James Nelson

“ Without Vanity I can say it, no one has a more disinterested, a more general Love of human Nature than myself; thousands have superior Abilities, but few, perhaps none, have superior good Wishes for the Happiness of Society; and should this very Performance prove a Trifle, the Fault may be in my Head, but it is not in my Heart: my Intention is good, if my Power is weak. Let this then serve as an Apology to all my Readers, but let those of this Class in particular be persuaded, that my Design is to augment the Happiness of their Children, not to lessen it. ”

“ Upon the Whole, as a Friend to Mankind, independent of any private Interest, as one who aims at the Benefit of Society, and wishes to preserve the rising Generation, I cannot but advise Parents to be tender, circumspect, and judicious, in so important a Matter as their Children’s Health. When they are well, let them use every prudent Means to keep them so; if they are ill, let them ask good Advice; by which Means they will often save their Children’s Lives: and even where a Miscarriage happens, their Prudence and Justice will be attended with this Consolation, that they have done their best. ”

“ How dreadful are those Friendships, how preposterous that Silence, where a young Gentleman sees his Companion, his Fellow-Clerk, levelling at the Destruction of an innocent Girl, and not have the Soul to declare the guilty Design till too late? Or, finally, where is the Sense, the Good-Nature, or the Justice of her who sees a Brother taking fatal Steps, about to injure another’s Virtue, or marry a Beggar, or ruin himself, and, as far as he has Power, his Parents too, without once striking at the Root, by discovering his vicious Intentions and Practices? ”

“ But whence the Cause of this strange Misconduct and Omission? It springs, as I take it, from Ignorance, or Inconsiderateness, or Partiality, or Passion, or from all together; but the most frequently of any, from false Tenderness, and blind Indulgence.
Every Man has his own way of judging, and generally abides by it right or wrong. I knew a Gentleman of refined Understanding, who frequently forfeited it, by a boundless injudicious Fondness for his Children. ”

“ There are no People in the World, whom I at the same time both honour and pity, so much as Schoolmasters and Preceptors; those particularly to whom we owe the most essential, the most solid Part of our Education. There is something strangely inconsistent in Mankind, or they could not see a Master incessantly slave, and toil, and sweat to instruct others, and leave him at last without Reward. The Man who is qualified for a Teacher, must have laboured many Years in the Pursuit of Knowledge. ”

“ Nor is an unreasonable Compliance with the Humours of Children what Parents take it for; they falsely think it Tenderness and Love; but far from it; it is Love degenerated into Weakness and Folly. But it is easy to soften this seeming Rigour in the Behaviour of Parents, by their addressing the Understandings of Children at other Intervals, supposing it to be open. What more natural and reasonable than to say to a Child, You know, my Dear, all good Children do as they are bid; all Children to become wise must go to School; you would not surely be rank’d among bad Children by being disobedient? ”

“ May we not then hope, that an Endeavour to point out the Way to Health, Manners, and Education, will help us in the Pursuit of this great Object? For these rightly understood and well conducted, Peace and Competence will seldom fail to follow.
Manners however is the grand Point I aim at; every thing else is secondary to that. Health, it may not be in our Power to secure; and School Education, all cannot reach to in any considerable Degree. The Government of our Children is indeed an universal Obligation; but all Men are not therefore obliged to be Physicians or Pedagogues. ”

“ What Miseries may we not fear? Alas! too soon are we convinc’d that her whole Soul is absorb’d in Pleasures; her Head runs round with them; she is continually contriving, plotting, scheming; and all Opposition of her Parents becomes too weak: she has not, perhaps, a Spark of real Duty, nor the least Sense of her misguided Steps: and happy is it for her if her mistaken Conduct does not in the End plunge her into Sorrow too great to support. Happy is it for her if the Stream of Pleasure she is borne down with does not insensibly carry away her Honour and Virtue ”

“ Still this does not justify those Parents who submit to no Rules at all. I have said before, that all Laws give Parents the sole Power of governing their Children; I may also maintain that the same Laws oblige them to do every thing to promote their Welfare. Those who are unacquainted with the Duty of a Parent, must learn; those who know, must practice. Let this Admonition then rouse the Attention of Parents; and let these Precepts serve as the Foundation, whereon to build the solid Health of their Children. The Constitution is like the Countenance, somewhat different in every one ”

“ Nothing is more evident, than that a Love of our Children is a great ruling Principle in human Nature; and that it makes a large Part of that Self-love which sticks so closely to us. For them we aim at Wealth, Power, and Dignity; for them our Views are endless, our Desires boundless. Nor do we stop here; for, eager as we are in pursuing the real or seeming Good of our Children, we extend our Views still farther, even to their Children. ”

“ It is certain, that rewarding the good, and punishing the bad, is both a Virtue, and a Duty; yet at the same time that I acknowledge how much the good Child deserves, I cannot resolve to abandon the bad: the Voice of Nature and Reason cry out loudly against it. I will for once suppose Parents entirely divested of Partiality, [192] and that the Difference is really in the Children, and not in themselves. Are they sure there are no Faults in their Education? Are they conscious that they have not exposed them to be corrupted by others, tho’ they have not done it themselves? ”

“ Diseases are one Part of the Portion of human Nature, in a State of Mortality: no Stage of our Existence is exempt from them, and Childhood as little as any. Let then an unmanag’d, humour’d, pamper’d Child be sick; and besides the Abundance of otherwise unnecessary Trouble and Affliction it brings on the Parents and the whole Family, what Danger is not the Child itself exposed to, beyond what the Disease brings with it!
All wise Men agree, that Providence has furnished the World with Remedies for most human Diseases, at least in their first Stages, and Men with Knowledge to apply them. ”

“ Where then is the Wonder that Parents are disappointed? Life and Health depend on proper Food and other judicious Management on one part; and if sick, an Obedience to Remedies on the other part; and Happiness essentially depends in the first place on Health; in the next, on the due Government of our Senses, Affections and Passions. See here how Mankind deviate from themselves; how far they depart from their own Principles. But what then is the Remedy? nothing more obvious. Let Parents exercise their Reason in all the Steps they take for their Children’s Welfare ”

“ But while this Part of Education is justly commended as conducive to Health, and pleasing to behold, what shall we say of those, who under the Appearance of increasing their Beauty destroy it; and who, while aiming at Health, often deprive themselves of Life. I have shewn that bodily Defects are more or less the Lot of all Mankind; but where Judgment free from Error can rectify them, we have Power to do it. If we can find a Cure for Diseases born with us, we certainly may and ought; if we can increase our Strength, and add Graces to Nature, we undoubtedly should ”

“ Yet Oh! my Son, let not these Reflections be made in vain; but draw Profit from others Crimes: examine them in their true Light; be not misled by those who palliate the blackest Actions with the specious Names of Wit, and Love, and Gallantry; but live in a Resolution never to share in their Guilt; never to injure another in the least Degree; but above all resolve to suffer a thousand Evils, to sacrifice every Passion, rather than even stain, much less destroy, the Flower of Innocence. ”

“ An Apothecary’s Education is not so deep, nor his Application to Study usually so close, as the Physician’s: yet as Genius is not confined to the Physician, but is by Nature as capable of residing in the Apothecary; some Degree of Learning, an Acquaintance with proper Books, which are equally open to both, and constant Observation on Diseases, will certainly furnish him with a considerable Stock of useful Knowledge. Experience is the Mother of Wisdom. ”

“ How comes it that the most sprightly talkative Child cannot be prevailed on to shew its Tongue to the Doctor, yet the Moment his Back is turn’d he will loll it out twenty times? The Reason is plain; Parents do not teach their Children to obey. Instead of Compulsion or Reason, they use Flattery, Bribes and Deceit: but I am practically convinced that all this, however common, is wrong: and indeed where Obedience is not insisted on, and made a first Rule of Action, few things can be right. As Medicines are generally nauseous, a Repugnance to take them is as natural as shrinking at Pain ”

“ Parents desire their Children’s Happiness, (I say nothing of those Monsters who neither feel nor act the Parent’s Part) but how do they attempt to reach it? certainly in a Path the most remote from it. No sooner have Children a Place on the great Stage of the World, but their Will is irregularly cherished; before they know where [209] they are, or know to what End they have a Being, their tender Minds are impressed with Principles as opposite to Happiness as Light to Darkness. Who first awakens in them a Spirit of Resentment and fierce Revenge, even before they can speak? ”

“ Dress, in the common Acceptation of the Word, is not my Province; those People whose Business it is to promote it, know that the World is fickle and inconstant; they know that Men will change, even though it be for the worse, purely from a Love of Novelty: therefore is it that at one Time a Man has his Hips almost up to his Arm-pits, another Time he must stoop to get his Hand into his Coat Pocket; therefore is it that one Year a Woman is (at the Will of the Stay-maker) to be short-waisted, another Year long-waisted; with many more Absurdities, that ought at least to be laughed at. ”

“ As we have observed, that uncommon Genius is not to be always expected, and as we have shewn, that general good Capacity seldom is wanting; nothing more remains but to learn what Employment will suit our Sons Temper and Inclinations, and then compleat their Education accordingly. For surely it is wrong to insist on a Boy’s applying to the Law, when the Delight of his Soul is the Study of Physic and the Knowledge of Nature. ”

“ And yet these Nostrum-Mongers, with unparalell’d Boldness, often attempt to conquer all Diseases with one Arcanum, one pretended Remedy. Who that hears these Boasters, or that reads their printed Accounts, but must discover many Absurdities on the very Face of them. The Man that promises what is repugnant to common Sense, argues himself either a Knave or a Fool; and yet People are often so little attentive, or so regardless of Health, that they do not discover their Error, ’till it is sometimes too late to remedy it. ”

“ As Men are sometimes seen to forget the Husband and act the Sovereign only, so are they apt to think themselves supreme and independent in the Power they have over their Children. But can we, upon Reflection, take it to be the Intention of Nature, that Children be govern’d by Fathers alone, while they are in Possession of the Blessing of having Mothers to share a Part in that Government? Or can we consider paternal Sway as an arbitrary Power, absolutely presiding over, and giving Laws to Children without any Controul? ”

“ Those who beat the Floor, the Chair, the Table, or whatever little Master has heedlessly run against, and hurt himself with. Who first inflames their Vanity, by kindling in them Self-admiration, and a Passion for Dress? Those who set out with teaching Miss to admire herself only because she is fine. Who is it raises in them a Thirst of Gain, an early, and a sordid Love of Money? Those who give a mean Reward the Preference to Virtue; or who, by direct or oblique Insinuations, persuade them that there is no Happiness but in Riches. ”

“ Their Wit, their Cunning, or their Knowledge, often serve but to mislead them; serve but to strengthen the natural Corruption of their Will. What is more common than for a Child to make no Answer when ask’d a Question? Or what more common than for another, or perhaps the same in a different Mood, to tire a whole Company with incessant Prating? Now nothing can regulate these but the Judgment of Parents; the whole Machine, that is, the Words and Actions of Children, are to be under their Guidance alone: to this End, they must set out with a Resolution to conquer ”

“ Human Nature (as daily Experience shews us) is, in the general, alike in all, from the Prince to the Peasant: the same Weaknesses attend us; the same Passions torment us; the same Diseases kill us: all are the Work of one great Artist! all are born for the same great End! The Gifts of Fortune indeed are innumerably different; [275] the Advantages of Education very many; and as a Train of Vices corrupts our Manners, so a Succession of Virtues may be said to enoble our Birth and purify our Blood. ”

“ Parents are not aware how destructive this false Pride, this vain mistaken Fondness is to their Children: and the first Effect it has on them is, to make them ashamed of their Parents, those very People who thus mislead them. Can any thing be more preposterous and unnatural? yet is it undeniably true.
There is an unhappy Propensity among Mankind in general of being ashamed of their poor and mean Relations, even among the Good; it is a Spark of Pride very hard to be extinguished, yet it may and ought to be done. ”