Various

“ When packing his Budget a wise Chancellor of the Exchequer always includes some little tit-bit that he can throw to the wolves if they become too insistent. In the present case the tax on railway tickets was marked for abandonment at the outset, and to-day it met its expected fate.
The Amusements tax was strenuously opposed by Mr. Barnes, on the ground that most of the money would come from the poor; but Mr. McKenna frankly replied that that was just what he intended. ”

“ Then they lose their unfortunate heads and strike out blindly to right and left. The other nations have no course open to them except to defend themselves as best they may, and then Herr Bethmann and his superior fools shout out that this wicked defensive proves up to the hilt that when they spoke of conspiracies they were fully justified and that Germany for her own safety must smash and in the end control every other country under the sun.
And yet, your Majesty, the time will come when we must have peace. ”

“ And then I said to myself, I must regain Cherriman's respect if it means the hardest bit of shooting I've ever done here or in Flanders."
"That's right, Sir! Don't do to let glory o' England die. Thank ye kindly for rabbits, Sir—us'll enjoy 'em proper." ”

“ He was, however, somewhat comforted when Lord Crewe made it plain that the Government did not share Lord Courtney's illusions about the strength of the German peace-party, and, having regard to the manner in which Germany had in the past combined commercial expansion with political intrigue, could not hold out hopes that after the War we should do business with her in the same old easy-going way. But if our French friend is still not quite convinced that British [267] statesmen fully realize what the War means to him and his country I don't I think we can altogether blame him. ”

“ I see that one of the reviews of that previous best seller of hers, The Lure of Crooning Water, speaks of its literary charm. Well, there are, of course, many varieties of charm, but "literary" is hardly the epithet that I should myself apply to the undoubted attractions of A Slack Wire (Long) . This very bustling story of the marriage between a variety artist and a quiet, not to say somewhat prigsome, young engineer is told for the most part in the purest American, an engaging and vivid medium with which I am but imperfectly acquainted. ”

“ They and their fellow-fools, some of them quite brilliant men, with high notions on literature and music and the drama, are for ever in a state of jealous fear. They have the mania of persecution and imagine that all other countries are leagued against them for the purpose of wiping Germany off the map. ”

“ The incident showed the man's mind and his disposition in a lightning flash, and from all countries, even from wretched Belgium and from ruined Serbia, there came a laugh of hatred and contempt. Why are we so hated? Not because we are great and powerful and prosperous, but because we make our greatness an incubus, our power a tyranny and our prosperity an offence. ”

“ Wednesday, April 12th.—Although, like another noble Earl, Lord Selborne is "not an agricultural labourer," he does his best to play the part, and save our food-producers from the maw of the hungry recruiting officer. A representative of the Board of Agriculture now holds a watching brief at every local Tribunal, to see that the Military representative does not have things too much his own way. No wonder that the taxes mount up faster than the recruiting returns. ”

“ Indeed, your Majesty, a fool who is also arrogant is a very terrible thing. When Bethmann, for instance, spoke of Germany's love for her neighbours, and in particular for the small nations, he delivered himself into my hands. ”

“ Clarence Allardyce, the rising young artist, cannot in all London find a model worthy to pose for the hair in his masterpiece, 'The Wood Nymph.' On the eve of the exhibition he tells his trouble to his friend, Charles Carfax, who, with his fiancée, has visited the studio. ”

“ While announcing in Parliament last week that the Zoo would have to pay the Amusement Tax the Chancellor promised to "keep an open mind in regard to any representations that might be made on the subject." Mr. McKenna, we understand, has since received a strong representation from the hippopotamus, protesting that, while he and his fellow-pachyderms are commonly considered as instructive, their natural dignity precludes them from attempting to provide amusement in any form.
"In twenty years' time," says Mr. Pemberton Billing, "the aeroplane will bring about universal peace." ”

“ Amongst the sights which never fail to draw the attention of curious Londoners is that of girls perched high up on enormous vans manipulating the reins and guiding fresh nurses through the maze of city traffic. ”

“ Lord Courtney believes that there is in Germany a large and powerful peace-party, which must not be frightened by any threats of reprisals, and he commends to the Allies in 1916 the example of Bismarck in letting the Austrians off easily in 1866. ”

“ A woman doctor has lately advanced the theory that talking leads to long life; but an attested married man of our acquaintance assures us that this is a mistake, and that it merely makes it seem longer. ”

“ An' then it come over me all of a sudden what 'twas. 'Where be y'r gun, Sir?' I shouts to 'im over th' stile."
"What did 'e say to question personal as that?"
"'E come up to me an' I sees 'e got bunch o' daffodils in 'is 'and. 'These things smell o' Heaven,' 'e says, smilin' quiet. 'My gun is in the rack, Cherriman,' 'e says, 'where it's like to be.' 'Lor' love me, Sir,' says I, 'that do be strange, surelye, wi' th' rabbits 'oppin' 'round y' feet like a lot o' gals courtin' o' ye.' 'Strange,' 'e says; 'but we lives in strange times now, Cherriman. ”

“ Fightin' Germans is a man's work just to present—if 'e be strong 'nough an' young 'nough an' all rest of it. But ye can't judge a man by 'is work 'lone, not to make a proper man of 'im. Sport did used to be the glory o' England, in my young days. ”

“ GLORY O' ENGLAND. (At the "Plough and Horses.")
"Glory o' England, be passin', sure 'nough."
"She been passin' ever since I been 'ere to tell o' it, seems to me. 'Ow be she passin' now more 'n ordinary times, Luther Cherriman?"
"Way as is nearest to sudden death, George. 'Er young men gettin' that soft an' sloppy-like that there ain't no tellin' some of 'em from gals."
"Gals be comin' 'long won'erful—not much to complain o' wi' they. Drivin' motors, they be, an' diggin' an' all."
"Times be changin' fast; nigh time women wore the breeches an' done wi' it, now." ”

“ I stopped a shot somebody 'ad aimed at the sky for joy.
"When old Binks and the German chap 'oo 'ad done it was carryin' me back to our trench, I saw the Major come rushin' past.
"'Go it, men,' 'e sings out to our chaps, and then off 'e sprints again, to finish a bet he was makin' with the German officer.
"For an hour and a 'alf the excitement was awful. Up and down went that wire until the place looked like a ploughed field. First we gained an inch, then Germany 'ad a couple, then England gets one back, and up goes our caps again. ”

“ An' now the young uns ain't got spunk 'nough to shoot a rabbit."
"That be an 'ard sayin', Luther, if ye like. 'Oo be you 'ludin' to partic'lar?"
"I be 'ludin' to young Squire—'oo did ought to set a good 'xample in this 'ere village, if anyone ought."
"'E were th' first to go when th' War broke out, though 'e be th' only son of 'is parents. An' more 'n 'alf of our chaps went 'cos of 'im, so 'tis said."
"That's all right, far as it goes——"
"I've 'eard say as 'e 've got a few more t' join ev'ry blessed time 'e've been 'ome on leave. They do say 'e be mortal keen." ”

“ They were more amenable to the criticisms on the railway-tax, which would fall very hardly upon commercial travellers and other business people. Mr. McKenna promised to give careful consideration to the criticisms before the Committee stage. Possibly it has occurred to him that as the Government have undertaken to bring the net receipts of the railway companies up to the 1914 level the Exchequer might have to pay out of one pocket nearly as much as it puts into the other. ”

“ The opponents of Colonel Roosevelt regard the advice given in the title of his new book, Fear God and take your own part, to be unusually moderate as coming from one who, whatever he may have said to the contrary, is very generally suspected of being prepared to take the part that is at present being played by President Wilson. ”

“ Inch by inch we saw our chaps give way, black in the face at the notion of bein' beat. The Bosches yelled like 'eathens, and was shakin' hands with everybody. Then all of a sudden young Bann comes rushin' up to the Major, 'oo was takin' four to one with a chap from Coburg.
"'Stop, Sir!' I 'ears 'im shout. 'Stop the contest! The dirty blighters are usin' a windlass.'
"'Wot?' 'owls the Major, goin' purple at the thought of international laws bein' disregarded like that.
"'Take the men off the rope,' 'e orders. ”

“ The match-makers were partially appeased by a promise that mechanical lighters should not be overlooked. The Chancellor is now in some doubt as to whether he or Æschylus has produced the more notable version of "Prometheus Bound."
Thursday, April 13th.—A provincial paper lately referred to Mr. McKenna as the "Cancellor"—a humorous compositor's way, no doubt, of indicating the modifications in the Budget. Hardly one of the proposed new taxes has survived intact. Even the tax on mineral waters has had to undergo considerable alteration. ”

“ Unfortunately accidents will happen at times, and if one has happened in this case we hope you will tell us about it so that we can try to put it right the day we get your letter. It does not make any difference what the trouble is, we will do our best to make it good. ”

“ You dunno what it's like, Cherriman,' 'e says, 'seein' you ain't come back to it from 'ell. Rabbits be safe 'nough from me now,' 'e says, an' drops his daffs all unknowin' like an' goes off at a mooney stride. An' 'e finest shot in th' county, some do say—an' I believes 'em!"
"Teh, Luther—stop yer jaw! There be young Squire a-comin'. An' bless me if 'e ain't ..." ”

“ Then things suddenly got worse. Our eight 'ung on like 'eroes, everyone swearin' 'e wouldn't loose that rope if 'e was pulled into the Kayser's bloomin' bedroom; but sure enough the Huns was slowly winnin'. ”