John Marston

“ I must be a lady, and I will be a lady. I like some humours of the city-dames well: to eat cherries [22] only at an angel a pound, good; to dye rich scarlet, black, pretty; to line a grogram gown clean thorough with velvet, tolerable; their pure linen, their smocks of three pounds a smock, are to be borne withal. But your mincing niceries, taffeta pipkins, durance [23] petticoats, and silver bodkins—God’s my life, as I shall be a lady, I cannot endure it! Is he come yet? Lord, what a long knight ’tis! ”

“ What, sir, my speeches were ever in vain to your gracious worship; and therefore, till I speak to you gallantry indeed, I will save my breath for my broth anon. Come, my poor son and daughter, let us hide ourselves in our poor humility, and live safe. Ambition consumes itself with the very show. Work upon that now.
Ge. Let him go, let him go, for God’s sake! let him make his prentice his son, for God’s sake! give away his daughter, for God’s sake! and when they come a-begging to us for God’s sake, let’s laugh at their good husbandry for God’s sake. ”

“ The Paradox of it is, that if it be hanged on the top of our Maypole, it draws to us all the young lads and lasses near adjoining, without power to part till we strike sail ourselves. And now I have named our Maypole, go bring it forth, though it be more cumbersome than the Trojan horse: bring it by force of arms, and see you fix it fast in the midst of this place, lest, when you encircle it with your capricious dances, it falls from the foundation, lights upon some lady’s head, and cuffs off her perriwig. But now for the glory of Athens! ”

“ Exit Quicksilver.
To. This is for my credit! servants ever maintain drunkenness in their master’s house for their master’s credit; a good idle serving-man’s reason. I thank time the night is past; I ne’er waked to such cost; I think we have stowed more sorts of flesh in our bellies than ever Noah’s ark received; and for wine, why my house turns giddy with it, and more noise in it than at a conduit. Ay me! even beasts condemn our gluttony. Well, ’tis our city’s fault, which, because we commit seldom, we commit the more sinfully; we lose no time in our sensuality, but we make amends for it. ”

“ Nay, hark you, sir; what nurses, what midwives, what fools, what physicians, what cunning women must be sought for (fearing sometimes she is bewitched, sometimes in a consumption) , to tell her tales, to talk bawdy to her, to make her laugh, to give her glisters, to let her blood under the tongue and betwixt the toes; how she will revile and kiss you, spit in your face, and lick it off again; how she will vaunt you are her creature; she made you of nothing; how she could have had thousand mark jointures; she could have been made a lady by a Scotch knight, and never ha’ married him ”

“ Lady, think bold intrusion courtesy;
’Tis but imagination alters them;
Then ’tis your thoughts, not I, that do offend.
Isa. Sir, your intrusion yet ’s but courtesy,
Unless your future humour alter it.
Sago. Why then, divinest woman, know my soul
Is dedicated to thy shrine of beauty, 70
To pray for mercy, and repent the wrongs
Done against love and female purity.
Thou abstract, drawn from nature’s empty storehouse,
I am thy slave; command my sword, my heart;
The soul is tried best by the body’s smart. ”

“ Seven-score pound art thou out in the cash; but look to it, I will not be gallanted out of my moneys. And as for my rising by other men’s fall, God shield me! did I gain my wealth by ordinaries? no: by exchanging of gold? no: by keeping of gallants’ company? no. I hired me a little shop, fought low, took small gain, kept no debt-book, garnished my shop, for want of plate, with good wholesome thrifty sentences; as, “Touchstone, keep thy shop, and thy shop will keep thee;” “Light gains makes heavy purses;” “’Tis good to be merry and wise.” ”

“ And let me meet thee there on Latmus’ top. 20
’Tis I, whose virtuous hopes are firmly fix’d
On the fruition of thy chaste vow’d love.
Lady Len. My lord,
Your honour made me promise you ascent
Into my house, since my vow barr’d my doors,
By some wit’s engine made for theft and lust;
Yet for your honour, and my humble fame,
Check your blood’s passions, and return, dear lord.
Suspicion is a dog that still doth bite
Without a cause: this act gives food to envy; 30
Swoll’n big, it bursts, and poisons our clear flames.
Men. Envy is stingless when she looks on thee. ”

“ Ay, marry sir; there’s a youth of another piece. There’s thy fellow-prentice, as good a gentleman born as thou art: nay, and better meaned. But does he pump it, or racket it? Well, if he thrive not, if he outlast not a hundred such crackling bavins as thou art, God and men neglect industry. ”

“ Would any woman but I be abused to her face? Prithee read the contents. Know’st thou the character?
Abi. ’Tis my husband’s hand, and a love-letter; but for the contents I find none in it. Has the lustful monster, all back and belly, starved me thus? What defect does he see in me? I’ll be sworn, wench, I am of as pliant and yielding a body to him, e’en which way he will—he may turn me as he list himself. What? and dedicate to thee! Ay, marry, here’s a stile so high as a man cannot help a dog o’er it. He was wont to write to me in the city-phrase, My good Abigail. ”

“ So far is she ill-natured to the place and means of my preferment and fortune, that she throws all the contempt and despite hatred itself can cast upon it. Well, a piece of land she has; ’twas her grandmother’s gift; let her, and her Sir Petronel, flash out that; but as for my substance, she that scorns me, as I am a citizen and tradesman, shall never pamper her pride with my industry; shall never use me as men do foxes, keep themselves warm in the skin, and throw the body that bare it to the dunghill. ”

“ So a woman marry to ride in a coach, she cares not if she ride to her ruin. ’Tis the great end of many of their marriages. This is not the first time a lady has rid a false journey in her coach, I hope.
Pe. Nay, ’tis no matter, I care little what they think; he that weighs men’s thoughts has his hands full of nothing. A man, in the course of this world, should be like a surgeon’s instrument—work in the wounds of others, and feel nothing himself. The sharper and subtler, the better. ”

“ Ha, Golding! I commend thee, I approve thee, and will make it appear my affection is strong to thee. My wife has her humour, and I will ha’ mine. Dost thou see my daughter here? She is not fair, well-favoured or so indifferent, which modest measure of beauty shall not make it thy only work to watch her, nor sufficient mischance to suspect her. ”

“ And for my part, I would a hundred thousand of ’hem were there, for we are all one countrymen now, ye know, and we should find ten times more comfort of them there than we do here. Then for your means to advancement, there it is simple, and not preposterously mixed. You may be an alderman there, and never be scavenger: you may be a nobleman, and never be a slave. You may come to preferment enough, and never be a pander; to riches and fortune enough, and have never the more villainy nor the less wit. ”

“ The nice fondling, my lady, sir-reverence, that I must not now presume to call daughter, is so ravished with desire to hansell her new coach, and see her knight’s Eastward Castle, that the next morning will sweat with her busy setting forth. Away will she and her mother, and while their preparation is making, ourselves, with some two or three other friends, will consummate the humble match we have in God’s name concluded. ’Tis to my wish, for I have often read,
Fit birth, fit age, keeps long a quiet bed. ”

“ I will not deny there is a seemly decorum to be observed, and a peculiar kind of speech for a satire’s lips, which I can willinglier conceive than dare to prescribe; yet let me have the substance rough, not the shadow. I cannot, nay, I will not delude your sight with mists; yet I dare defend my plainness against the verjuice-face of the crabbed’st satirist that ever stuttered. He that thinks worse of my rhymes than myself, I scorn him, for he cannot: he that thinks better, is a fool. So favour me, Good Opinion, as I am far from being a Suffenus. ”

“ Go. You see, Master Wolf, how inexorable he is. There is no hope to recover him. Pray you commend me to my brother knight, and to my fellow Francis; present ’hem with this small token of my love; tell ’hem, I wish I could do ’hem any worthier office; but in this, ’tis desperate: yet I will not fail to try the uttermost of my power for ’hem. And, sir, as far as I have any credit with you, pray you let ’hem want nothing; though I am not ambitious they should know so much. 87
Wo. Sir, both your actions and words speak you to be a true gentleman. They shall know only what is fit, and no more. ”

“ They’ll look out at a window, as thou ridest in triumph to Tyburn, and cry, “Yonder goes honest Frank, mad Quicksilver!” “He was a free boon companion, when he had money,” says one; “Hang him, fool!” says another; “he could not keep it when he had it!” “A pox o’ th’ cullion, his master,” says a third, “he has brought him to this;” when their pox of pleasure, and their piles of perdition, would have been better bestowed upon thee, that hast ventured for ’hem with the best, and by the clue of thy knavery brought thyself weeping to the cart of calamity. ”

“ And therefore I do desire your ladyship, my good Lady Flash, in all humility, to depart my obscure cottage, and return in quest of your bright and most transparent castle, however presently concealed to mortal eyes. And as for one poor woman of your train here, I will take that order, she shall no longer be a charge unto you, nor help to spend your ladyship; she shall stay at home with me, and not go abroad, nor put you to the pawning of an odd coach-horse or three wheels, but take part with the Touchstone. If we lack, we will not complain to your ladyship. ”

“ Sound, spheres, spread your harmonious breath,
When mortals shine in worth gods grace the earth.
The clouds descend: while soft music soundeth, Cynthia and Ariadne dismount from their clouds, and, pacing up to the ladies, Cynthia, perceiving Ariadne wanting her crown of stars, speaks thus:—
Cynth. But where is Ariadne’s wreath of stars,
Her eight pure fires that stud with golden bars
Her shining brows? hath sweet-tongued Mercury
Advanced his sons to station of the sky
And throned them in thy wreath? [or] dost thou leave
Thy splendour off and trust of gods deceive? ”

“ I like this well, yet; there’s some grace i’ the knight left—he cries.
Go. Francis Quicksilver, would God thou hadst turned quacksalver, rather than run into these dissolute and lewd courses! It is great pity; thou art a proper young man, of an honest and clean face, somewhat near a good one; God hath done his part in thee; but thou hast made too much, and been too proud of that face, with the rest of thy body; for maintenance of which in neat and garish attire, only to be looked upon by some light housewives, thou hast prodigally consumed much of thy master’s estate ”

“ I have heard of a mad fellow that styles himself a merry Greek, and goes abroad by the name of Paradox, who with frisking and dancing, and new broached doctrine, hath stolen himself, this Festival time of Christmas, into favour at the Court of Purple, and having there got some approbation for his small performance, is grown so audacious as to intrude himself into this honoured presence. ”

“ Ha, sirrah! thinks my knight adventurer we can no point of our compass? Do we not know nor-north-east, north-east-and-by-east, east-and-by-north? nor plain eastward? Ha! have we never heard of Virginia? nor the Cavallaria? nor the Colonoria? Can we discover no discoveries? Well, mine errant Sir Flash, and my runagate Quicksilver, you may drink drunk, [79] crack cans, hurl away a brown dozen of Monmouth caps [80] or so, in sea ceremony to your bon voyage; but for reaching any coast, save the coast of Kent or Essex, with this tide, or with this fleet, I’ll be your warrant for a Gravesend toast. ”

“ He cannot be a Cuckold that wears a Gregorian, for a perriwig will never fit such a head.
2. A Knight of the long robe is more honourable than a Knight made in the field; for furs are dearer than spurs.
3. ’Tis better to be a coward than a Captain; for a goose lives longer than a cock of the game.
4. A Cannibal is the lovingest man to his enemy; for willingly no man eats that he loves not.
5. A Bachelor is but half a man, and being wed, he may prove more than half a monster; for Aries and Taurus rule the head and shoulders, and Capricorn reacheth as low as the knees. ”

“ Superior to the first, fair, thou shalt see
As unto heaven my love, so unto thee!
Isa. Alas!
Poor creatures, when we are once o’ the falling hand,
A man may easily come over us. 90
It is as hard for us to hide our love
As to shut sin from the Creator’s eyes.
I’faith, my lord, I had a month’s mind [137] unto you,
As tedious as a full-riped [138] maiden-head;
And, Count of Cyprus, think my love as pure
As the first opening of the blooms in May:
(You’re virtuous, man; [139] nay, let me not blush to say so:)
And see for your sake thus I leave to sorrow. ”

“ Mock not repentance. Profanation
Brings mortals laughing to damnation.
Believe it, lord, Isabella’s ill-pass’d life,
Like gold refined, shall make a perfect wife.
I stand on firm ground now, before on ice;
We know not virtue till we taste of vice. 140
Mass. ”