Mrs. Henry S. Mackarness

“ In short, to be a true gentleman, you must be generous and noble, as well as just and courteous. You must be scrupulously careful to be—Pure in body, pure in manners, pure in morals, and pure in heart.
Follow fashion moderately, if you would follow it gracefully. Never rely on dress to make you a gentleman. ”

“ But I will recommend to you a most scrupulous tenderness for your moral character, and the utmost care not to do or say anything that may ever so slightly taint it. Show yourself, upon all occasions, the advocate, the friend, but not the bully, of virtue. ”

“ A good enunciation is a distinctive mark of good breeding. Speak your words plainly and distinctly, and in a moderate tone of voice. Pronounce words in the manner that is used by the best bred persons, but not affectedly, or [Pg 74] with a strained precision. Avoid all vulgar or inaccurate vowel sounds, as keow, ile, soit, for cow, oil, sight. Do not slip or smother your consonants, as gen’lm’n for gentleman, mornin’ for morning ,&c.
[Pg 75]
CLEANLINESS.
No one can please in company, however graceful his air, unless he be clean and neat in his person. ”

“ There is nothing so delicate as your moral character, and nothing that it is your interest so much to preserve pure. Should you be suspected of injustice, malignity, perfidy, lying, &c., all the parts and knowledge in the world will never procure you esteem, friendship, or respect. ”

“ Ignorance and vice are the only things of which we need be ashamed. Avoid these, and you may go into what company you will.
A modest assurance in every [Pg 68] part of life, is the most advantageous qualification we can possibly acquire.
GOOD BREEDING.
To show the politeness of a true gentleman, you must be quick to observe four things: [Pg 69]
What your place is. What is due to every person. How to do what is proper in an agreeable manner. How to make yourself acceptable to others, in person, manners, and conversation. ”

“ He who is not thoroughly clean in his person, will be offensive to all with whom he converses. A particular regard to the cleanliness of your [Pg 76] mouth, teeth, hands, and nails, is but common decency.
A foul mouth and unclean hands, are certain marks of vulgarity; the first is the cause of an offensive breath, which nobody can endure, and the last is declarative of dirty work, and disgraceful negligence to remove the filth. One may always know a gentleman by the state of his hands and nails. ”

“ A gentleman should never recognise a lady, to whom he has never been presented, at a ball or evening party, and should pass her as a stranger, unless she chooses to recognise him, when he should, as in all other cases, return the salute. ”

“ Civility is particularly due to all women; and remember that no provocation whatever can justify any person in being uncivil to a woman; and the [Pg 90] greatest man in the land would be reckoned a brute, if he was not civil to the meanest woman. It is due to their sex, and is the only protection they have against the superior strength of ours. ”

“ TO INFERIORS.
Be meek, courteous, and affable to your inferiors; not proud nor scornful. To be courteous, even to the lowest, is a true index of a great and generous mind. But the insulting and scornful one, who [Pg 48] has been himself originally low, ignoble, or beggarly, makes himself ridiculous to his equals, and by his inferiors is repaid with scorn and hatred.
RECOGNITIONS.
A gentleman, on meeting a lady of his acquaintance in the street, or elsewhere, should not presume to bow to her, till she [Pg 49] has first recognised him ”

“ Jeer not at any person, whatever.
Always give the right hand to your superiors, (by superiors, I do not mean so much [Pg 32] in regard to birth, as age, merit, and the light in which they are regarded by the world,) when you either meet or walk with them; and mind also to give them the wall, in meeting or walking with them; for that is the upper hand, though in walking your superior should then be at your left hand. ”

“ The same person who is overbearing to his inferiors, is likely to show a cringing servility to his superiors. Both faults are marks of a mean and groveling mind. Maintain your self-respect, if you would enjoy the respect of others. ”

“ Speaking of any distant person, it is rude and unmannerly to point at him.
Be not over earnest in talking, to justify your own words.
[Pg 45]
Let your words be modest, about those things which concern only yourself.
Repeat not the words of a superior, who asks you a question, or talks with you.
TO EQUALS.
Be kind, pleasant, and loving, not cross, nor churlish, to your equals; and in thus behaving [Pg 46] yourselves, all persons will naturally desire your familiar acquaintance; every one will be ready and willing, upon opportunity, to assist you. ”

“ Then you may turn off towards the young people, and take a seat among them, with that agreeable expression of sympathy on your face, which encourages conversation.
On entering the dining-room, you must use your eyes to discover which part of the table is considered the most honorable. Try to seat yourself among the least important portion [Pg 65] of the company, unless desired by the lady or gentleman of the house to take a particular seat. ”

“ Give your superiors place to pass before you, in any narrow place where two persons cannot pass at once.
If you go with your parents, teacher, or any superior, go not playfully through the streets.
[Pg 34]
Pay your respects to all you meet, of your acquaintance or friends.
It is impolite to stare at every unusual person or thing which you may see in the street, or to use any improper postures, either of head, hands, feet, or body. ”

“ Truman are greatly obliged by Mr. and Mrs. Bristow’s kind invitation, and will do themselves the honor of waiting upon them.
Mr. and Mrs. Truman are exceedingly sorry that a pre-engagement [Pg 60] will prevent them from accepting Mr. and Mrs. Bristow’s kind invitation.
[Pg 61]
DINNER PARTIES.
Whenever dinners are given to invited guests, civility requires that an early answer should be returned; for the proper wording of such answers, I refer you to the Notes of Invitation, where full directions are given. An acceptance, in such a case, should be as binding as a promissory [Pg 62] note ”