Mrs. H. W. Beecher

“ As far back as we can search, the whirligig of fashion has been in perpetual motion, unceasing in its changes. The advice and admonition of age and experience have little influence towards checking this long-established tyranny. The old look sadly upon the vagaries of the young; but if they glance back to their own early days, would they not recall equal absurdities in the fashions of that period, or on a moment’s reflection, perhaps, even the dress and style to which they still pertinaciously adhere may be liable to the same criticism? ”

“ What more disagreeable and annoying than to have the vapors or odors that arise from washing or cooking pervade the whole house, giving to it the sickening smell of the lowest class boarding-houses? When seated quietly in the parlor, it comes so gradually upon one that it is hardly noticed; but step for a moment into the fresh air, and on your return you will be greatly disgusted at the fumes that half suffocate you as you open the door. This infliction can be escaped only by keeping the doors of the kitchen or hall leading from it tightly closed. ”

“ I see girls—children in years—from whose cheek the first blush of innocence, from whose soul the last vestige of youth, have vanished; women sold to frivolity; women wasting most precious gifts; women whose ambition has no higher object than to mislead and triumph over men; men growing hard, selfish, and wicked, the slaves of their passions, going down to death, with no hand to save,—all for the lack of a true home. ”

“ It is painful to glance into rooms in daily use, and see no indication that a moment’s thought has ever been bestowed upon their adornment, or to fill them with objects that, to the children’s eyes, will unite grace and beauty with usefulness for the family’s every-day life. “O, this will answer! It’s good enough just for our own family.” But look into the guest-chamber, for which enough has been expended to compel pinching in all that belongs to home and family comforts, and all for the ostentatious display of hospitality! ”

“ When we have passed through all the labors and trials of early life, and in full maturity or just on the decline pause a moment to recall the friends of our youth now gone, and the sweet family ties now broken, how the heart aches with the memory of hasty words or actions, and vainly yearns for one more opportunity for the better performance of our whole duty, in all love, fidelity, and patience! ”

“ Nowhere are selfishness, irritability, and vanity so quickly detected; nowhere are such opportunities to manifest patience, self-abnegation, and all sweet and gentle qualities, in the most forcible and attractive manner, as in this phase of social life. You may call daily, or spend weeks with people in their own homes, and never imagine that fierce ambition, weak and silly vanity, petty jealousy, or a harsh and bitter temper are smoldering where all appears so cheerful and quiet, ready to be fanned into flames by the first annoyance beyond their power to repel. ”

“ While no shadows fall or clouds obscure their sky, how pleasantly the moments pass by! Smiles and gentleness meet you at every step. To secure your comfort and pleasure is their delight; to dispense the hospitality of their homes gracefully and with a free hand does them honor; to neglect to do so would detract from the dignity of their social position, and be disgraceful. Every attention and courtesy paid to a guest reflects honor on the host, and few are so perfect that these considerations do not have some weight. ”

“ Ah! if husbands and wives would always remember that, with them, as in other associations, “union is strength”; that “united they stand, divided they fall”; that together they should walk through life, together share the joys, together bear the burdens and the crosses,—what a happy world this would be! If it is a united kingdom, the wife accepts the rough as well as the smooth of household rule, as her part of the administration. ”

“ I paint with skill and accuracy sufficient at least to amuse myself and while away such time as would otherwise drag heavily during a rainy day, and am quite skillful with my needle when I use it for fancy work; but when it comes to useful, necessary work, I am as helpless and useless as a child. Ah, if my dear parents had lavished half the money to teach me household mysteries that was expended to make me thoroughly accomplished, in the fashionable sense of that term, how happy I should now be and how bright the future would appear! ”

“ The clothes will be more injured and worn by one day’s snapping on the line, in a very high wind, than in weeks of wear; and unless one has a good, roomy attic with windows at each end to admit free air, it is wise, if not agreeable, to put the clothes in soak, after washing, in plenty of clear water, and wait for the calm, or defer the entire washing to that propitious moment.
Yet a good, brisk March wind, with an unclouded sky, has its excellences. There is no better time to put blankets, carriage-robes, and heavy winter garments out to air. ”

“ Wealth is by no means to be despised; but when it is so employed as to remove all labor from us, or to so free us from care that we do not teach our children how to make themselves serviceable, it is no blessing, and may become a curse. Those who have begun life poor, and worked their way to wealth by real hard labor, forget, when their children start up around them, how much true, solid pleasure was in their struggle for this well-earned prosperity, and as they relax their exertions and begin to feel the enervating effects of wealth, they remember only the hardship, forgetting the pleasure. ”

“ If one knows how to renovate and remodel, there is far more genuine pleasure in using the knowledge to construct new out of old, than can possibly be gained while shopping on the most extravagant scale. To walk into a store with a full purse, and buy, without stint, whatever the eye covets; to send the material to the dress-maker, and have it made and brought home without any effort on our part, is a tame enjoyment compared with contriving the dress from a scanty pattern, or from odd bits and ends. ”

“ True, there is much that is hard and disagreeable in household cares and labors; but what good thing do we possess that does not require thought, effort, and often unpleasant labor before we come into the full possession and enjoyment of it? Under any self-denial or hardship experienced in the performance of duty, there is a great comfort in the knowledge that, the work being once mastered and made familiar, any thought of drudgery connected with it disappears; and in the happy consciousness of independence and power over difficulties one finds great pleasure and full compensation. ”

“ O, the money, time, and strength given to destroy, by the absurdities of fashionable dress, every vestige of beauty and grace which God gave you in your little ones! Take the week through, hour by hour, do you not give more time and thought to your own and your children’s dress than you can spare for your Master’s service? Do not your children gather from your daily walk and conversation that to be fashionably dressed is of more importance than loving and serving the Saviour, who died for them and you? ”

“ But the little one thrives, has reached and passed all the points of deep interest which once before the mother watched with such pride. Now it begins to lisp her name, and shortly its cunning prattle is the theme of constant thought and conversation. When she rises in the morning,—at the table, by the fireside,—it is again and again repeated, a many-times-told tale, but always fresh, always new and beautiful. The mother has nothing else with which to entertain the friends who call, and truly believes that nothing could be told so new or so pleasing. ”

“ But when those whose presence makes labor easy are absent, Care is more likely to become a hard taskmaster. Our house being thus left unto us desolate, for a few days, we rebel, and have run away.
Seated all alone in one of those cozy little rooms in the “palace-cars,” on the banks of the Hudson, we will try for once how it feels to be free from care, and give ourselves up to the full enjoyment of the position. How beautiful is the scenery through which we are passing! Each one thinks his own native land, his own mountains and rivers, the finest in the world. ”

“ Dry and withered, to the ground,”— the lights and shadows on the mountains, the golden hues exchanged for deeper russet, the dark red of the Ampelopsis mingling with the rich color of the evergreens that cover the banks,—all caught by the flashing river, and thrown back in broken and fantastic reflection,—call for increasing admiration; and mid-winter, when the ground is white with snow, and the trees are strung with diamonds, will only furnish stronger cords to hold us steadfast to our allegiance. ”

“ How beautifully quiet the pretty villages, nested in among the mountains or scattered along the banks, appear! Is it possible that sickness or sorrow, heartaches or envyings, fierce passions or corroding cares, can find a harbor near this tranquil river? It must be so, no doubt; but as we fly quickly past, and cannot see it, what is it all to us? Why trouble ourselves with the thought of sorrows which we can neither alleviate nor prevent? ”

“ In your chambers study neatness and convenience, and also in the kitchen; but when you turn to the sitting and dining rooms, give yourself abundance of time to deliberate over everything connected with these apartments, and, after due consideration, begin the work, which, if rightly understood, will be a toil of pleasure,—a labor of love, never ending; because every week some pretty device or fanciful change or addition will occur to you, by which you can add to its simple attractions, thereby giving yourself great pleasure, and filling your heart with happy thoughts. ”

“ If a lady can afford to keep a housekeeper, and is willing to submit to the rule and tyranny of one, rather than burden herself with the entire charge of a house, we can only say, “There is no accounting for tastes,” and will not presume to doubt her right to do so; but even then, after having thrown off the supervision of the household, and all the details connected with its care, we believe every one should still retain sufficient responsibility to be sure that the housekeeper is faithful, capable, and willing at all times to render a satisfactory account of her stewardship ”

“ THE wind is playing with the long gray beard on the grand old live-oak over our heads; the air, soft and balmy, brings the slightest intimation of perfume from the orange-trees around us; the golden fruit, half hidden in the rich, glossy leaves, and here and there a bud just opening into the delicate blossom, give promise of another harvest before the first is fully gathered. ”

“ Isn’t it just what many of the big girls are seeking to do, and the big boys—“children of a larger growth” than you, my little man—are striving to prevent? Where is the girl, unless she has by fashion and conventionalities been unnaturally biassed, who would not gladly, once in a while, exchange sewing, sweeping, and dusting for a run out into the free air and glad sunshine, to take your place, and do your work,—feed the chickens, weed in the garden, hoe the corn, milk the cows, or rake the hay,—though modern improvements have of late cheated them of half such pleasures? ”

“ This class of travelers leave their homes, not for information and improvement, but for the opportunity of grumbling, on a new and more extensive scale than can be attained in their own families. They leave home in search of some yet untried cause for grumbling, and by a long stretch of conscience and imagination they contrive to find it, and return with a large store of freshly gathered material, over which to expatiate for some weeks, quite to the relief of their families. ”

“ The more inconvenient a kitchen may be, the more need for cleanliness, carefulness, and for plentiful and good utensils to simplify one’s work. Cleanliness! Cleanliness!—the great essential in all cooking operations—should, I maintain, at the risk of being thought over-particular, be written in large capitals on the door of every kitchen, large or small. A kitchen may be small, badly arranged and lighted, but it should never, on any plea, be dirty. ”

“ Too young to be sent to school more than a few hours a day, or to be turned out unattended, to play with chance companions, they hang about me, uneasy, restless, fractious, teasing for something continually. I often think it would be a comfort could we put them on a shelf to sleep through the unquiet, turbulent period of childhood, to wake up full-grown men. ”

“ It is a great event in a child’s life when it first feels that you look to it with loving confidence for the performance of certain duties that you have trusted to its honor. The feeling of responsibility which comes with this knowledge awakens self-respect, and the care and faithfulness which the youngest sees must be necessary to the satisfactory execution of the work will be good seed sown, which in after years will bear fruit, amply repaying all the trouble it cost to prepare the soil for its reception. ”

“ We are so chilled and benumbed by our short tarry in those prison-like parlors, that it has penetrated to the heart, and we are not quite sure that we feel any great affection for the friend from whom we have just parted, until, having walked a few moments, we regain life and freshness by a full bath in the fresh breezes and invigorating sunshine. ”

“ But pausing for a moment’s rest and deliberation, our thoughts took form and life, and led us into an imaginary conversation with a young housekeeper, passing though the same trials we had just been battling with. We think we cannot do better than send the thoughts and scenes that rose before our mind, as they so truly illustrate our idea of the necessity of constant watchfulness combined with “patient continuance in well-doing.” We think most of our readers, who have just begun life’s cares, will have already learned that imagination does not, in this case, equal the reality. ”

“ What honor can be greater than to found such a home? What dignity higher than to reign its undisputed, honored mistress? What is the ability to speak on a public platform to [Pg 64] large, intelligent audiences, or the wisdom that may command a seat on a judge’s bench, compared to that which can insure and preside over a true home, with such skill that husband and children “rise up and call her blessed”? To be the guiding star, the ruling spirit, in such a position is higher honor than to rule an empire. Woman’s rights! Has man any higher rights than these? ”

“ And when the servant, after calling her mistress, returns and opens the shutters just far enough to allow one small ray of “light divine” to struggle through, what a relief it is! How we long to spring forward, throw back the curtains, swing the blinds wide open, and give admittance to the full glory of the free, glad sunbeams. But no! Health and comfort must be sacrificed rather than expose the costly carpet and rich curtains. ”

“ No man will deny that a good wife is a treasure. Her care and labor certainly secure him many comforts; but how much would he consider them worth in dollars and cents? It is a great comfort to a husband to have his three meals a day properly cooked and prepared at hours that suit his convenience. He can swallow a dinner in twenty or thirty minutes, that it has taken most of the wife’s forenoon to prepare. He thinks it a good dinner; but how high an estimate think you would he put upon the labor of preparing it, if required to state the worth in money? ”

“ The cool breeze, laden with the perfume of cinnamon-roses and lilacs, while it sweeps through the open window of the old attic, no longer sports with golden curls, as the children run merry races in their efforts to “keep step” when the long white rolls of wool in the hand of the mother are transformed by the rapid revolutions of the big wheel into yarn for knitting. ”