Catharine Esther Beecher

“ Thus, facts seem to show that when the most aristocratic nation in the world is compared, as to manners, with the most democratic, the judgment of strangers is in favor of the latter. And if good manners are the outward exhibition of the democratic principle of impartial benevolence and equal rights, surely the nation which adopts this rule, both in social and civil life, is the most likely to secure the desirable exterior. The aristocrat, by his principles, extends the exterior of impartial benevolence to his own class only; the democratic principle requires it to be extended to all. ”

“ Surely it is a pernicious and mistaken idea that the duties which tax a woman’s mind are petty, trivial, or unworthy of the highest grade of intellect and moral worth. Instead of allowing this feeling, every woman should imbibe, from early youth, the impression that she is in training for the discharge of the most important, the most difficult, and the most sacred and interesting duties that can possibly employ the highest intellect. ”

“ In a democracy like ours, where few are very rich and the majority are in comfortable circumstances, this collecting and dispensing of drops and rills is the mode by which, in imitation of nature, the dews and showers are to distill on parched and desert lands. And every person, while earning a pittance to unite with many more, may be cheered with the consciousness of sustaining a grand system of operations which must have the most decided influence in raising all mankind to that perfect state of society which Christianity is designed to accomplish. ”

“ In these days, how common is it to provide rooms with only a flue for a stove! This flue is kept shut in summer, and in winter opened only to admit a close stove, which burns away the vital portion of the air quite as fast as the occupants breathe it away. The sealing up of fire-places and introduction of air-tight stoves may, doubtless, be a saving of fuel; it saves, too, more than that; in thousands and thousands of cases it has saved people from all further human wants, and put an end forever to any needs short of the six feet of narrow earth which are man’s only inalienable property. ”

“ On the contrary, there are many tables where the closest economy is practiced; and yet the table-cloth is so white and smooth, the dishes, silver, glass, and other table articles so bright, and arranged with such propriety; the bread so light and sweet; the butter so beautiful, and every other article of food so well cooked, and so neatly and tastefully served, that every thing seems good, and pleases both the eye and the palate. ”

“ But one who truly and firmly believes that this life is but the beginning of an eternal career to every immortal inmate of her home, and that the formation of tastes, habits, and character, under her care, will bring forth fruits of good or ill, not only through earthly generations, but through everlasting ages—such a woman secures a calm and exalted principle of action, and a source of peace which no earthly motives can impart. ”

“ A third method is, for a woman deliberately to calculate on having her best-arranged plans interfered with very often, and to be in such a state of preparation that the evil will not come unawares. So complicated are the pursuits, and so diverse the habits of the various members of a family, that it is almost impossible for every one to avoid interfering with the plans and taste of a housekeeper in some one point or another. It is, therefore, most wise for a woman to keep the loins of her mind ever girt, to meet such collisions with a cheerful and quiet spirit. ”

“ And when they became scattered abroad to colder climes, the open fire-place secured a full supply of pure air. But civilization has increased economies and conveniences far ahead of the knowledge needed by the common people for their healthful use. Tight sleeping-rooms, and close, air-tight stoves, are now starving and poisoning more than one half of this nation. It seems impossible to make people know their danger. And the remedy for this is the light of knowledge and intelligence which it is woman’s special mission to bestow, as she controls and regulates the ministries of a home. ”

“ It will be wise for those parents who find little time to attend to their children, or to seek amusement and enjoyment in the domestic and social circle, because their time is so much occupied with public cares or benevolent objects, to inquire whether their first duty is not to train up their own families to be useful members of society. A man who neglects the mind and morals of his children to take care of the public, is in great danger of coming under a similar condemnation to that of him who, neglecting to provide for his own household, has “denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” ”

“ Whenever a family-room is heated by an open fire, it is duly ventilated, as the impure air is constantly passing off through the heated chimney, while, to supply the vacated space, the pure air presses in through the cracks of doors,167 windows, and floors. No such supply is gained for rooms warmed by stoves. And yet, from mistaken motives of economy, as well as from ignorance of the resulting evils, multitudes of householders are thus destroying health and shortening life, especially in regard to women and children who spend most of their time within doors. ”

“ They lie for hours to have their feet twigged, their arms flexed, and all the different muscles of the body worked for them, because they are so flaccid and torpid that the powers of life do not go on. Would it not be quite as cheerful, and a less expensive process, if young girls from early life developed the muscles in sweeping, dusting, starching, ironing, and all the multiplied domestic processes which our grandmothers knew of? Does it not seem poor economy to pay servants for letting our muscles grow feeble, and then to pay operators to exercise them for us? ”

“ If mankind had only one article of food, and only water to drink, though they would have less enjoyment in eating, they would never be tempted to put any more into the stomach than the calls of hunger require. But the customs of society, which present an incessant change, and a great variety of food, with those various condiments which stimulate appetite, lead almost every person very frequently to eat merely to gratify the palate, after the stomach has been abundantly supplied, so that hunger has ceased. ”

“ Every Christian woman who “walks by faith and not by sight,” who looks forward to the results of self-sacrificing labor for the ignorant and sinful as they will enlarge and expand through everlasting ages, may rise to the same elevated sphere of experience and happiness.
On the contrary, the more highly cultivated the mind devoted to mere selfish enjoyment, the more are the sources of true happiness closed, and the soul left to helpless emptiness and unrest. ”

“ At the very dawn of life, the infant watches with delight the graceful gambols of the kitten, and soon makes it a playmate. Meantime, its outcries when hurt appeal to kindly sympathy, and its sharp claws to fear; while the child’s mother has a constant opportunity to inculcate kindness and care for weak and ignorant creatures. Then the dog becomes the outdoor playmate and guardian of early childhood, and he also guards himself by cries of pain, and protects himself by his teeth. ”

“ In the first place, consider that the great object of life to us is not enjoyment, but the formation of a right character; that such a character can not be formed except by discipline, and that the trials and difficulties of domestic life, if met in a proper spirit and manner, will in the end prove blessings rather than evils, by securing a measure of elevation, dignity, patience, self-control, and benevolence, that could be gained by no other methods. ”

“ Multitudes of women, who hear terrific accounts of the nature of these complaints, and of the treatment that is inevitable, have their imagination so excited that aches and pains that are really trifling become magnified into all the symptoms of the dreaded evil. They betake themselves to bed, become more and more nervous as they give up air, exercise, and occupation, and thus drag out a useless life, a burden to themselves and to their families. ”

“ For there are few practical questions on which persons of equal intelligence and moral worth are not in antagonism as to what is the right; and all the Christian sects are in equal controversy as to what are the teachings of the Bible. And yet every housekeeper, every mother, and every teacher, practically, must decide these questions for herself and her dependants, when, in the kitchen, nursery, and school-room she teaches what actions and feelings are right or wrong, or when she decides to what religious denomination she, and those she can influence, shall belong. ”

“ Shall we not rather take the place to which we are entitled, as the leaders, rather than the followers, in the customs of society, turn back the tide of aristocratic inroads, and carry through the whole, not only of civil and political but of social and domestic life, the true principles of democratic freedom and equality? ”

“ The sons of such mothers, in their college life, or in roaming about the world, or in nursing a sick wife or infant, find occasion to bless the forethought and kindness which prepared them for such emergencies. Few things are in worse taste than for a man needlessly to busy himself in women’s work; and yet a man never appears in a more interesting attitude than when, by skill in such matters, he can save a mother or wife from care and suffering. ”

“ Meantime, the rich women will have large houses, many servants, poor health, and little domestic comfort, while they train the children of foreigners to do family work, and in a way that will satisfy neither mistress nor servant; for a woman who does not work herself is rarely able to properly teach others. Choose wisely, then, O youthful mother and housekeeper! train yourself to wholesome labor and intelligent direction, and be prepared to educate a cheerful and healthful flock of your own children. ”

“ It is very certain that some ladies do carry forward a most efficient government, both of children and domestics, without employing tones of anger; and therefore they are not indispensable, nor on any account desirable.
Though some ladies of intelligence and refinement do fall unconsciously into such a practice, it is certainly very unlady-like, and in very bad taste, to scold; and the further a woman departs from all approach to it, the more perfectly she sustains her character as a lady. ”

“ The terrible effects I have seen from simple ignorance, both on individual and domestic happiness, convince me that a great work is to be attempted in this direction. More than half the cases of extreme suffering which have come under my care could have been saved, had the course that is aimed at by you and your associates have been secured by them. I have been called repeatedly to lecture to young ladies, near the close of a school education, on subjects so important to their future health and happiness, and I never found the least difficulty, either on their part or my own. ”

“ It is an interesting illustration of the benevolence and wisdom of our Maker, that the appropriate duties of the family, uniting intellectual, social, and moral with both sedentary and active pursuits, are exactly fitted to employ every faculty in a healthful proportion. And it is a sad violation of the laws of health to so divide family employments that one class use muscle too much, and the other the brain to excess. ”

“ A person possessed of wealth, who has nothing more noble to engage attention than seeking personal enjoyment, subjects the mental powers and moral feelings to a degree of inactivity utterly at war with health and mind. And the greater the capacities, the greater are the sufferings which result from this cause. Any one who has read the misanthropic wailings of Lord Byron has seen the necessary result of great and noble powers bereft of their appropriate exercise, and, in consequence, becoming sources of the keenest suffering. ”

“ A time is coming when American housekeepers will better understand their high privileges as chief ministers of the family state. Then it will no longer be a cause of discontent that a well-trained and faithful servant is withdrawn to bless another family, or to rear one of her own. Rather it will be seen that the Christian woman’s kitchen is a training-school of good servants, where ignorant heathen come to be guided heavenward, and prepared to rear healthful and Christian families of their own. ”

“ This stimulus to industry could never exist in a community where all are just alike, as it does in a state of society where every man sees possessed by others enjoyments which he desires, and may secure by effort and industry. So, in a community where all are alike as to property, there would be no chance to gain that noblest of all attainments, a habit of self-denying benevolence which toils for the good of others, and takes from one’s own store to increase the enjoyments of another. ”

“ Again, a housekeeper should feel that she really has great difficulties to meet and overcome. A person who wrongly thinks there is little danger, can never maintain so faithful a guard as one who rightly estimates the temptations which beset her. Nor can one who thinks that they are trifling difficulties which she has to encounter, and trivial temptations to which she must yield, so much enjoy the just reward of conscious virtue and self-control as one who takes an opposite view of the subject. ”

“ In our colleges, too, many of the most promising minds sink to an early grave, or drag out a miserable existence, from this same cause. And it is an evil as yet little alleviated by the increase of physiological knowledge. Every college and professional school, and every seminary for young ladies, needs a medical man or woman, not only to lecture on physiology and the laws of health, but empowered by official capacity to investigate the case of every pupil, and, by authority, to enforce such a course of study, exercise, and repose as the physical system requires. ”