Mary Ware Dennett

“ Without the sex act, no babies could be created, for it is by this means only that the semen which contains the male part of the germ of life can meet the ovum or the female part of the germ of life. When the two parts come together in the woman's body under just the right conditions, a baby begins to grow—at first so tiny that it could hardly be seen without a microscope, and finally, after nine months' growth in the uterus or womb of the mother till it weighs about seven or eight pounds, it is born, a live human being. ”

“ Human life, in many respects, is like plant and animal life, but in many ways it is entirely different, and the ways in which it is different are almost more important for us to think about than the ways in which it is similar. ”

“ We have contented ourselves by assuming that marriage makes sex relations respectable. We have not yet said that it is only beautiful sex relations that can make marriage lovely.
Young people are just as capable of being guided and inspired in their thought about sex emotion as in their taste and ideals in literature and ethics, and just as they imperatively need to have their general taste and ideals cultivated as a preparation for mature life, so do they need to have some understanding of the marvelous place which sex emotion has in life. ”

“ It is not fair to ourselves or to each other to do a single thing that will make us either weak or unnatural. Remember that your sex organs have a very powerful, even if invisible, effect upon your whole being, and up to the time that you are really old enough to love some one to whom you want to actually belong, you must let your sex machinery grow strong and ready for its good, happy work when the right time comes. The sex organs during your youth do not need frequent exercise in the same sense that your muscles do. ”

“ The sex attraction is the strongest feeling that human beings know, and unlike the animals, it is far more than a mere sensation of the body. It takes in the emotions and the mind and the soul, and that is why our happiness is so dependent upon it. ”

“ The penis and the vagina are about the same size, as Nature intended them to fit each other. By a rhythmic movement of the penis in and out, the sex act reaches an exciting climax or orgasm, when there is for the woman a peculiarly satisfying contraction of the muscles of the passage and for the man, the expulsion of the semen, the liquid which contains the germs of life. This is followed by a sensation of peaceful happiness and sleepy relaxation. It is the very greatest physical pleasure to be had in all human experience, and it helps very much to increase all other kinds of pleasure also. ”

“ It is true that one's sex relations are the most personal and private matters in the world, and they belong just to us and to no one else, but while we may be shy and reserved about them, we are not ashamed. ”

“ We do not like to have to connect in our thought anything so sweet and nice as a baby or so happy and precious as the sex embrace with the waste of our bodies, which we want to be rid of with as little thought as possible, as it is disagreeable at best, and we wonder why we were created this way. But we have to remember that the sex organs are very delicate and they are probably placed where they can best be protected from injury. ”

“ Now we come to human beings, and see how different they are! They have no regular mating season, and while there is a certain amount of instinct in men and women [Pg 8] which tends to bring them together, the sex impulse among highly developed people is far more the result of their feeling of love for each other than mere animal instinct alone. Many of the animals make no choice at all in their mating. Any near-by female will do for the male. But among some of the higher animals the male has a special instinct for a certain female, and the female will not tolerate any but a certain male. ”

“ And I will tell you to start out with that there is a great deal that nobody knows yet, in spite of the fact that the human race has been struggling thousands of years to learn.
Life itself is still a mystery, especially human life. ”

“ Most of the animals have different mates every season, though there are a few kinds where the male and female, once having mated, remain mates for years, sometimes even for life. But it is only human beings whose mating is what we call “falling in love,” and that is an experience far beyond anything that the animals know.
It means that a man and a woman feel that they belong to each other in a way that they belong to no one else; it makes them wonderfully happy to be together ”

“ Looking at Plate 2, you will see the man's sex machinery. The testicles are to a man what the ovaries are to a woman. They are two sacs held in a bag of rather thin loose skin called the scrotum, and it is here that the sperm (spermatozoa) or germ of life grows. Just how no one really knows. The spermatozoa are very tiny and the testicles hold many thousands of them. Under the microscope they show a sort of head and tail like a pollywog. They are very much alive and move by a rapid wiggling of the tail part. ”

“ There is a constant internal secretion from the testicles of a man just as from the ovaries of a woman, and it has the same beneficial effect on the whole being. It makes a boy what we call manly or virile. The value of the internal secretions of the sex organs in both boys and girls is so great that for that reason, if for no other, the whole sex machinery must be kept in perfect health. ”

“ Only such an understanding can be counted on to give them the self control that is born of knowledge, not fear, the reverence that will prevent premature or trivial connections, the good taste and finesse that will make their sex life when they reach maturity a vitalizing success. ”

“ Men who get diseased frequently give the infection to their wives, often causing them to be so ill that surgical operations are necessary, by which their sex organs are so crippled that they can never be mothers; and, worst of all, innocent unborn babies are infected and come into the world sick or deformed or blind.
Men often get these dreadful diseases by having sex relations [Pg 16] with women who are called prostitutes or “bad women,” that is, they are women who are not in love with any one, but who make money by selling their sex relations to men who pay for them. ”

“ We give to young folks, in their general education, as much as they can grasp of science and ethics and art, and yet in their sex education, which rightly has to do with all of these, we have said, “Give them only the bare physiological facts, lest they be prematurely stimulated.” ”

“ Boys have a certain discomfort to bear which is difficult for them just as menstruation is difficult for girls. But by knowing the meaning of things and by taking care of themselves, they need not be seriously troubled by it. Every [Pg 14] once in a while as they are growing up, but before they are old enough to really fall in love and marry and have children, boys feel a sort of stirring of the sex organs—sometimes so much so that it makes them quite uneasy and anxious for relief. The thing to do is to keep as calm as possible and keep very busy and very healthy. ”

“ Now in order to understand something of why this subject stirs us so, we must notice in what ways we human beings are different from the plants and animals. About the lowest form of life is the amoeba. It looks like a little lump of jelly, and it produces its young by merely separating itself in two. One part drifts off from the other part and each becomes a separate live being. There is no male and no female and they didn't know they were doing it. ”

“ There is no occasion for worry unless the habit is carried to excess. But remember that until you are mature, the sex secretions are specially needed within your body, and if you use them wastefully before you are grown, you are depriving your body of what it needs. So do not stimulate your sex organs into action intentionally. And do not yield to the impulse to handle the sex organs in order to relieve the pressure which may occasionally feel overwhelming, unless you find that nature does not bring you relief during sleep. ”

“ Unquestionably the stress which most writers have laid upon the beauty of nature's plans for perpetuating the plant and animal species, and the effort to have the child carry [Pg 4] over into human life some sense of that beauty has come from a most commendable instinct to protect the child from the natural shock of the revelation of so much that is unesthetic and revolting in human sex life. ”

“ The birth process is called labor, and it is indeed labor, for it usually means much pain and struggle for the mother, although the baby's journey from the uterus to the world is only a few inches. It takes anywhere from an hour to two days for a baby to be born. Doctors are learning more and more how to lessen the pain, and by [Pg 10] the end of another generation it ought to be possible for child-birth to be practically painless for most women. By that time people will more generally understand how to have babies only when they want them and can afford them. ”

“ The nearness of the sex organs to the excretory organs, the pain and messiness of childbirth are elements which certainly need some compensating antidote to prevent their making too disagreeable and disproportionate an impress on the child's mind. ”

“ When a man and a woman fall in love so that they really belong to each other, the physical side of the relation is this: both of them feel at intervals a peculiar thrill or glow, particularly in the sexual organs, and it naturally culminates after they have gone to bed at night. ”

“ When boys and girls get into their “teens,” a side of them begins to wake up which has been asleep or only partly developed ever since they were born, that is, the sex side of them. It is the most wonderful and interesting part of growing up. ”

“ You doubtless know already that the more highly developed the animal, the longer it takes the young one to grow before it is born, and the longer the period when it is helpless to provide its own food and care. ”

“ You can't help wanting to understand all about it, but somehow you find yourself a little embarrassed in asking all the questions that come into your mind, and often you don't feel quite like talking about it freely, even to your father and mother. Sometimes it is easier to talk with your best friends, because they are your own age, and are beginning to have these new feelings too. ”

“ Others of us, realizing that the bare physiological facts are shocking to many a sensitive child, and must somehow be softened with something pleasant, have said, “Give them the facts, yes, but see to it that they are so related to the wonders of evolution and the beauties of the natural world that the shock is minimized.” ”

“ The man's special sex organ or penis, becomes enlarged and stiffened, instead of soft and limp as ordinarily, and thus it easily enters the passage in the woman's body called the vagina or birth-canal, which leads to the uterus or womb, which as perhaps you already know is the sac in which the [Pg 9] egg or embryo grows into a baby. ”

“ But even if presently these venereal diseases, as they are called, can be entirely cured and prevented, prostitution will still remain a thing to hate. For the idea of sex relations between people who do not love each other, who do not feel any sense of belonging to each other, will always be revolting to highly developed, sensitive people. ”

“ These diseases are usually acquired by sex contact with a diseased person, but they can also be gotten by using public drinking cups, towels, water-closets, or in any way by which an infected moist article can come in contact with one's skin. The worst thing about these diseases is that they are such invisible enemies. After the outside appearance of the disease is gone, they often go reaching farther and farther into the body, making awful results that hang on for years. ”

“ It would be hard to think of any other part of the body that would be safer than just this place. At any rate there they are, and our duty is to understand them as best we can, and take mighty good care of them as our most wonderful possession. ”

“ In the plants a higher stage of development is reached: there is the male and the female and they join together, not by coming to each other, or because they know they belong together, but quite unconsciously, with the aid of the bees and other insects and the wind, the male part is carried to the female part—they mix, and at once the seed of a new plant begins to grow. ”

“ Here it may be met by the male life element, and if so, it becomes fertilized and remains in the uterus to grow into a baby. This is called fertilization, fecundation, impregnation or conception. But if the egg is not fertilized, [Pg 12] it passes from the uterus through the vagina and out of the body. The ovaries take turns in developing the ovum.
Every twenty-eight days or so a woman, from the time she is about thirteen or fourteen till she is about fifty, has a slight flow of blood from the uterus, which is called menstruation. ”

“ At present, unfortunately, it is against the law to give people information as to how to manage their sex relations so that no baby will be created unless the father and mother are ready and glad to have it happen. ”