against itself.
So it goes. Endless vivid portrayals could be made of the anomalous situation. The more you look at the mess we've got sex into the worse it seems. Someone's got to peach. Someone's got to tell the truth. In a world of liars who are hushers? In a world of hushers who are liars? Someone's got to tell the truth. Someone's got to give sex its due. You can't give spirit its due until you give sex its due. ”