Various

“ From Raphael until Pceszy Turgidoff (the brilliant young Slav whose canvas has recently been acquired by the Royal Geological Museum) all true artists have striven to adumbrate the eternal conflict between the morbid pathology of Realism and the poignant simplicity of Nihilism. In other and shorter words, chaos must ever be on the side of the angels. But, until the advent of the new Truth, the whole mission of art had trickled into a very delta of arid sentiment. ”

“ Primitive space has entered into us, as it were.... Against that space within us, as against the space that appalled the savage from without, we erect always more hard and logical images.... All brute material, animate and inanimate, of earth, becomes an organism to confront the soul. ”

“ But the best of us are liable to error!"
"You have now," the fairy reminded him, "one wish left. Will you desire that your task-master here be returned to the place whence he came?"
"I will not," said the woodcutter. "If it amuses him to stay, he is quite welcome. If not, I imagine him to be capable of walking. Let me see. At the present moment the only wants I can suggest are both few and simple; a million pounds invested in Government stock, the constitution of a gladiator, and to be as wise as the greatest fool on earth imagines himself—these are the lot. ”

“ And, as a consequence even of this, the appearance, as it is seen in art to-day, tends to be more removed from everyday objective reality than at any former period of art. A new religion is being built up, girder by girder, around the vague spirit. Space, the physical space of savage shyness, is now on our side. ”

“ Todwarden Jones's rectilineal wizardry, "A Basket of Oranges"; and Arabella Machicu's triumph of astigmatism, "The Revolving Bookcase," are examples of this conquest of the inner retina over the brutal insistences of form and matter.
Of still deeper significance is that terribly sad picture of Philip Martini, "The Mumpers: a Group at Lloyds." Nothing is more illustrative of the courage demanded for the struggle of the new art against convention than this poignant work, wherein, true to the verities, the artist has confounded realism in its own domain by the unrecognisable faces of his sitters. ”

“ Sir Edwin added in pathetic proof of the degeneracy of the moderns that his own famous pamphlet had taken him twice as long to compose as Chaucer had taken Bacon.
Mr. Hall Caine strongly deprecated the tendency to put a premium on rapid composition, as though there were any special virtue in speed. His own novels, which were written with his heart's blood, represented in their ultimate form a rigorous condensation of materials ten or even fifteen times as bulky. It was in this process of condensation that the self-sacrificing side of true genius was most convincingly shown. ”

“ Surely the inhibition of all apperceptions in art is correlative to the inner ego? That simple postulate granted, it will be unquestioned that the true focus of vision should co-ordinate the invisible. Faith we must have, or we faint by the roadside of the intelligible. ”

“ Doctors are not butchers."
"Sometimes surgeons are, so it comes to much the same. Anyhow, I object to paying money without knowing what for. Let's apply for an invoice, if only for the principle of the thing."
"We'll do nothing of the sort," said Minerva rather sharply. "It sounds so mean, Jack, to ask a doctor for a detailed account—almost as if we didn't trust him." ”

“ We had been offered the position of auditors to several of the company, but we were going to see Parsifal on the next day, and I was afraid that the constant excitement would be bad for Celia.
"Why don't you ask me to play with you?" she asked. "You never teach mo anything."
"There's ingratitude. Why, I gave you your first lesson at golf only last Thursday."
"So you did. I know golf. Now show me billiards."
I looked at my watch.
"We've only twenty minutes. I'll play you thirty up."
"Right-o... What do you give me—a ball or a bisque or what?"
"I can't spare you a ball, I'm afraid. ”

“ Kid Lewis's victory last week over Paul Til, it is the opinion among a good many Germans that the French Government, being determined that the Entente should not be imperilled, decided to send over a French boxer whom an Englishman could defeat.
Letchworth Garden City is now considered large enough to possess its own police court, and the Herts County Council has sanctioned its erection. Four Letchworth residents have been made J.P.'s, and it is now up to the residue to supply sufficient criminals to make the venture a success. ”

“ I said, "I'll try and screw in off the red." (I did this once by accident and I've always wanted to do it again) . "Or perhaps," I corrected myself, as soon as the ball had left me, "I had better give a safety miss."
I did. My ball avoided the red and came swiftly back into the left-hand bottom pocket.
"That's three to you," I said without enthusiasm.
Celia seemed surprised.
"But I haven't begun yet," she said. "Well, I suppose you know the rules, but it seems funny. What would you like me to do?"
"Well, there isn't much on. You'd better just try and hit the red ball." ”

“ An obvious precaution that we were obliged to take in our own interests. We lost heavily in that way at one time. But consider well. You have the choice of wealth beyond the dreams of avarice. You can become the most powerful monarch in the world. ”

“ So saying, he produced from his pocket a small pamphlet entitled, On Transactions with Fairies; with Some Hints to Beginners. Having studied this for a moment, "I suppose," said the woodcutter, "that by 'wishes' you mean without restriction? Not anything within reason, or economies of that sort?"
The visitor looked surprised and a little hurt. "There is no such thing as reason in Fairyland," she said stiffly.
"The mistake was mine," said the woodcutter.
[pg 114]
"Only one wish is closed to you," resumed the fairy; "you may not wish to have any more wishes." ”

“ Last week, in the City of London Court, a man was ordered to pay £15 damages and costs for pouring a basin of thick ox-tail soup over another man. We are glad that this action has been held to be illegal, as thick ox-tail is such nasty sticky stuff. ”

“ How much does it come to?"
"Allowing two visits to Maudie to be equal to three visits to Tommy, the total bill amounts to six pounds three shillings."
"But that's four pounds seven less than he charges."
"And observe I am allowing two pounds eleven for Baby's fidgets—or rather for your fidgets about baby—on the basis of Aunt Maria being worth a guinea a whim."
"Two pounds eleven for looking at Baby's tongue every other day when there was nothing really the matter with him at all! It's preposterous, Jack. There must be something wrong. You must see Dr. Thom at once about that account. ”

“ Sir Edwin Durning-Lawrence, Bart., poohpoohed the notion that the moderns were more rapid producers than their forefathers. As the result of his investigations he had conclusively proved that Bacon was an infinitely more rapid producer than any living author. ”

“ Although it is frequently stated that our army is fit to cope with the army of any Foreign Power it is evident that the War Office itself is not quite satisfied, and reforms are instituted from time to time. ”

“ To diagnosing Aunt Maria and failing to find anything wrong and recommending appendicitis.... ' Shall we say a guinea for Aunt Maria's put-up job? I ought to get my money back since nothing was found in Aunt Maria. There should be at least a discount on false alarms."
"Then there was Baby," continued Minerva. "We didn't know what was wrong with him—and really I don't think now there was very much the matter, although I felt so anxious at the time. But the doctor never would explain fully." ”

“ Go! I wish to have everything I really want in the world." He paused expectantly, and even a little apprehensively.
"It is done," said the fairy; but nothing happened.
"That's all right!" said the woodcutter with obvious relief. "I will now, as an extra, wish both you and the foreman good evening."
Whereupon he bowed them politely out of the hut and returned chuckling to his hygienic diet. Which appears to show that even in the year Once men were not always the fools that they are usually represented.
AIDS TO ADVERTISERS.
Miles of Free Advertisements by using Rubber Letter Soles. ”

“ Bernard Farquharson, the big-hearted colonial, returning to England and seeing the waste of potentially good men in preposterous casual jobs which cannot lead anywhere, longs to give them the chances of the big spaces in South Africa (where, of course, there are no Labour troubles and a man's a man for a' that!) ”

“ The only altruism is that which can defy the cold brutality of things as they are, and convince us with things as they are not. Thus alone can the contemplation of art bring us back to primal infelicity, and restore in our souls the perfect vacuity of infants and cows. Thus only can we achieve the suffusion of vision of the happy inebriate.
Sunday-school Teacher. "And now, Tommy, about your prize—would you like a hymn-book?"
Tommy. "A yim-book's all right, teacher, but—er—er—I'd sooner 'ave a squirt."
THE TROPHY.
I'd dined at home ”

“ Could that be arranged?"
"Easily," they said.
"Good," he replied. "Then tell me what I've spent on my bally old stomach—on food."
"On food," they replied. "We find that you have spent on yourself an average of a pound a day for food. For five years that is, roughly, £1825."
"Roughly?" said the Nut.
"Yes. Counting one leap year, it would be £1826. But then you have entertained with some freedom, bringing the total to £3075."
"Yes," said the Nut. "And what about drinks?"
"We find," was the reply, "that on drinks your average has been eighteen shillings a day, or £1643 8s. 0d. in all." ”

“ It will make it more interesting for you."
There was just room to creep in off the red, leaving it still over the pocket. With Celia's ball nicely over the other pocket there was a chance of my twenty break. "Let's see," I said, "how many do I want?" ”

“ To thawing Maudie's chest, lubricating throat, and taking hard edge off voice, time and expenses.' ... How much?"
"He was only twice at Maudie, three times at Tommy. What did you put down for Tommy?"
"Fifteen bob; but Maudie is bigger than Tommy."
"She is big for her age," reflected Minerva. "I remember asking the doctor if he thought she was growing too fast."
"He'd call that a consultation."
"'Item 5. To advising on rate of speed recommended for Maudie's growth, one guinea.'"
"I might have saved that charge," sighed Minerva. "But that was all. ”

“ By return of post the Secretary of the Income Producer Company, Limited, received an envelope addressed in a shaky hand and enclosing a postal order for a pound, together with a letter from Roberts, in which he prayed for a few days of grace, in which a poor but honest old man might raise the further 8s. 3d. thus demanded of him by legal process.
"The bride will be supported by five piers."
Evening Standard.
Read this aloud to your wife and see if she isn't jealous. And then try her with this from The Greater Britain Messenger:—
"Big Dams and what they mean to the Church." ”

“ You can see how large is the plan of such a tale; it is one of which you could not reasonably expect a wholly satisfactory ending, and to my mind the latter portion is the weaker. But there are some delightful scenes of life in modern Jerusalem. And Sarah Eden herself remains always a profoundly moving personality. For her alone the book deserves to be called "a novel of great distinction."
BEHIND THE SCENES IN THE PUBLIC SERVICE.
Municipal inflator preparing a coachman for an important public function. ”